Smashing the Glass | Jewish Wedding Blog

Inspired Jewish Weddings

Home > Real blogging brides > Page 42

Real Jewish Brides: I said yes to The Kess, now it’s time for my dress!

by

dawn-intro-image
When you research what comes next after choosing your wedding venue, you often see suggestions like “book your officiant” or “find your photographer!” You might even find comments like “you’ll want to get your DJ right away” but “purchase your wedding dress?” That’s definitely not on the top of the standard Wedding To-Do list, but it somehow ended up being my next big wedding check mark.

With a sixteen-month wedding planning period and my sister Jill’s wedding two and half months after Harley and I got engaged, I was in no rush to book anything other than the venue. Even as someone who considers myself to be a serious Type A planner, I’m enjoying having a longer engagement so far because I don’t have to worry about deciding on vendors quickly. In fact, I took a one-month hiatus from searching for a florist when I found myself getting stressed over finding the perfect vendor who fit our style and budget. Somehow, “saying yes to the dress” has been one of the easiest decisions I’ve made related to our wedding and the one that I thought about the least!

shelleys-wedding
Dawn’s friend, Shelley is wearing a wedding dress from Mariolka’s Bridal Boutique, which inspired her  to shop for her  dress there. Dawn is  also in this picture as one of Shelley’s  bridesmaids! (Image:  Jack Bates Photography)

It all started with my friend Shelley’s wedding (pictured above) in December 2016. Shelley has been one of my best friends and fashion gurus for over 10 years! She got her gorgeous wedding dress at Mariolka’s Bridal Boutique, so naturally I started following the store on social media when I got engaged.

One Sunday in May, Harley and I were relaxing at the pool, and I saw an advertisement on my Facebook newsfeed that Mariolka’s was having a huge sale to make room for the 2017 collections. I figured that I probably wouldn’t find anything because I wasn’t “ready” to look for a wedding dress. I hadn’t started “sweating for the wedding” yet like many brides do, my Wedding Dress Board on Pinterest only had about five pins on it, and I didn’t have wedding dress shopping on my planning timeline until at least August when I would be eleven months away from the big day. I also didn’t want to get too excited because Mariolka’s is a very high-end boutique, which I thought would be out of my price range. Regardless, I made plans to go to Mariolka’s that Tuesday after work with Shelley and my mom. It felt strange going without my sister because I was very much involved with her wedding dress shopping experience, but she lives four hours away and I didn’t want to miss out on the sale!

Continue ReadingContinue Reading

What you need to know about getting married within the United Synagogue

by

karen-intro-image
It’s all well and good to put all of your time and attention into flowers and party favours but the most important part of your wedding is your ceremony. The ceremony has had VIP status for both Elliot and I since we started planning because it’s a massive moment in our lives, and we want to take as much from it as we can.

We have organised our music choices, selected our rings and met with my Rabbi from Dublin, Rabbi Lent who I’ve known for many years, to discuss the ceremony. He has been very accommodating to our questions and requests about the ceremony and followed up with us on a wedding What’s App thread! All of this sounds lovely but there were some important things to organise, which, if you choose to get married within the United Synagogue*, you’ll also need to know…

I didn’t know much about Jewish marriage laws until I started “marriage lessons”, which I was encouraged to take from my Rabbi. These sessions are organised by the United Synagogue  and their co-ordinator connects you with one of their tutors who relates to your level of observation, to explain the marriage laws to you. The boys need to do them too, and you don’t have to go to classes together.

synagogue-wedding
My married friends have all been to these classes and while you might say that “it’s not for you”, I found the information given to me about the laws of Niddah (purity) and its purpose (to help a couple to focus on their marriage) to be enlightening and stringent but not as awkward as I had anticipated.

Maybe it was my lovely tutor, a lady a few years older than I, who with seven children had time to organise baking parties and sit with me for an hour a week (I had six lessons, but you can have less if you want), without a wrinkle in sight! For some, this may seem like a waste of time as it’s something you’ll never abide by, but the customs and symbolic references will excite every bride-to-be (for example, white is worn because you are like an angel on your wedding day and given a sin-free state…result!)

