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Home > 18Doors

A Made with Love Bride for an Autumnal Jewish Wedding Weekend in the Catskills at Stone Tavern Farm, New York, USA

27/01/2023 by Karen Cinnamon

Ruthie-Aaron-Stone-Tavern-Farm-New-York-USA

There’s something so special about whisking your nearest and dearest off for a weekend away from it all, in gorgeous surroundings, centered around celebrating your love – which is exactly what NYC couple Ruthie and Aaron did for their Jewish wedding!

The pair found the perfect venue in Stone Tavern Farm in the Catskills, a stunning natural setting full of earthy elements of wood, stone, and greenery; plenty of opportunities for hiking and connecting with nature; and, most important of all, lodging so everyone could stay on-site and enjoy the full weekend experience together!

Inspired by the splendid natural surroundings, Ruthie and Aaron worked with Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Rachelle of  The Delicate Brush to create a custom ketubah including elements like a starry night sky, a tree with two branches twisting together to form a singular canopy, and mountains representing where they got married. In Ruthie’s words, “Rachelle is such a talented artist who truly takes the time to get to know her clients and ensure their hopes, personalities and priorities are reflected in her work.” Don’t miss it in Christine Ashburn’s wonderful photos!

To make it all even more personal, Ruthie and Aaron also customized their own ketubah text to represent their intentions for their marriage – and they read it aloud to each other during the chuppah! How special is that?! The couple credit their Reform rabbi, Rabbi Rena, who they found through Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor 18doors, with helping them figure out which traditions were meaningful to them – and giving them the freedom to incorporate those traditions in ways that felt authentic.

There’s so much more to say about this wedding – like, how elegant did Ruthie look in her Made With Love gown?! – but we’ll let her take it from here…

Ruthie-Aaron-Stone-Tavern-Farm-New-York-USA Ruthie-Aaron-Stone-Tavern-Farm-New-York-USA Ruthie-Aaron-Stone-Tavern-Farm-New-York-USA Ruthie-Aaron-Stone-Tavern-Farm-New-York-USA
How We Met

Ruthie, the bride, and Aaron, the groom: In July 2020, Aaron had recently moved to Hoboken, NJ and Ruthie was living on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The pandemic was in full swing, so Aaron was focused on building his accounting and financial advisory business as founder and CEO, and Ruthie was adjusting to working from home full-time, now leading the HR team supporting Global Technology at a Fortune 100 company.

They connected through Hinge, a dating app: Text messages quickly became phone calls and facetime, all very open, natural, interesting, and light-hearted. A few weeks after initially connecting, Ruthie suggested that she and Aaron meet up. It was a hot summer day, but outdoor activities were a requirement, so they took a walk on the Hoboken waterfront. Despite the sweaty circumstances, their multi-hour conversation flowed, and they laughed a lot.

On their first date, Ruthie had mentioned that she was assessing her home office setup, fully accepting that this work-from-home arrangement was not short-term. On their second date the following weekend, Aaron showed up at Ruthie’s apartment with a spare computer monitor and webcam and proceeded to install both. After the sushi and wine were long gone, they continued talking for eight hours from opposite ends of Ruthie’s long couch, still attempting to social distance. Some topics of this conversation included comparing grocery sanitation habits and extensive family trees. At the end of the evening, they shared their first kiss.

After that, Ruthie & Aaron spent more weeknights and weekends together, taking drives, city walks, nature hikes, cooking meals, watching movies, and much more. They quickly confided deeply in each other about their hopes, fears, struggles, families, professional aspirations, life experiences, and personal goals. They repeatedly commented on how natural it felt to be together, how they never grew tired of spending time together and laughter and silliness punctuated almost every conversation.

Starting in January 2021, Ruthie & Aaron worked and lived together full time. They regularly shushed each other when their conference calls conflicted (there was no door between the living room and bedroom), and sometimes ended up wearing the same outfit. They took long walks on the waterfront, cooked elaborate meals in their tiny kitchen, and worked together to design and renovate the apartment they planned to move into in April 2021. They regularly spoke of their future together, the family they wanted to build, adventures they wanted to take, and goals they wanted to achieve. It was always about them together, as a team, and they commented regularly about how supported, loved, and connected they felt.Continue ReadingContinue Reading

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How to Craft Your Perfect Interfaith or Jew-ish Wedding Ceremony {with 18Doors}

24/01/2023 by Karen Cinnamon

Photo by @paramountsight

If you’re planning an interfaith ceremony – or a not-so-traditional Jewish one – it can be hard to know where to start. The fact that there’s no set template to follow can be freeing, but it can also be overwhelming. 

That’s why I’m so excited to share a wonderful wedding ceremony planning tool designed specifically for couples planning interfaith and/or unconventional Jewish weddings. 18Doors, a wonderful nonprofit organization that supports interfaith Jewish couples and families, has launched a DIY Wedding Ceremony Script Builder that makes it easy to explore the key traditions of a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony. With the tool, you can figure out which Jewish traditions speak to you – and which might not – to craft a ceremony that feels true to who you are as a couple, and as a new Jew-ish family. 

If you’ve opted to have a friend or relative officiate your wedding instead of a rabbi or cantor with experience in advising ceremony structure, the wedding ceremony script builder is an invaluable tool.  And did I mention that it’s 100% free to use?!

Photo by Charlotte Watts Photography 

How It Works

To get started, you’ll have access to short videos explaining different components of the Jewish wedding ceremony featuring real footage submitted by interfaith couples from their own Jew-ish weddings. You’ll not only get a brief overview of what the tradition is and what it symbolizes, but you’ll also be able to see modern spins couples have chosen to put on them. 

