Converting to Judaism Archives - Smashing the Glass

What to Expect When Marrying In

28/09/2017 by Smashing The Glass

Jackie & Jon’s Chinese-Jewish Wedding by York Place Studios

Until recently, a Jewish person marrying a non Jew would have been seen as marrying ‘out’. But it’s 2017, and, fortunately, new attitudes to mixed marriages have begun to pervade past messages. Now, rather than the Jewish partner marrying ‘out’, the non-Jewish partner often feels like they have married ‘in’.

If this applies to you, and you’re not sure what to expect from joining your new Jewish family, we’ve written a handy guide on how to handle the transition to honorary Jew.

Expect to be treated with varying degrees of curiosity

Reactions will be widely varied and are likely to rely on a number of factors, such as generational differences, levels of observance and so on. While it is possible that you may encounter resistance from some relatives, it’s also likely that you will simply be treated with curiosity, and indifference if you’re not the first non-Jewish partner in the family, maybe even a few ill-judged circumcision jokes (start practicing your best nervous laugh).

The most important thing is to speak to your partner about what to expect from different family members, and to approach the most supportive and liberal family members first, so that they can support you in meeting the others.

Yvonne & Craig’s Jew-ish Wedding by Babb Photo

Some cultural differences

You may spend your first few Friday night dinners or Jewish holidays trying to wrap your head around why everyone is arguing all the time, particularly if they’re speaking Hebrew!

We’re a very direct, very animated bunch – sometimes what sounds like the row to end all rows is barely so much as a squabble, just a lively disagreement that will be forgotten in all of thirty seconds, if that, so try not to stress unless plates are broken and people are crying.

Kidding – that probably won’t happen… probably.

Another cultural difference is that your business will become everyone else’s business – and people will be very direct in giving you unsolicited life advice. Smile politely, say “thanks, I’ll look into that” and then continue as you were.Continue Reading

Real Jewish Brides – Hayley: Finally Jewish… and the Final Countdown!

29/08/2017 by Smashing The Glass

Hayley will be marrying Ashley on 17th September 2017 at El Cortijo De Los Caballos in Spain.

THREE FACTS: (1) Hayley & Ashley met on Tinder (2) Ashley proposed with a Haribo ring (after which he pulled out the actual engagement gem!) (3) Hayley is converting to Judaism to marry Ashley.

Officially Jewish!

Yay! I’m officially Jewish!! I had my Mikveh on the Monday which I can honestly say I left feeling refreshed and just different, I can’t explain but a good feeling of different!

The Thursday came around very quickly and off I went to the Liberal Beit Din. I loved everything about it! I felt Ashley was more nervous then I was but I had three fantastic Rabbi’s talk to me and ask me all different questions about Judaism and my essays. What was meant to be fifteen minutes long, ran fifteen minutes late! I literally did not stop talking!

I then left the room for the rabbis to make a decision, I came back into the room with Ashley. I was then explained that I was officially accepted into Judaism. Happy was an understatement! I have worked so hard to become Jewish and I can say that I genuinely feel Jewish. I have a lot of Ashley’s (now mine) friends to thank for my constant texting and having to answer all my Jewish questions especially Amy!

Chuppah from Jade & Adam’s Jewish Wedding on Smashing The Glass

A Cultural-Fusion Chinese-Jewish (Chewish) Wedding with a Vera Wang Bride at Kew Gardens, London, UK

21/04/2017 by Karen

There’s something so special about Jew-ish weddings. Each one symbolises not only a relatively rare coming together of cultures, but a totally unique interpretation of what that combination looks like in practice. We have yet to see two Jew-ish weddings that are the same – there’s no blueprint and the couple has total license to imprint their own ideas, personalities and elements of their relationship into the proceedings.

Jackie and Jon’s Chinese-Jewish (Chewish) wedding was a delightful cultural fusion, taking the most meaningful, colourful and exciting traditions from both the bride and the groom’s respective backgrounds and merging them into one heartfelt super-celebration.

Bride, Jackie, stole the show in her red-carpet worthy gown from Vera Wang‘s White Collection, which is an impressive feat in a botanical paradise venue like Kew Gardens.

All the details, including a full stationery suite, created by the talented bride herself, were captured with nothing less than expert skill by the phenomenal York Place Studios. A family business, York Place Studio is a cherished Smashing Supplier and responsible for not only the images in today’s post, but also the divinely emotional wedding video at the bottom of this post (SO worth a watch).

The Smashing family was out in full force at Jackie and Jon’s big day. Sensational Smashing Supplier, Shir, one of the UK’s most sought-after klezmer wedding bands, also made a much-acclaimed appearance, before Creation Show Band also performed a roof-raising set. We have it on good authority that Anna Phoebe’s back-bending dancefloor electric violin solo was also an unmissable experience!

We’ll pass you on to Jackie now who has written up all the exceptionally borrow-able and emotional details of her and Jon’s big day. Enjoy!

