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Real Jewish Brides – Hayley: My Conversion to Judaism

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Today on the blog it’s the 2nd post from Hayley who will be marrying Ashley on Sunday 17 September 2017, in a Jewish wedding at  at El Cortijo De Los Caballos in Spain

THREE FACTS: (1) Hayley & Ashley met on Tinder (2) Ashley proposed with a Haribo ring (after which he pulled out the actual engagement gem!) (3) Hayley is converting to Judaism to marry Ashley.

REAL-JEWISH-BRIDES
Converting to Judaism

The next chapter for me was I would need to convert to Judaism before our wedding on 17th September 2017 to make sure we could have the chuppah and the dancing on the chairs*. The process started by trying to locate a synagogue, which proves to be difficult if you live the wrong side of Brentwood! Ashley was told by one of his friends that his sister-in-law converted and the name of the synagogue, what was then called South Woodford Liberal Synagogue but which is now known as ELELS (East London and Essex Liberal Synagogue).

Our first meeting with Rabbi Richard Jacobi was Early February 2016. We met at the South Woodford Synagogue where I was asked a lot of questions including “Why I wanted to convert”? After our long hour and a half meeting I left feeling more puzzled then when I went in, Maybe the conversion wasn’t right for me after all?

We decided to attend shul weekly for about 3 weeks and then once again we met with Rabbi Richard to see how I was getting on attending Shul. Feeling slightly more relieved than last time I was again asked the same question “Why I wanted to convert”? I feel like I had answered the question sufficiently but again I was not given a start date for the Conversion to Judaism class. I felt slightly disheartened at this and kept asking Ashley why? 

Charlotte-Sex-and-the-city-Jewish
Charlotte from Sex and The City converted for her Jewish wedding to Harry…

Why do I want to convert?

The third and final meeting I was handed a sheet of paper and asked to write down my answer to that very question… “Why I wanted to convert” I wrote down everything I could think of and why this was important to both ashley and I. I completed it and handed it to Rabbi Richard, whom looked over it and next thing I was booked onto the conversion classes which started the following week, by this time it was March 2016. (Later I found out that Rabbi’s have a rule and want you to be completely sure, that’s why they ask you three times!)Continue ReadingContinue Reading

The legal requirements of a Jewish wedding ceremony in the UK

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legal-requirements-of-a-Jewish-wedding-ceremony

Granted  it’s  not the most exciting of topics, but one that definitely needs addressing, so thank you, Emily, for highlighting it! I asked  Emily  to provide me with an exact list of questions that she wanted answering and  then called upon the expertise of STG regular, the wonderful Rabbi Paul Glantz  to  shed light on the the legal requirements of a Jewish wedding ceremony in England, and the UK.

For any American readers, or brides holding  a  destination Jewish wedding in the USA, a post detailing  the legal requirements of a Jewish wedding in the USA will be up on the blog in he coming weeks  too.

farmhouse-wedding
Deborah & Hernan’s  Jewish wedding in a farmhouse.  See the full wedding here :: Image by York Place Studios

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Mikah & Alex | Brunch themed Jewish wedding with lots of personal touches (and a juggling rabbi!) at the Berkeley Oceanfront, NJ, USA

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Jewish Brunch Wedding at the Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel New Jersey 26
Who says weddings have to be afternoon or evening affairs? Late morning is absolutely open too–and  if your favourite meal of the day is brunch (like Mikah and Alex’s is) then you need look no further for inspiration for creating a really personal brunch wedding than right here.

And there are so many great reasons to serve brunch for your wedding food. It’s a great way to stick to your budget, a safe bet for picky eaters, and, hello…waffle bar!? And if you don’t think a brunch wedding can feel formal or special, Mikah and Alex’s w-day will totally prove you wrong. Grab your mimosa and ogle over Adia Photography’s gorgeous images, and watch out for some really fabulous touches like 14 different cakes for their table centrepieces (genius), ‘advice cards’ instead of a guest book, über-personal wedding favours, and best of all… a juggling rabbi!
Jewish Brunch Wedding at the Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel New Jersey B
HOW WE MET
Mikah, the Bride: Firstly, I have to say that since my friend’s Sarit & Ari’s wedding was posted on Smashing the Glass, I have followed your site religiously. I love it! Alex and I met online. In April 2010, I received an instant message from a law student on OKCupid. Alex listed one of his favourite books as Flowers for Algernon, and I was intrigued. At the time, I usually limited first dates to no more than 20 minutes. When Alex and I met in-person for tea a few weeks later in DuPont Circle, we had an immediate connection: not only did we go out for tea, he asked me out to dinner that same night, which I agreed to, and he walked me home. I always tell him that while the date was great, it was the fact that he grabbed my hand to hold it on the walk back to my apartment that made me swoon.
Jewish Brunch Wedding at the Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel New Jersey J

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Kim & Shay | 1920’s Inspired Israeli Wedding at Citrus, Even Yehuda, Israel

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Israeli Wedding at Citrus Even Yehuda Israel 16Today’s uber-stylish bride, Kim, was born in New Zealand to a non- Jewish family but has lived in Israel for the last 20 years. Kim says that she wanted to take the plunge and convert to Judaism for many years but never found the right time.

