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How to Stay Calm in an Era of Uncertainty {Tips from Psychotherapist Pam Custers}

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If you’ve got a wedding in the works, chances are you’re pretty worked up right now. Even if you’re not facing the possibility (or reality) of having to postpone the day you’ve spent months or years planning for, this is a rough time for everyone.

Because a lot of us are struggling with anxiety right now, last week we brought amazing psychotherapist Pam Custers into our Brides Club to talk us through navigating the Coronavirus crisis as an engaged couple. She and I went live on Facebook and talked about why the current situation is so frightening and what we can do to stay calm. Pam’s generous advice was so helpful I didn’t want to limit it to just our Brides Club members, so I’m sharing her plan of action in this post.

Read on for an action plan from Pam. 

1. Accept That Life Throws You Curveballs

The harsh reality this pandemic is awakening some of us to, according to Pam, is that life throws us curveballs. How we manage them is a benchmark for how we manage life. 

The current moment is a real test for us to find out how flexible we can be, and how we can manage, at a time when our lives are so deeply disrupted. Times of uncertainty make us feel incredibly disempowered – and that’s now how anyone wants to feel. 

Under normal circumstances, being a bride- or groom-to-be is often a very empowering experience – we get to make plans to create the day of our dreams, and while all that choice can be overwhelming, it’s also exhilarating. 

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Covid-19 and What To Do If You Have A Wedding Planned in 2020

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Coronavirus-and-your-wedding---what-to-do-if-you-have-a-wedding-booked-in-2020If you’re getting married in 2020, whether your date is set for the coming months, or beyond, you’re no doubt consumed with Coronavirus wedding concerns.

The bottom line is, Coronavirus or no, you’re going to have an amazing wedding – even if it may look a little different than it did prior to the pandemic – and I’m here to help ensure that happens.

I’ve produced a free guide with step-by-step actions for what to do depending on your wedding date, and tomorrow, I’m hosting a free online event – details below, both of which will be invaluable to you if your wedding is planned in 2020 – whether that’s in the coming months, or later on in the year.

If You Have A Wedding Planned in 2020:

Number One: Make sure you download our Coronavirus and your wedding – what to do if you have a wedding booked in 2020 free guide.

Number Two: I’m going live on Thursday April 2 so that I can guide you 1:1 about your situation plus I’ll be covering:

  • The steps you need to take if your wedding is planned in the next 8 weeks
  • The steps you need to take if you decide to postpone your wedding
  • What to do about your ketubah and kippot and other items that may have your previous date already printed on them.
  • What to do if your wedding is planned for June 2020 through to December 2020
  • Deposits – can you get them back?

The free event is taking place this Thursday April 2, 2020 @ 3:00 PM EST (that’s 3pm New York, 12pm Los Angeles, 8pm London, 10pm Israel)

CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR PLACE AND GET A REMINDER

After you register, keep an eye out for another email from me with your link to join the event.

I’m here for you, and can’t wait to connect, help, and guide you on your journey towards the chuppah. 

Love Karen x

A Berta Bride for a Spiritual Glam Jewish Wedding at the Millennium Biltmore, Los Angeles, CA, USA

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Is this #chuppahgoals, or is this #chuppahgoals? Yep, we’re totally obsessed with the luxe, glam Jewish wedding of Heather, a dermatology resident, and Alex, lawyer who specializes in litigation defense. These two made the wise decision to work with Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Best Bride to bring their divergent tastes and traditions – the Ashkenazi bride wanted enchanted garden vibes, while the Persian groom preferred to keep everything white and sophisticated – together into one seamlessly perfect day.

This incredible chuppah – featuring abundant white flowers and lush greenery – was the stunning compromise Leora, founder of Best Bride, helped the pair settle on. Don’t miss the gorgeous photos from Katie Beverley! And Leora’s also a master when it comes to combining different backgrounds, so needless to say the cross-cultural elements of the wedding went without a hitch.

We also love that these two put as much thought into the spiritual side of their wedding as they did to the aesthetics. Heather was especially moved by the idea of a Jewish bride serving as a source of blessing on her wedding day, and decided she wanted to pray for as many people as she could on the day – so she shared a Google doc on Facebook and let her friends submit prayer requests for anything, anonymously. Such a smart idea! We’re equally obsessed with Heather and Alex’s gorgeous papercut ketubah by Enya Keshet, which they purchased through Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor ketubah.com.

