What do you do when you’re dreaming of a destination wedding in Israel but family obligations keep you closer to home? Well, you could do worse than to follow the example of STG Brides Club member Nicola, a senior business analyst for a technical consultancy, and Dave, the CTO and co-founder of a digital design and marketing consultancy, who made it their goal to bring a little bit of Israel to their Jewish wedding right here in the UK.
How’d they do it? For starters, they worked with Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor XS Showband to put together two party simcha sets with a mixture of Mizrahi and Israeli music that kept everyone on the dance floor in true Israeli style – Nicola also can’t stop raving about how helpful the XS team were in creating the couple’s day of plan and processional order, plus providing day of coordination.
And in good Israeli wedding style, Nicola and Dave had the “reliable and fantastic” (in the bride’s words) Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Magniv mobile photo magnet team taking photos of everyone throughout the festivities so that people could have a keepsake to take home.
Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor The Crawleys photographed the whole day so beautifully in their trademark artsy documentary style, and we’re so touched to hear Nicola say that the ultra-supportive community of STG Brides Club was “literally the only thing that kept me sane” during wedding planning
Now over the bride, who looked simply smashing in Pronovias…
How we met
Nicola, the bride: We met in the good old fashioned way… on a dating app – Jcrush to be precise (seems this is the only way to meet your soulmate these days).
There was an instant connection when we met but both of us were not long out of relationships and not ready for anything serious so we maintained a strong friendship. Even as friends, we would go out for regular dinners and lunches together, him insisting on paying for every single one being the kind and generous soul that he is.
It wasn’t until a mutual friends party, and the help of a bit of dutch courage (tequila), that we both realised what was right in front of us and shared a kiss. The first of many more to come.
Offley Place
We got married at the gorgeous Offley Place Country House Hotel in Hitchin, North Hertfordshire. This was one of the first venues we saw and it literally ticked so many boxes.
As a history graduate, I wanted something with a strong heritage, steeped in history and with all the timeless character that goes with it. I was also really keen on a glass roof with lots of windows so that we could be close to nature.
In contrast, Dave wanted a really modern, new building set amongst a scenic, countryside backdrop so that we could have an outside chuppah.
I didn’t think such a venue existed… that was until we saw Offley.
Gorgeous lush a stately home set in 27 acres of green forest (complete with rose garden) with a story to tell…we viewed a few other venues but realised that everything was pointing back to Offley.
Bringing Israel to London
We originally wanted to have our wedding in Israel as Dave has lots of family out there and it is very close to both of our hearts, however we couldn’t guarantee that all of our guests would make the journey given the short notice – we were planning the wedding less than a year from our engagement date.
Our theme was rustic elegance but we also wanted to bring a little bit of Israel to London so we were keen to incorporate the outdoors; have lots of greenery, forest and floral elements whilst capturing the standard party atmosphere that goes with any Israeli event.
What ‘Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club’ Did For Us
STG Brides Club was literally the only thing that kept me sane during a very stressful wedding planning period. The most important benefit for me was the extremely supportive community; the feeling that you could ask any question or simply just have a good rant, and you’d get the support of dozens of other brides all going through the same pain.
I found managing the political arena surrounding a wedding and the number of family members whose views needed to be accommodated very challenging, and it was so great to be able to have Brides Club to help me through.
Whilst we followed quite a traditional route for our wedding, there were a lot of aspects which went against the grain, i.e. creative ideas that Dave and I wanted to incorporate. We were told by family that this wasn’t ‘the done thing’ and that it wouldn’t work.
Brides Club kept us on track and encouraged us to take the path less travelled, it was encouraging to know that whilst we were not always going to please everyone, we would end up with great wedding which was perfect for us.
Invitations
Dave has his own digital consultancy and web design agency and so having him design our stationery was a no brainer! We had custom invitations, benchers, order of service, table numbers and even thank you cards.
We knew we wanted it to be sleek, to stand out and to incorporate the rustic floral feel that we were going for. He searched for inspiration, found a graphic which we both loved and developed it into the most unique invitation we have ever seen. We both love copper/rose gold and thanks to a bit of clever foiling it literally shimmered. He also created a custom logo and designed our website from scratch (www.nicanddave.com) – the logo featured everywhere throughout our wedding.
