Real Jewish Bride Archives - Page 41 of 42 - Smashing the Glass

Real Jewish Brides: Less then 3 months to go… and I’m still obsessed with lists

21/08/2016 by Smashing The Glass

Lists. Emails. Research. Repeat. This is my current mantra as I pass the 3 month mark. The first To-Do List I wrote was appropriately titled “A Big List”. In it contained tasks, comments and follow-up actions of what I thought, was everything I needed to think about and arrange in the lead up to the wedding.

Since then, that list has expanded, contracted and developed appendices. Why oh why did Netflix have to screen Gilmore Girls now? Ddon’t they know how long it takes to proofread addresses and invitation artwork? Why do people tell you once the “big things” are done, the rest falls into place? The big things are the easy part. It’s the finer details that test your decision-making capabilities, ignite a creative spark you never knew you had and challenge your emotional resistance.

This month, I’ve ticked off a little bit of everything- invitations, menus, lighting, flowers, religious traditions and fashion and it’s been great fun!! I’ve certainly received an education when it comes to stationery. I used Etsy, and Style Me Pretty to kick-start my imagination and quite quickly came up with a modern and elegant design for the main invitation.

Linda Abrahams, the stationery supplier I used, was really enthusiastic and focused on delivering this design and so I set my objective: let’s get this done and dusted! As numerous versions of the design were emailed back and forth with comments and amendments, it became very clear that the only way to reach the final draft stage was to get specific with the details.

I had no idea about card weights, types of personalisation and envelopes…surely your guests don’t judge your invitation on the quality of the envelope it comes in? It goes straight in the bin! But, I confess…I spent at least four hours, avoiding the treadmill, trying to make this decision. I was guided with beautiful samples of card weights and tutored in the topic of table plan versus escort cards. And so the final draft was approved and I could tick it off the list! My lesson outcome: Study the options and start stationery early.

To DIY or not to DIY? That is the wedding question…

14/08/2016 by Smashing The Glass

During my adult life I can remember going to various weddings and seeing the table decorations and thinking that when I get married I am going to do that all myself. As a self-confessed craft addict I had dreams of a trip to a flower market the day before the wedding and a nice and easy day of making beautiful flower arrangements for the tables. This was all ‘pie in the sky’ thinking before I really understood what work it takes to get a wedding together.

When my closest friends got married about 4 years ago, they often told me how stressed they were with just having to decide what flowers they wanted, what napkin colour to choose and if it rains what would they do with the Chuppah?! I just kept thinking that if I ever got the chance to have a wedding I wouldn’t need to worry about all that stuff as I would have it all planned in my head and know exactly what I would want and then go and do it all myself in my own hand made style… How wrong was I?!

There are many reasons people want to craft their own wedding. I’d say for me, hand-making things for our big day would mean that the day is that bit more personal and special, but for many it is also a money saving method. If you are like me and you like to do your crafting properly or not at all, then it is definitely not a money saving method!

Image: Most Curious Wedding Fair by Oh Squirrel

You can often spend more on the materials that you use than you would if you were paying someone to do it for you. I have also seen some stressed out brides who have a very tight grip on all elements of their wedding, delegate very little and then end up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed on their big day. I don’t want to be like that. I have never been very good at delegating; I much prefer to have control of everything. But increasingly since we got engaged I have realised that this is just not possible, especially with the demands of every day life.

During the early stages of planning I grudgingly had to accept that there are some things I can do and some things I can’t, but we can still have our own personal touch on the day. So long as I choose the right suppliers! The first thing I had to decide was what could I do myself. I looked down the list of things to do and picked out things I’d either really like to do or thought I could do successfully ahead of time and not be left doing the day before the wedding. So I came up with a handmade list. Favours. Signage. Table names. Place cards. Table plan. Chuppah.

The one thing that I really wanted to do was our invitations. My grandfather was a sign writer and brilliant calligrapher and recently I have been trying to learn a little bit about modern calligraphy in the hope that I could be half as good as he was. I also thought that this would be a lovely way of incorporating my grandfather into the wedding when he (along with my maternal grandfather) would be sorely missed from the day. I had taken part in a couple of workshops for modern calligraphy and brush lettering at Quill London and really hoped that I could get my skills up to scratch in time. To be fair to myself, they aren’t that bad, but I was not confident enough to do such a big task and I knew that I would never truly be happy with it if I did them myself.

Finding ‘the one’ – my thoughts on the wedding dress industry from a 5 ft 3, size 12 bride

07/08/2016 by Smashing The Glass

Say Yes to the Dress is not an accurate portrayal of wedding dress shopping, nor is that episode in Friends where they all go home with a perfectly fitting dress and drink beer together…. that’s what I’ve learnt. Below is a true account of my dress shopping experience — no large black pegs were used in the making of it.

Unsure of where to start, my friend Tanya, who got engaged around a similar time to me, recommended a bridal shop in Essex as a great starter shop. They stock loads of different styles and she said I would be able to really filter out what I liked and didn’t like, so I took her advice and started the hunt there.

On a delightfully dull Saturday morning, my mum, sister and mum-in-law to be set off into the depths of Essex filled with excitement. I had visions of grandiose changing rooms, champagne, plush carpets and bright lights…oh how quickly I learnt that that was not the case. I entered a world of total and utter overwhelmingness. There were so many dresses I literally didn’t know where to start.

