TIP #21: Keeping your family happy is really important. Talk openly and honestly with your family about what you expect a wedding to be like. It took us a long time to understand the differences between Turkish, Israeli and British cultural understandings of what a wedding is and should be, but once we did, we were able to make agreements, compromises and creative decisions.
When I met Karen from Smashing The Glass after her On the Sofa talk at Brides The Show she shared some golden advice: “No one can tell you what you should focus on, find the things that are important to you (don’t say everything… prioritise!) and focus your energy on those things.”
We found that creating a meaningful ceremony and chuppah, making the whole experience accessible and fun for people, and bringing out the garden theme in fun, quirky ways, were our priorities, so we always kept the big picture in sight. And we gave up on some really cool ideas, but that didn’t matter. Perspective is important.
Forgive each other (that goes for partners and families alike!) Everyone’s under pressure, not just from planning the day but for the big changes a marriage signifies. Even though people live out of home for a long time, marriage can mark a subconscious transition and a sign of independence from parents and siblings, so while people might seem angry, stressed or upset, it’s often all part of the process. You will forget it all when it’s over!
On the day, zoom out, but also be present. Enjoy it, soak in the experience, and talk about them over the following days. Ask your friends about their experiences too – they will have totally different stories and angles that will enrich your memories.
Practical stuff: website RSVPs are amazing, don’t do paper; create a joint email address; divide responsibilities; don’t get ‘analysis paralysis’ over tiny details, sometimes you just need to trust your gut and make a decision; and do ask for (but not demand!) help – our Team Wedding were incredible, and we received so many offers of practical help that made a huge difference to our sanity.
Real STG bride, Debbie. Read all about her lovebird-themed super cool Jewish wedding here.
TIP #20: “It’s easy to get lost down the rabbit hole of research online and overwhelmed with quotes. Only contact your top 3 suppliers for quotes and then choose from them.I met every one of our major suppliers in person. Don’t forget that it’s not just the product you’re buying, but the service — ask yourself: are they the kind of person that you’d like involved in your big day, do I like working with them? If not, don’t book them!”
Ros (married at the ICA in London). Read all about her London-themed contemporary cool Jewish wedding here.
TIP #19: “It’s easy to get lost down the rabbit hole of research online and overwhelmed with quotes. Only contact your top 3 suppliers for quotes and then choose from them.”
Ros (married at the ICA in London). Read all about her London-themed contemporary cool Jewish wedding here.
TIP #18: “Look out for ‘holiday’ online deals e.g. we bought our stationery online at Christmas, Prosecco on bank holidays, sign up for e-newsletters and use those discount codes!”
Ros (married at the ICA in London). Read all about her London-themed contemporary cool Jewish wedding here.
TIP #17: “Don’t be afraid to negotiate wherever you can on prices. Suppliers are open to this, so ask! If they won’t give you discount, then what else can they include in the price?”
Ros (married at the ICA in London). Read all about her London-themed contemporary cool Jewish wedding here.
TIP #16: “A lot of people have will come out of the woodwork to give you their input regarding how the wedding should be planned. Remember that it’s your wedding, stick to your instincts and plan together, so when it comes to the wedding day you and your guests feel a piece of both of you in the adventure.”
Suzi (married at The Madonna Inn, California ). Read all about her Persian-American playful, glittery wedding here.
TIP #15: “My only advice would be to have fun, try not to freak out, and don’t sweat the small stuff. At the end of the day, nobody remembers whether or not the LED votives you bought were cute or not, they remember the food, the music, and most importantly, the vibe of the group you’ve brought together. They remember the party! “
Niki (married at Santa Margarita Ranch, California ). Read all about her super-fun wedding here.
TIP #14: “Make decisions based on what makes you happy, not on what others recommend or what’s perceived to be sensible, suitable or the done thing. Don’t settle for ‘it’s nice’ and never ever let yourself utter the words “it’ll do”. Think about the things you really love, not those you simply like, and if thats’s a certain bloom or shade then build theme around it. The best weddings capture the heart, soul and style of the couple — colour co-ordinated or not. It’s OK to take inspiration from another bride’s amazing taste, but add a pinch of your own magic to make it still all about you. Don’t get caught up too much in current ‘trends’ and don’t stray away from your usual unique style. We advise couples to look to their home dà©cor and every-day wardrobes if they find the abundance of theming and styling options overwhelming, there’s no reason you have to completely change your look for your wedding, it should be a reflection of you and the things that you love.”
