Advice Archives - Smashing the Glass

My advice to you as we close out 2020

24/12/2020 by Karen

Image: John Nassari

If you could travel with your love and get married just the two of you in a magical setting right now, would you?

It could be tempting, but then tomorrow you might feel completely differently and want that big celebration for 200 loved ones, and a Hora so crowded your dress gets trampled on, and your face glistens with sweaty glee!

Such a tough time – and you must allow yourself to feel however you’re feeling.

And no one can tell you what that feeling should be.

You’re allowed to feel sad, lost, excited or anything else on the scale of Coronacoaster emotions.

Then take a deep breath and remember that the reality this pandemic is awakening some of us to, is that life DOES throw us curveballs.

How we manage them is a benchmark for how we manage life.

The current moment is a real test for us to find out how flexible we can be, and how we can manage, at a time when our lives are so deeply disrupted.

Managing the uncertainty

Times of uncertainty make us feel incredibly disempowered – and that’s not how anyone wants to feel.

Under normal circumstances, being a bride- or groom-to-be is often a very empowering experience – we get to make plans to create the day of our dreams, and while all that choice can be overwhelming, it’s also exhilarating.

Now, the situation has been flipped on its head. It feels like everything’s been taken out of our control as we’re forced to radically reimagine what our weddings might look like.

Adding insult to injury, a lot of us are also facing financial struggles we’d never have imagined.

A shift in perspective

To regain a sense of control and empowerment in your life – and your wedding plans – it will take a shift in perspective. And coming to terms with what we can and cannot control at this time is in itself an act of empowerment.

The silver lining in all of this? Life’s not going to stop throwing those curveballs, and dealing with them as a team is a skill you’ll need to have in your toolbox throughout your life together as a couple.

Learning to work together with your partner to get through a crisis sooner rather than later can only set your marriage up for success.

I hope you’re feeling ok. I have opened up my Brides Club for you to benefit from it for free for 30 days if you feel you need advice or someone to chat to. Just click here and you’ll be inside in moments.

Wishing you so much love and endless amounts of only good things.

Love Karen x

How to Stay Calm in an Era of Uncertainty {Tips from Psychotherapist Pam Custers}

02/04/2020 by Karen Cinnamon

If you’ve got a wedding in the works, chances are you’re pretty worked up right now. Even if you’re not facing the possibility (or reality) of having to postpone the day you’ve spent months or years planning for, this is a rough time for everyone.

Because a lot of us are struggling with anxiety right now, last week we brought amazing psychotherapist Pam Custers into our Brides Club to talk us through navigating the Coronavirus crisis as an engaged couple. She and I went live on Facebook and talked about why the current situation is so frightening and what we can do to stay calm. Pam’s generous advice was so helpful I didn’t want to limit it to just our Brides Club members, so I’m sharing her plan of action in this post.

Read on for an action plan from Pam.

1. Accept That Life Throws You Curveballs

The harsh reality this pandemic is awakening some of us to, according to Pam, is that life throws us curveballs. How we manage them is a benchmark for how we manage life.

The current moment is a real test for us to find out how flexible we can be, and how we can manage, at a time when our lives are so deeply disrupted. Times of uncertainty make us feel incredibly disempowered – and that’s now how anyone wants to feel.

Coronavirus (COVID-19): What to Do If Your Wedding’s Coming Up Soon

17/03/2020 by Karen Cinnamon

Where there’s a will there’s a way: this awesome couple got around Israel’s current 10-person limit on gatherings by getting married in a supermarket, one of the few spots where more people are permitted to gather! Big props to this duo, whose wedding is featured in all the images in this post, and their photographer, Meir Lavi.

If you’re getting married in the next few weeks, or even months, you’re no doubt consumed with coronavirus wedding concerns.

I know some of you are facing some really tough decisions right now about whether to postpone your weddings, or else potentially face drastically reduced guest lists.

If postponing seems like a good option for you (and only you and your family can decide that – it’s a very personal decision), contact your venue and vendors to see if there is a backup date that works, and find out when you need to make a final decision. Get this in writing and make a note of the date by when you need to make a final decision.

To Postpone or Not to Postpone?

What are some reasons postponing might be especially worth considering?

As of the writing of this post, the latest US guidelines call for avoiding groups of more than 10 people through at least the end of March, with CDC guidelines calling for Americans to cancel or postpone events for more than 50 people through early May. So unless you’re down for a hyper-intimate ceremony (which is an option not to be discounted – see below for more on this), if you’re planning to get married in the US this spring your decision will likely have been made for you.

Same if you’ve been planning a wedding in Italy, where non-essential travel and gatherings of over 100 people are banned at least until April 3 (and likely longer).