Continue ReadingContinue Reading

What is a Jew-ish wedding? It’s whatever you want it to be…

by

lauren-intro-image
In my opinion the important part of any wedding is the actual ceremony itself. Many people can get lost in the details of the party that comes after and the ceremony just happens through the guidance of a rabbi, priest or registrar. However when you are getting married to someone of a different faith (or no faith at all) then there are some significant choices to be made.

This was something John and I discussed before we were even engaged and knew there was one non-negotiable element to our wedding day. We wanted a chuppah. I had discussed the Jewish wedding ceremony with John who is atheist (unless football is considered a religion??) and we both loved the chuppah’s representation of our first home together, supported by our family and friends. It is universal and whilst it comes from a practice of my Jewish heritage, it also will represent the joining of our two families.

interfaith-jewish-wedding
Missy  & Yoni’s  Jew-ish  wedding ceremony. Click here to read their wedding story

Jew-ish wedding ceremony  options

One thing we weren’t certain of was what the ceremony itself would comprise of. I knew that there wouldn’t be an affiliated rabbi (someone connected to a synagogue organisation) in the UK who would be able to conduct a ceremony or a blessing under a chuppah. Initially I was very frustrated by this. I felt that it was ridiculous that a non-Jewish couple could choose to get married under a canopy after seeing it at a Jewish wedding and liking the symbolism, but I was not able to have a legal wedding or blessing conducted by a rabbi under the same symbolic chuppah.

We could easily have had a civil wedding and then a Jewish blessing straight away, but I didn’t want a long meaningless ceremony followed by a Jewish blessing AND not under a chuppah. Our guests would get bored and so would I for that matter! Many options were bandied about. A civil ceremony earlier on in the day with close family and a blessing that we would invite our guests to? Just a civil ceremony with some sort of Jewish readings? But we didn’t like any of these ideas, they didn’t mean anything to us and I felt like me, my bridesmaids and my mum might need that extra time earlier in the day to put on our war paint! We wanted our wedding to mean something special to us and represent who we are. We said no to the two ceremonies in one day and no to the rabbis.

We decided that we were going to get married legally a few days before our wedding day in a registry office near where we live, just with our close family, and then have a ceremony that truly represents us. This meant that we would be able to get married under a chuppah, with whatever elements we choose and get our family and friends fully involved.

We decided that we wanted to have sheva brachot (seven blessings) written and given to us during the ceremony by seven members of our family and friends, so they will be truly personal to us, a chuppah that we will make ourselves that will showcase the family and friends that have helped to shape us individually until now and John will smash that glass at the end of the ceremony.

Other than that we were excited about all the extra details we would be able to add to our ceremony. But who could we get to ‘officiate’ this ceremony? So along came my charismatic brother Josh who we felt would be a perfect ‘officiant’ for a wedding with his witty banter and strong understanding of Jewish practice and ease of speech that would ensure that all our guests would understand what was going on. Josh has been instrumental in creating this ceremony, yet he still wants to keep a few secrets from John and I. Initially this scared the controlling me, but once I gave him a list of the basic bits we want included and the people we wanted involved, I realised my brother wouldn’t mess up such an important part of the day and let him carry on with his scheming.

Continue ReadingContinue Reading

Is it ok to use vendors with no Jewish wedding experience for a Jewish wedding?

by

fran-intro-image
When the first quote came in for a photographer and it was three times more than what we had budgeted for, I started to panic. Had our dreams of a relaxed, fun Jewish wedding on a budget been just that…a dream? Was it possible to have what we wanted within the constraints of our budget? I started to doubt the whole process and realised that we were now going to have to go down another route in our quest to find the vendors that would be able to create the wedding we wanted.

Rather than using vendors I had heard of from other Jewish weddings I took a different approach to my search. Using a range of wedding blogs and ‘real wedding’ write ups I collated a list of vendors that people had used and loved. Vendors  who hadn’t worked on  a Jewish wedding but had had the style of wedding we were hoping to have.

jewish-wedding
Choosing a photographer without Jewish wedding experience

Photographs to me tell a story and should capture emotion and people in the moment. For my wedding photographs it was so important that this was the case. I was recommended Razia Jukes by my Mother in Law-to-be who had been at a wedding she was photographing. She said that she was really relaxed and the photos she had been beautiful — this all sounded perfect to me! I soon discovered that Razia features on loads of the blogs I read and I was able to see a big range of her photographs — which were exactly what I was looking for. They told a story with such emotion and love I had pretty much made up my mind before even meeting her!