Spot-on advice from Wedding blogger, Charlotte O’Shea from Rock My Wedding
TIP #13: “When deciding on the style of your wedding have a collection of personal details in mind so you can ensure the day is a true reflection of you both as a couple. From favourite songs, colours, movies, moments and quotes — that is what makes the your day truly unique!”
Wise words from the Events Lounge team.
TIP #12: “Never fear asking for help – everyone wants to get involved and it’s an honour for most. Go the extra mile because it will be with you forever. We found a lot of people default to ‘it’s your wedding, do what you want’, which is true but we considered it for everyone we invited. Being inclusive was the key to an unforgettable day”
Stacey (married at the Dome Cinema in West Sussex ). Her NYE Fancy Dress Jewish Wedding can be seen on Smashing The Glass here.
TIP #11: “I think for many brides a wedding can be a wonderful chance to really explore your creativity and find yourself, particularly if you work in the professions and have never had the chance. My top tip? Only invite the people who love you and won’t judge you, and then you can take all the creative risks you want with your wedding!”
Fiona Campbell, the wedding writer and photographer.
TIP #10: “My one word of advice would be not to stress and enjoy every second. I was incredibly nervous and am not particularly good at being centre of attention and so did get myself into a little bit of a tizz simply worrying about nothing. I would highly recommend the night before setting up a zone of tranquillity as my mum did for me- a hot bath, aromatherapy oil, gorgeous smelling candle, homely PJs, your favourite music, book and teddy bear if like me, at the age of 30, you still have one.”
Lou (married at Os Agosto in Portugal ). Her beautiful destination wedding with lots of lovely DIY ideas can be seen over at Rock My Wedding)
TIP #9: “The spiritual significance of a Jewish wedding is often lost in all the madness of putting it together. If there is one piece of advice I would give a bride it would be to try to experience the pure and sacred side of a Jewish wedding as much as possible.”
Shiri (married at Taboon in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City ). Read all about her intimate ‘surprise’ wedding here.
TIP #8: “Be yourself. Plan a wedding that reflects you and your partner, not a wedding you’ve seen in a magazine.”
Kat Williams, Founder of the legendary RocknRollBride wedding blog)
TIP #7: “My advice to brides who are busy planning: stay true to your heart & throw a rockin’ party! We loved incorporating things that were important to us in our wedding. Our recessional song was a song that Jonathan and I wrote together when we first started dating, and the favours were made by my Grandmother. Get all of your planning done ahead of time, hand over the reigns day-of, and enjoy your wedding for what it is: a celebration!”
Christina (married at Vesuvius Vineyards in Iron Station, North Carolina ). Her wedding, full of personal and handmade touches, can be seen over on Green Wedding Shoes)
TIP #6: “Do make sure you have good suppliers — it’s sometimes worth paying that little bit extra to ensure that you get what you want.” Liz (married at Cripps Barn in the Cotswolds ).
Her unbelievable beautifully branded wedding can be seen over at Rock My Wedding)
TIP #5: “Make the most of the weather, whatever it may be and use the weather as a photo prop. I had pretty parasols for rain or sun, and gold metallic wellies for splashing in puddles! I would say the same to anyone who is getting married. Before this advice I was so worried about the weather. After I had chosen these accessories, I was just excited to use them.”
Nicola (married at ‘The Crazy Bear’ in Stadhampton, Oxfordshire. Her wedding can be seen over on The Wedding Vine.)
TIP #4: “Don’t worry about double or even triple checking details with your suppliers, you’re not being annoying and this is what you are paying for. I wish I had taken my own advice on this one as some of the details on the day were lost due to some suppliers not being as efficient as I had hoped. You absolutely can’t please everybody and nor should you. This is your one opportunity to do things as you want and it’s the one time you should be allowed to make decisions without having to justify them. Real friends will understand and those that don’t aren’t worth losing any sleep over.”
Danielle (married at the Haymarket Hotel in London ). Her fashion-packed wedding, full of details can be seen over at Rock My Wedding)
TIP #3: “During the planning, we got sick of people saying ‘should’ — you should have this, you shouldn’t do that — so the only advice we can offer: there is no ‘should’. Do what you want, because no-one else will notice at the end of the day apart from you two. They will all have a good time regardless!”
Ali (married at home in Nottingham ). Her wedding, full of unique and personal details, can be seen over at Rock My Wedding)
TIP #2: “This is your wedding. Do what you love, Invite the people you want. Dance to the songs that bring you the most joy. Eat the best food you’ll ever have. Enjoy every moment. Share the photographs with your children and grandchildren. Most of all spend the rest of your days with the person you love.”
Deanna (married at Syon Park)
TIP #1: Wedding planning timeline for every organised bride: 