We wanted the experience of receiving our invitations to be really special for all of our guests, like they were being invited to a royal ball. To create this, we decided to include a personalised wax seal on every envelope that we sent. Dave designed the seal around our logo, sent it to a company on Etsy called Mint Maker Studio and ordered special copper wax to accompany it. We laboured over each and every invite, making sure each one was perfect; melting the wax, pressing the seal, drying. It was a labour of love.
We worked with Kisharon to make our design a reality. Kisharon are a charity and part of their profits go back into the amazing work that they do so we loved that we were able to give back in this small way.
A Pronovias Dress
My dress was by Pronovias and I found it on my one and only trip to a bridal shop.
I always knew that lace was my thing; it encapsulates bridal elegance in my opinion. I stalked Pronovias for a while and loved so many of their dresses, but it wasn’t until I received a notification that they were having a sample sale that I decided to pay them a visit.
We always expected that our wedding would happen over a tight timeframe because we wanted David’s elderly grandmother to be able to attend. My biggest concern from the beginning was ensuring that a dress would be ready in time given the short notice; buying a sample dress therefore made the most practical sense.
My dress was the last one I expected to go for when my mum picked it up. I always envisioned a figure-hugging mermaid style – this was anything but. My dress was a-line and flowy; it very subtly draped the body. As soon as I put it on, I felt amazing, like I was floating on air. I felt slim, beautiful and even more importantly, comfortable. It had invisible mesh under the sweetheart lace neckline, so it was modest without appearing to be. It also had a removable, more exaggerated skirt/train and I loved that I could get two looks in one. A fuller wedding dress for the ceremony which then turned into the perfect dancing number for the crazy Israeli dancing set.
I’m not usually the most decisive person but in this case if I didn’t take the dress there and then, I might never have seen it again. Of course, I bought the dress!
Hair + Makeup
I’m not the kind of person who spends a lot of time on my hair and makeup but knew from friends who got married before me that I should have someone to assist me with both of these things. A friend recommended her stylist and showed me her own makeover photo and I felt the style really enhanced her natural beauty without making her look like someone else – exactly what I wanted for myself. I contacted Shahnaz Wolford, a.k.a. The Makeup Girl, who specialises in both hair and makeup – she is a master, and I felt confident with her from the beginning. She is so easy to work with and understands the vision – every look she created for me just worked.
We tried a natural style for my make up trial which I really liked but I then decided to ramp it up for the big day with a slightly heavier smoky eye so that it would stand out in photos; a look I can never usually pull off. This goes to show how much I trusted Shahnaz.
I was always set on a half up, half down do for my hair because I never wear my hair away from my face and felt that long, flowy hair suited me more. However, I also knew that an updo was more practical for an energised, dance fuelled wedding. In the end, Shahnaz helped me compromise with a side ponytail. I found my Britten handmaid pearlised hair pins after a lot of online browsing; they felt so luxurious and suited the look perfectly.
Accessories
I had a cathedral length veil which I inherited and it really suited the dress; I loved how it flowed so elegantly in the wind on our day.
Jewellery was always going to be simple elegance so pearls felt like the way to go. I bought a pair of gorgeous pearl drop earrings from Liberty in Love.
I matched them with my something old, a pearl bracelet which I had made myself a few years ago at a jewellery workshop that I had attended with one of my good friends and bridesmaids. I loved that I was able to wear something which had so much sentimental value.
I decided to skip on a necklace because my dress had a high neckline but did buy some gorgeous pearlized floral hair pins which complimented my side pony style. I bought them from a company called Britten.
My mum bought me a couple of special keepsakes to make up my something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. This is included the cutest little kit with a mini magnifying glass, a little message and a coin, as well as a handmade blue garter which I wore on my wedding day.
Rainbow Club Shoes
I’m the kind of girl who usually likes a good heel but at 5’7, I was conscious that I didn’t want to tower over Dave. I knew that my shoes wouldn’t be seen that much under my dress and so was really keen for comfort over style.
I must have bought around half a dozen pairs of shoes before settling on the very first pair, the Rainbow Club Bobbie shoes. I liked that they were a low heeled (2 inches), padded court shoe with a bit of simple elegance in the form of a sparkly rim that went all round the shoe. I also loved that I could dye them after the wedding and wear them again.
Despite buying a pair of Converse, my Rainbow Club shoes were so comfortable that I never needed to change my shoes once throughout our wedding day.
The handsome groom
Despite a lot of opposing feedback from family and friends, Dave was adamant that he and his groomsmen should wear classic black tie to compliment the tone of the occasion. A wedding is a special, ‘once in a lifetime’ event and the clean sophistication of black tie would reflect that.
