Jewish wedding ceremony Archives - Smashing the Glass

Your Chuppah – Everything You Need To Know

17/04/2018 by Karen

This is a guest post by Lauren Dubell-Beadle, founder of The Chuppah Design Co who created the chuppah above
Image: Babb Photo from Clelia & George’s Jew-ish wedding

{If you are a Smashing The Glass VIB, you can watch Lauren’s video masterclass, ‘Everything You Need To Know About Your Chuppah’ here}

Before the dress, before the center pieces and before the personalized cocktails, your guests will see the symbolic chuppah that you will be married under. If you are like me, you will want that first impression to pack a punch and tell a story at the same time.

Why have a chuppah?

The chuppah goes back a long way and holds a lot of tradition within its simple four-posted structure. Its symbolism is vast, but ultimately the chuppah represents a couples first home that they will build together.

It is open on all four sides to represent the open hospitality the couple will give in their home to their family, friends and acquaintances… fitting more than a handful of your guests under the chuppah would be a challenge!

So the open sides help all your guests feel part of your ceremony. Today many non-Jewish couple choose to include a chuppah in their wedding for its symbolic nature and Jew-ish couples (like my husband and I) also want to have a chuppah, but may come across some challenges finding a rabbi who will willingly marry them or bless them under a chuppah.

US couples may not have the same issue, but if you are lucky enough to find Rabbi Paul Glantz free for your UK (or European) based date then make sure you snap him up! The chuppah was the first ‘Jewish thing’ we knew we wanted at our wedding and our insistence on having one led us to planning a wedding that was truly done ‘our way’. We wanted it to be the start of our meaningful and personal day.

Image: The Image is Found from Michelle & Joseph’s Jewish wedding

Where to get inspiration?

So where do you start with planning your chuppah? Most people make the decision if they want to DIY their chuppah or not before they actually decide what they want… and you can definitely do that… we did.

We knew we wanted to make it ourselves in keeping with the idea of the new couple building their home together and we really didn’t want anyone else’s help for this one part of our day. However, it is important to decide what sort of chuppah will fit in with the overall style of your wedding.

Do you want something simple and traditional (that could be relatively easy to DIY) or do you want a massive eye-catching art installation style that will be pinned and shared all over Instagram after the big day? The latter you may wish to get some help with!

There are three places I’d suggest looking for inspiration at this stage; Smashing the Glass (particularly this post), Pinterest and Instagram the hashtag #chuppah always works a treat!

Whilst you’re scrolling you can begin to think of the style you are heading towards and how you might be able to turn those inspirational images into a reality. Here you might decide if you are DIY-ing or looking for some support from a florist and a rental company or a design service (like me!) for the truly one-off personal chuppah.

Image: Dave Robbins from Jessie & Craig’s book-themed Jewish wedding

How to turn your vision into reality?

So, you are a newly engaged bride-to-be with a massive wedding Pinterest board and a whole load of new hashtags to follow on Instagram… so how do you turn all these ideas into something for your big day?

Do you go for it and DIY the whole thing or get someone in to do it for you? Both definitely have their merits. If you choose to DIY your chuppah then I’d suggest doing a bit of research before you plan it all out.Continue Reading

What’s the correct processional order for a Jewish wedding ceremony?

02/12/2014 by Karen

To begin with, I want to say that “there is no such thing as a ‘generic’ Jewish wedding – no matter what the rabbi tells you, no matter what your mother tells you, and no matter what the caterer tells you”.

That’s not my quote, that’s Anita Diamant’s, from her wonderful book, The New Jewish Wedding. And I start with it, as it’s important to know that just like all other aspects of a Jewish wedding, the processional order will vary with how religious you are, and your local practices, but it will still follow this basic order:

The wedding party enters in this order:

Rabbi and/or chazan (cantor) on Rabbi’s right.
Bride’s grandparents (or they can choose to be seated beforehand)
Groom’s grandparents (or they can choose to be seated beforehand)
Ushers in pairs (shortest to tallest)
Best man and / or Best woman
The groom, escorted by his parents (father on his left, mother on his right)
Bridesmaids (individually or in pairs)
The bride, escorted by her parents (father on her left, mother on her right)

Now THIS is how you break the glass at your Jewish wedding!

15/06/2014 by Karen

A guide to the Jewish Wedding Ceremony and Order of Service under the chuppah

09/06/2014 by Karen

Good question! Many wonderful traditions come together in a Jewish Wedding Ceremony and each one symbolises the beauty of the relationship of a husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and the Jewish people. Here’s my guide to everything you need to know.

[ Image: Natasha & Jez’s wedding by Susan Stripling ]

1. Signing of the Ketubah
To start with we have two short, but very important, rituals. The first is the signing of the ketubah. The ketubah is an ancient document – a marriage contract of sorts – that specifies the groom’s commitments to the bride. It is signed by two appointed Jewish witnesses, who must not be blood-related family members to the bride and groom.

Ketubot are often beautiful pieces of artwork that can be framed and displayed in the home.

[ Image: Jessica & Pete’s ketubah designed by Jennifer Raichman, by Jonas Seaman ]

2. Badeken
The second is called the badeken and it happens straight after the ketubah signing. It’s a short but meaningful ritual where the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil. It’s a custom that derives from the biblical account of Jacob’s first marriage, when he was deceived to marry the heavily veiled Leah instead of Rachel, his intended bride. I’ve heard that some egalitarian couples are now balancing this tradition by having the bride place a kippah (yarmulke) on her bridegroom’s head too!

The badeken is often emotionally charged as the bride and groom may not have seen each other for 24 hours or longer (as much as 7 days) until this moment.

[ Image: My badeken at my wedding to Jeremy by Earthy Photography ]

3. Chuppah
Now it’s time for the wedding party to enter the main ceremony area where all the guests are seated. They make their way towards the focal point of the ceremony – a canopy held up by four poles known as the the chuppah.

The chuppah represents the shelter and privacy of the home that the bride and groom will create following their marriage. The home is central in Jewish life – it is the place where we grow up, learn to share and love, and from which we also secure our independence. You will see that the bride and groom stand at the centre of it, and the walls are formed by those closest to them. Just as the walls of our home protect us from the elements, offering warmth and security, so too the ‘walls’ of the chuppah – that is our families and friends – provide support and strength with their love.

The bride follows the groom towards the chuppah, and both are usually escorted by their respective sets of parents.

The custom of the bride circling the bridegroom seven times has been interpreted as the symbolic building of a wall of love around the relationship of the bride and groom. Seven represents the most sacred of all numbers in Judaism and also symbolises the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.

Again, some more modern couples choose to update this ritual by circling around each other three times and then a final figure of eight. Chelm and Jake did this in their fabulously personal Jewish wedding.