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Your Chuppah – Everything You Need To Know

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Everything you need to know about your chuppah
This is a guest post by Lauren Dubell-Beadle, founder of The Chuppah Design Co who created the chuppah above
Image: Babb Photo from Clelia & George’s Jew-ish wedding

{If you are a member of Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club , you can watch Lauren’s video masterclass, ‘Everything You Need To Know About Your Chuppah’ here}

Before the dress, before the center pieces and before the personalized cocktails, your guests will see the symbolic chuppah that you will be married under. If you are like me, you will want that first impression to pack a punch and tell a story at the same time.

Why have a chuppah?

The chuppah goes back a long way and holds a lot of tradition within its simple four-posted structure. Its symbolism is vast, but ultimately the chuppah represents a couples first home that they will build together.

It is open on all four sides to represent the open hospitality the couple will give in their home to their family, friends and acquaintances… fitting more than a handful of your guests under the chuppah would be a challenge!

So the open sides help all your guests feel part of your ceremony. Today many non-Jewish couple choose to include a chuppah in their wedding for its symbolic nature and Jew-ish couples (like my husband and I) also want to have a chuppah, but may come across some challenges finding a rabbi who will willingly marry them or bless them under a chuppah.

US couples may not have the same issue, but if you are lucky enough to find Rabbi Paul Glantz free for your UK (or European) based date then make sure you snap him up! The chuppah was the first ‘Jewish thing’ we knew we wanted at our wedding and our insistence on having one led us to planning a wedding that was truly done ‘our way’. We wanted it to be the start of our meaningful and personal day.

Chuppah ideas
Image: The Image is Found from Michelle & Joseph’s Jewish wedding

Where to get inspiration?

So where do you start with planning your chuppah? Most people make the decision if they want to DIY their chuppah or not before they actually decide what they want… and you can definitely do that… we did.

We knew we wanted to make it ourselves in keeping with the idea of the new couple building their home together and we really didn’t want anyone else’s help for this one part of our day. However, it is important to decide what sort of chuppah will fit in with the overall style of your wedding.

Do you want something simple and traditional (that could be relatively easy to DIY) or do you want a massive eye-catching art installation style that will be pinned and shared all over Instagram after the big day? The latter you may wish to get some help with!

There are three places I’d suggest looking for inspiration at this stage; Smashing the Glass (particularly this post), Pinterest and Instagram the hashtag #chuppah always works a treat!

Whilst you’re scrolling you can begin to think of the style you are heading towards and how you might be able to turn those inspirational images into a reality. Here you might decide if you are DIY-ing or looking for some support from a florist and a rental company or a design service (like me!) for the truly one-off personal chuppah.

book-chuppah
Image: Dave Robbins from Jessie & Craig’s book-themed Jewish wedding

How to turn your vision into reality?

So, you are a newly engaged bride-to-be with a massive wedding Pinterest board and a whole load of new hashtags to follow on Instagram… so how do you turn all these ideas into something for your big day?

Do you go for it and DIY the whole thing or get someone in to do it for you? Both definitely have their merits. If you choose to DIY your chuppah then I’d suggest doing a bit of research before you plan it all out.Continue ReadingContinue Reading

Six Beautiful Jewish Wedding Traditions and How to Make Them Your Own

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jewish wedding traditions
Image: Lara Hotz Photography from Gena & Tony’s real Jewish wedding

Question: How is a Jewish wedding different from all other weddings?

Answer: The heart of a Jewish wedding beats amidst its unique traditions and within the potent symbolism. A chuppah, the processional with the parents of the bride and groom, the Klezmer or uniquely ‘Jewish’ music, the Seven Blessings, the breaking of the glass, the chair dance…and of course, there’s more.

While the traditions make the wedding, these days many Jewish and Jew-ish couples are choosing to lend a more modern, egalitarian approach to their simchas by updating the rituals so that they take on a meaning that speaks more to their values as a couple.

Reimagining the traditions, for some couples, is a key part of the wedding planning process. Here are some creative ways that many brides and grooms are choosing to modernize the Jewish wedding traditions and make them their own:

Hora-Jewish-Wedding
Image: Blake Ezra Photography from Chelm & Jake’s real Jewish wedding

Reinvent the Ketubah

The Ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract, written in the ancient language of Aramaic. It is typically framed and hung in the marital home after the wedding day and is often lovely to look at. The text of the traditional ketubah hasn’t changed much over time: it is legalistic and doesn’t mention love, instead stating that the groom has “acquired” his wife. With the advent of feminism, couples have increasingly found solutions to the limitations on the woman’s role in a Ketubah.

