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Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained – The Badeken

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Badeken
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 3 of the 8-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

The Badeken is one of my very favourite traditions of a Jewish wedding, both emotionally and photographically.

This is the ceremony where the groom veils the bride, the term comes from the Yiddish word ‘to cover’. It’s often the most emotional moment of a Jewish wedding, where the bride and groom see each other for the first time a few minutes before the main ceremony begins under the chuppah. Often a couple will have time apart before their wedding, the more religious the couple, the longer the amount of time apart, so this moment where their eyes meet for the first time on their wedding day is so special, and such an honour for us to photograph. Even without the religious significance of the badeken, many couples of all different faiths nowadays choose to do a ‘first look’ on their wedding day; it’s a special thing to do.

Usually only very close family and friends are involved in this process, as the wedding guests are seated for the chuppah and excitedly await the procession down the aisle. However, sometimes the couple choose to open the badeken to all their guests, allowing everyone to share in this electric moment where the groom is brought into the room to see his beautiful bride, often accompanied by his groomsmen and friends singing and clapping, as the atmosphere reaches fever pitch.

Badeken
Badeken
Smashing The Glass Jewish Weddings Explained - Bedeken.
Bedeken
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Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained – The Tisch

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Tisch
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 2 of the 8-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

The Tisch, traditionally, is a period of loud and atmospheric boy-time before the ceremony starts. In the more secular world, there are probably some parallels with going for a few drinks in the pub before the big match, but substitute beers for whiskey, football chants for symbolic Hebrew songs, and Barmaids for Rabbis. OK, I admit that may not have been a flawless comparison, but it can be loud and full of energy, whilst meaningfully building the anticipation for the events to come.

Some Grooms opt not to have a Tisch, and instead prefer to be elsewhere in the venue, welcoming guests as they arrive. It all depends on individual preference and also on how religious or spiritual that person is. For me, a wedding is great when it truly represents the couple, so there shouldn’t be pressure on a Groom to have a Tisch, or indeed not to.

The word ‘Tisch’ literally means ‘table’, and the common theme of every Tisch we’ve ever photographed is that there’s a table in the middle, laden with food and drink for the guests to enjoy before the ceremony.

TISCH.
Tisch
Tisch
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Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained – The Ketubah

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Ketubah
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. 

Welcome to the first post in our 8-part series of Jewish Wedding Traditions explained.

This week it’s all about the Ketubah. The Ketubah is the name of the traditional Jewish marriage certificate; in Hebrew the word Ketubah literally means ‘something written’.

The content of a Ketubah has always traditionally been a one-way document detailing what the groom must provide to the bride in their married lives together, which includes three main things — clothing, food and physical relations.

This ancient document used to deal with concepts such as payments for marriage, which in today’s modern world simply aren’t applicable to most of us. One passage says, “All my property, real and personal, even the shirt from my back, shall be mortgaged to secure the payment of this marriage contract.” We can understand it not as a way to “secure the payment” of the marriage, but as the groom saying to his bride, ‘everything I have is also yours, down to the shirt on my back’.

The Ketubah - Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained
If you’re planning a wedding the Ketubah can be a great thing to personalise to make it more relevant to you. A Ketubah can be decorated in many different ways, with illustrations around the text or colours that represent something about you, indeed there are many artists who custom-make Ketubot, all with a presence on the internet.

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Mazel Pup! Involving Your Dog in Your Jewish Wedding

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Jacqui and James‘ Jewish wedding with dogs | Photo by Sarah Diller

This is a guest post by Rabbi Robyn Frisch, Director of the Rukin Rabbinic Fellowship for 18Doors and founder of the Mazel Pups Facebook Group. Rabbi Robyn loves dogs just as much as she loves Jewish (and Jew-is) weddings – and having officiated at many over the past 20+ years, she’s seen it all and is channeling her wisdom into some great tips about involving your furry best friend in your big day.

“Will there be a ring bearer?” I asked the wedding couple, after they informed me that the bride’s four-year-old niece was going to be the flower girl. This was 22 years ago. I was a newly ordained rabbi, and it was one of the first weddings I officiated. The couple was planning a small, intimate ceremony in the groom’s parents’ back yard.

