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Jewish Wedding Glossary – Smashing The Glass Style

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Jewish wedding glossary
So what do those funny-sounding Yiddishe/ Aramaic/Hebrew words associated with a Jewish Wedding really mean? It’s all laid out below for you complete with some all-important insights if you want to be really in the know…

AUFRUF: A short ceremony during the Shabbat (Sabbath) synagogue service that normally takes place on the Saturday morning before the wedding. The groom (and sometimes the bride) are honoured in front of their community. This is often followed by a small party or lunch (any excuse to add some food into a ritual).

ARAMAIC: A semitic language related to Hebrew that is often used as the wording in the ketubah (and a near-unpronouncable dialect that only rabbis seem to be able to enunciate / read).

ASHKENAZI: Jews of Eastern and Central European descent.

BADEKEN: A short but meaningful ceremony where the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil. It occurs just before the actual wedding ceremony and is a custom that derives from the biblical account of Jacob’s first marriage, when he was deceived to marry the heavily veiled Leah instead of Rachel, his intended bride.

The badeken is often emotionally charged as the bride and groom may not have seen each other for 24 hours or longer (as much as 7 days) until this moment.

BADEKEN JEWISH WEDDING
The Badeken ceremony as seen at Karen & Jeremy’s wedding [image by Earthy Photography]


BENCHERS / BENCHING: A small booklet containing the Jewish blessings for a meal (or a Jewish songbook for dinner – we love singing!)

BIRKAT HAMAZON: Jewish blessings recited after a meal – known in English as Grace after Meals (or a Jewish songbook for after dinner jollity).

CHATAN: Hebrew word for groom or a son-in-law. It comes from the verb meaning to tie, connect or covenant.

CHAZAN: A cantor – often a trained musician – who plays an active role in the ceremony in prayers said as songs (and he more often that not sings better than the rabbi).

CHALLAH: Delicious sweet plaited white bread eaten on Shabbat and at celebrations (a bit like a brioche – absolutely scrumptious toasted with a little butter).

CHUPPAH: The wedding canopy which sits atop four poles that represents the couple’s future home(often mistakenly pronounced as ‘Chopper’ as in the bike , or ‘Chupa [Chups]’ as in the lollipops).

CHUPPAH JEWISH WEDDING
A Jewish Chuppah as seen at Lee Ann & Andre’s’ wedding [image by Gavin Hart Photography]

HA MOTZI: A Jewish blessing recited over bread.

HAVA NAGILA: A traditional Hebrew folk song played at Jewish weddings (it’s become the absolute staple of Jewish wedding bands).

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Deborah & Alex | Secret Garden Jewish Wedding at Baya’ar, Israel

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ISRAELI GARDEN WEDDING 130
I love this wedding. Fact.

Deborah and Alex got married in a truly spectacular venue in Israel. It’s a colourful garden wedding with some incredible creative details and beautiful outdoor ceremony. I have to admit that I have a bit of a soft spot for Israeli weddings. I’m not sure whether it’s their raw edged beauty, the party-loving Israeli energy, the outdoor vibe or the amazing scenery. Whatever the ‘x-factor’ may be, I’m so thrilled to be sharing this special wedding with you today.

Deborah and Alex first met aged 6 at a mutual friends birthday party and despite going to the same school, and both spending their gap years in Australia and New Zealand, they only met properly at Leeds University after being introduced by a good friend of both of theirs.

I’ll now hand over to the lovely Deborah for the tale of their wedding.
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THE VENUE AND ‘SECRET GARDEN’ THEME
Deborah, The Bride: As a proud Zionist it was always my dream to marry in Israel. I wanted to ditch the formality of hotels and find something unique and personal. On one of our visits to Israel Alex and I visited a variety of venues in and around the Tel Aviv area. We had originally wanted a venue by the sea but there was none that were large enough. However when we saw Baya’ar (meaning the forest) we fell totally in love with it. It looked like a villa set within beautiful gardens and was both natural and spectacular.. The beautiful link between the modern interior and scenery outside was perfect. Lush, green, intimate and yet modern and elegant.

Inspired by our venue, the theme of the wedding became ‘the secret garden’. The colour scheme was multi-coloured (the bolder and brighter the better!) with yellow as the dominant colour. I wanted it to feel summery and vibrant.

As we were getting married abroad, we created a wedding website full of information about the various events and holiday tips for where to eat, go out and party in Israel.
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INVITATION DESIGN
I designed the invitation myself as I couldn’t find anything I liked. The white card I was so frequently shown I found boring. Instead I designed the invitation to reflect the venue and theme with summery yellows and greens and an illustration of a tree engraved with our initials. It was modern and informal and despite the design process becoming quite stressful we were thrilled with the results (plus it was a fraction of the cost).

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Daphna & Godwin | Tuscan Castle Jewish Wedding, Tuscany,Italy

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Tuscan-Castle-Wedding
I have a delicious destination wedding for you today. And they don’t come much more delicious than the beautiful Castello di Modanella in Tuscany – a castle in Italy which is also a vineyard where they make their own wine and olive oil. A stunning venue with gorgeous views and a wonderful ceremony (incorporating the James Bond theme tune) it was the perfect location for Daphna and Godwin to hold their very fun wedding weekend.

Daphna and Godwin (or D&G as they like to brand themselves!) met at work and were immediately attracted to each other. They kept their relationship quiet in the office so none of their colleagues knew that they were actually dating, and when they announced their engagement  15 months later it’s fair to say that all their colleagues were pretty shocked! The wedding itself stretched over a long weekend and took months of meticulous planning. Here’s Daphna with the D&G w-day story:
TUSCANY WEDDING
TUSCAN CASTLE WEDDING ITALY
A WEDDING WEEKEND ABROAD
Daphna, the Bride: I had always liked the idea of getting married abroad, as I had been to lots of weddings in England and wanted something different. As a bride you don’t actually get to spend much time with your guests so I wanted everyone to be relaxed on holiday for the whole weekend. That way at least you get to actually see your guests and for this purpose we organised various nights before the wedding day itself like a BBQ and a pizza night. I thought a destination wedding would be fun because everyone gets into holiday mode and ready to relax and party without having to worry about going to work the next day.