Some choose to keep the traditional wording but choose their own English text to sit alongside it: words that describe the home they want to create or the bond that they share. Other couples write their own Ketubah so that the wording aligns with their shared values (sample Ketubah texts are available all over the internet).Continue ReadingContinue Reading

Jewish Wedding Dancing (The Hora) – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #9

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Jewish-wedding-dancing
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 9 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

So far in this Jewish Weddings Explained series, we’ve gone through the entire day from morning to evening, now the real fun begins. Let’s be honest, Jewish weddings are known for their dancing. If there’s one thing that most non-Jewish guests know about a Jewish wedding, it’s that someone is going to be lifted on a chair and there’s going to be some crazy dancing.

In fact, we recently photographed a stunning and intimate non-Jewish wedding in the rolling hills of Devon. A couple of months before that day, the Groom’s brother had married a Jewish girl in New York. The Groom enjoyed the dancing at his brother’s wedding so much that he insisted his guests hoist him and his new wife onto chairs, which they did, as other guests around them clapped and made vaguely Jewish-sounding noises like ‘oy, oy, oy’. Even at non-Jewish weddings, lifting the couple on chairs will always be awesome!

Firstly, what do we call it? Most people nowadays refer to this part of the wedding as the ‘Israeli Dancing’. For me, it’s not as though everybody in Israel dances down the street in a circular fashion on their way to the local shops, and when you go into a club in Tel Aviv, you don’t see everyone being lifted up on chairs… so I call it ‘Jewish dancing’.

Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings. Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings. Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.
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The Yichud – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #8

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Yichud
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 8 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

So the couple have stood under their chuppah and the groom has smashed a glass. The family and friends have cried, laughed, clapped and shouted Mazal Tov! Now what for our newly married couple? The Yichud is another beautiful tradition in Jewish weddings. Yichud comes from the Hebrew word B’Yachad, which means ‘together’.

It is where the couple, who’ve been married only a few moments, make their way to a private room and spend the first few minutes of their married life just by themselves, without any distractions or other family members.

In religious circles, this is the first time ever that the couple will have had physical contact, so it really is a truly landmark moment in the lives of the couple. The room should be lockable, and the door is locked from the inside. In Orthodox law, couple remains secluded in the room for at least eight minutes.

For those who are less religious, even the Rabbi will know that the couple has had contact before, or that they live together already! However this is still such a precious moment, alone as a married couple — just the two of them. This is also a tradition that can be applied to any wedding, irrespective of which religion the couple follows. It truly symbolizes that even in the modern world with more demands on our time than ever, the couple should always find time just for one another — even with a crowd of friends and family all clamouring to give them a hug!

Yichud The Wedding of Danielle and joseph Wedding of Sarah and Dani
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Breaking The Glass – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #7

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Breaking-the-glass-Jewish-wedding
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 7 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

This is it, the time has come. With so much preparation carried out for this very moment, the ring placed upon the finger, every guest in the room hurriedly preparing their iPhones to take a shot, and clearing their vocal chords to shout “Mazal Tov”, it’s time to break the glass!

Such is the synonymy between Jewish weddings and smashing a glass, that we hear the most uber-cool Jewish wedding blog has been named after this very tradition. This site wasn’t named ‘Dancing the Hora’ or ‘Eating the Canapà©s’, but Smashing The Glass, as this is THE moment of the Jewish wedding.

The glass, usually wrapped up in a cloth or napkin, is placed on the floor in front of the groom. However before it is smashed, it’s traditional at most Jewish weddings for the Rabbi or Chazan (Cantor) to sing a Hebrew song called Im Eshkakech Yerushalayim, or in English… ‘If I forget you, Jerusalem’. This commemorates the falling of Jerusalem and destruction of the two Jewish temples that once stood there.

It’s said that whenever Jewish people experience immense joy, they should also remember the less joyous times in their ancestry. With celebration comes commemoration. So once the less beautiful times have been remembered, the time comes for the groom to break the glass. Why is this done? Great question.

There are many reasons that Jewish grooms break a glass at the end of their ceremony, sealing the marriage to their Bride. The first being, in keeping with the song that had just been sung, to commemorate the destruction faced by Jewish people over the past two thousand years, a nod to the suffering that had come before. After all, if you can remember the dark times even on the brightest of days, you’ll never allow them to be forgotten.

Breaking The Glass Jewish Wedding
Breaking The Glass Jewish Wedding
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