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What’s the correct processional order for a Jewish wedding ceremony?

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Jewish wedding question
To begin with, I want to say that “there is no such thing as a ‘generic’ Jewish wedding — no matter what the rabbi tells you, no matter what your mother tells you, and no matter what the caterer tells you”.

That’s not my quote, that’s Anita Diamant’s, from her wonderful book, The New Jewish Wedding. And I start with it, as it’s important to know that just like all other aspects of a Jewish wedding, the processional order will vary with how religious you are, and your local practices, but it will still follow this basic order:

The wedding party enters in this order:

  • Rabbi and/or chazan (cantor) on Rabbi’s right.
  • Bride’s grandparents (or they can choose to be seated beforehand)
  • Groom’s grandparents (or they can choose to be seated beforehand)
  • Ushers in pairs (shortest to tallest)
  • Best man and / or Best woman
  • The groom, escorted by his parents (father on his left, mother on his right)
  • Bridesmaids (individually or in pairs)
  • The bride, escorted by her parents (father on her left, mother on her right)

Jewish-wedding-ceremony-processional-order

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Top 10 Chuppah Entrance Songs

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Chuppah-Entrance-Songs
Image by Elisabeth Millay taken from Tory & Brooks’ beachside Jewish wedding

The original Top 10 Chuppah Entrance Songs that was written in 2013 is one of Smashing The Glass‘s most popular posts, but having been published over a year ago, I asked Maya Bechor from Zebra Music who complied the original piece, to write a ‘part 2’ with 10 hot new songs including some recent releases from 2014.

What I love about Zebra Music is that they’re great at encouraging couples to step out of their comfort zone of ‘ordinary wedding music’. They know exactly how to get the crowd pumped and the party started! So here are the Top 10 cool, new , unexpected chuppah songs for 2015 weddings and beyond!

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Jewish Wedding Dancing (The Hora) – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #9

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Jewish-wedding-dancing
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 9 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

So far in this Jewish Weddings Explained series, we’ve gone through the entire day from morning to evening, now the real fun begins. Let’s be honest, Jewish weddings are known for their dancing. If there’s one thing that most non-Jewish guests know about a Jewish wedding, it’s that someone is going to be lifted on a chair and there’s going to be some crazy dancing.

In fact, we recently photographed a stunning and intimate non-Jewish wedding in the rolling hills of Devon. A couple of months before that day, the Groom’s brother had married a Jewish girl in New York. The Groom enjoyed the dancing at his brother’s wedding so much that he insisted his guests hoist him and his new wife onto chairs, which they did, as other guests around them clapped and made vaguely Jewish-sounding noises like ‘oy, oy, oy’. Even at non-Jewish weddings, lifting the couple on chairs will always be awesome!

Firstly, what do we call it? Most people nowadays refer to this part of the wedding as the ‘Israeli Dancing’. For me, it’s not as though everybody in Israel dances down the street in a circular fashion on their way to the local shops, and when you go into a club in Tel Aviv, you don’t see everyone being lifted up on chairs… so I call it ‘Jewish dancing’.

Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.Images from Jewish dancing at Weddings.
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The Yichud – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #8

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Yichud
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 8 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

So the couple have stood under their chuppah and the groom has smashed a glass. The family and friends have cried, laughed, clapped and shouted Mazal Tov! Now what for our newly married couple? The Yichud is another beautiful tradition in Jewish weddings. Yichud comes from the Hebrew word B’Yachad, which means ‘together’.

It is where the couple, who’ve been married only a few moments, make their way to a private room and spend the first few minutes of their married life just by themselves, without any distractions or other family members.

In religious circles, this is the first time ever that the couple will have had physical contact, so it really is a truly landmark moment in the lives of the couple. The room should be lockable, and the door is locked from the inside. In Orthodox law, couple remains secluded in the room for at least eight minutes.

For those who are less religious, even the Rabbi will know that the couple has had contact before, or that they live together already! However this is still such a precious moment, alone as a married couple — just the two of them. This is also a tradition that can be applied to any wedding, irrespective of which religion the couple follows. It truly symbolizes that even in the modern world with more demands on our time than ever, the couple should always find time just for one another — even with a crowd of friends and family all clamouring to give them a hug!

Yichud The Wedding of Danielle and joseph Wedding of Sarah and Dani
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Breaking The Glass – Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained #7

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Breaking-the-glass-Jewish-wedding
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. This is part 7 of the 9-part Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained series.

This is it, the time has come. With so much preparation carried out for this very moment, the ring placed upon the finger, every guest in the room hurriedly preparing their iPhones to take a shot, and clearing their vocal chords to shout “Mazal Tov”, it’s time to break the glass!

Such is the synonymy between Jewish weddings and smashing a glass, that we hear the most uber-cool Jewish wedding blog has been named after this very tradition. This site wasn’t named ‘Dancing the Hora’ or ‘Eating the Canapes’, but Smashing The Glass, as this is THE moment of the Jewish wedding. We hear time and time again from members of our Brides Club community that smashing the glass is one of the most memorable traditions of the whole beautiful day.

The glass, usually wrapped up in a cloth or napkin, is placed on the floor in front of the groom. However before it is smashed, it’s traditional at most Jewish weddings for the Rabbi or Chazan (Cantor) to sing a Hebrew song called Im Eshkakech Yerushalayim, or in English… ‘If I forget you, Jerusalem’. This commemorates the falling of Jerusalem and destruction of the two Jewish temples that once stood there.

It’s said that whenever Jewish people experience immense joy, they should also remember the less joyous times in their ancestry. With celebration comes commemoration. So once the less beautiful times have been remembered, the time comes for the groom to break the glass. Why is this done? Great question.

There are many reasons that Jewish grooms break a glass at the end of their ceremony, sealing the marriage to their Bride. The first being, in keeping with the song that had just been sung, to commemorate the destruction faced by Jewish people over the past two thousand years, a nod to the suffering that had come before. After all, if you can remember the dark times even on the brightest of days, you’ll never allow them to be forgotten.

Breaking The Glass Jewish Wedding
Breaking The Glass Jewish Wedding
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