Like so many couples over the past few years, Rachel and Ben’s plans for their Jewish wedding were upended by the pandemic. Rachel, who works in the Senate, and Ben, who runs a tech startup, ended up with a celebration – or rather, two celebrations – that looked a lot different than what they’d initially planned.
But both their March 2021 family-only micro ceremony and their October 2021 reception for a larger crowd were SO full of love and joy, we can’t imagine anything better. We’re in love with the photos by Berit Bizjak (March) and Phillip Van Nostrand (October). And how amazing is it that all eight grandparents were present to witness Rachel and Ben’s marriage?!
And of course we’re totally obsessed with the pair’s beautiful hand papercut ketubah by Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Noa Attias! Rachel and Ben are thrilled to have such a gorgeous and meaningful piece of art to commemorate their bond, and they loved working with Noa, who was super flexible with their constantly changing wedding date! The duo have become such fans of Noa that they’ve purchased more of her fabulous art since their big day.
Now over to the bride…
How we Met
Rachel, the bride: We met as undergraduate students in NYC when Rachel was set up with Ben to accompany him to a dance in the spring of 2013, and we started dating that fall. The rest is history!
An Outdoor Venue
For context, we had a family-only ceremony on March 24, 2021 and a reception with all of our friends and family on October 23, 2021. Like so many others, we changed our original plans due to covid. We are extremely fortunate to have all eight grandparents, and it was very important to us that they witness our marriage. Moreover, Ben’s mother was diagnosed with leukemia during covid, so it became even more important to have our wedding ceremony while she was in remission.
All of that led us to choose to have a family-only ceremony in March, with the hope of having a party later. Our most important loved ones were healthy and vaccinated and able to witness our wedding, and for that we are eternally grateful. We were fortunate to be able to schedule another event for October, and lucky that by then it was safe to have more friends and family attend a celebration.
Indian Trail Club in Franklin Lakes, NJ near Rachel’s hometown. The space is beautiful and has large windows and so much natural light. Our original pre-covid wedding plans were supposed to entail a ceremony and cocktail hour outside, which was not feasible with our new plan in a cold month. We were very grateful that even though the ceremony was inside, it had the look and feel of being outdoors. There are so many beautiful outdoor spots for photos, which we braved the cold for a few minutes to utilize.
The manager at Indian Trail Club was so amazing to work with and extremely accommodating. She knew exactly what to do for a covid wedding, even though this came together fairly last minute. She was eager to make our original wedding dreams come true to the best of her ability in this new and unexpected situation. We had extra safety concerns with immunocompromised and elderly family members, and she and the venue made our day as worry free as possible.
Our October reception was at Glasshouse Chelsea, which is a very quintessential NYC space. The walls are entirely windows, lending 360° views of NYC and the Hudson River. It was the perfect space for the number of people and type of party we had, and the balcony was an added bonus for some fresh air, views, and conversation. The women we worked with at Glasshouse were also very accommodating and worked closely with us as our plans were evolving. We moved to Washington DC a few months ago and are really missing NYC, so we were thrilled to be back for such a special occasion. It was only right we have this party in New York!
Celebrating Love
No theme or style or planner. The color scheme for the ceremony was based around the flowers, which were a little wintry with a hint of spring, mirroring our late March wedding date. The bouquets, boutonnieres, and chuppah flowers were all greens, whites, and blues. In October, we went with more of a colorful fall scheme for the bouquet and flowers around the room. I enjoyed the opportunity to experiment with more than one color palette, and our florist did a wonderful job both times!
This party was to celebrate our wedding (obviously), but it was also a celebration of the ability to have everyone together in one room, after all we’ve been through over the last year and a half. We didn’t do a ceremony in October, it was just one big party with continuous food and drinks and dancing! We were so grateful for every single person who came to celebrate with us after already watching our ceremony over zoom, and it was really meaningful to have our friends and family together.
We’re all simultaneously living this shared experience of a global pandemic, yet everyone has their own unique covid stories, highs, and lows. We wanted to take this opportunity to appreciate and celebrate every achievement and milestone, from graduations, to marriages, to new jobs/homes/pets/children/hobbies that was overshadowed by the pandemic. This was a reminder that even throughout the most difficult stretches, there are still reasons to celebrate, and we SHOULD celebrate! Summed up well by Albus Dumbledore- “Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
Invitations / stationery
We used Paperless Post for online invitations, for both events. A cost effective, yet fun and customizable option!
Hair + Make-up
Hair and makeup for March was booked through Moxie Salon because they were near our original wedding venue. They were kind enough to travel to Indian Trail Club when the plans changed, and additionally came to my house for a trial so we could do it in the garage with the doors open (in the cold!), in a covid-safe way in a world before vaccines. My hair is naturally curly and I often wear it pulled half back, so we kept that basic concept and added some twists and decorative bobby pins. For makeup, we kept it looking pretty natural since I don’t wear a lot of makeup on a regular basis.
