Jewish Interfaith Weddings Archives - Page 21 of 21 - Smashing the Glass

Thinking of converting to Judaism? 5 questions to ask yourself before making the decision

22/08/2013 by Karen

I am delighted to introduce a fabulous second guest post from Michele Schwartz, editor of The Modern Jewish Wedding, a popular website for Jewish/ interfaith couples and wedding planners.

[image: Sex and the City via HBO.com]

“I know that game. I invented that game. So, they’re Rules Rabbis,”
Charlotte York Goldenblatt from Sex and the City.

It’s true. When considering conversion to Judaism from another religion, whether for a wedding, or just because, rabbis will traditionally turn you away. Rabbis are known to test your commitment by saying “NO!” three times. Then it is up to you…

If you are considering converting for your ‘beshert’ (your meant to be), here are some questions that will be useful to ask yourself and your intended before taking the plunge.:

1. How do I know if Judaism is right for me?

You’ll know! I hate to sound trite–but, you’ll know. If you are pressured to convert or feel as if you must do so just to be married, then you should stop reading now and read my previous post on incorporating Jewish traditions into your interfaith wedding. However, if you are committed to having a Jewish home, raising your children Jewish and are intellectually curious about Judaism–then read on. The best place is to start is with curiosity.

Read, read and then read some more.
Attend services at several different local synagogues.
Take a class. Most congregations offer a weekly text study you can attend. You can also check out your local Jewish Community Centre or even a local university to find classes or lectures that spark your interest.

[image: Lee Ann & Andre’s London wedding / Gavin Hart Photography]

2. Even if I don’t convert can I work Judaism into our marriage and home?

Absolutely. Most people begin the road to formal conversion after first experiencing life in a Jewish family, home or community. Jewish rituals don’t negate anything you were raised to believe. You can get married under the chuppah, you can participate in congregational services, learning and holiday celebrations, you can attend or host a Passover seder, you can light candles on Shabbat and enjoy a day of rest on Saturday. If nothing else feels right for you–learn a new recipe or two and eat Jewish soul food.

[image: Daphna & Godwin’s Tuscany wedding ]

3. How “Jewish” do I want to be?

There are lots of different flavours of Judaism. But no one is more Jewish than any other (despite what you might hear or think). You should try them all–and decide for yourself what feels right for you. Do you like traditional music and lots of Hebrew in your worship service? Do you want to belong to a community that keeps strictly kosher? Do you feel more comfortable in a setting where there are same-sex couples and no one frowns at ear piercings or tattoos? Judaism is a big tent–you have to find the most comfortable seat for yourself.

5 ways to ‘incorporate Jewish’ into your non-Jewish or Interfaith wedding

12/08/2013 by Karen

image: Chyna Darner Photography

Mazel Tov, you’re engaged! You are starting to put together Pinterest boards, you’re buying every wedding magazine going and bookmarking all the best wedding blogs. There’s only one hitch – you are Jewish, and your fiancà© isn’t. But no need to worry, because by adding Jew-ish touches to your wedding and reception, you can honour both sides and have everyone “kvelling” in no time.

Here are five simple and fun ways to incorporate Jewish wedding traditions into your special day:

1. FIND AN INTERFAITH KETUBAH: There are Ketubot written in English with no mention of God or religious beliefs. Every couple should agree to love, commitment and laughter (three things the Ketubah represents); it’s good for the soul! [image: Interfaith ketubah from Daphna & Godwin’s Tuscan castle Jewish wedding ]

2. HAVE YOUR PARENTS WALK YOU DOWN THE AISLE: Every Jewish mother dreams of the day she’ll walk her child down the aisle (wearing a dress that’s the envy of all her friends). Don’t deprive her of this proud moment! Plus, your soon to be in-laws will no doubt find it charming, thereby giving you some serious brownie points.

3. HAVE A CHUPPAH: The chuppah represents your new home and forms a beautiful, striking central space for the wedding ceremony. Also, designing a chuppah will be a special way for you both to create something symbolic and beautiful together. Just add it in to the floral budget and enjoy the experience and symbolism. [image: Chuppah from Lee & Gary’s Jewish Wedding at The Criterion, London / Peachy Productions ]

4. SMASH THE GLASS! Since even Jews can’t agree on why we break a glass at a Jewish wedding, there’s really no reason not to include the tradition. It’s fun! Everyone shouts “Mazal Tov” and everyone claps and hollers. Who doesn’t want a standing ovation on their wedding day?

