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Destination Wedding Etiquette

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Image by Susan Stripling  from Natasha and Jez’s Jewish destination wedding in the  South of France

This is a  guest post by Lisa Shiner

Like most little girls, when I dreamt of my wedding, I imagined myself as a princess. Not one of those modern-day braided-hair and frozen-storm-inducing Scandinavian ones — more the royal variety.

Even after years and countless weddings planned, I still believe in a version of that same dream. Admittedly, I no longer long for the fairytale, but do honestly believe that, for her wedding, every bride should be a princess.

But not in the way that you’re thinking…

Be thoughtful of  your guests

In an ideal world, the term “fairytale” could refer less to emulating royal affectations and more to embracing wedding etiquette fit for a queen. Certainly, it is your wedding and at the same time a perfect opportunity not to demand the royal treatment but rather bestow it. Family and friends who are investing their time and money to attend your destination wedding deserve to be listened to, honoured, respected and personally acknowledged.

Destination weddings are magical. Whether yours is set on a faraway beach paradise, an atmospheric desert location, or a spiritual site half a world away — destination weddings are woven from a complex fabric of families, emotions, circumstances, travel and sometimes even exhaustion. In trying to juggle these elements, it’s essential to keep a clear head and, equally importantly, keep the process enjoyable for both you and your future guests. As basic as this may sound, the best way of achieving this is by simply being thoughtful. Thoughtful of your own desires and requirement of course, this is after all your special day, but thoughtful also of the time, effort and expense which will inevitably be experienced by those who care for you and wish to be part of your special occasion.

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Image by Joy Marie Photography  from Starr and Jacques’ Jewish destination wedding in Palm Beach

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Debbie & Eyal | A Jewish Turkish lovebird-themed wedding, filled with colour, at The HAC (Honourable Artillery Company), London, UK

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It absolutely makes my day when I read that the couple who’s real wedding I’m putting together found their photographer via Smashing The Glass. That’s exactly what Debbie and Eyal did in order to discover the amazing Marianne Chua — and oh my goodness, aren’t Marianne images awesome?

Debbie and Eyal chose a really unusual theme… birds! They both adore our feathered friends so weaved them into their wedding stationery, their guestbooks, on top of their wedding cake, into their ‘nest’-style table centrepieces, and even as dancing props later on in the evening! Such an unexpected theme and so well-executed.

Not surprisingly with Debbie working in events, and Eyal being a theatre lighting designer, there’s a whole heap of personality and creativity flowing throughout the day. From the wedding logo of two birds, sketched by the bride, to their super fun wedding website, to the surprise song and dance performed by friends, to the highly personalised Jewish wedding ceremony punctuated by musical interludes, this W-Day is overflowing with individuality and character.

Debbie’s report is longer than average, there’s no denying it but it’s well worth an in-depth read. Perhaps gawp at the emotive imagery and then come back later for a proper sit down. I’ll admit that parts of Debbie’s report brought me to tears. It’s brilliantly written, straight from the heart, and she gives some of the best advice I’ve ever heard from a bride at the end of the post. An absolute must-read.

By pure coincidence, I also had the pleasure of meeting Debbie in the run-up to her wedding when I was giving a talk at Brides The Show last year. After the talk she came over for a chat to ask my advice on her big day. One of the things she wanted to know was how she could come up with an idea for a meaningful chuppah design. Well, without wanting to pat myself on the back, I must have said something right, as what Debbie and Eyal came up with couldn’t have been more perfect. It’s a great example of how your chuppah canopy can be one of the most meaningful and personal elements of your wedding day. I’ll let Debbie divulge the details — it’s so very special.

Oh, and the wedding film at the end of the post, by The Dreamcatchers is an absolute must-see too. So much love and happiness oozes out of it, I literally found myself gazing at it thinking how lucky I am to be able to watch this breathtaking film as part of my job. Don’t miss it!

Ok lovely Debbie, take it away…

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how we met

Debbie, the Bride: I was moving in with two friends, Alma and Shiri (my BridesMates!) who introduced me to Eyal. He helped us move into the flat actually. We were friends for a few months, and got together the day before he went off to South America for almost four months away. Timing! We thought we’d ‘pick up’ when he got back, but in fact we ended up Skype-ing, writing and essentially starting out as a couple. He returned in February 2013 and the rest was history.

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“My best Jewish wedding photo” by John Nassari

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A weekly Sunday series where  I ask some of the world’s best wedding photographers to pick out their favourite shot from their Jewish wedding portfolio. This week it’s the turn of  John Nassari.

