Smashing the Glass | Jewish Wedding Blog

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LOVE IS LOVE: Marriages that cross boundaries

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Today’s post marks  a new series on the blog called LOVE IS LOVE where I will be documenting some very special  marriages  that cross boundaries that (to put it quite bluntly) certain ignoramus’s across the globe find unacceptable. Love is love, no matter if you’re of one faith or another, if you’re straight or if you’re LGBT.

It may be the annual Gay Pride festival  this weekend in my home city of London, but that’s just a happy coincidence. This series has been triggered  in response to an  email I received last weekend from a young woman in India who greatly benefitted from Yana and Archita’s same-sex,  mixed faith  wedding that I lovingly  blogged  last  year. I am reprinting her email, with her permission, below:

Hi Karen,

This is probably a pretty unorthodox request. You don’t know me but I’m reaching out because I am an Indian girl who recently came out to my parents as gay and they are having a lot of trouble dealing with it and imagining that I could have a happy life with a woman – especially in India (they currently live in Bangalore).

I believe that part of it is because our extended family, and all our friends are conservative (and fairly ignorant) community. I was hoping that if they could see, or speak to, happily married Indian lesbians, they might believe that happiness is possible even for me.

I noticed you wrote an article on Yana & Archita  and was wondering if you could forward this email to Archita and ask her if she would be willing to speak with me?

Thank you so, so much.

It goes without saying that I passed the reader’s  letter  to Archita and the two of them are now in contact.

I want  to use this space to bring more love to more people, and to show how every kind of love is perfectly valid. No-one should be able to tell you how to live, who to love, and who you should be  spending a lifetime  with.  Love is universal and unbiased.

The film below? Now that’s ‘LOVE IS LOVE. It’s a  video of a  police officer breaking  ranks with his colleagues to propose to his boyfriend yesterday at Pride in London.


The rest of his team look so pleased for him too! This film moves me so much, and it’s everything I value about living in this great country.

I would be so delighted to hear from you if you  would like to write a post (anonymously if desired) about your ‘LOVE IS LOVE’ marriage on Smashing The Glass. And if you know a couple that might like to share their story, do send them my way.

So let’s kick off the series by featuring some of my favourite images from  Yana and Archita’s Jewish-Hindu-Indian-Russian multicultural lesbian wedding. To see more images from their  big day, and to read their  story (in their own words), head over  here.

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A Valentine’s Day Jewish Wedding in the snow, at The Liberty Grand, Toronto, Canada

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I first saw today’s wedding on photographer Assaf Friedman’s Instagram feed. I was totally smitten by Danielle and Aaron’s couple portraits in the snow, and I just knew I had to feature their entire Valentine’s Day affair on Smashing The Glass.

Danielle and Aaron are a super stylish couple with really great taste — I’m particularly loving their accessories! I’d like Danielle’s leather jacket AND her heart-shaped sunnies please. And Aaron looks dapper with his slick tux, patterned socks, and polka dot pocket square (and he wore the coolest pair of personalised Nike Hi-Tops that Danielle surprised him with too).

Aaron and Danielle chose to engrave each other’s wedding bands with a surprise inscription  and decided that neither of them would see this message until after the ceremony when they were finally man and wife. And would you believe it, they had both engraved each other’s rings with the same beautiful message! These two are meant to be together…

Read on for lots more treats, surprises, advice, tips and a really wonderful account of a truly stylish, luxe Jewish wedding.

A Valentine’s Day Jewish Wedding in the snowA Valentine’s Day Jewish Wedding in the snow
How we met

Danielle, the Bride: Aaron and I met online. We had our first date at a small craft beer bar in Toronto. On our third or fourth date, Aaron asked me if I was dating other people. At that point, we decided to be exclusive. Things moved fairly quickly and I think that after a few weeks of dating we knew that one day we would get married.

A Valentine’s Day Jewish Wedding in the snow

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A dress designed by the bride, for a Jewish wedding with movie tunes and musicals, at Agadata, Israel

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There is so much wonderful individuality in this gorgeous Jewish wedding that I really don’t know where to start. Dena’s wedding report is wonderful, and my goodness is she a bride that knows her own mind.. and style!

She designed and made her own dress and says it was  exactly what she had imagined it would look like since she dreamt about it as a teenager… And how gorgeous is that  Belgian lace  veil? It’s a family heirloom bought in 1926 by Dena’s  great grandmother,  and has been worn by her  great grandmother,  grandmother,  mother, aunt and even  sister before her at their weddings. How  very special is that?

Dena  is a make-up artist and CB is an actor, and they are both very involved in community theatre in Jerusalem. To reflect their shared love of theatre, they enlisted  two musician friends to play songs from the Broadway  musicals, including of course the ones they had  both acted in.

