Smashing the Glass | Jewish Wedding Blog
Inspired Jewish Weddings
So many of you have been asking for an ideal Jewish wedding day timeline that covers everything from getting ready to the last dance so here it is — ready for you to download!
And once you’ve downloaded it head over to our private Facebook group for Jewish and Jew-ish Brides and join in all the wedding talk!
Love Karen x
We are extremely honoured to be celebrating a truly talented and wonderful photographer today — the amazing David Pullum. Not only is it his birthday (Happy Birthday David!) it is also the anniversary of his 15 years working in wedding photography.
Voted one of the best 50 photographers in the UK in 2018, David Pullum is one of the most visually engaging photographers we know – he has an unbelievable skill of capturing emotion and his timeless style create memories the couple, the bridal party, and their friends and family will truly treasure forever.
We come across thousands of photographers here at Smashing The Glass, but David is definitely one of our all time favourites — he is utterly outstanding.
We adore having David as part of our Smashing family and today we want to make it all about him – congratulations David, 15 years in the wedding industry is a remarkable achievement!
Before we let David tell us more about his wedding photography experience so far, we are beyond 15 year excited to let you know that to celebrate this fantastic milestone David is offering off 15% of his wedding package for all Smashing Glass readers!! HAPPY DAYS!
Now David, over to you…
In 2003 the company I was working for decided to move most, if not all of its staff to Bangalore. Having left school with very few qualifications and have spent most of my working career in a trading room, the options were fairly limited. A good friend of mine at the time had just taken up wedding photography and so I signed up for the same course as he had done and by the end of that year I had my first wedding booking. 
Your wedding, on account of being an exciting celebration of love, will definitely be entertaining, no matter what you do. But sometimes, a few little extra touches can really elevate the atmosphere, and help to create unforgettable moments and even take-home treats for you and your guests.
If you’re stuck for special, above-and-beyond wedding ideas, look no further. Here are some of our favourite ways to absolutely spoil your loved ones.
One trend that seems to be particularly prevalent in Israeli weddings (see Dorit and Eli’s florally fabulous big day) is the somewhat whimsical and magical idea of a flower station. Your florist could set up a stall with buckets of fresh flowers, where your guests can adorn themselves with custom-crafted flower crowns and bracelets.
Not only is this a great way to keep your guests entertained, but also perfect for photographs, as everyone will be decked out with floral accessories.
Whether you go all out on a professional booth, or decide to DIY it (here is one of our favourite Etsy customizable photo booth backdrops), you can’t go wrong with a photo booth. Guests absolutely love grabbing a silly prop and taking some fun, lighthearted snaps.
The best bit? They’re so beautifully shareable online after the big day – and show a whole other side to the atmosphere to the official pics, as everyone has their guard down.
Oh, and if you have a printable booth, or a polaroid camera, you can create a guest book for your nearest and dearest to stick in their best booth snaps and write you a message underneath.
I have a friend; let’s call her Anna. Anna was six months into planning her Jewish wedding to the love of her life when she came around for a bit of emergency wedding therapy.*
*note – I’m in no way qualified to deliver such therapy, but desperate times…
“My mum says we have to have the ceremony at the synagogue,” she explained, “and my aunt wants me to arrange a coach from London to bring all my guests out to the country, my in laws want to invite about a kazillion people I’ve never heard of, my dad says he won’t sit at the same table as my uncle Shlomo unless he apologises for that thing he did back in ’76, my rabbi doesn’t approve of my caterer…”
On she cried about what the demands everybody else was making on her big day. Once she had finished telling me what everybody and their dog wanted (the dog, it turned out, wanted a walk) I asked her a question that caught her off guard:
“And what do *you* want?”
Anna blinked widely at me a couple of times.
“I’ve no idea,” she admitted.
Anna is a smart woman – but she was so overwhelmed by hearing the word “should” day and night, so inundated with everybody else’s two cents that she hadn’t even paused to consider what kind of celebration she and her partner might actually want to celebrate their choice to spend their lives together!