Daphna & Godwin | Tuscan Castle Jewish Wedding, Tuscany,Italy

19/07/2013 by Karen

I have a delicious destination wedding for you today. And they don’t come much more delicious than the beautiful Castello di Modanella in Tuscany – a castle in Italy which is also a vineyard where they make their own wine and olive oil. A stunning venue with gorgeous views and a wonderful ceremony (incorporating the James Bond theme tune) it was the perfect location for Daphna and Godwin to hold their very fun wedding weekend.

Daphna and Godwin (or D&G as they like to brand themselves!) met at work and were immediately attracted to each other. They kept their relationship quiet in the office so none of their colleagues knew that they were actually dating, and when they announced their engagement 15 months later it’s fair to say that all their colleagues were pretty shocked! The wedding itself stretched over a long weekend and took months of meticulous planning. Here’s Daphna with the D&G w-day story:

A WEDDING WEEKEND ABROAD
Daphna, the Bride: I had always liked the idea of getting married abroad, as I had been to lots of weddings in England and wanted something different. As a bride you don’t actually get to spend much time with your guests so I wanted everyone to be relaxed on holiday for the whole weekend. That way at least you get to actually see your guests and for this purpose we organised various nights before the wedding day itself like a BBQ and a pizza night. I thought a destination wedding would be fun because everyone gets into holiday mode and ready to relax and party without having to worry about going to work the next day.

We thought about Spain and Italy as we love both countries, (we have no particular tie to either country, although I did study Spanish and lived in Madrid for a year, so I do love it) but in the end Italy won as it has better food & was a little classier! We looked at the Amalfi Coast too as I really wanted somewhere by the sea, and it is really romantic and gorgeous, but after researching we found that the Amalfi Coast has a lot of strict rules about music, ie lots of places only allow background music, and the party has to stop at 11.30pm etc. As we wanted a big party, this wasn’t really acceptable for us.

Also, it was proving hard to get married outdoors and as far as I was concerned there is no point getting married abroad if it’s not outside in the sun! In the end we decided on a castle in Tuscany, where they make their own wine. It has a big lake, and various swimming pools, so it had the water aspect I wanted. The venue offered wine tasting & trips to their vineyards. There were no restrictions about what time the party had to end (we ended up having a pool party after the wedding till 4am to finish off the alcohol!). Most importantly the food at the castle is absolutely fantastic – I cannot rate them highly enough. They have their own restaurant that is open to the public that is practically Michelin starred – every dish you try is superb.

Additionally there was accommodation for over 200 people, so it meant that everyone from the wedding could stay in one place, which is something else I wanted. I didn’t want everyone dotted around – it’s so much nicer to have everyone together. The views from the castle are absolutely beautiful, right amongst the rolling Tuscan hills.

The venue is owned by a family friend, so it made the whole affair really personal to us, as it felt like our family was there every step of the way helping us organise the wedding.

Andrew & Elliott | Uber-Stylish Soirée Wedding at One Marylebone, London

11/07/2013 by Karen

Today you lucky readers get not one but two lovely grooms who together organised an incredibly entertaining (think confetti canons, swing band, full-on Shirley Bassey wedding entrance) and glamorous black tie wedding in the heart of London’s West End. Their story is full of phenomenal detail, useful tips, fabulous eye-candy and impeccable style.

Andrew, originally from Australia, is an Operations Director for a boutique London creative agency, and Elliott is a Client Relationship Manager for a global investment manager. They met in Melbourne, whilst Elliott was traveling for work, and the rest, as they say, is history.

With their wedding being very much a joint planning effort (and boy was there a lot of planning), the account of their double groom w-day is recounted in both their words:

AN EXCUSE TO THROW THE BEST PARTY WE COULD IMAGINE
Andrew + Elliott: As well as being a celebration of our Civil Partnership we always wanted our day to be a celebration for our friends and an excuse to throw the best party that we could imagine. For a venue, we imagined a lavish stately home [with Andrew being from Australia, he had always had the grand notion to have a lavish party in a stately home or palace (somewhere older than the 225 years of his colonised country)], but in keeping with the idea of it being a party for friends we were also adamant that we wanted a Central London location so that guests didn’t need to plan accommodation or travel. Free from needing to marry in a “place of worship” we also wanted the ceremony and reception in the same venue so that there was one less travel logistic for our guests and us.

