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The Ultimate Jewish Wedding Glossary

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Camila and Benjamin, Tintswalo Atlantic, Cape Town, South Africa

Camila and Ben‘s Jewish wedding | Photo by Nikki van Diermen

One of the most beautiful things about Jewish weddings is how rich they are in ritual. There’s so much meaning and so many centuries of tradition behind just about every step of the day, and there’s something so special about that.

There’s no denying, though, that there’s a lot of lingo to wrap your head around if you’re new to the Jewish wedding world (or even if you’re not!). 

That’s why we created our ultimate Jewish wedding glossary. Whether you’re planning your own Jewish wedding or attending your first one  as a guest, we’ll take you from aufruf to yichud in no time flat. 

Sophie-and-Jonny-Nobu-Portman-Square-London-UK

Sophie and Jonny‘s Jewish wedding | Photo by Liam Collard Photography

AUFRUF: A short ceremony during the Shabbat synagogue service that normally takes place on the Saturday morning before the wedding. The groom (and sometimes the bride) are honoured in front of their community. This is often followed by a small party or lunch.

ARAMAIC: A semitic language related to Hebrew. The traditional ketubah text is in Aramaic.

ASHKENAZI: Jews of Eastern and Central European descent.

BADEKEN: A short but meaningful ceremony where the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil. It occurs just before the actual wedding ceremony and is a custom that derives from the biblical account of Jacob’s first marriage, when he was deceived into marrying the heavily veiled Leah instead of Rachel, his intended bride. The badeken is often emotionally charged as the bride and groom may not have seen each other for 24 hours or longer (as much as 7 days) until this moment.

Jade and Adam, Sopwell House, St Albans, UK
Jade and Adam‘s badeken | Photo by Milda Vasile Photography

BENCHERS / BENCHING: A small booklet containing the Jewish blessings for a meal. Couples will often make personalized benchers for all of their guests to use and then take home as a souvenir.

Shera & Jared, Sheraton Grand Hotel, London, UK

Shera and Jared‘s benchers by Oy Vey Studios | Photo by Devon Shoob

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Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained – Jewish Wedding Dancing (The Hora)

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Jewish-wedding-dancing
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 8 of the 8-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

So far in this Jewish Weddings Explained series, we’ve gone through the entire day from morning to evening, now the real fun begins. Let’s be honest, Jewish weddings are known for their dancing. If there’s one thing that most non-Jewish guests know about a Jewish wedding, it’s that someone is going to be lifted on a chair and there’s going to be some crazy dancing.

In fact, we recently photographed a stunning and intimate non-Jewish wedding in the rolling hills of Devon. A couple of months before that day, the Groom’s brother had married a Jewish girl in New York. The Groom enjoyed the dancing at his brother’s wedding so much that he insisted his guests hoist him and his new wife onto chairs, which they did, as other guests around them clapped and made vaguely Jewish-sounding noises like ‘oy, oy, oy’. Even at non-Jewish weddings, lifting the couple on chairs will always be awesome!

Firstly, what do we call it? Most people nowadays refer to this part of the wedding as the ‘Israeli Dancing’. For me, it’s not as though everybody in Israel dances down the street in a circular fashion on their way to the local shops, and when you go into a club in Tel Aviv, you don’t see everyone being lifted up on chairs… so I call it ‘Jewish dancing’.

Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.
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Jewish Wedding Dancing (The Hora) – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #9

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Jewish-wedding-dancing
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 9 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

So far in this Jewish Weddings Explained series, we’ve gone through the entire day from morning to evening, now the real fun begins. Let’s be honest, Jewish weddings are known for their dancing. If there’s one thing that most non-Jewish guests know about a Jewish wedding, it’s that someone is going to be lifted on a chair and there’s going to be some crazy dancing.

In fact, we recently photographed a stunning and intimate non-Jewish wedding in the rolling hills of Devon. A couple of months before that day, the Groom’s brother had married a Jewish girl in New York. The Groom enjoyed the dancing at his brother’s wedding so much that he insisted his guests hoist him and his new wife onto chairs, which they did, as other guests around them clapped and made vaguely Jewish-sounding noises like ‘oy, oy, oy’. Even at non-Jewish weddings, lifting the couple on chairs will always be awesome!

