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Home > Advice + Planning > Advice > Page 14

Destination Wedding Etiquette

03/09/2015 by Smashing The Glass

Destination-Wedding-Etiquette
Image by Susan Stripling  from Natasha and Jez’s Jewish destination wedding in the  South of France

This is a  guest post by Lisa Shiner

Like most little girls, when I dreamt of my wedding, I imagined myself as a princess. Not one of those modern-day braided-hair and frozen-storm-inducing Scandinavian ones — more the royal variety.

Even after years and countless weddings planned, I still believe in a version of that same dream. Admittedly, I no longer long for the fairytale, but do honestly believe that, for her wedding, every bride should be a princess.

But not in the way that you’re thinking…

Be thoughtful of  your guests

In an ideal world, the term “fairytale” could refer less to emulating royal affectations and more to embracing wedding etiquette fit for a queen. Certainly, it is your wedding and at the same time a perfect opportunity not to demand the royal treatment but rather bestow it. Family and friends who are investing their time and money to attend your destination wedding deserve to be listened to, honoured, respected and personally acknowledged.

Destination weddings are magical. Whether yours is set on a faraway beach paradise, an atmospheric desert location, or a spiritual site half a world away — destination weddings are woven from a complex fabric of families, emotions, circumstances, travel and sometimes even exhaustion. In trying to juggle these elements, it’s essential to keep a clear head and, equally importantly, keep the process enjoyable for both you and your future guests. As basic as this may sound, the best way of achieving this is by simply being thoughtful. Thoughtful of your own desires and requirement of course, this is after all your special day, but thoughtful also of the time, effort and expense which will inevitably be experienced by those who care for you and wish to be part of your special occasion.

destination-wedding-palm-beach
Image by Joy Marie Photography  from Starr and Jacques’ Jewish destination wedding in Palm Beach

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Going to a wedding alone? A note from the solo guest to the bride

12/08/2015 by Karen

going-to-a-wedding-alone
Image taken from Claudia & Felix’s NYC Jewish wedding by Stak Photography

I’ve most definitely attended far more weddings as a single lady  then partnered up, and I can honestly say that I’ve had the best time at  each and every one of them (aside from the moment when old uncle Sammy gave me a pitying look and  whispered “Please G-d by you” in my ear). I think it’s because I’ve only ever attended  really good friend’s, or cousin’s weddings minus a plus-one, so I’ve always enjoyed the celebrations alongside  a wonderful circle of friends, or cousins and family.

I’ve always loved a good W-day  (no surprise that I’m a wedding blogger then!) and have always relished partying with old faces, and potentially meeting new ones. But it’s not so straightforward for everybody, and certainly not easy at all if you don’t think you’ll know anyone but the couple on  the big day.

Juliet Simmons, who is currently single, has a few candid thoughts on what it feels like to turn up at a wedding on your own, whether it’s because you don’t have a partner, your partner is away, or your partner simply hasn’t been invited. What  do you think? Do you agree with Juliet’s sentiments? As a bride, will you be sensitive to your single friends when it comes to your wedding planning? Let us know in the comments section below.


Dear Friends

Thank you for inviting me to your wedding. Thank you for the beautiful invitation that landed, with a thud, on my doormat this morning. Thank you for counting me in and remembering to ask me — because believe me there are those that don’t and find one an odd number to think about in more ways than one. I’m grateful that you don’t.

I’m so looking forward to being with you, to celebrating and making memories that will create your special day. I really am. I know you’ve got lots to think about and I don’t want to add to your never ending to do list but had a few thoughts — I hope you don’t mind me sharing them.

I love that you’ve arranged for everyone to travel from the ceremony to the wedding reception together — such a nice touch and gives us a chance to chat on the way there (and compare photos on our phones). When I realised I gave a big sigh of relief as it means I don’t have to walk into the venue on my own — I don’t think anyone likes doing that do they?

I realise this is about you — not me — but when it comes to table planning I’d love it if you could sit me with people who I know. I don’t care if they are single or couples or old or young. I’d just like to know them and feel comfortable with them. Matching me up with someone on your big day should definitely not be your priority, so please don’t even think about trying to — one true love story per wedding (yours) should be quite enough.

I’m sure you’ve got an army of helpers sorted out for the big day but I just wanted to let you know that I’m very happy to be an extra pair of hands if you need me. If you have a list of people that you can just call on to do stuff then please feel free to add me to it — or if it’s easier to connect me with your head bridesmaid or whoever is keeping that list then you should just do that. I’m particularly happy to help if things need to be done when the slow sappy songs are on as it’s not the most fun time to be at a wedding on your own!