Then, during the ceremony they integrated many songs from the movies, my favourite examples being the groom walking down to the Gladiator theme, and both of them walking  into the theme from  Ghostbusters  for their wedding entrance!

And a first on  Smashing The Glass, Dena and CB  hired a live-streamer instead of a regular videographer, so that all their  family and friends (mostly abroad) who were not able to attend the wedding, would still able to take part in the celebration. I wonder if we will start to witness more and more livestreaming now that families are so often spread far and wide all over  the globe?

Here is their story from the perspective of their wonderful photographer and all-round Mr Fabulous, Herschel Gutman.  Herschel is one of my much-loved Smashing Suppliers and is available to shoot weddings in both the  UK and Israel. I highly,  highly recommend him!

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How we  met

Dena, the Bride: I am a make-up artist for theatrical productions and CB is an actor, and we met during his first production in Jerusalem, HMS Pinafore, a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta, in 2012.

I was making up another man and he told CB that there was a cute make-up girl that he should get his make-up done by. So he came into the make-up room and sat in my chair and that is how we met. At first we just started talking and then we started hanging out more and eventually decided to date each other. We broke up after a few months when CB decided to study acting in the US, and only got back together less than a year ago, after not being in touch at all for the three years he was gone!

It was just meant to be! Our proposal  story is the sweetest thing, I think, and I loved it so much and it was perfect for us! It happened right after a show that we watched together. The producer of that show called CB up onto the stage and at first I had no idea what was going on. Then he started talking about me and about us and he then called up the cast of the recent RENT production (We started dating again during the recent production of Jerusalem’s RENT. I designed costumes for them and knew the cast well) to help him ask a question. The cast proceeded to perform Seasons Of Love, with CB singing the solo, and right afterward he got off the stage, down on one knee and proposed. By that time of course I knew what was about to happen, and he invited my best friends, my parents, and his family to be there for the proposal! It was absolutely perfect and magical!

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Best Father-of-the-Bride Speech at a Jewish Wedding Ever!

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Happy Father’s Day to all our wonderful dad’s (and  some of our partners too!). To celebrate this special day I wanted to share a snippet from a Father Of The Bride speech that is genuinely one of my favourite ever Jewish wedding moments.

It’s from the wedding of Vanessa and Lin  and it’s  a  truly feel-good brilliantly executed wedding surprise, full of ‘Life’ (hope I haven’t given the game away!).

Watch it below  — I promise you you will be smiling from ear to ear!

And on the subject of great surprises by fathers at weddings, here’s one of the best Father Daughter First Dance surprises I’ve EVER  seen…  Regular ‘dad dancing’ movers need not apply!

And finally, may I just big up my wonderful dad, Allan (below right) who performed an amazing rendition of Swell Party / Well, Did You Evah with his cousin, at my wedding. It  really got the party swinging — it was definitely one of the highlights of the day. Love you dad!

Swell-Party

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Save The Day with John Lewis

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John Lewis  has always been close to my heart, in fact to most Brits  it’s  pretty much an institution upon which we’ve always relied on. From picking up my first pair of knitting needles for a school project, to getting those navy, leather Mary-Jane school shoes we all wore, and in more recent years bulk-buying cotton sleep suits for my own children, John Lewis has always been there for me.

Apart from that familial reliability – and those heart-wrenching Christmas ads – the other major association most people make with John Lewis has to be the infamous you-can’t-go-wrong wedding gift list.  And again, trusty JL was there for me at one of life’s most important milestones.

But what you may not realise is just how much “wedding” they actually have within those beautifully curated floors.

It really is a bridal cornucopia, an Aladdin’s cave. From occasion wear, gifts, stationery, haberdashery, decorations, fizz and make up, there’s no doubt about it — when it comes to weddings – John Lewis is ALL  over it.

And because it’s so trustworthy and established, it manages to keep everybody happy.  There’s something for every kind of couple, whether you’re seeking classical big day perfection or  a quirkier, more offbeat feel.

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Haberdashery / Wedding Craft

For me, where John Lewis really stands out is as THE home of haberdashery.  And for those who think haberdashery is just a few different types of buttons, think again.

John Lewis has an unmatched range of ribbons, silks, embroidery, braids, fabrics, zips and, yes, buttons.  But also an incredible range of wedding craft and accessories  — its the place where you can pick up the floral corsages, buntings and all the add-ons to bring your big day vision to life, no matter how creative.

And  they also have really cool decorative bits and pieces that can totally liven up your home long after your big day is over. How gorgeous is the East of India range? And take a look at these Rico Alphabet Decor letters  — they’d be just as fab on a shelf in your hallway, as they would be placed next to a guest book at the  wedding.

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