For our October reception, I got recommendations from Michelle Champagne (March makeup artist) for NYC-based hair and makeup artists. I worked with Rosa Amoedo (hair) and Rachel Whitehurst (makeup), both of whom were amazing, kind, and accommodating! I kept the hair and makeup style generally the same.
A Casablanca Bridal Dress
I got my dress from Bijou Bridal in Paramus, NJ. The designer was Casablanca Bridal, style 2356 Madelyn. I cannot emphasize how lucky I was to find my dress! Since we were planning the March ceremony on short notice we were scrambling to shop, and I didn’t necessarily have time to find “the one.” I found one at Bijou that I (and my mom) liked, and on top of that I was miraculously able to walk out of the store with it, and it was on sale!
Those factors combined were enough to convince me it was meant to be, not that I had much time to keep shopping anyway. The tailor worked amazingly quickly to make the slight modifications necessary, and I was so happy with the final product. Even better, I got to wear it more than once, which not many brides can say!
Accessories
Veil- my mom’s, Wedding band- my grandmother’s, Decorative bobby pins from Amazon, Earrings from Etsy
The veil and wedding band were an easy choice with their sentimental value. For the bobby pins and earrings, there are SO many options out there and I needed something that would arrive quickly, so I turned to two of my favorite and affordable online shopping websites. As usual, neither failed me!
Shoes
Sparkly white with a rose gold heel, for a classic look with a little kick and glitter! For the party in October I also bought comfortable shoes to wear for dancing, which were espadrilles with a white lace toe.
The handsome groom
Ben wore a blue suit that he barely had the chance to wear once pre-covid, so we were thrilled to have an opportunity for him to wear it again. He wore a green tie that we got the week prior, which coordinated well with the flowers, and a pair of very sharp Allen Edmonds shoes.
Bridesmaids
Because of covid the only people outside of our family in attendance were the two witnesses, who are our very close friends. They chose what they wore, and were unintentionally color coordinated with the rest of us!
Ceremony
We are very lucky to have all eight of our grandparents still with us, so to celebrate that and honor them we incorporated something from each set into our ceremony. Rachel’s wedding band was her maternal grandmother’s, Ben’s wedding band was his paternal grandfather’s, the tallis was Ben’s maternal grandfather’s, and the kiddish cup was Rachel’s maternal grandfather’s. We had some of the usual traditions like circling seven times and breaking the glass, but in the name of equity we each did half the circling and each stepped on a glass.
I’ve known our Rabbi, Lenny Mandel, since I was about 10 years old, it was such an honor to have him officiate our wedding and everyone who watched our wedding loved him!
Ketubah
Our ketubah is a beautiful hand papercut design by Noa Attias. We are over the moon obsessed with it, as it everyone who sees it! It is such a gorgeous work of art that we now have hanging proudly in our bedroom. Noa worked with us to customize the design and the background colors, and she was so kind and flexible when our wedding date kept changing. We’ve since ordered other things from her because we love her work so much!
Chuppah
We kept the blue/green/white theme for the chuppah flowers and used birch wood for the posts to give it a light springy look. Our florist worked with us to pick the flowers and their arrangement, which was largely based off some googling and some creativity on her part.
Our Music Choice
We (and our parents) are big Billy Joel fans, which informed most of our choices. Ben’s sister is a professional violist and she played a version of ‘You’re My Home’ for our processional. Our first dance was to ‘She’s Got a Way’ (which we also duplicated in October), and our dance with our parents was to ‘Just the Way You Are’. Our recessional was the only non-Billy Joel song, we walked out to ‘Siman Tov u’Mazal Tov’.
Flowers
We worked with Maricela Grisales at Decor Galore, which is based right near Rachel’s parents’ house in Woodcliff Lake, NJ. She brought our ideas to life for the bouquets, boutonnieres, and chuppah and made both rooms and both cakes look beautiful. I couldn’t tell you the names of most of the flowers, but my favorite parts of my March bouquet were probably the air plant and the blue thistle.
Maricela worked with us again in October and did an outstanding job on my bouquet. She brought to life exactly what I wanted, colorful with a fall vibe, and incorporating things she remembered I liked from last time like blue thistle and succulents. I loved it! She also decorated the room a bit with some more fall themed bouquets and table displays, it really looked lovely.
Photographer and videographer
In March, our photographer was Berit Bizjak, our videographer was Peter Ferriero (PF Weddings), and our streaming was done by Gabriel Rhodes (GR Productions). The streaming came together at the last minute and we are so grateful with how it turned out! Gabe had already streamed many covid weddings and the audio and video quality really exceeded expectations. All of our guests watching over zoom said they felt like they were there, and that meant a lot to us.
