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Real Jewish Brides: Alexandra on Ceremony Plans

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Alexandra will be marrying Ian in May 2022 at La Corte Dei Messapi in Ostuni, Puglia, Italy. Click here to read all Alexandra’s planning posts to date.

THREE FACTS: THREE FACTS: (1) Alexandra and Ian are planning an intimate black-tie destination wedding for 60 of their nearest and dearest in Puglia, Italy. (2) Alexandra is Jewish, and Ian is in the process of converting to Judaism. (3) Alexandra is a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!

Planning a wedding is never easy even in the best of times let alone during a pandemic! As you might know we had to reschedule our May, 10th, 2020 wedding. We are now planning for May 2022. This shift has made us rethink when we would get civilly married. Originally our plan was to do it ourselves shortly before we went to Italy for the wedding. Now that our wedding has been moved we want to do a small civil ceremony with our families. We are now left with some questions about what we want the ceremony to look like and when we should have the event. 

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Real Jewish Brides: Alexandra on New Hobbies

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Alexandra will be marrying Ian in May 2021 at La Corte Dei Messapi in Ostuni, Puglia, Italy. Click here to read all Alexandra’s planning posts to date.

THREE FACTS: THREE FACTS: (1) Alexandra and Ian are planning an intimate black-tie destination wedding for 60 of their nearest and dearest in Puglia, Italy. (2) Alexandra is Jewish, and Ian is in the process of converting to Judaism. (3) Alexandra is a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!

I am a person who was constantly on the move when things were open. There is nothing I love more than running from a movie to a museum to dinner. Just spending the day sitting in my apartment made me nervous to think about, let alone do. I did not like ever being tied down to a space, and when the quarantine began, I was honestly terrified. How was I going to spend all of my time indoors!?
 
So I did what I usually do — I began to research. But instead of looking for something to do out in the city, I was looking for what to do in my home. During this period, I also had to come to grips with the lack of control I now felt with the pandemic and moving the wedding. I needed to take control of the things I could. 

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Real Jewish Brides: Alexandra On how she spent her Original Wedding Date

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Alexandra will be marrying Ian in May 2021 at La Corte Dei Messapi in Ostuni, Puglia, Italy. Click here to read all Alexandra’s planning posts to date.

THREE FACTS: THREE FACTS: (1) Alexandra and Ian are planning an intimate black-tie destination wedding for 60 of their nearest and dearest in Puglia, Italy. (2) Alexandra is Jewish, and Ian is in the process of converting to Judaism. (3) Alexandra is a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!

When I first sent out the email about postponing the wedding I was sort of zen about it. I realized that this is how things had to be and that we would have an amazing wedding next May (it now may be May 2022 depending on how things pan out virus wise). The zen quickly wore off and I was crying over Swedish pancakes at my parents’ house a few days later. What can I say – it’s a process!

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Can You Postpone a Jewish Wedding Because of Coronavirus?

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Jewish-Wedding-Essendon-Country-Club-UK
Rabbi Paul Glantz officiating Laura and Gio’s wedding

We’ve been hearing that some of our STG Brides Club members have been getting pushback from friends and family when discussing the hard decision to postpone their Jewish wedding due to COVID-19.

You may even be getting messages from well-intentioned loved ones that it’s forbidden by Jewish law to push back your wedding date. But chances are, the people giving you flack about postponing are struggling to give you a solid reason for their objections.

So we wanted to clear things up for you once and for all. We chatted with our resident expert in all things Jewish law, Rabbi Paul Glantz (who has officiated many beautiful STG real weddings),  and he says it’s 100% fine to postpone a Jewish wedding.

It’s absolutely fine to postpone a Jewish wedding for Covid-19

Although it’s true that there’s a strong custom not to postpone under normal circumstances, it’s just that: a custom. There’s absolutely nothing in halacha (Jewish law) prohibiting it. While some very strict rabbis are taking the stance that, even amidst the pandemic, Jewish weddings shouldn’t be postponed, it’s important to know that that’s a very strict interpretation. 

Rabbis who are advising couples to avoid postponing may be relying on the tradition of not delaying joyous events – which, while a strong theme in Jewish law, absolutely does not override the stronger principle of pikuach nefesh, the idea that the preservation of human life takes priority over just about all other Jewish laws and customs. Given the danger of gatherings at this time, it’s pretty clear that by waiting to hold your wedding until the pandemic has receded, you are honoring pikuach nefesh – and there’s not much more Jewish than that!

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Real Jewish Brides: Alexandra On Postponing her Wedding

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Alexandra will be marrying Ian in May 2021 at La Corte Dei Messapi in Ostuni, Puglia, Italy. Click here to read all Alexandra’s planning posts to date.

THREE FACTS: THREE FACTS: (1) Alexandra and Ian are planning an intimate black-tie destination wedding for 60 of their nearest and dearest in Puglia, Italy. (2) Alexandra is Jewish, and Ian is in the process of converting to Judaism. (3) Alexandra is a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!

In a turn of events that will surprise no one due to what the last month has looked like under quarantine, we had to postpone our wedding that was to be on 5-10-20. It was the perfect date but it was not meant to be. Everything was ready to go. We just had to do a few more small things like write our wedding vows, buy gifts for the parents and the bridesmaids, get my wedding dress fitted, and accessorize Ian’s tuxedo.

While it’s very disappointing to have to pull the brakes, we have been trying to focus on the bright sides. What’s nice about being so far along in the process is that we are way ahead of the game for next year. It also gives us time to think of new fun details to add to the wedding. 

  

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