Advice Archives - Smashing the Glass

QUIZ: What Type of Jewish Bride Are You?

20/07/2017 by Karen Cinnamon

Welcome to a very special post – our very first Jewish wedding quiz!

Figuring out your unique bridal style can be tricky – some brides are lucky enough to know exactly what they want, while most of us… well, let’s face it – there’s a lot of selection and it can be overwhelming, to say the least.

At Smashing The Glass, we firmly believe in letting your intuition do the talking – and, as they say, a picture’s worth a thousand words. So don’t think, just click on the pictures, following your instincts and take our very scientific (ahem) quiz and find out exactly which type of Jewish bride you are. You never know – the results may surprise you!Continue Reading

My Top 5 Dos and Don’ts for a Super-Cool Jewish Wedding

23/01/2014 by Karen

[ Image: Heather Kincaid ]

This is an article of mine that appeared in the December issue of Pulse Magazine and received its fair share of love so here it is in it’s online glory!

TOP 5 DO’S FOR A GREAT JEWISH WEDDING

DO expect to kick up a storm, and have your face glisten with glee (and sweat) during the ‘hora’, the joyous tradition of Jewish dancing. Just be careful not to fall off the chair, and make sure that those with a penchant for booze are not the ones nominated to lift you!

DO try to experience the pure and sacred side of a Jewish wedding as much as possible, as the spiritual significance is often lost in all the madness of putting it together.

DO create a Pinterest board to store all your wedding ideas in one place. Pinterest is your best friend when it comes to planning your big day as you can collect beautiful images and wedding design tips and paste them all in one place. Not only useful for you, your boards will also help give guidance to your suppliers. If you don’t want your whole social network to see the details of your wedding before the big day, use one of your private boards for your favourite ideas.

DO incorporate things into your wedding that are important to you. eg. A nostalgic song that brings back memories of when you first got together, favours made by you or a family member, table centres incorporating things that are personal to you as a couple, messages from guests woven into your chuppah design – the more individuality you stamp on your wedding, the better.

DO take time to be calm and in the moment of your day. Hand over the reigns, don’t think about any of the details and enjoy your wedding for what it is: a joyous celebration!

[ Image: Mi Belle Inc. ]

TOP 5 DON’TS FOR A GREAT JEWISH WEDDING

DON’T try to please everyone, meaning all the generations and the rabbi. You cannot and you should not. This is your opportunity to do things as you want and it’s a time to be making decisions without having to justify them or fit expectations. Real friends and family will understand and those that don’t aren’t worth losing any sleep over.

DON’T expect local guests to adhere to a black tie dress code if you’re getting married in Israel. They will show up in shorts, with a couple of unexpected extra kids in tow. That’s how they roll in the land of milk & honey! And another word of advice if you’re getting married in Israel, expect guests that confirmed attendance not to show up, and guests that were not invited to make an appearance instead. It happens!

DON’T think that you necessarily need a large bridal party of groomsmen and bridesmaids if that’s not your bag. What you do need is a circle of a few close friends to rely on for support, help, mini-errands and such-like on the day. Have a think on whom you’d like to enlist in the months or weeks leading up to your wedding – close friends and family will feel honoured and be only too happy to help.

DON’T invite too many people. Fewer and closely connected is better than inviting a cast of unknowns, and makes for a far more meaningful, intimate atmosphere.

DON’T follow the crowd. Be true to yourself and have the confidence to do things your way, whether that means incorporating something non-traditional into your ceremony, picking a weird theme or wearing a gown so impractical you can barely move. Go for it, this is your day!

5 great wedding planning reads for no-nonsense brides

06/09/2013 by Karen

Inspired by Sara’s wonderful advice to read The Conscious Bride by Sheryl Paul from her wedding report yesterday, I have put together a selection of books that I feel will inspire, educate, guide and entertain you on your way to creating a wedding day that best reflects your taste and your relationship. There’s a wide selection here, from books on how to create a wonderfully unique Jewish wedding, to keeping your sanity along the way, to wedding eye candy inspiration to planning a destination wedding.

BEST FOR… NO NONSENSE WEDDING PLANNING
A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene
This is Meg Keene’s book from A Practical Wedding blog fame (apracticalwedding.com) and it helps you plan your wedding from beginning to end in a useful, sane, no-nonsense way. It walks you through everything from figuring out your relationship with tradition, finding a venue, how to afford a wedding without cutting the guest list, how to communicate decisions with your family, and most importantly, how to pinpoint what matters most to you and your partner.