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Rachel and Aaron‘s dog-friendly Jewish wedding | Photo by Hello Blue Photo

They told me that yes, there would be a ring bearer: their Yorkshire Terrier. He’d walk down the aisle by himself with plastic rings tied onto a bow around his collar. The best man would be holding the couple’s actual wedding rings. “How bizarre!” I thought to myself. In the handful of weddings that I’d officiated, a couple of them had ring bearers – but they were HUMAN ring bearers – all little boys under the age of five. As I imagined a dog – even a cute, well-trained little Yorkie – in the ceremony, a list of all of the things that could possibly go wrong ran through my head.

Jacqui and James‘ Jewish wedding with dogs | Photo by Sarah Diller

But the couple insisted that their dog be the ringbearer, and so he was. And I’m happy to report that the dog did a great job. He walked down the aisle on his own – stopping briefly once or twice to sniff the grass and look at the guests – and when he met the groom at the Chuppah (wedding canopy) he was rewarded with a scratch behind his ears and a Milk Bone treat subtly removed from the groom’s pocket.

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Wendy and Nagesh‘s Jewish wedding – with their dog | Photo by Laurie Bailey 

For many years after that wedding, I didn’t see or hear much about dogs being part of weddings. But in recent years, many couples I’ve married have dogs who aren’t just incredibly important parts of their lives, but who’ve also played roles in proposals; engagement and wedding photos; and wedding ceremonies.

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Sara and Greg‘s Jewish wedding, with pup Bruce | Photo by Hilary Katzen 

PROPOSALS

For some couples I’ve worked with, the dog’s involvement starts with their engagement. For example, Sydney and Andrew already had rescued their dog Jasper together, and Sydney felt that Jasper was ready for a sibling. Her hints to Andrew weren’t so subtle: Sydney started sending Andrew pictures of other dogs they could rescue. She had no idea that Andrew was already in the process of looking for another dog to add to their family – and that he was planning for that dog to be a central part of his proposal.

Samantha and Scott‘s Jewish wedding, with furry friends on the guest list | Photo by Starfish Studios 

One day, Andrew came home holding roses – and a dog! Sydney was so excited about their new dog Pippa that it took her awhile to notice that Pippa was wearing a tag that said “Will you marry me?” Ultimately, Sydney did see the tag, and ended up that day with both a new dog in the family and the love of her life as her fiance.

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Rachel and Aaron‘s dog-friendly Jewish wedding | Photo by Hello Blue Photo

ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS

Many couples choose to have their dogs in their engagement photos. While they’ll of course take plenty of photos with just the two of them, they’ll also have a bunch of photos with their dog, or dogs. Just like engagement photos in general, sometimes the photos with the dogs are taken at the couple’s home, sometimes they’re taken at a photographer’s studio, and sometimes they’re taken outside. Often the photos with the dogs are taken first, and then someone who the dogs are comfortable with – a relative, groomer, walker, or someone else the dog knows well – takes the dog so the couple and photographer can be alone to take the rest of the photos.

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Top Mother-of-the-Bride Shopping Tips from Designer Joyce Young

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This is a guest post by Joyce Young of Joyce Young Design Studios. Photo by Janelle Brooke Photography from Julia and ChiChi’s wedding. 

We’re so excited to share some top mother-of-the-bride (or groom) shopping tips from Joyce Young, a renowned UK-based designer at the very top of the game. If you think your mum could use a little encouragement to get her shopping mojo on, send her right here to take in Joyce’s wise words!

Photo courtesy of Joyce Young

The Engagement

Congratulations! Your darling son or daughter has announced that he/she is to get married to their soul mate.  This is a joyous time, with all the excitement to come of planning a wedding.

Most mothers like to be involved but depending on the couple your involvement can vary considerably. It can and should be a time of quality bonding as you plan and discuss all the aspects of the wedding, but it can also be a frustrating time with a lot of biting the tongue to avoid conflict!

Photo by The Love Hunters from Georgia and Joel’s wedding

Couples are now getting married older and tend to know their own minds and may not ask the opinions of parents. Sometimes this can be hurtful. When my own daughter got married I quickly learned that when she sought my opinion is was only OK when I happened to agree with hers. I learned to become very tactful! 

We have been in business for 26 years dressing mothers of the bride and brides and we hear so many stories some very funny and others quite sad and we know it’s hard to please all of the people all of the time!

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