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A Rosa Clara bride for a festive Winter Wonderland Jewish-Humanist wedding at The Underglobe, Globe Theatre, London, UK

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Today’s Jew-ish wedding takes the term ‘White Wedding’ to a whole new level! Phoebe & Ben were married in December 2015 and love winter, the festive season, and the way it brings the whole family together, so wanted their wedding to capture that sparkly, wintery, celebratory feeling.

They picked their stunning venue, The Underglobe (the museum beneath Shakespeare’s world-famous Globe Theatre in London) because of their love of theatre, and Wildabout Flowers expertly decorated the space to look like a dramatic Winter Wonderland straight out of Narnia.

Some of my favourite details include Phoebe’s sublime Rosa Clara gown, a colour scheme that included silver, purple and all out sparkles, live cabaret by a Drag Queen in leather shorts and knee high boots, and a first dance to I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore (genius!). Then there’s the off-the-scale Abigail Bloom cake, a show-stopping speech by the bride, an unplanned (unrehearsed) rendition of Bohemian Rapsody by the couple’s friends, a hugely meaningful Humanist-Jewish wedding ceremony, movie-themed icebreakers on the tables… Phew, what a wonderful glorious mix!

Come on in and delve into Jew-ish Wedding Narnia… We have the perfectly captured images by Richard Payne and the oh-so-romantic film by Allora Visuals. Take it away gorgeous Phoebe!

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How we met

Phoebe, the bride: Ben and I meet at University, he was on the Kent Falcons American football team, and I was a first year who had just joined the Kent Falconette cheerleading team. We be came friendly on the team tour to Prague, and eventually Ben asked me out.

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Spectacular destination wedding at Ronit Farm, Kfar Shmaryahu, Herzliya, Israel

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I promise you what you’re about to see is truly epic. This folks is how to do a super cool, super chic lavish destination wedding in Israel.

Montana and Justin, from South Africa, married at Ronit Farm (Havat Ronit), one of Israel’s most dazzling wedding venues. What’s more, the clever team at Danny Marx brought to life something I have never seen before: Montana had decided that she wanted to walk down the aisle to the chuppah while everyone was already seated at their tables, so all the guests were seated at one giant ‘S’ shaped table that also served as the ‘catwalk’ down to the chuppah (I mean REALLY!).

There are so many things I love about this wedding that I’d be here until midnight listing them all for you but I will say that I love a bride who chooses a black colour scheme (so different) and 17 bridesmaids dressed in black! I also love that the couple chose the same first dance song as Montana’s grandparents had. Her grandparents have been married for 60 years and joined them on the dance floor for the first dance. So special, right?

Montana and Justin certainly know how to throw a party. And throw a club-like Ibiza-style party they did, complete with pyrotechnics, dancers covered in lights, fire flames… THE LOT! Just wait until you see the photos by Eran Beeri and Eyal Gaziel and wedding film by Aleksey Malev.

Oh and I love the array of favours handed out… from selfie sticks to fans to sandals to hip flasks filled with different cocktails that guests could enjoy on their coach ride home. See? I told you this wedding is EVERYTHING!

Montana and Justin, take it away…

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How they met

Montana, the bride: Justin and I met when we were 14 years old. We were in the same class in our first year of high school. We were best friends and over the years it developed into a love story. We dated on and off throughout high school and reconnected again after school when we were 22. The rest is history — we have never looked back!

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Choosing to get married in Israel

We got married at Ronit Farm in Israel. We attended a wedding there a few years ago and I decided then and there that I would get married there. As a South African, it is hard to have a local wedding that is special and different so we thought a destination wedding would be best. And what better place to get married than in Israel!

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What you need to know about getting married within the United Synagogue

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It’s all well and good to put all of your time and attention into flowers and party favours but the most important part of your wedding is your ceremony. The ceremony has had VIP status for both Elliot and I since we started planning because it’s a massive moment in our lives, and we want to take as much from it as we can.

We have organised our music choices, selected our rings and met with my Rabbi from Dublin, Rabbi Lent who I’ve known for many years, to discuss the ceremony. He has been very accommodating to our questions and requests about the ceremony and followed up with us on a wedding What’s App thread! All of this sounds lovely but there were some important things to organise, which, if you choose to get married within the United Synagogue*, you’ll also need to know…

I didn’t know much about Jewish marriage laws until I started “marriage lessons”, which I was encouraged to take from my Rabbi. These sessions are organised by the United Synagogue  and their co-ordinator connects you with one of their tutors who relates to your level of observation, to explain the marriage laws to you. The boys need to do them too, and you don’t have to go to classes together.

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My married friends have all been to these classes and while you might say that “it’s not for you”, I found the information given to me about the laws of Niddah (purity) and its purpose (to help a couple to focus on their marriage) to be enlightening and stringent but not as awkward as I had anticipated.

Maybe it was my lovely tutor, a lady a few years older than I, who with seven children had time to organise baking parties and sit with me for an hour a week (I had six lessons, but you can have less if you want), without a wrinkle in sight! For some, this may seem like a waste of time as it’s something you’ll never abide by, but the customs and symbolic references will excite every bride-to-be (for example, white is worn because you are like an angel on your wedding day and given a sin-free state…result!)