If your wedding is set for somewhere with less stringent guidelines at present, you’ll want to consider whether you’ve got lots of guests traveling from abroad, who may very possibly be unable or unwilling to make the trip under the circumstances. You’ll also want to consider elderly, immunocompromised, and otherwise at-risk guests – if you have many on your list, or if their numbers include any VIPs you can’t see yourself getting married without, postponing may be your best bet.

Now and Later

There remains the option to have a small ceremony now – civil and/or religious – and hold the big celebration until things are calmer. This can literally be the two of you, an officiant, and two witnesses, or it can be an intimate gathering of just a handful of your very closest family and friends.

Some of our STG Brides Club members have done exactly this, opting to have a civil wedding followed by a small lunch or dinner now, and a Jewish ceremony at a later date when more guests will be able to celebrate with them. This way, they can still celebrate (and, you know, actually be married!) on their original wedding date. If you go this route, you can even livestream the ceremony to those who can’t attend in person if you like!

Now is the time to think out of the box, and to stay focused on what really matters – like the awesome Israeli couple pictured in the photos throughout this post did.

To get around Israel’s current restrictions on gatherings of more than 10 people, they opted to hold their Jewish wedding in a supermarket, one of the few spots where larger crowds are allowed to congregate! Is this the wedding these two thought they’d be having three months ago? Almost certainly not. But is it just as special and beautiful as the most luxe of weddings we see in non-pandemic times? Absolutely.

Coronavirus and Your Wedding Plans – How Smashing The Glass Can Help

14/03/2020 by Karen

If you’re getting married in the next few weeks, or even months, you’re no doubt currently consumed with coronavirus wedding concerns.

I’ve just recorded a Facebook Live (above) with some top tips of what you can do right now if you’re thinking about postponing your wedding, or potentially facing a drastically reduced guest list.

We’re having so many #CoronaConversations inside Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club about the impact of Coronavirus on our wedding plans, and I have individually answered a lot of those questions inside the Smashing The Glass Brides Club members-only Facebook group.

Tomorrow, Sunday March 15, I am also hosting a live Zoom call for Brides Club members to solve all their wedding planning issues, however big or small / struggles / questions / concerns / and with Coronavirus threatening to impact so many of our wedding plans, this is a great way for me to talk to you 1:1 about anything you’re worried about concerning the impact.

Let’s get it solved for you, and let’s get an action plan in place.

I have opened up free 30 day places inside Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club once more, so that you can all benefit from the Corona chat and handling your plans at this stressful time, so do click below for free for 30 days, and let’s alleviate some of the stress.

>> JOIN SMASHING THE GLASS’ BRIDES CLUB FOR FREE

I will also be bringing in a Psychotherapist for a mini segment on Coronavirus and anxiety during this Sunday’s call, as we know it’s affecting our anxiety levels, as well as our wedding plans.

The bottom line is, Coronavirus or no, you’re going to have an AMAZING wedding – even if it may look a little different than it did prior to the pandemic – and I’m here to help ensure that happens.

How to handle overwhelm + stress during wedding planning {with Howard Cooper and Blake Ezra}

16/05/2019 by Karen Cinnamon

Planning a wedding is exciting, there’s no question about that. But it can also be stressful – from dealing with family drama and pressure along the way to feeling less than comfortable being the center of attention on the big day, there are so many elements that can be anxiety-provoking.

Usually we focus on the fun and meaningful aspects of a wedding, and while those are always front of mind for us, the truth is there are a lot of difficult issues wedding planning can bring out (and that’s one of the big reasons why I started Smashing The Glass’s bride-to-be community, Brides Club – a safe space for everyone to be open and honest about the real ups and downs of the engaged life.).

Meaningful conversations, and talking about mental health and weddings are so important – and that’s what I’m so excited to be chatting live with one of my favorite Jewish wedding photographers, and Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Blake Ezra, and Howard Cooper, one of Britain’s leading rapid change therapists, all about dealing with wedding anxiety.

Known for helping people to create rapid shifts in their thinking, Howard’s rapid change approach rejects the notion that deep and lasting change needs to take a long time. Drawing on a variety of psychological tools, Howard has supported thousands of individuals over the past 15 years on an international level, bringing about transformational changes to their lives. A specialist in helping people tackle fears and phobias, Howard uses a practical, dynamic and innovative approach to help people from all walks of life and ages.

With over 150 Jewish weddings under his belt (many of which have appeared here on Smashing The Glass) plus a BA (Hons) in Hebrew and Jewish Studies, Blake has a deep understanding of the traditions and rituals of a Jewish wedding and the ways brides, grooms, and families tend to respond to the unique dynamics a Jewish (or Jew-ish) wedding can bring out.