It took me a long time to pluck up the courage to go on a date with someone I met online. Whenever I did I just seemed to meet weird men who gave me flowers in a Sainsbury’s bag or people that thought they were far superior to me and acted as if I was lucky to be in their presence… I was fed up.
It was about this time that John and I started chatting on match.com. After a few weeks of message chat John asked me to go on a date during my school’s half term break (I’m a teacher, not a student!) John couldn’t seem to wait the 5 days and kept pushing for a Valentine’s Day date the next day. I was not impressed by his pushiness and was about to tell him where to go. But my best friend told me I had nothing to lose, so I went. I turned up VERY late to the pub that was just opposite where I lived (a sure sign that I was not keen) and we hit it off instantly, bonding over cookies, practical jokes and our love of Lego.
We spent the next three weeks together with very little time apart and when my 30th birthday arrived, he took me for a romantic trip to The Shard and then the next day I thought I’d test him and drag him along to my parent’s house for a birthday tea and meet my ENTIRE family in one go. I was so surprised by how well he coped with all my family and knew there was someone very special there.
The more we spent time together, the more I fell for him. We had both been through some tough times individually and we seemed to find each other at the exact moment when we were back on the rise and ready for this new stage in our lives. I used to daydream that I would find someone who would be generous with his time whilst making me feel completely loved and protected. I didn’t ever think I would actually find that person… then along came John! I can remember the moment I knew I was going to marry him. I was dropping him off at work on the morning I was going away with a friend for a week and I couldn’t stop crying. Even though I was so excited to go on holiday, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling devastated about not seeing him for a whole seven days. I had never felt this way before about anyone and I think I shocked myself a little bit with how strongly I felt.
John and I come from very different backgrounds. I’ve been brought up in North West London and have had a lot of involvement professionally and personally in the Jewish community. My Jewish identity has been very strong from quite a young age and I think many people who know me always assumed that I would end up marrying a ‘Nice Jewish Guy’. I however never put that assumption on myself and have always said I would marry the person I fall in love with no matter where they are from. Little did I know I would fall for a ‘Bermondsey South Londoner’!
We may both be from London, but the North/South divide is very strong when it comes to London, never mind the religion! We both quickly integrated ourselves into each other’s families. My family was particularly surprised when John turned up one Friday night having learnt the Shabbat Blessings… From that point on he was firmly embedded in my family.
From quite early on we had discussed marriage and had a rough idea of when we wanted to get married. Things took a quick turn when I gained a teaching job in West London and decided we would move in together. For a variety of reasons we ended up living in a tiny studio flat near Twickenham. We thought if we could make it living that close to each other every day, then anything else would be a doddle. We made it through and last summer John went to a football match with my Dad (typical!) and asked him if we could get married. Luckily the legend that is my Dad said yes and two weeks later John took me on a surprise trip to The Shard again and proposed (surprise, surprise-ish!)