How we met

Jackie, the bride: Jon is a management consultant and I’m a designer. We were introduced on a netball court in New York City, when we both lived there six years ago. While I had been there for seven years, Jon was on a work/study program with 300 other Brits for a year. The week Jon left for England for good, coincidentally, my work sent me to London. We then spent a phenomenal amount of money flying across the Atlantic to visit each other for the following eight months, before Jon persuaded me to move over to London.

A Texas-meets-Jewish knees up wedding with pie on Pi Day at Hyatt Regency La Jolla, San Diego, California, USA

20/01/2017 by Karen

Yeeehaw! Get ready for a cool cultural collision you just don’t see every day.

Taylor and David were best friends for several years before a fateful kiss after a West Wing marathon prompted them to realise what had been right in front of them all along.

Their Texas-meets-Jewish wedding, captured by husband-and-wife photography team, Shane and Lauren Photography, was planned specifically to fall on March 14^th, a.k.a. Pi Day.

Pi, a number that goes on indefinitely, was the perfect choice to echo Jewish wedding traditions, such as the breaking of the glass under the Chuppah with the sentiment “may your marriage last as long as it would take to repair this glass” (forever). We reckon the idea is a must-steal for math-loving Jewish couples everywhere!

In keeping with the Pi theme, the couple served… you guessed it – pie! Mini pies in mason jars were served for dessert and the couple cut an apple pie instead of a wedding cake. In fact, good luck reading this entire post without getting hungry – if you manage it, you’ve done better than the Smashing the Glass team.

To honour San Diego’s growing craft beer scene, they also had an epic beer bar and gave out koozies (fabric sleeves designed to keep a drink warm, for any non-Texan natives out there) as favours.

Over to Taylor to take us through all the details of her and David’s big day…

From best friends to husband and wife

Taylor, the bride: David and I met in law school. We were both student representatives for Kaplan Bar Review and got to know each other better by working there. I graduated school and then came back two years later to work in San Diego for Kaplan Bar Review in a full-time position. He was in his last year of school and was still a student representative and we reconnected.

We were best friends for over a year and a half with no romantic involvement. I dated other guys (that he knew), he dated other girls (that I knew) but no spark was there.

Then, eventually, something changed. A few days after Valentine’s Day in 2013, we were both single (him very newly so having just broken up with a long-distance girlfriend) and hanging out at his house watching The West Wing and we kissed.

We became even more inseparable after that day, got a dog named Bartlett (named after the president on The West Wing), and got married a little over two years later.

A chilled out backyard Jewish wedding at the bride’s childhood home in Cleveland, Ohio, USA

25/11/2016 by Karen

When bride Andria met her handsome groom Ilya after a Tinder date that almost didn’t happen, she was so taken with him that she still remembers everything he wore on that ultimately fateful day. Hey, when you know, you know, right?

Despite being one of the most laid back brides to ever grace the Smashing pages, Andria’s gorgeous backyard wedding is full of beautiful, natural and rustic details captured wonderfully by photographers Zeefoto. The couple married in Andria’s parents’ backyard and stuck to a rustic vintage theme. With just three months between the engagement and the wedding, the family went all out, re-doing the entire lawn and planting new flowers, even bringing in sandstone for that Israeli-meets-magical-woodland feel.

At Smashing the Glass, we love it when a wedding includes rare aspects of Jewish culture. The groom, Ilya, is Bukharian. For those who don’t know, Bukhari Jews are originally from central Asia and speak a rare dialect of the Tajik-Persian language. The result of two Jewish cultures fusing is always awesome, and the little touches – the Bukharian band and the eight-course meal (yes, you read that correctly – what would a Jewish wedding be without an extraordinary amount of food?) really made this wedding something special.

It’s worth mentioning that the couple insisted on having vodka on the tables – we admire their spirit (sorry, sorry…)!

Perhaps the loveliest detail of all was Andria’s chilled-out attitude. From absolutely embracing her Jewfro (high five all the Jewfros out there) to wearing her wonderful mother’s veil and a precious symbolism-laiden family heirloom as jewellery, Andria’s approach was all heart, no fuss.

Just you wait until you read Andria’s moving words about her mother (here, have a tissue – you’ll need it).

How we met

Andria, the bride: Ahhhh, those were the days. So, Ilya and I matched on Tinder except he never said anything to me for six months. He then saw me numerous times out but none of my friends would give him my number since they said I was moving. Then three months before I was leaving to make Aliyah (the process of diaspora Jews moving to Israel) I got a random phone call on October 20 at 5:38 PM from this boy named Ilya. We went on our first date a week later. Ilya was wearing Timberlands, jeans, a grey Cleveland Browns t-shirt (we were watching the game), a red flannel, puffy vest and a black scarf. I told him 15 minutes into the date that if he either of us didn’t vibe with one another we shouldn’t waste our time. We sat at the pub for four and a half hours. I knew the second I saw him he was the one. I still, to this day, get butterflies sometimes. He’s so special and I’m grateful every day to be his wife.