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Home > Advice + Planning > Jewish Wedding Rituals > Page 6

Preparation – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #1

19/09/2014 by Karen

Jewish Wedding Traditions
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 1 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

Over the course of the next nine weeks, Blake Ezra, one of our amazing Smashing Suppliers, will be examining the Jewish wedding traditions from morning to evening, explaining the key rituals that make Jewish (and Jew-ish) weddings so special as well as suggesting ways to personalise these traditions, and how to make them fit your individual requirements.

This will be a really useful series whether you’re planning a super-traditional wedding, an alternative or interfaith Jewish ‘I Do’, or you just want ideas for modernising the traditions to make them personal to you.

This week it’s all about preparation…

Jewish Wedding Traditions
Jewish Wedding Traditions

MORNING PREPARATION

In many ways, Jewish couples prepare for their wedding ceremony and celebrations just like anybody else. The morning could include getting made over, having a spot of breakfast with family and friends, or heading to the park for some fresh air before the craziness begins. More often than not, the preparation in many Jewish homes tends to involve platters of bagels, with the occasional power ballad being played on the stereo.

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A guide to the Jewish Wedding Ceremony and Order of Service under the chuppah

09/06/2014 by Karen

DEAR KAREN WEDDING Q3

Good question! Many wonderful traditions come together in a Jewish wedding ceremony and each one symbolises the beauty of the relationship of a husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and the Jewish people. Here’s my guide to everything you need to know – for more guidance and inspiration, be sure to sign up for Brides Club, our ultra-informative, always supportive members-only space for Jewish and Jew-ish brides.

Dvorit-and-Ollie-Hackney-Town-Hall
Dvorit and Ollie‘s Jewish wedding | Photo by Claudine Hartzel 

1. Signing of the Ketubah
To start with we have two short, but very important, rituals. The first is the signing of the ketubah. The ketubah is an ancient document —  a marriage contract of sorts — that specifies the groom’s commitments to the bride.  It is signed by two appointed Jewish witnesses, who must not be blood-related family members to the bride and groom.

Ketubot are often beautiful pieces of artwork that can be framed and displayed in the home.

Lucy-Joel-Chiswick-House-Gardens-London-UK
Lucy and Joel‘s Jewish wedding | Photo by Kate Swerdlow Photography

2. Badeken
The second is called the badeken and it happens straight after the ketubah signing. It’s a short but meaningful ritual where the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil. It’s a custom that derives from the biblical account of Jacob’s first marriage, when he was deceived to marry the heavily veiled Leah instead of Rachel, his intended bride. I’ve heard that some egalitarian couples are now balancing this tradition by having the bride place a kippah (yarmulke) on her bridegroom’s head too!

The badeken is often emotionally charged as the bride and groom may not have seen each other for 24 hours or longer (as much as 7 days) until this moment.

Jewish wedding Tzel Hadumim, Neot Kdumim, Israel_0015
Esther and Yoni‘s Jewish wedding | Photo by Ben Kelmer

3. Chuppah
Now it’s time for the wedding party to enter the main ceremony area where all the guests are seated. They make their way towards the focal point of the ceremony –  a canopy held up by four poles known as the the chuppah.

The chuppah represents the shelter and privacy of the home that the bride and groom will create following their marriage. The home is central in Jewish life — it is the place where we grow up, learn to share and love, and from which we also secure our independence. You will see that the bride and groom stand at the centre of it, and the walls are formed by those closest to them. Just as the walls of our home protect us from the elements, offering warmth and security, so too the ‘walls’ of the chuppah — that is our families and friends — provide support and strength with their love.

The bride follows the groom towards the chuppah, and both are usually escorted by their respective sets of parents.

The custom of the bride circling the bridegroom seven times has been interpreted as the symbolic building of a wall of love around the relationship of the bride and groom. Seven represents the most sacred of all numbers in Judaism and also symbolises the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.

Again, some more modern couples choose to update this ritual by circling around each other three times and then a final figure of eight. Chelm and Jake did this in their fabulously personal Jewish wedding. For more ideas on how to personalize Jewish wedding traditions, download our guide to the top 9 Jewish wedding traditions and ways to personalize them. 

