Today on the blog we’re introducing our 2nd gorgeous bride from our crop of 2020 Real Jewish Brides! Please give a warm welcome to Alexandra, who will be marrying Ian on 10th May 2020 at La Corte Dei Messapi in Ostuni, Puglia, Italy.
THREE FACTS: THREE FACTS: (1) Alexandra and Ian are planning an intimate black-tie destination wedding for 60 of their nearest and dearest in Puglia, Italy. (2) Alexandra is Jewish, and Ian is in the process of converting to Judaism. (3) Alexandra is a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!
How we met
Ian and I met when I was a junior at Sarah Lawrence College. Our first date went horribly… I was two hours late because I was babysitting. I still invited him to the opening of an art fair with me a few days later.
The event ended up being right under his work, like I didn’t know, so he agreed to go. I failed to mention that it was a formal event so he showed up in cut off shorts. Shockingly the date went amazing and we shared our first kiss on the High Line that night.
Our Dating Days
Ian has been my cheerleader through many of the moments that have come to define my adult life from college to graduate school to my first real job. He has been right by my side. During our first holiday season together he joined my family for the holidays.
It was also the year that my cousins were leaving North America for New Zealand, so it was very high emotion. He somehow made it through those two nights with my family and obviously stuck around.
From that point on I knew he could be part of my family and he has truly become one of us. Which is honestly pretty brave because my family is loud and opinionated while his family is far more subdued.
I was shocked by the quiet in his childhood home when I went to visit. I wondered how these people got their point across without yelling.
Ian went to Italy with my family several years ago and on the first night him and my mom got into an argument that lasted the whole dinner.
He was afraid for what the rest of the next two weeks would bring, he thought he had really insulted my mother.
Immediately after dinner my mom came to our hotel room to watch the Olympic Opening Ceremony and acted like nothing had happened because nothing really had that is just how my family operates.
In that moment I know Ian started to realize what my family is about. We may yell at each other and argue viciously for our side but at the end of the day we love each other and cherish our time together.
I hope Ian and I can continue to have the same passionate discussions in our marriage but at the end of the day come back together. We only argue because we care.
My youngest sister Frankie moved to New York three years ago for school and she has really become our third wheel. She is always willing to join us for a movie or any free activity. During this time she and Ian have become very close. She considers herself his best friend, he has yet to confirm this.
Our life together has been filled with countless visits to art museums and galleries which is probably why we got engaged at one. One of our favorite activities when I was in college was buying a ticket to one movie but sneaking into three more. This behavior stopped when Moviepass came into existence, RIP Moviepass.
Our relationship has of course had tough moments and shake ups but those moments have only made us grow closer together.
Two years ago, Ian took me on a trip through Amsterdam and Paris. Along the way, we made a stop at the painter Monet’s farmhouse in Giverny, a place I had dreamed of going since I was a child.
Despite the larger-than-expected crowd, Ian managed to find a secluded spot near the water lily ponds (so secluded that I was questioning why we were heading in that direction).
I figured it out as soon as Ian dropped to his knee and pulled the ring box. We both teared up, kissed, and then spent the afternoon doing our own photoshoot all through the gardens and manor.
Our Ideas and Hopes for the Wedding
We would like to have a wedding that plays into the beauty of our event space/villa for the week, La Corte Dei Messapi in Puglia, Italy. Our ceremony will have many traditional Jewish elements but with a modern twist.
Some examples: we will both be smashing the glass, we will have a less traditional reading of the seven blessings and we will both walk three circles around each other during the ceremony and one together. We want to enter our marriage as equal partners and by changing some traditions we are symbolizing that.
We are currently working on finding a rabbi who will help us turn this vision into a reality.
We envision the party to be filled with lots of dancing and simcha. My aunt Lu is truly a dancing queen and will get everyone onto the dance floor with her.
A lot of the style elements of the wedding have not been handled yet because no one has gotten to visit the villa yet but my parents will be doing so in a few weeks for their 35th wedding anniversary.
We imagine our wedding going late into the night filled with dancing, drinking, eating and most importantly joy. We want our guests to leave our wedding feeling as though they know us better as a couple.
By getting married we want to officially solidify the commitment we have made to each other over the past six years.
Click here to read all Alexandra’s planning posts to date.
Alexandra and Ian’s Wedding Vendors booked so far:
Venue – La Corte Dei Messapi