The problem we faced with a lot of the Central London properties available was that they were either sterile, were just another banqueting room in a grand hotel or were private member clubs with dominating dà©cor that would stop any chance of us adding our own personal touches. We started with a list of over 30 properties that could accommodate 100 guests. We researched via the web and various venue guides and then shortlisted around half a dozen that seemed to meet most of our requirements.

Off we trotted to spec out the various venues on the shortlist after work or on weekends. Several we wrote-off without even entering the building, others were excluded because of silly charges and inflexible terms and conditions. One, in particular, we rather liked but we didn’t gel with the event planner — her creativity extended only as far as suggesting neon pink lighting because this was a gay event! We were becoming slightly worried that our expectations were too high. We started to reconsider the stately home alternative. We unconsidered it again and armed with a bottle of wine we sat down and spent another evening reconsidering venues that we had previously ruled out (thinking we should at least go and inspect them as we were only reliant on photos from the web). A late addition was One Marylebone, which a good friend of ours had recommended.

WOWED BY ONE MARYLEBONE
We went to see One Marylebone one wintery evening after a stressful day at work, and apart from being wowed by the beauty of the building we immediately hit it off with Alicia, their fabulous event planner. We’d barely taken our coats off and already her suggestions were filling us with inspiration. We knew there and then that One Marylebone was the right venue — as an event space it was new enough that we would be original, as a venue it is awe inspiring and needs little additional decoration and, above all, we knew Alicia would make our day into what we wanted it to be!

Kiruna & Gareth | Wedstock Festival Theme Jewish Wedding at Holton Lee, Poole

02/07/2013 by Karen

This is such an awesome wedding on so many levels. First of all, Kiruna’s amazing couture wedding dress is made almost entirely from paper! (mostly with the pages of an old copy of Alice in Wonderland together with that of an erotic novel). Secondly with an actress and a comedian marrying each other the relaxed feeling and originality that shine through this ‘wedstock’ wedding is just fabulous.

Kiruna Stamell, originally from Australia, and Gareth’s paths had crossed a couple of times over the years but as is so often the case, the timing wasn’t right. When a mutual friend re-introduced them in 2011, everything felt like it was meant to be and Gareth proposed to Kiruna after just 4 months.

They meticulously organised a weekend Wedstock wedding that took place in September 2012 complete with a fish ‘n’ chips van, camping, tipis, chill-out tents, a fabulous cake competition, and lots of crafty and DIY details all made by the very talented Kiruna herself!

Kiruna, the Bride: We wanted a relaxed, bohemian party and Holton Lee, our chosen venue, delivered our festival dreams and then some! Our wedding lasted an entire weekend with guests camping onsite with us. Holton Lee is actually a not-for-profit charity so you’ve got these beautiful camping fields and wonderful facilities but also disability-friendly buildings right next door which was essential as we were hosting several disabled guests who needed accessibility.

THE VENUE + THEME

I wanted a pretty picnic lovely camping theme inspired by my experiences at English music festivals but with more of a civilised touch. I was amazed at how much discrimination I came across when I first started looking for a disability-friendly venue but Honeybells who supplied our romantic and chill-out tents came to the rescue with the suggestion of the beautiful Holton Lee and it ticked all our boxes.

We both wanted a ‘picnic festival’ even ‘Woodstock’ feel. We wanted to create a social / non-wedding / relaxing afternoon during daylight on the Saturday and then we would have this shift as the Sabbath went out at sunset on Saturday evening and it turned into the wedding element of the weekend.

The venue was a godsend and it was wonderful to know that the money we spent was going into their not for profit ethos.

DIY CREATIVITY

Paper was a massive part of my theme which is why most of my wedding dress was made from paper.

I love the nostalgic element of brown paper packaging and string and as well as collecting lots of it I asked my local cafe to save the coca cola bottles to be my vases on the table and saved loads of money by making all the flowers myself out of paper.

The brown paper was the starting point and I then started collecting recycled scraps of paper in different colours to make festival bunting, and other artefacts in the months leading up to the wedding. The table centres were newspaper-covered K’s and G’s that I also made.