Razia has never photographed  a Jewish wedding and at first this did worry me. At a Jewish wedding there are those key moments you know you want included: The badeken, the breaking of the glass, up on chairs for the Hora; and for most people knowing that the photographer knows when these moments will happen is a reassurance people want on their wedding day.  But hey, I love a challenge and when we went to meet Razia I realised that it wouldn’t be a problem. We spent a lot of the meeting talking in detail about the ceremony sharing and how the day would run. Her enthusiasm about the different components and their meaning was really reassuring and also made me even more excited about our wedding!

For Razia it isn’t ‘just another Jewish wedding’ and that makes it more special for me. I can’t wait for her to be a part of our day and to see the pictures she takes for us!

razia-jukes-wedding
Choosing  a  wedding venue that has never  hosted a Jewish wedding

This kind of set the ball rolling for Gid and I in our vendor search. After that initial panic we soon realised that with a bit more research, and a willingness to take risks, we could find the vendors we wanted that fitted with our theme, that were in budget and were a high quality.

I feel like now is a good time to mention that our venue, Lillibrooke Manor, has  also never hosted  a Jewish wedding and again they seem genuinely thrilled to be arranging  what they see as a new venture for them into the world of Jewish weddings. Initially they had some ideas of how we could set up our ceremony to fit everyone into the space. The ideas were focused on getting in the most amount of people rather than creating the atmosphere we were looking for. When I sat down and went through the ceremony with them they came up with a completely unique idea that we hadn’t thought of before.

They had taken from my description the importance of everyone being involved in the ceremony and that it was about being able to see what was going on just as much as being able to hear what was going on. I am so excited to bring together our vison for the wedding in the most beautiful venue. I know it is going to be incredibly magical and the venue have been really flexible and open to all of our ideas in order to bring together our Jewish wedding with the quirky, rustic barn feel that we want to achieve.

lillibrooke-manor
Continue ReadingContinue Reading

Real Jewish Brides: How I selected all my wedding vendors in under 10 weeks

by

DARA-INTRO-IMAGE
We got engaged in January, and within 10 weeks, I had booked  all  our wedding vendors. I know, I know. That seems super fast, and a lot of brides are curious to know how I made such quick decisions in such a little amount of time, so I’m here to share my secrets…..

To preface, Alex and I are tying the knot across the country (in the USA) from where we currently live (think 3,700+ km). Rather than having the luxury of meeting potential vendors in person over coffee, at their respective studios, as many brides do, it meant that I was left with word-of-mouth referrals, online reviews, and phone conversations as the sole resources to make my final decision.

To be perfectly honest, the only vendor I really cared about meeting in person was the photographer, and of course seeing the venue IRL (in real life). The biggest challenge, in my opinion, is pin pointing where you want the wedding to be. The venue! And it’s true with what they say — Once you have that locked down, the rest sort of falls in line.

Securing a venue gives you a date and a place. You literally cannot do anything without those two. Picking our venue was slightly overwhelming, but once we stepped foot on Tubac Golf Resort and Spa, we knew we hit the jackpot. As I said before, we loved everything about it, and it incorporated everything both Alex and I envisioned for our wedding. We signed our contract within a week of our return flight to Washington, DC. Boom! We had our venue.

OK, so moving onto the other vendors: photographer, cake baker, musicians, florist, and a wedding planner! Now that’s when the ten weeks of non-stop planning really began.

Luckily Tubac had a list of their preferred vendors, folks that are (1) reasonably priced, (2) familiar with the space, staff, and (3) previous brides had been happy with — all aspects are important to a bride-to-be. I used Tubacs preferred vendor list as a springboard in my hunt.  I decided to focus on one vendor category at a time, and went in the order of which vendors I booked.

how-to-select-wedding-vendors
Wedding Planner

Before I began with anything else, I figured that I wanted to secure a wedding planner. Someone to assist not only the day-of, but also guide me through the planning stages.

I had two phone interviews with two women who had been in the business for a long, long time which is great. I wanted someone with years of experience under their belt. They were both wonderful, but one wasn’t available on our wedding date to assist with day-of coordination, and the other was highly recommended by Tubac. It was a no brainer. We hired Jeri, our wedding planner and moved on.

Continue ReadingContinue Reading