Firstly, what do we call it? Most people nowadays refer to this part of the wedding as the ‘Israeli Dancing’. For me, it’s not as though everybody in Israel dances down the street in a circular fashion on their way to the local shops, and when you go into a club in Tel Aviv, you don’t see everyone being lifted up on chairs… so I call it ‘Jewish dancing’.

Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.
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How much time do we allow for the Jewish Dancing section of our wedding?

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DEAR KAREN WEDDING Q2
Hi MeLena

The hora  is one of my favourite parts of  a Jewish wedding – everyone that you love and care about dances around you, participating in your joy and celebration as you try not to fall off your flying thrones! I say live it up  but  I think the answer to how long for, depends on the type of guests that you’ve invited.

If it’s a predominantly Jewish crowd who have been to many Jewish weddings before your big day, they are going to throw themselves into it and probably want 30 minutes worth to work up a huge sweat and go wild! That could either be encompassed into all one set, or split into two sets of 15 minutes.

However, if there are going to be quite a few non-Jews who may have never experienced the Hora before than I think that a shorter set of  approximately 10 minutes is better as there won’t be quite the same vigour from every guest, and not everyone will have the confidence to throw themselves into the Jewish dancing the first time they experience it.

The great thing about an iPod playlist is that you can arrange say 30 minutes worth of hora dance music and just wind it down at any point if you feel the momentum is dropping or people are ready for a break. It’s definitely better to allow for more and give the ‘cut’ signal to the DJ if you feel like it’s time to stop.

In terms of your iPod Jewish music playlist, get the party rocking by checking out these cool alternative versions of Hava Nagila, the Hora and other Jewish Wedding music  and this one that collates the  best versions and remixes of  Hava Nagila.  There are loads of non-traditional versions to choose from that maybe better match your personality as a couple, or your wedding theme, than the traditional ‘fiddler on the roof’ style versions. Listen to them all , take your pick, and have a wonderful Jewish wedding music set!

Karen x

Do you have a wedding-related question that you’d like me to answer in Dear Karen? Either email me or leave it in the comments section below. I look forward to hearing from you!

The best non-traditional versions of ‘Hava Nagila’

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The traditional  ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ style versions of Hava Nagila    are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, so why not choose a more original and fun variety for  your Jewish wedding playlist?

Choose a Hava Nagila (or ‘Have-a-tequila’!) that you feel reflects you both or fits the theme of your wedding.  Below I’ve sourced everything from a Cuban style version to American Jazz to Beach Party to Techno style renditions. And further down the page there’s some awesome YouTube versions to watch by Bruce Springsteen, Neil Diamond, a Bollywood Hava Nagila, and a few more spectacles!

HAVA NAGILA BY  ALEX M vs. MARC VAN DAMME
Listen
A techno version of Hava Nagila that will get the party *pumping*!
Hava Nagila Techno

HAVA NAGILA BY  THE BARRY SISTERS
Listen
Hava Nagila with a  40s American jazz twist
Havana Nagila AMERICAN JAZZ

HAVA NAGILA BY  TERRA FOLK
Listen
Hava Nagila with an Irish folk band twist.
Havana Nagila Terra Folk

HAVA NAGILA BY  HAVANA GILA
Listen
Hava Nagila in a Salsa/Cuban fusion style. Very classy!
Havana Nagila

HAVA NAGILA BY  JOE BROWN
Listen
A bluesy version of Hava Nagila that starts slow and then really kicks in
Hava Nagila Joe Brown

HAVA NAGILA BY  MUNICIPALE BALCANICA
Listen
Hava Nagila with a Balkan Gypsy twist
Hava Nagila Balkan Gypsy Twist

HAVA NAGILA BY SCOTT WILSON
Listen
Hava Nagila with a Middle Eastern guitar twang!
Hava Nagila Guitar

 

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