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Phenomenal photography illustrating wedding rituals from around the world

08/11/2013 by Karen

My wonderful Smashing The Glass teammate, Sharon, found these incredible wedding images on National Geographic. They focus on wedding  ceremonies from around the world (some Jewish, some not) and the fascinating cultural influences on generations, in both modern and traditional ways. Feast your eyes on these…

A YEMENITE WEDDING
Yemenite Wedding
[image: Stephanie Sinclair]
Friends and family fete the 21 year old yemenite bridegroom (in the centre wearing a floral head scarf) at his wedding in the Old City of Sanaa, Yemen. In a country where nearly half the population lives on £1 a day, wedding expenses–which can exceed £3000–are prohibitive. Many couples pool resources and marry in groups.


A MORROCAN WEDDING
Moroccan Wedding
[image: Alexandra Boulat]
In the Atlas Mountains of Morocco,  Berber brides dress for a traditional  wedding that often includes four days of ceremonial rituals. In one of the rituals, brides purify themselves with water gathered from the local river.

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How much time do we allow for the Jewish Dancing section of our wedding?

11/09/2013 by Karen

DEAR KAREN WEDDING Q2
Hi MeLena

The hora  is one of my favourite parts of  a Jewish wedding – everyone that you love and care about dances around you, participating in your joy and celebration as you try not to fall off your flying thrones! I say live it up  but  I think the answer to how long for, depends on the type of guests that you’ve invited.

If it’s a predominantly Jewish crowd who have been to many Jewish weddings before your big day, they are going to throw themselves into it and probably want 30 minutes worth to work up a huge sweat and go wild! That could either be encompassed into all one set, or split into two sets of 15 minutes.

However, if there are going to be quite a few non-Jews who may have never experienced the Hora before than I think that a shorter set of  approximately 10 minutes is better as there won’t be quite the same vigour from every guest, and not everyone will have the confidence to throw themselves into the Jewish dancing the first time they experience it.

The great thing about an iPod playlist is that you can arrange say 30 minutes worth of hora dance music and just wind it down at any point if you feel the momentum is dropping or people are ready for a break. It’s definitely better to allow for more and give the ‘cut’ signal to the DJ if you feel like it’s time to stop.

In terms of your iPod Jewish music playlist, get the party rocking by checking out these cool alternative versions of Hava Nagila, the Hora and other Jewish Wedding music  and this one that collates the  best versions and remixes of  Hava Nagila.  There are loads of non-traditional versions to choose from that maybe better match your personality as a couple, or your wedding theme, than the traditional ‘fiddler on the roof’ style versions. Listen to them all , take your pick, and have a wonderful Jewish wedding music set!

Karen x


Do you have a wedding-related question that you’d like me to answer in Dear Karen? Either email me or leave it in the comments section below. I look forward to hearing from you!

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The best non-traditional versions of ‘Hava Nagila’

11/09/2013 by Karen

The traditional  ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ style versions of Hava Nagila    are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, so why not choose a more original and fun variety for  your Jewish wedding playlist?

Choose a Hava Nagila (or ‘Have-a-tequila’!) that you feel reflects you both or fits the theme of your wedding.  Below I’ve sourced everything from a Cuban style version to American Jazz to Beach Party to Techno style renditions. And further down the page there’s some awesome YouTube versions to watch by Bruce Springsteen, Neil Diamond, a Bollywood Hava Nagila, and a few more spectacles!

HAVA NAGILA BY  ALEX M vs. MARC VAN DAMME
Listen

A techno version of Hava Nagila that will get the party *pumping*!
Hava Nagila Techno

HAVA NAGILA BY  THE BARRY SISTERS
Listen

Hava Nagila with a  40s American jazz twist
Havana Nagila AMERICAN JAZZ

HAVA NAGILA BY  TERRA FOLK
Listen

Hava Nagila with an Irish folk band twist.
Havana Nagila Terra Folk

HAVA NAGILA BY  HAVANA GILA
Listen

Hava Nagila in a Salsa/Cuban fusion style. Very classy!
Havana Nagila

HAVA NAGILA BY  JOE BROWN
Listen

A bluesy version of Hava Nagila that starts slow and then really kicks in
Hava Nagila Joe Brown

HAVA NAGILA BY  MUNICIPALE BALCANICA
Listen

Hava Nagila with a Balkan Gypsy twist
Hava Nagila Balkan Gypsy Twist

HAVA NAGILA BY SCOTT WILSON
Listen

Hava Nagila with a Middle Eastern guitar twang!
Hava Nagila Guitar

 

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