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‘Energy’ by  John Nassari

It was so hard to choose my favourite Jewish wedding photo. My favourite picture always changes, depending on my mood, and also time. But I have chosen this one because it was from a very recent Jewish wedding and the party and Israeli dancing were  just magical.  I love the energy in this picture and perspective, I took it with a fish eye lens which exaggerated the wide angle distortion which I think really works in these sorts of contexts.

One of my favourites parts of this picture is that the perfect moment that the groom has been caught right in middle of the bright light. He has hit the ceiling and you can see his leg and hand on the ceiling! I love it that I am part of the photo, too. I was standing on the stage and there was a stage light behind me. My exaggerated, enormous shadow on the left makes me part of the scene. I love it that I hand held this without even looking through the viewfinder!”

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Carmel & Aviv | ‘love carnival in a green house’ DIY Jewish wedding at the groom’s rose farm, Northern Israel

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Carmel and Aviv knew that they wanted to make their wedding as personal to the two of them as they  possibly could, so  what could  be better then doing everything (and I mean everything!) themselves? Oh yes —  once these two had decided on a DIY W-day, it was full steam ahead, and then some. Get ready to admire what is probably one of the most DIY’d weddings I  have ever featured on Smashing The Glass. It truly gives new  meaning to the phrase,  ‘labour of love’.

For 6 months, this gorgeous pair made the drive every weekend from Tel Aviv, to the groom’s  family farm in Northern Israel to renovate an old greenhouse from the bone. They straightened the ground, laid  a concrete dance floor, and planted literally thousands of flowers and trees. (To give you an idea, they planted about 400 sunflowers in one field alone!).

And it didn’t stop there. Once the space was ready,  Carmel and Aviv made  everything themselves from  the decorations to the flags to the  signage, not to mention hand-crafting their  invitations, table numbers and place names. There was also  a flower booth on the day, with live flower weaving to decorate the guests. Genius.

The most personal thing they incorporated  though, was a wonderful heirloom — their chuppah canopy.  It has been used  in the groom’s family for two generations for every wedding in the family, and Aviv’s grandmother weaves the names of every  new couple into it. How magical is that?

A immense amount of time and effort has clearly gone into this incredible  wedding, so enjoy all the wonderful  details and get ready for some serious pinterest-induced mania! Both the bride and  the groom have written the report today, and why wouldn’t they when there was so much joint involvement with the wedding planning ? One of my favourite quotes from the groom  is:

Our wedding was full of happiness and love. We guess that when people see  how much love you’re putting into it, they return it with extra.”

I love that.

Their day is exquisitely photographed  by the super  talented  Shai Franco  and don’t miss the highlights film at the end by the equally accomplished  Shahar Lev.

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A Carolina Herrera bride and an Alexander McQueen groom for a Jewish Irish wedding at the Senate House Library, London, UK

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From the moment I started reading Francesca’s wedding report, it took all of five seconds for me to warm to this beautiful, sassy, witty woman. This really is one of the loveliest, and most entertaining, wedding reports I’ve read to date, so if you can spare five minutes to sit and read Francesca’s words as well as look at the stunning photography by Christian and Erica Ward I promise you, you’ll be inspired.

I can’t resist giving you a little snippet… Here’s how Francesca broke the news to her Jewish mother that she was dating Andrew, a non-Jewish guy:

When I told my mother that I was dating someone non-Jewish (the first time it had happened) and that it was serious, I softened her up first: “he’s not Jewish… but he is a tall, handsome trilingual rocket scientist!”. She agreed that my cost/benefit analysis was sound.”

Yes, what you’re about to see and read is truly special. This is how to do a super cool, super chic, interfaith wedding that blends traditions to perfection and oozes personality by the bucketload.

There are so many things I love about this wedding that I’d be here until midnight listing them all, but I will say that the table numbers and signs are old law reports that Francesca hand-painted (she’s a barrister), the confetti cones are made out of the Financial Times (Andrew works in finance), there’s an ‘Alhambra disco’ (Francesca will explain that later), an Irish harpist, and a traditional hora, personalised iced biscuits for each guest, and the most incredible invitations that perfectly symbolise the fusion of Francesca and Andrew through the art of paper-cut!

On the fashion front, there are the most exquisite pair of Harriet Wilde shoes, a Carolina Herrera dress (with a story and half to it), and a groom in an Alexander McQueen blue velvet tux… Need I say anymore? Over to the gorgeous Francesca.

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