She’s also got some well-written articles from past brides interspersed throughout the book which makes for useful ‘real bride’ reading. Highly recommended if you believe what really matters on your wedding day is what you’ll remember when you’re old and grey, so not so much how it looked, but how it felt.

BEST FOR… HOW TO ADAPT TRADITION TO PERSONALISE YOUR JEWISH WEDDING
The Creative Jewish Wedding Book by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer
The best of the ‘Jewish wedding’ books out there, Kaplan-Mayer writes engagingly and accessibly, tackling family dynamics, food, music and ritual objects like the ketubah and chuppah (“something oldish, something newish, something borrowed, something Jewish”).

There’s special emphasis on interfaith and same-sex couples with practical suggestions for diminishing possible tensions to help family and guests feel at ease.

BEST FOR… DIY WEDDING TIPS AND INSPIRATIONAL WEDDING EYE CANDY
Style Me Pretty Weddings by Abby Larson
A must for every bride who wants her wedding day to express her own vision of her special day, and who doesn’t? The author, Abby Larson, is the founder of savvy wedding blog, Style Me Pretty, and along with her team has covered over 5,000 real weddings. Her book is full of gorgeous pictures and captures numerous clever DIY ideas and provides “Style Tips” at every turn highlighting those small but important details that make a wedding truly personal and one-of-a-kind.

It’s an American publication, but the ideas are equally suitable for a British wedding and it would make a great gift for yourself or any engaged friends.

BEST FOR… PREPARING FOR A DESTINATION WEDDING
The Knot Guide to Destination Weddings by Carley Roney
This book breaks down in a very practical way, the process of planning your wedding from afar. There are tips from deciding on your destination to whether or not you should fly in your rabbi and all the legal and practical considerations in between. A nice touch is hearing from real-life couples who have been through the experience and share the lessons they learnt. There’s also lots of expert opinion on all kinds of subjects and numerous checklists to help you stay organised and on top of everything. A practical and inspiring read.

BEST FOR… THOSE THAT DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO ALLOW THEIR WEDDING TO TAKE OVER THEIR LIFE
How to “I Do”: Planning the Ultimate Wedding in Six Weekends or Less by Lefevre and Cudanes
Most of us don’t have the time or inclination to create a wedding worthy of Hollywood production, and the authors who are professional planners fully understand this. They explain step-by-step and weekend-by-weekend how to pull off a beautiful, successful, and memorable event in a really short, succinct amount of time. Overall a great book for making you feel in complete control and ready for your big day.

Are there any other books that you’ve loved that have helped you with your wedding planning? Let me know in the comments section below. I’d love to hear!

5 ways to ‘incorporate Jewish’ into your non-Jewish or Interfaith wedding

12/08/2013 by Karen

image: Chyna Darner Photography

Today’s post is written by Michele Schwartz, editor of The Modern Jewish Wedding, a popular website for Jewish/ interfaith couples and wedding planners.

Mazel Tov, you’re engaged! You are starting to put together Pinterest boards, you’re buying every wedding magazine going and bookmarking all the best wedding blogs. There’s only one hitch – you are Jewish, and your fiancà© isn’t. But no need to worry, because by adding Jew-ish touches to your wedding and reception, you can honour both sides and have everyone “kvelling” in no time.

Here are five simple and fun ways to incorporate Jewish wedding traditions into your special day:

1. FIND AN INTERFAITH KETUBAH: There are Ketubot written in English with no mention of God or religious beliefs. Every couple should agree to love, commitment and laughter (three things the Ketubah represents); it’s good for the soul! [image: Interfaith ketubah from Daphna & Godwin’s Tuscan castle Jewish wedding ]

2. HAVE YOUR PARENTS WALK YOU DOWN THE AISLE: Every Jewish mother dreams of the day she’ll walk her child down the aisle (wearing a dress that’s the envy of all her friends). Don’t deprive her of this proud moment! Plus, your soon to be in-laws will no doubt find it charming, thereby giving you some serious brownie points.

3. HAVE A CHUPPAH: The chuppah represents your new home and forms a beautiful, striking central space for the wedding ceremony. Also, designing a chuppah will be a special way for you both to create something symbolic and beautiful together. Just add it in to the floral budget and enjoy the experience and symbolism. [image: Chuppah from Lee & Gary’s Jewish Wedding at The Criterion, London / Peachy Productions ]

4. SMASH THE GLASS! Since even Jews can’t agree on why we break a glass at a Jewish wedding, there’s really no reason not to include the tradition. It’s fun! Everyone shouts “Mazal Tov” and everyone claps and hollers. Who doesn’t want a standing ovation on their wedding day?