So I’m going to say the words that could have saved Anna a whole lot of stress and heartache:
There is no right way to have a wedding.
No, you didn’t just fall into another wedding stress dream and conjure up that sentence, you really read it; and here’s how you can start to believe it.
Once you let go of the idea that there’s one set-in-stone type of wedding, and you open yourself up to all of the fabulous, creative opportunities to really showcase the things you love and that make you a couple, there’s no turning back.
Indulge yourself: rummage through this blog; take a daydreaming cruise through the prettiest pages of Pinterest; play around with colour palettes and chuppah ideas and anything your heart desires.
Every time you catch yourself thinking “not for me”, ask yourself “why not?” Why shouldn’t you have the things that make your heart leap? Why should you and your partner deny yourself your ideal day? If the answer is “to please other people”, then read on, because the Church (or, in this case, Synagogue) of Other People is already full of worshippers — you can probably slip out unnoticed — and here’s how.
I know, I know, we’re Jewish – guilt is part of our DNA and our schtick. But it doesn’t have to be. It’s as easy as deciding not to feel guilty for putting your happiness first on a day that is totally and completely about you.
Before you say anything, I know. It’s not always that easy. Weddings are also about family and tradition. There are people you love who have dreamed of this day going a certain way for a long time. There are traditions that go back millennia and to some, letting go of those traditions, even for a day, might be unthinkable.
Yes, weddings are about family, too, but they’re about you and your partner first.
You cannot sacrifice starting your marriage the way you feel is right for the sake of appeasing others. All you need to start the process is permission to not do that anymore. So here it is: permission. I release you. You’re free. Now here’s how to take back the reins.
First and foremost, that would be you and your partner. Your opinions matter the most.
Then, really have a think about who has the right to chip in. Your parents, possibly – but even then, how much of a say do they get? A lot of this will depend on who’s paying, and, if they’re contributing to your wedding, how you accepted that money.
Before my own wedding, my then fiancé and I both carefully discussed our respective parents’ expectations with them before any contributions changed hands.
This isn’t always an easy conversation to have, but it’s an important one to get out of the way right at the beginning. Managing expectations is the best way to avoid conflict and disappointment further down the line.
This doesn’t need to be combative in any way. Simply say: “before we start planning this wedding, it’s important for us to say that it means a lot to us to start our married life with a celebration that represents who we are. This may mean that you won’t always agree with our decisions, but please know that these decisions will make us very, very happy. We’d really love for you to be a part of this journey with us and to help us plan the wedding that means the most to us and the commitment we’re making to each other.”
We’re all here for the same reason: we love Jewish weddings – and at STG, it goes without saying that our family of Smashing Suppliers are no exception. But what is it about a Jewish wedding that makes everyone want to be a part of the tradition, whether they’re Jewish or not?
We put the call out to our Smashing Suppliers to tell us their favourite element of a Jewish wedding and explain why it means so much to them – and they certainly had a lot to say on the subject! So take five minutes out of your day, sit down, relax and enjoy a verbal highlights reel of our suppliers’ favourite things. Oh, and don’t forget the most important thing of all:
We love the Tisch – it’s a fantastic moment, a totally kosher excuse for a last-second boisterous boys’ club for the groom and his crew to knock back some whiskey and get pumped up for the occasion. You can read more about the Tisch here.
Rahul from F5 Photography said:
“One of my favourite parts of a Jewish Wedding is the Tisch, it’s amazing to see all the ‘boys’ get together and celebrate the groom getting married, whilst singing songs and having a few shots of whiskey! The camaraderie is amazing to witness and photograph, it’s also really cool that the Rabbi often joins in too and has a drink with the groom.”
We had a first-look tradition before it was cool. That’s right, the Badeken is that touching moment when the bride and groom lock eyes for the first time before the ceremony. It’s moving, intimate and special – and, of course, our suppliers adore it.
Debbie from Qube Events & Productions said:
“One of my favourite parts of a Jewish wedding is the Badeken. I love seeing the expression on the brides’ and grooms’ faces when they see each other before for the wedding; usually very emotional and lots of happy tears.”