So a few years ago, having dated her then-boyfriend, Shay, for three years, they decided that they wanted to get married and that it was the right time for Kim to convert. She studied and converted at Beit Daniel in Tel Aviv and officially became Jewish in May 2011.

Being a wedding planner and designer Kim had a blast planning things. “Finally I could do things exactly how I wanted – the only problem was making up m mind – I have too many ideas!” Let’s see what she chose to do…
Israeli Wedding at Citrus Even Yehuda Israel 44
VENUE + THEME
Kim, The Bride: We got married at Citrus in Even Yehuda, Israel. I wanted a classic wedding and loving the 1920’s, I adored the way the venue was decorated in an elegant soft way that complimented the whole vision that I had for the day. We also chose this venue because it was new and I had never done a wedding there. I wanted something fresh – I have been in the wedding industry for over 10 years now and done weddings in so many venues I wanted it to feel special for me and really different.

It was a classic yet modern type of an affair and the decor included a lot of pot plants that created a softer natural look (and became great giveaways at the end of the night).
Israeli Wedding at Citrus Even Yehuda Israel 371920s Jewish Theme Wedding 1
A 1920s STYLED DRESS
My mother made my dress from a soft lycra type material with pearl button holes and a lace belt. I envisioned something simple and classic and I had seen a similar dress similar on a bride that I had worked with years before but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Lucky for me I could call upon my mother make it and I ended up with the perfect 1920’s styled dress! I matched a short net veil to the dress, and wore my grandmothers pearls to complete the look.

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Thinking of converting to Judaism? 5 questions to ask yourself before making the decision

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I am delighted to introduce a fabulous second guest post from Michele Schwartz, editor of The Modern Jewish Wedding, a popular website for Jewish/ interfaith couples and wedding planners.

Charlotte Harry Sex and the City
[image: Sex and the City via HBO.com]

“I know that game. I invented that game. So, they’re Rules Rabbis,”
Charlotte York Goldenblatt from Sex and the City.

It’s true.  When considering conversion to Judaism from another religion, whether for a wedding, or just because, rabbis will traditionally turn you away. Rabbis are known to test your commitment by saying “NO!” three times. Then it is up to you…

If you are considering converting for your ‘beshert’ (your meant to be), here are some questions that will be useful to ask yourself and your intended before taking the plunge.:

1. How do I know if Judaism is right for me?

You’ll know! I hate to sound trite–but, you’ll know. If you are pressured to convert or feel as if you must do so just to be married, then you should stop reading now and read my previous post on incorporating Jewish traditions into your interfaith wedding. However, if you are committed to having a Jewish home, raising your children Jewish and are intellectually curious about Judaism–then read on. The best place is to start is with curiosity.

  • Read, read and then read some more.
  • Attend services at several different local synagogues.
  • Take a class. Most congregations offer a weekly text study you can attend. You can also check out your local Jewish Community Centre or even a local university to find classes or lectures that spark your interest.

Kensington Roof Gardens Jewish Weding
[image: Lee Ann & Andre’s London wedding / Gavin Hart Photography]

2. Even if I don’t convert can I work Judaism into our marriage and home?

Absolutely. Most people begin the road to formal conversion after first experiencing life in a Jewish family, home or community. Jewish rituals don’t negate anything you were raised to believe. You can get married under the chuppah, you can participate in congregational services, learning and holiday celebrations, you can attend or host a Passover seder, you can light candles on Shabbat and enjoy a day of rest on Saturday. If nothing else feels right for you–learn a new recipe or two and eat Jewish soul food.
TUSCANY WEDDING
[image: Daphna & Godwin’s Tuscany wedding ]

3. How “Jewish” do I want to be?

There are lots of different flavours of Judaism. But no one is more Jewish than any other (despite what you might hear or think). You should try them all–and decide for yourself what feels right for you. Do you like traditional music and lots of Hebrew in your worship service? Do you want to belong to a community that keeps strictly kosher? Do you feel more comfortable in a setting where there are same-sex couples and no one frowns at ear piercings or tattoos? Judaism is a big tent–you have to find the most comfortable seat for yourself.

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