For photography, we had worked with Berit for our engagement shoot, and she was accommodating when we had to change the plan. I really wanted to do outdoor photos and was disappointed to find out it was raining, but Berit and her assistant were willing to brave the rainy cold for a few outdoor shots. Additionally, Berit kindly offered to do another shoot with us at the venue at a later date when it wasn’t raining, so we ultimately got the outdoor shots we wanted.
Berit was unavailable for our October date, so we worked with Phillip Van Nostrand, a NYC-based photographer for our reception. We had a lot of fun with this shoot! We went to the high line before the party to get some outdoor shots, and also utilized the balcony at Glasshouse for some river and skyline shots.
Food and Cake
We got our cake from neighborhood bakery A Little Cake where we’ve been going for years. They did a really nice job with the design, which was simple but elegant. After the ceremony, everyone went back to Rachel’s parents’ house for a dinner catered by the amazing Laura Baertschi at When Food Loves You Back. Laura was at the house cooking all day while we were at the wedding, and she had prepared and unbelievable amount of delicious appetizers, main courses, and desserts in that time. Everyone was raving about the food and somehow the kitchen was left spotless afterwards, Laura is truly a wizard! We have since booked her for other events and meals and are constantly looking for excuses to enjoy her cooking.
For our October reception, we worked with Abigail Kirsch catering and coordinated with them to have the food be entirely passed for a cocktail style party. The food and execution were both amazing, and it kept the party flowing for non-stop dancing!
Entertainment
Aside from Ben’s sister playing us down the aisle, we didn’t have entertainment for the March ceremony. At our October reception, we had Silver Pro Entertainment. We were really excited to work with them in our original wedding plans, which was supposed to involve a large band. That band couldn’t fit in the room for the pared back reception, but Silver Pro was kind enough to work with us to have a hybrid DJ/live music setup, knowing how badly we still wanted to have a live music component. They were great and had everyone on their feet!
Extra details
Rachel’s mom Gail did an amazing job thinking of all the little details. There was a welcome table with photos of Rachel and Ben along with a sign in book, which we duplicated on a larger scale in October. Gail also coordinated a zoom with Rachel’s closest friends while she was getting ready, knowing how much Rachel was missing having everyone there in person. For the recessional, Gail gave everyone white rose petals to throw, which was very fun and made for cute photos!
The witnesses (our friends Dan and Dani) secretly snuck our car away to decorate it with ribbons and bows and a “just married” decal, which was adorable. And for the best surprise of them all: our family friend was dog sitting for us, and she surprised us by bringing our dog Daphne to the venue so she could be in some photos with us after the ceremony was over! We were absolutely thrilled to see our baby, as you can tell by the photos.
I did not make a bride’s speech at this wedding, but I did at the October reception. Everyone else (each parent, both witnesses, and Ben’s sister) gave speeches in March and there was not a dry eye in the physical or virtual room.
Overall this was not even close to the original wedding we had envisioned, but everyone worked really hard to make it as “normal” and festive and fun as possible, and for that we are eternally grateful. Both events were beautiful under less-than-ideal circumstances, and we feel extremely lucky that everyone in our families was healthy and able to witness and partake in our special days.
Honeymoon
We’d love to visit Japan when the time is right. Immediately following our wedding Rachel surprised Ben with a few nights at a B&B on the NJ/PA border out in “the country” for some quiet time away. They made sure to be back in time for the family Passover seder, which was conveniently that weekend!
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
Though all the little details seem important and in aggregate make the day beautiful, they don’t ultimately matter and are not worth losing sleep over. None of the guests notice them as much as you do, so as long as you and your loved ones are happy and healthy and having a good time, you’ve come out ahead of the game! That said, if you have a close friend or family member you can count on for triaging unexpected/tense/stressful situations, that can be very helpful. We accidentally forgot to bring our rings into the room before the ceremony, but Dani (my witness) didn’t skip a beat and saved the day!
RACHEL & BEN’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK
Photography – March: Berit Bizjak; October: Phillip Van Nostrand
Ketubah – Noa Attias {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Videography – PF Weddings
Streaming – GR Productions
Venue – March: Indian Trail Club; October: Glasshouse Chelsea
Bride’s dress – Casablanca Bridal found at Bijou Bridal
Bride’s accessories – earrings: Etsy
Groom’s attire – Tie Bar, Suit Supply, Allen Edmonds
Hair + Makeup – March: Moxie Salon Michelle Champagne); October: Rosa Amoedo, Rachel Whitehurst
Flowers – Decor Galore
DJ / Live music October: Silver Pro Entertainment
Catering – March: When Food Loves You Back; October: Abigail Kirsch
Cake – A Little Cake
Stationery/Invitation – Paperless Post
Rabbi – Lenny Mandel
If you’re a Jewish or Jew-ish bride-to-be, you’ll want to join Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club. Guided by the world’s number 1 Jewish wedding expert, Karen Cinnamon, Brides Club is the private community for Jewish and Jew-ish brides that removes wedstress and indecision and gives you what you need to plan with confidence during these uncertain times. Join our Brides Club here.
