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Inspired Jewish Weddings

5 ways to ‘incorporate Jewish’ into your non-Jewish or Interfaith wedding

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image: Chyna Darner Photography

Mazel Tov, you’re engaged! You are starting to put together Pinterest boards, you’re buying every wedding magazine going and bookmarking all the best wedding blogs. There’s only one hitch – you are Jewish, and your fiancà© isn’t. But no need to worry, because by adding Jew-ish touches to your wedding and reception, you can honour both sides and have everyone “kvelling” in no time.

Here are five simple and fun ways to incorporate Jewish wedding traditions into your special day:

1. FIND AN INTERFAITH KETUBAH: There are Ketubot written in English with no mention of God or religious beliefs. Every couple should agree to love, commitment and laughter (three things the Ketubah represents); it’s good for the soul! interfaith_ketubah [image: Interfaith ketubah from Daphna & Godwin’s Tuscan castle Jewish wedding ]

2. HAVE YOUR PARENTS WALK YOU DOWN THE AISLE: Every Jewish mother dreams of the day she’ll walk her child down the aisle (wearing a dress that’s the envy of all her friends). Don’t deprive her of this proud moment! Plus, your soon to be in-laws will no doubt find it charming, thereby giving you some serious brownie points.

3. HAVE A CHUPPAH: The chuppah represents your new home and forms a beautiful, striking central space for the wedding ceremony. Also, designing a chuppah will be a special way for you both to create something symbolic and beautiful together. Just add it in to the floral budget and enjoy the experience and symbolism. CHUPPAH [image: Chuppah from Lee & Gary’s Jewish Wedding at The Criterion, London / Peachy Productions ]

4. SMASH THE GLASS! Since even Jews can’t agree on why we break a glass at a Jewish wedding, there’s really no reason not to include the tradition. It’s fun! Everyone shouts “Mazal Tov” and everyone claps and hollers. Who doesn’t want a standing ovation on their wedding day?

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Sara & Elliot | Scottish Castle Jewish Wedding, Dundas Castle, Edinburgh, Scotland

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In today’s castle weekend wedding we have bagpipe players, custom made Gina shoes, a seriously breathtaking castle venue, and the best favours / name plates I have ever seen: personalised tubes of chocolate Rolos with each guests’ name on them. I’d have loved one of those!

For this wedding, I’m thrilled to welcome photographer extraodinaire, Claudine Hartzel, to Smashing The Glass whose wonderful images capture the occasion perfectly. Happy Monday all, I know you’re going to enjoy this one.
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VENUE
Sara, the Bride: We didn’t want a typical “Jewish Wedding” as we both aren’t religious. We wanted something different and also wanted to try and make a weekend of it. We didn’t wanted to get married in London and had gone to Edinburgh for Hogmanay in 2009 and loved it there. I started to research castles and stately homes to get married in in Scotland, Ireland, France and Italy.
Dundas Castle in Edinburgh was the first venue that appeared in my search and nothing else came close to it. When we visited it, we both fell in love with the Castle and not just because everyone who worked there was incredible and couldn’t do enough to help, which made organising a wedding quite far from where you live hardly stressful at all!
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CEREMONY Our Rabbi had us facing the guests during the whole ceremony which was lovely albeit a bit scary! We didn’t know he was going to do this and had he suggested this beforehand, I probably would have said no, but in the end it was a very special touch. We wanted our wedding to be really modern and not be long and bore anyone but also have some traditional touches like me walking around Elliot seven times (with the giggles!).

For me, my favourite part of the ceremony was the badeken as it was so personal and emotional. Also our Rabbi was amazing with his brilliant sense of humour, his personality and the most incredible voice you have ever heard. I don’t think there was a dry eye whilst he sang.

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Top 10 Chuppah Entrance Songs

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Image by Susan Stripling taken from Natasha & Jez’s wedding

What song would you like to walk into when you walk down the aisle to your chuppah? There are lots of lovely traditional Jewish songs such as Jerusalem of Gold, Dodi Li, L’cha Dodi, Erev Shel Shoshanim, ‘Sunrise, Sunset’, modern Israeli songs like Mitachat Lashamayim and Lekol Echad Yesh or choose from Smashing The Glass’s Top 30 songs to walk down the aisle to at a Jewish wedding.

I asked Maya Bechor from Zebra Music to recommend 10 fresh chuppah entrance songs for the modern bride and groom. What I really like about Zebra is that they gently encourage Jewish couples to step out of their comfort zone of ordinary “wedding music”. They know exactly how to get the crowd pumped and the party started!.

Zebra and Smashing The Glass are proud to bring you some of the more non-traditional, interesting, happy, energy-filled chuppah entrance song ideas. Listen, enjoy, and… MAZAL TOV!

1. HEY HO BY THE LUMINEERS
This is a great song choice that crosses every type of person and musical genre.

2. ALL I WANT IS YOU BY BARRY LOUIS POLISAR
A cute little love song from the “Juno” soundtrack, A real feel-good song with loving lyrics.

