Top image: Melanie Duerkopp
All other images: Jackie King taken from Amy Schreibman Walter ‘s Hen party
Like any woman in her late 30’s, I’ve attended lots of hen parties over the years. At many of them, I’ve watched a friend, surrounded by her close friends and family (and, often, her future mother in law) partake in embarrassing hen party activities. I’ve witnessed sweaty male strippers sitting on the laps of brides-to-be, bewildered future brides eating platefuls of penis pasta…the list goes on…and, honestly, it all makes me cringe a bit. Call me a party pooper, but so many hen parties I’ve attended have felt more like a seedy night out than anything else, an evening where the bride-to-be is coerced somehow into taking on a sexualised role, as are her friends and family.
Often, inherent in the planning process of hen parties is the idea that the bride-to-be should end up at least a little bit intoxicated, or cavorting with a male that is not her future husband. This kind of hen party doesn’t honour the bride to-be for the woman she is. I see the seedy hen party as a wasted opportunity. A hen party can serve an important purpose —it can be a meaningful celebration of your single years — a milestone event that respectfully calls that time in your life to a close as you begin a new chapter. For my hen party, I wanted to gather the women who had been there for me during my single years — friends and family members who had listened to my stories of bad dates and failed relationships, offered advice and support and generally been a positive force. I wanted my hen party to be a chance to pay tribute to my single years and to raise a toast to the women who had been such a part of them.
Timing is everything
When planning my party, I couldn’t have predicted that it would turn out to be one of the best nights of my life. I arranged the hen party so it happened just a few days before my wedding, which meant that friends who were flying in from other countries for the wedding could attend the hen party, too. Friends then timed their flights to arrive for my hen party and then just stayed on a few more days for the wedding.