Now over to the bride, who looked simply ravishing in beloved Israeli designer Berta gown…

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How we met

Heather, the bride : I moved from the East coast to Los Angeles in the summer after my third year of medical school to pursue a dermatology research year at USC. I thought that making a Hinge dating ap profile could be a good way to meet people in general. Alex was my first date in Los Angeles! The rest is history.Continue ReadingContinue Reading

Real Jewish Brides: Erin’s Corona Edition

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Erin will be marrying Josh on 1st November 2020 at Congregation Beth Israel, in Charlottesville, VA, USA. Click here to read all Erin’ planning posts to date.

THREE FACTS: (1) Erin and Josh are planning an outdoorsy fall wedding on a budget in Virginia’s Shenandoah mountains. (2) Erin recently completed her conversion to Judaism, and she and Josh are looking forward to filling their big day with Jewish traditions while keeping it enjoyable and understandable to friends and family from all backgrounds. (3) Erin is a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!

Every day we’re getting new updates about the Coronavirus, and we’re learning how to adapt to each new change.

Being in the midst of wedding planning is a strange place to be. How do you plan for a wedding when you don’t know what life will be like in the next few weeks or months?

I’ve seen brides making tough decisions to postpone their weddings and try to pick new dates in the future. I’ve seen brides go through with their weddings, albeit much altered from what they planned on doing. Both of these decisions have shown me how strong and brave these people are, and at the end of the day, how love is what matters most.

Erin and Josh

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A Sassi Holford Bride for an Elegant Countryside Jewish Wedding at High Billinghurst Farm, Surrey, UK

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We just love it when our readers work with our amazing Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendors to make the Jewish wedding of their dreams a reality – like Katie, who’s a fundraising manager for an education charity, and Max, an officer in the British army, did in planning their gorgeous outdoor countryside wedding in the beautiful Surrey countryside.

These two knew their top priority was making sure their wedding would be fun for each and every one of their guests – and one of their best decisions was tapping Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Louise Perry to plan the big day. Louise and Natalie brought together the couple’s vision for a relaxed but elegant day focused on connecting with friends and family SO perfectly.

Katie and Max wanted to make sure their ceremony was inclusive too, so they worked with Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Rabbi Paul Glantz to craft a chuppah that made everyone feel involved. Rabbi Glantz made sure to explain what was happening at each stage of the ceremony so guests of all backgrounds could follow along – and he did such a good job that lots of non-Jewish guests commented afterward that they wished they could have had a Jewish wedding ceremony!

We’re also obsessed with the pair’s beautiful nature-inspired ketubah by Rachelle of Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor The Delicate Brush, as well as their birch tree chuppah decorated with white flowers and greenery – don’t miss Brett Harkness’s beautiful photos!

Putting your guests first means making sure you’ve got not only a beautiful ceremony but also a rocking party, and Katie and Max knew Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor The White Keys were just the band to keep their guests on the dancefloor all night long.

There’s so much more to say, but we’ll let the bride – who looked so elegant in Sassi Holford – tell you the rest…

Katie-and-Max-High-Billinghurst-Farm-Surrey-UKSassi Holford Bride High Billinghurst FarmKatie-and-Max-High-Billinghurst-Farm-Surrey-UKKatie-and-Max-High-Billinghurst-Farm-Surrey-UK

HOW WE MET

Katie, the bride: We met during our first year at Newcastle University in 2009. Neither of us remember the moment that we first met but we know it was during our very first week in Newcastle when me and the girls on my floor ventured to the floor below to meet the boys living below us.

Sassi Holford Bride High Billinghurst Farm Wedding

A Countryside Wedding

We got married at High Billinghurst Farm in Surrey. It was the first venue that we saw and we fell in love with it, even on a rainy January winters day. It ticked all of our boxes, a beautiful barn, countryside location, easy for our family and friends who travelled from around the world to get to and enough space for all of our guests. Once we saw it we knew that was the venue we wanted and did not even think about looking anywhere else.

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