We thought about Spain and Italy as we love both countries, (we have no particular tie to either country, although I did study Spanish and lived in Madrid for a year, so I do love it) but in the end Italy won as it has better food & was a little classier! We looked at the Amalfi Coast too as I really wanted somewhere by the sea, and it is really romantic and gorgeous, but after researching we found that the Amalfi Coast has a lot of strict rules about music, ie lots of places only allow background music, and the party has to stop at 11.30pm etc. As we wanted a big party, this wasn’t really acceptable for us.
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Also, it was proving hard to get married outdoors and as far as I was concerned there is no point getting married abroad if it’s not outside in the sun! In the end we decided on a castle in Tuscany, where they make their own wine. It has a big lake, and various swimming pools, so it had the water aspect I wanted. The venue offered wine tasting & trips to their vineyards. There were no restrictions about what time the party had to end (we ended up having a pool party after the wedding till 4am to finish off the alcohol!). Most importantly the food at the castle is absolutely fantastic – I cannot rate them highly enough. They have their own restaurant that is open to the public that is practically Michelin starred – every dish you try is superb.

Additionally there was accommodation for over 200 people, so it meant that everyone from the wedding could stay in one place, which is something else I wanted. I didn’t want everyone dotted around –  it’s so much nicer to have everyone together. The views from the castle are absolutely beautiful, right amongst the rolling Tuscan hills.

The venue is owned by a family friend, so it made the whole affair really personal to us, as it felt like our family was there every step of the way helping us organise the wedding.

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The Jewish Wedding and Breaking the Glass. Why?

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Breaking the glass`
Image:  Dave & Charlotte

Nothing says “Jewish wedding” more than the sound of the smashing of the glass, so it’s the natural joyous title for my  Jewish wedding blog but why is breaking the glass such an important ritual of the Jewish wedding ceremony?

First and foremost it is the official signal to cheer, dance, shout “Mazal Tov!” and start partying!  But there are various other explanations depending on whom you ask. Some of them are that it:

1. is a representation of the fragility of human relationships; and a reminder that marriage will change your life (hopefully for the good) forever.
2. is a superstition and the loud noise is supposed to drive away evil spirits.
3. is a break with the past: the marriage is to last as long as the glass remains broken, ie. forever.
4. symbolises the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem some 2000 years ago.
5. symbolises a  hope that your happiness will be as plentiful as the shards of glass, or that your children will be as plentiful as the shards of glass.

And so it goes on.  And as with many symbolic acts in Judaism, you can see that there are a host of reasons available to explain why we break the glass at a Jewish wedding. Some Jewish men may also joke that this is the last time the groom gets to ‘put his foot down’!
Smashing The Glass

Image:  Hatunot Blog  /  Alexey Kudrik

CHOOSE THE INTERPRETATION THAT IS MOST MEANINGFUL TO YOU

Whatever reason resonates with you best, feel free to ask your rabbi or officiant to mention, just before the breaking of the glass, an interpretation that is the most meaningful for you.

And on the subject of breaking the glass, there are all sorts of alternative variations that you can make eg. why not both break the glass together with one swift smash in unison?  Be creative and choose the interpretation of the breaking the glass that means the most to you as a couple and it will make that element of your ceremony more momentous.
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Image:  Hatunot Blog  /  Dima Vazinovich

WEDDING SHARD MEZUZAH KEEPSAKE

Once the glass-smashing has been done and you are man and wife, I  think it’s a beautiful idea to create a mezuzah keepsake out of the smashed glass from your wedding ceremony. There are quite a few crafts-y people on Etsy who will create one for you from your shards of glass such as the one below from  Enid Traisman

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Lee & Gary | Show-Stopping Jewish Wedding at The Criterion, London

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city-chic-london-wedding
Lee and Gary married at the gorgeously opulent Criterion Restaurant in Piccadilly, London. And when I say opulent, I’m talking a sumptuous neo-Byzantine Piccadilly haven with marble walls, decorative archways and a glorious golden mosaic ceiling.

And that’s not the only reason I’m excited to feature this wedding. You see I’m also totally in love with Lee’s couture dress and head piece which she designed herself. AND the fact that Le Gateau Chocolat, the big black transvestite opera-singer, with a penchant for being wrapped in body-hugging glittery lycra, performed at this wedding!

So here’s their story: Although this gorgeous couple are both Jewish, Lee (a  former fashion designer, now a full-time mummy)  and Gary, a barrister, are both, in their own words, “devout atheists”. Even so,  both felt a need for some familiar cultural background in a partner and ended up finding each other on the Jewish dating site, JDate.

I’ll now hand over to Lee with all the delicious detail from the day:
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VENUE + DECOR
Lee, the Bride: Gary, my then fiancà©, had been to The Criterion Restaurant before and knowing my love for art deco, thought I might like it. He literally thought of it the day after he proposed (which by the way completely flew over my head as he did it in his usual verbally subtle way!) We were on holiday at the time and arranged to see the venue a few days after our return over lunch. The moment we sat down and took the place in, we knew we needn’t look any further.

With such a beautiful venue choice, we didn’t need or want a theme or colour scheme as we didn’t want to detract from the beauty of the room with many other colours. Our  floral and table layouts were fairly clean and simple too, with a combination of old school & clean modern – just how we like it!

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