The lady who served us was lovely and explained the different styles and I gave her my budget. I decided to try on a range of styles as I literally had no clue. After selecting the dresses we were taken to the ‘dressing room’ which was a tiny, narrow room with a curtain at one end and just enough seats for everyone. It was essentially a broom cupboard. We weren’t offered a drink and I could feel my mouth becoming drier as I became more overwhelmed by it all.

At this point I should mention that I am 5ft3 and a size 12. Wedding dresses, unbeknown to me are made for 6ft tall, size 8 people. This was the start of what was quite frankly an exhausting, and at times depressing wedding dress shopping extravaganza that lasted about a month.

To sum up my first wedding dress shop experience, I look like a bowling pin in large ball gown dresses, mermaid style are near on impossible to walk in, and trying to picture yourself on the happiest day of your life with a woman standing behind you attempting to hold you in, do not scream out the romantic, wonderful experience I had imagined.

The second shop on the list (same day I might add, and I recommend you don’t do that, it was exhausting) was still in Essex and I had decided to go because they stocked a designer I liked. This wedding dress shop, amazingly, was worse than the first. Not only did they not have a toilet (we were instructed that the Pie & Eel shop next door were happy for us to use theirs) but there were no private changing rooms. I had to come out in an ill-fitting, ugly dress in the middle of shop with strangers staring at me! This is literally my idea of hell on earth.

The wedding diet was a non-starter at this point and quite frankly I do not love my body. I have lumps and bumps and my tummy sticks out. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this, least of all squeezed into a size 8 glittered up mermaid dress. I find it quite amazing that brides like me are forced to make decisions about the most important item of clothing they will ever buy when the thing doesn’t fit. How do I know if I will be comfortable in it for 11 hours when at this moment in time it is cutting my arm pit like razor blades and the zip hasn’t gone past by bum!

Real Jewish Brides: Introducing Dara + Alex… how they met to the present day

31/07/2016 by Smashing The Glass

Alex and I are in that small, but steadily increasing, minority of online dating success stories. Specifically, a match.com success story. After several email exchanges on match.com’s platform, we met for our first date on an unseasonably warm November evening. The first thing I noticed about Alex was his fantastic hair, sharp blue eyes, and a sense of humour that I fell in love with long before the appetizers were delivered to the table. Our first date was nothing but fun, lively, and hilarious. Which truly set the tone for our entire relationship… constant laughter.

The next day, following our first date, around lunch time, Alex called. Actually called, called, to tell me what a fantastic time he had, and how he’d love to see me again. And so it began. For the next six weeks, we met up once or twice a week for fantastically planned dates, Alex always following up with an actual phone call the afternoon following a date. That is, until the very last night of Chanukah 2014 rolled around. I told him (boldly, it took every ounce of courage) I didn’t want to date anyone else, only him. And he replied that he had stopped seeing other people after our first date, and was glad I was finally on his page (swoooooon).

Rachel Naft Photography

Dating Days

Once we were ‘officially’ together, the fun really began. It was a whirlwind of a romance. We spent so many weekends traveling to various cities across the country. We were both very serious about each other and the relationship from the get-go. Alex did a fantastic job of making that perfectly clear: he made me a key to his apartment, cleared out the second closest in his bedroom, and bought me a second set of toiletries to keep at his house – so I wouldn’t’ have to pack overnight bags — all within the first few weeks. By March, I was practically moved into his apartment — spending every night at his place until we hired movers in June. Was it fast? Sure. But when you know, you know.

Real Jewish Brides: Introducing Dawn + Harley… how they met to the present day

24/07/2016 by Smashing The Glass

In the summer of 2013, Harley and I both joined JDate. He was moving to South Florida by himself from Montreal and looking to make a connection, and I may have been a bit bored in graduate school looking for some Jewish romance! Although neither of us actually lived in Palm Beach County at the time (he still had a few more weeks in Montreal, and although I am originally from Palm Beach I had one more year of graduate school in North Florida), we both indicated that we were from the area and showed up in each other’s searches. We began messaging, Facebook-ing, texting, and Skype-ing (to ensure that neither one was a 60 year old cat lady) every day until we finally met on June 24th, 2013…just hours after he had officially moved to the United States!

Our first date consisted of eating “snowballs” at Jupiter Beach, and I later admitted that I probably would have done a lot more complaining about the sand burning my feet if we had known each other longer! I had to return to school in Jacksonville immediately after our date, but it would only be two days until we’d see each other again because Harley conveniently purchased a car from South Carolina and had to drive it back down to Florida.

He quickly passed the roommate/friend test by becoming an extension of our friend group that week and even going on “man dates” with my friend’s boyfriend while we were in class. Being the themed-party lover that I am, I wanted to make sure that Harley was able to properly celebrate his first Canada Day living in the United States. My friends and I surprised him with a celebration even William Shatner would envy. complete with Canadian beer, maple syrup, “ice fishing” in the sink with a Fischer Price toy fishing set, and a homemade version of “Pin the Antlers on the Moose.” I had officially won Harley over by throwing him his first ever surprise party, and so began our love story!