Once you’ve had a chance to familiarize yourself with the traditions and think what might be good to include in your own wedding, you’ll fill out a short form before being directed to the custom script builder. This tool was created by 18Doors with generous funding from the Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta. 

Photo by @1028photo

The custom script builder tool will allow you to choose traditions you wish to include to your script, and offer multiple text options for your officiant for each tradition. With a few simple clicks, you can build your ceremony from start to finish and hand it off to your officiant. Whether you’re looking to go modern or traditional, to speak to classical Jewish symbolism or more universal motifs, you’ll be able to choose language that reflects your relationship and the marriage you’re creating. 

Photo by Lacey Gabrielle

For example, as an introductory remark under the chuppah, the script builder presents three different text options:

Option A

________ and ________ stand underneath this chuppah, the Jewish wedding canopy, today as a symbol of the home they have built and will continue to build together. The chuppah reminds us of the Jewish patriarch Abraham and matriarch Sarah who opened their tent to welcome in anyone who passed by. Today, this couple invites you to witness one of the most transitional moments in their lives as they combine their families into one. May they be blessed in doing so under this holy structure.

Option B

In all Jewish weddings, the chuppah acts as a temporary structure that reminds us of how far the Jewish people have come from nomadic times in search of permanence. Today the chuppah shows the community’s supportive role in celebrating this marriage, as this couple creates a permanence in their relationship today. May _____ and ______ build their home in a way that mirrors this chuppah, and allows them to continue to be open to the community that surrounds them.

Option C

Surrounded by those you love, and who love and support you both, you stand underneath this chuppah, the Jewish wedding canopy, the symbol of the home. This home, a unique blend of each of your backgrounds and cultures, is open on all sides, welcoming others to enter into our lives and reminding us that we are part of a larger community. May your home be a shelter against the storm, a haven of peace, a stronghold of faith and love.

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Everything You Need to Know about Planning an Interfaith Jewish Wedding {Facebook Live Recap with 18Doors}

10/06/2021 by Karen Cinnamon

Planning a Jewish wedding can be tricky. Planning an interfaith Jewish wedding? Even trickier. That’s why I’m so happy to share my latest Facebook Live all about how to plan your perfect celebration, one that combines your two backgrounds in a unique way that’s totally, 100% you.

On this Live, I spoke with Rabbi Robyn Frisch and Nicole Wasilus of 18Doors, a wonderful organization dedicated to empowering interfaith couples and families to engage in Jewish life. No one knows more about interfaith Jewish weddings than these two, and I learned so much from speaking with them.

If you’re in the midst of planning your own interfaith celebration, or suspect you might be soon, you can’t do any better than to watch the recording of this fantastic session – and for easy browsing, I’ve recapped the highlights for you below.

There’s so much information to be gleaned from this Live, but if you’ve got a particular question that isn’t answered, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the wonderful 18Doors team – they’ve got 26 rabbinic fellow spread throughout US and Canada, and they’d love to help you out however they can, wherever you are in the world. 18 Doors’ sole mission is to help interfaith Jewish couples and families, so this is really what they’re here for!

Read on for some of Rabbi Robyn and Nicole’s interfaith wedding wisdom…

Getting Started

Rabbi Robyn and Nicole emphasized that, at the very beginning of wedding planning, it’s important to start by talking to your partner and hearing what they have to say. You should do this before you reach out to officiants, and before you start involving your families.

What exactly might you want to discuss? Consider talking through the following:

  • Which traditions from your background are important to you, and are there any that aren’t?
  • Is there anything about your partner’s tradition that you’d especially like to include, or that would make you uncomfortable to include?
  • Is there anything you especially liked or didn’t like from other weddings you’ve attended?
  • Are there any important people you’d like to honor in your wedding? What are some ways you might like to do that?

Rabbi Robyn and Nicole also recommend checking out Anita Diamant’s The Jewish Wedding Now for reference and ideas.

Above all, it’s important to start having these conversations early, and to keep communication open throughout the planning process.

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Everything You Need to Know about Planning an Interfaith Jewish Wedding {with 18Doors}

16/05/2021 by Karen Cinnamon

Here at Smashing The Glass, we get so many questions from couples looking for guidance on planning their interfaith Jewish weddings. Wedding planning can be a daunting process for anyone, but interfaith couples can face all kinds of extra challenges, from navigating tricky family situations to simply not having a clear roadmap for what your ceremony might look like.
 
That’s why I’m so excited to tell you that this Wednesday, May 19, at 9:00 am PDT / 12:00 pm EDT / 5:00 pm GST, I’ll be chatting on Facebook with Rabbi Robyn Frisch and Nicole Wasilus of 18 Doors, a wonderful organization dedicated to empowering interfaith couples and families to engage in Jewish life, all about how to plan your perfect interfaith Jewish wedding.  

Some of the topics we’ll cover include:

  • Starting the conversation about what’s important to each of you in planning out your ceremony
  • Choosing an officiant
  • Special considerations for interfaith couples planning a wedding (for example, ketubot)
  • Examples of creative touches interfaith couples have used to incorporate background of partner or put a spin on Jewish tradition
  • Advice for navigating family conflict 
  • Discussion of the traditional elements of a Jewish ceremony and what considerations interfaith couples may want to make when deciding whether or not to include each one
  • Understanding elements of the Jewish ceremony in an interfaith way 

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