3. GOD ONLY KNOWS BY THE BEACH BOYS
The legendary American rock band gave us one of our favourite songs for wedding season – every word counts.

4. LET’S STAY TOGETHER BY AL GREEN
Classics always work. Al Green sure knows how to put us in a sentimental mood with this soulful love ballad.

5. YOU ARE THE BEST THING BY RAY LAMONTAGNE
With his rough and moving voice Ray will captivate all of your guests, it’s very simple — “you are the best thing that ever happened to me”.

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Jewish Wedding Glossary – Smashing The Glass Style

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Jewish wedding glossary
So what do those funny-sounding Yiddishe/ Aramaic/Hebrew words associated with a Jewish Wedding really mean? It’s all laid out below for you complete with some all-important insights if you want to be really in the know…

AUFRUF: A short ceremony during the Shabbat (Sabbath) synagogue service that normally takes place on the Saturday morning before the wedding. The groom (and sometimes the bride) are honoured in front of their community. This is often followed by a small party or lunch (any excuse to add some food into a ritual).

ARAMAIC: A semitic language related to Hebrew that is often used as the wording in the ketubah (and a near-unpronouncable dialect that only rabbis seem to be able to enunciate / read).

ASHKENAZI: Jews of Eastern and Central European descent.

BADEKEN: A short but meaningful ceremony where the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil. It occurs just before the actual wedding ceremony and is a custom that derives from the biblical account of Jacob’s first marriage, when he was deceived to marry the heavily veiled Leah instead of Rachel, his intended bride.

The badeken is often emotionally charged as the bride and groom may not have seen each other for 24 hours or longer (as much as 7 days) until this moment.

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The Badeken ceremony as seen at Karen & Jeremy’s wedding [image by Earthy Photography]


BENCHERS / BENCHING: A small booklet containing the Jewish blessings for a meal (or a Jewish songbook for dinner – we love singing!)

BIRKAT HAMAZON: Jewish blessings recited after a meal – known in English as Grace after Meals (or a Jewish songbook for after dinner jollity).

CHATAN: Hebrew word for groom or a son-in-law. It comes from the verb meaning to tie, connect or covenant.

CHAZAN: A cantor – often a trained musician – who plays an active role in the ceremony in prayers said as songs (and he more often that not sings better than the rabbi).

CHALLAH: Delicious sweet plaited white bread eaten on Shabbat and at celebrations (a bit like a brioche – absolutely scrumptious toasted with a little butter).

CHUPPAH: The wedding canopy which sits atop four poles that represents the couple’s future home(often mistakenly pronounced as ‘Chopper’ as in the bike , or ‘Chupa [Chups]’ as in the lollipops).

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A Jewish Chuppah as seen at Lee Ann & Andre’s’ wedding [image by Gavin Hart Photography]

HA MOTZI: A Jewish blessing recited over bread.

HAVA NAGILA: A traditional Hebrew folk song played at Jewish weddings (it’s become the absolute staple of Jewish wedding bands).

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Deborah & Alex | Secret Garden Jewish Wedding at Baya’ar, Israel

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I love this wedding. Fact.

Deborah and Alex got married in a truly spectacular venue in Israel. It’s a colourful garden wedding with some incredible creative details and beautiful outdoor ceremony. I have to admit that I have a bit of a soft spot for Israeli weddings. I’m not sure whether it’s their raw edged beauty, the party-loving Israeli energy, the outdoor vibe or the amazing scenery. Whatever the ‘x-factor’ may be, I’m so thrilled to be sharing this special wedding with you today.

Deborah and Alex first met aged 6 at a mutual friends birthday party and despite going to the same school, and both spending their gap years in Australia and New Zealand, they only met properly at Leeds University after being introduced by a good friend of both of theirs.

I’ll now hand over to the lovely Deborah for the tale of their wedding.
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THE VENUE AND ‘SECRET GARDEN’ THEME
Deborah, The Bride: As a proud Zionist it was always my dream to marry in Israel. I wanted to ditch the formality of hotels and find something unique and personal. On one of our visits to Israel Alex and I visited a variety of venues in and around the Tel Aviv area. We had originally wanted a venue by the sea but there was none that were large enough. However when we saw Baya’ar (meaning the forest) we fell totally in love with it. It looked like a villa set within beautiful gardens and was both natural and spectacular.. The beautiful link between the modern interior and scenery outside was perfect. Lush, green, intimate and yet modern and elegant.

Inspired by our venue, the theme of the wedding became ‘the secret garden’. The colour scheme was multi-coloured (the bolder and brighter the better!) with yellow as the dominant colour. I wanted it to feel summery and vibrant.

As we were getting married abroad, we created a wedding website full of information about the various events and holiday tips for where to eat, go out and party in Israel.
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INVITATION DESIGN
I designed the invitation myself as I couldn’t find anything I liked. The white card I was so frequently shown I found boring. Instead I designed the invitation to reflect the venue and theme with summery yellows and greens and an illustration of a tree engraved with our initials. It was modern and informal and despite the design process becoming quite stressful we were thrilled with the results (plus it was a fraction of the cost).

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