Well done for making it to the end of all of my lists. Like I said this is your big day not mine and I’m so glad that I’ll be there and be a part of it. Remember that I love you for inviting me and am already looking forward to sharing more special moments with you after the wedding.

I can’t wait to be with you and share the magic.
I’m counting down the days.
With lots of love xx

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The legal requirements of a Jewish wedding ceremony in the UK

05/08/2015 by Karen

legal-requirements-of-a-Jewish-wedding-ceremony

Granted  it’s  not the most exciting of topics, but one that definitely needs addressing, so thank you, Emily, for highlighting it! I asked  Emily  to provide me with an exact list of questions that she wanted answering and  then called upon the expertise of STG regular, the wonderful Rabbi Paul Glantz  to  shed light on the the legal requirements of a Jewish wedding ceremony in England, and the UK.

For any American readers, or brides holding  a  destination Jewish wedding in the USA, a post detailing  the legal requirements of a Jewish wedding in the USA will be up on the blog in he coming weeks  too.

farmhouse-wedding
Deborah & Hernan’s  Jewish wedding in a farmhouse.  See the full wedding here :: Image by York Place Studios

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How to embrace being pregnant on your wedding day

29/07/2015 by Tammy Viterbo

pregnant-bride
SmashingTheGlass.com’s founder, Karen Cinnamon, 13 weeks pregnant on her wedding day by  Earthy Photography

Karen Cinnamon, STG’s founder, was pregnant on her wedding day and looked absolutely stunning. If you too will be pregnant on your day, you need not fret. Read on about why you should embrace your little miracle, and some words of advice to ensure that your pregnancy only adds to the magnificence of your day..

The tiny second line on the stick you just peed on is the greatest thing you’ve ever seen. At this point you may or may not know it, but you have been blessed. What is happening inside you is so much bigger than any wedding, so much more beautiful than your dream dress, so much more precious than the ring on your finger. Like Woody Allen said, “if you want to make G-d  laugh, tell him your plans.” I am here to tell you that when G-d  tells you your plans — via a tiny plastic stick — it’s no laughing matter.

My most important piece of advice is not to let old-fashioned, subjective values ruin your excitement. The modern bride lives in a world where premarital sex is commonplace, and having children before marriage no longer carries the same stigma it once did. While religious considerations are valid, what is most important are the values you and your fiancà© share. This day is about the two of you, after all.

When women fall pregnant (before their wedding or after) some wait until the end of the first trimester to spread the news. Others wait till after the nuchal translucency test,  or the 12 week  scan. Regardless, it’s hard not to gush. Especially when you are at your hen  party and the number of toasts  or I-made-this-drink-just-for-you’s is endless.

Tell someone

You need a friend, a wing-woman,  at the hen  party and the wedding, to swoop in and replace your drink with a glass of cranberry juice. My sister-in-law was mine. She’d always make sure I was holding a colourful drink so that I was simply unable to take another. At the wedding, when she saw me holding a shot, she “accidentally” danced her way over, smashing the shot glass across the room. (Good save, but that shot glass was filled with water).

celebrity-pregnant-brides
Images: pregnant celebrity brides (left) Aleisha Keys, and (right) Lily Allen

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How to find your ideal wedding venue

22/07/2015 by Karen

find-your-wedding-venue
Finding a wedding venue is, I’m guessing,  right at the top  of your to-do list (as well as finding a  phenomenal dress of course!)  Aleisha McCormack,  author of the wedding planning guide Smart Wedding, and host of the Save The Date wedding podcast, is here  to tell you how to find and secure your ideal wedding venue  in a stress-free, easy-peasy and super-productive  way.

The ‘Perfect’ Wedding Venue doesn’t exist…

Your idea of a ‘perfect’ wedding venue (if there is such a thing) is, most likely, vastly different to mine. I’d say besides deciding that the person that you are marrying is ‘the one’, your wedding venue is the biggest choice that you will make when it comes to wedding planning… a big decision in which many smaller decisions rely and revolve around…so no pressure then!

Thanks to the magic of the interwebs, some fabulous new specialty apps and lateral thinking, the search for the venue that fits you is super easy.

Oval Space
Image: Oval Space wedding venue, London

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