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A Ritva Westenius bride for an Italian Garden-themed wedding at Home in London, UK

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Today’s bride, Katie, is just the cutest, and what amazing fashion choices — a W-day gown from  Ritva Westenius  (she chose it as she was after  something pure,  spiritual and simple to reflect the chuppah), dusty pink Manolo Blahnik‘s, and then fired up her look with  a sparkly belt, headpiece and earrings for the  evening party. So so chic!

The venue  is very  special too. It’s Katie’s childhood home and it set the scene for a truly  intimate and meaningful day. The symbolism of their Jewish wedding was so important to these two, and they honoured a  traditional Jewish wedding ritual that I’ve  seen only a few times on the pages of Smashing The Glass: they  spent the entire week before the wedding apart. They didn’t speak, they didn’t even text! In Katie’s words, this made the day so much more special, and it really did  remind them of what the day is all about. Katie’s brother, Ben, spoke under the chuppah, and I love what Katie says about their chuppah design too:

We felt the beauty of the chuppah should come from what is happening underneath rather than what it looks like. We wanted it to be pure and spiritual allowing our guests to focus on the ceremony rather than the chuppah structure itself.

Another detail that was evidently very important to these two was their  Italian garden  theme. They  both spend a lot of time in Tuscany and love that part of the world and they wanted to bring Italiana into every  corner of their wedding! They brought their ideas to life with the help of Ben Krieger from  Outrage Events, and an incredible Italian feast  by Food Story  including spaghetti meatballs, tiramisu, and of limoncello!  The  beautiful themed stationery, designed by one of our much-loved Smashing Suppliers,  Emily & Jo, was even printed in Italian,  and  home-made olive oil  favours alongside oodles of  fresh herbs and lemons  were placed  on every table. You could literally see, touch, taste and smell Italy!

The stunning photography is  by another  of our  hugely talented Smashing Suppliers,  David Pullum Photography.  And there’s also a  fabulous film by Atmotion  too.

So all that leaves me to say is… Cin Cin. Sit back, relax, and enjoy!

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How we  met

Katie, the Bride: We met through a friend and started talking on Facebook in that classic way  ?

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What is a Jew-ish wedding? It’s whatever you want it to be…

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In my opinion the important part of any wedding is the actual ceremony itself. Many people can get lost in the details of the party that comes after and the ceremony just happens through the guidance of a rabbi, priest or registrar. However when you are getting married to someone of a different faith (or no faith at all) then there are some significant choices to be made.

This was something John and I discussed before we were even engaged and knew there was one non-negotiable element to our wedding day. We wanted a chuppah. I had discussed the Jewish wedding ceremony with John who is atheist (unless football is considered a religion??) and we both loved the chuppah’s representation of our first home together, supported by our family and friends. It is universal and whilst it comes from a practice of my Jewish heritage, it also will represent the joining of our two families.

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Missy  & Yoni’s  Jew-ish  wedding ceremony. Click here to read their wedding story

Jew-ish wedding ceremony  options

One thing we weren’t certain of was what the ceremony itself would comprise of. I knew that there wouldn’t be an affiliated rabbi (someone connected to a synagogue organisation) in the UK who would be able to conduct a ceremony or a blessing under a chuppah. Initially I was very frustrated by this. I felt that it was ridiculous that a non-Jewish couple could choose to get married under a canopy after seeing it at a Jewish wedding and liking the symbolism, but I was not able to have a legal wedding or blessing conducted by a rabbi under the same symbolic chuppah.

We could easily have had a civil wedding and then a Jewish blessing straight away, but I didn’t want a long meaningless ceremony followed by a Jewish blessing AND not under a chuppah. Our guests would get bored and so would I for that matter! Many options were bandied about. A civil ceremony earlier on in the day with close family and a blessing that we would invite our guests to? Just a civil ceremony with some sort of Jewish readings? But we didn’t like any of these ideas, they didn’t mean anything to us and I felt like me, my bridesmaids and my mum might need that extra time earlier in the day to put on our war paint! We wanted our wedding to mean something special to us and represent who we are. We said no to the two ceremonies in one day and no to the rabbis.

We decided that we were going to get married legally a few days before our wedding day in a registry office near where we live, just with our close family, and then have a ceremony that truly represents us. This meant that we would be able to get married under a chuppah, with whatever elements we choose and get our family and friends fully involved.

We decided that we wanted to have sheva brachot (seven blessings) written and given to us during the ceremony by seven members of our family and friends, so they will be truly personal to us, a chuppah that we will make ourselves that will showcase the family and friends that have helped to shape us individually until now and John will smash that glass at the end of the ceremony.

Other than that we were excited about all the extra details we would be able to add to our ceremony. But who could we get to ‘officiate’ this ceremony? So along came my charismatic brother Josh who we felt would be a perfect ‘officiant’ for a wedding with his witty banter and strong understanding of Jewish practice and ease of speech that would ensure that all our guests would understand what was going on. Josh has been instrumental in creating this ceremony, yet he still wants to keep a few secrets from John and I. Initially this scared the controlling me, but once I gave him a list of the basic bits we want included and the people we wanted involved, I realised my brother wouldn’t mess up such an important part of the day and let him carry on with his scheming.

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