Given this fact especially, it was important that Dave have a bespoke suit which fit him in like a glove – that he should feel his very best. The kind of elaborate expense that you only make once.
After trying lots of options, he eventually settled on a great quality three piece suit from Suit Supply. They were great because they offered to alter it as many times as necessary up till the big day.
I saw him for the first time in it under the chuppah and I couldn’t believe how gorgeous he looked. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He also wore custom ‘groom’ cufflinks from Giftpup and brought matching ones for each of his groomsmen personalised with their name and role.
Bridesmaids
I had four of my closest friends as my bridesmaids, and three younger flowers girls who were my twin nieces and Dave’s cousin. All of my bridesmaids were different shapes and sizes. They also lived all over London, or as was the case for one, outside of the UK. I knew that coordinating everyone and getting agreement would be difficult.
I was also aware that there was an expectation from family that the wedding party dress appropriately for a religious wedding, despite that we were not getting married in a shul. In the end, the easiest option was to go for a good quality multi wrap dress for all of my adult bridesmaids. This would mean that everyone could tie the dress to cover their shoulders/back during the ceremony and would also give each lady the most versatility after the formalities were over. After the ceremony, they each re-styled the dress to reflect their own, individual styles as it was important to me that they each felt comfortable.
I had been keen not to define a specific colour scheme for the wedding early on in my planning as I didn’t want to restrict any options along the way. It was only once I had found the bridesmaid dresses, which were from Oasis, in a lovely dusky pink colour, that we then chose white, green and hints of pink as a running theme throughout the rest of the wedding.
My mother in law bought the youngest bridesmaid a gorgeous custom made dress from JJSHouse in a similar colour; important because she lived in Israel and wouldn’t be able to try it on. I then struck gold when I found a very similar one for my twin nieces from ASOS. We also bought each of the flower girls a gorgeous flower garland for their hair to compliment their outfits.
Dave and I bought gifts for our wedding party and parents. He bought personalised cuff links for his groomsmen, and both our dads. For the bridesmaids, my mum helped me makeup little gift bags; complete with a flips flops ad robes with each of their robes on, a pearl necklace on a gold chain each, and a hand written card expressing to each how much it meant to share the day with them.
For both our mums, I bought a little silver bracelet from Missoma – my mum’s had a little girl charm and Dave’s a little boy.
I also included a cute little gift and card for each set of parents for the night of the wedding – advice that I got from my marriage lessons. Each card expressing thanks for all of their hard work and how much they mean to us, and that despite being married, we will always be their children. It can be quite an emotional time for parents, their sensitivities heightened and it may not always be possible to spend as much time with them on the day as you hope so giving them each a little card to open at the end was a way of reminding them how much they meant to us.
Chuppah
Choosing our chuppah was one of the easiest decisions for us. We wanted it to be rustic with lots of flowers and twigs. Flowers, flowers and more flowers were a running theme throughout our day. Dave found a beautiful image online and our amazing florist (Flowers by Alina) brought it to life. We had Dave’s late grandfather’s tallit attached to the chuppah. We also had a long aisle runner surrounded with matching flowers and tall lanterns running all the way along it.
Ceremony
For us, the ceremony was the most important part of the entire day and we wanted to have it conducted by someone that we connect with. We chose to have my rabbi from a Jewish young professional programme that I was a member of as he had been such a positive influence on my spiritual life over the years.
Unfortunately, in a terrible turn of events, two weeks before our big day we heard the very sad news that he had come down with a serious brain infection and would no longer be able to attend. We were so worried for him and were of course heartbroken that he wouldn’t be sharing our day with us.
We were able to arrange for two other rabbis (from the same organisation) to step in on his behalf. In his stead, they read a speech that he had prepared. It was an extremely emotional moment for me.
In halakhic style, Dave and I decided to spend a week apart before the wedding, with an aisle badeken being our first look. I am technically Sephardi on my father’s side and we felt that an aisle badeken would be more powerful and would allow us to share that moment with all of our guests.
We had the most amazing chazan, Guy Barzilay, who we knew would bring a very Israeli style accompaniment to our chuppah and party. He was incredible and really sent shivers down everyone’s spines.
Ketubah
We did commission a custom ketubah design from a famous religious artist from Netanya in Israel, Abecassis, but were sadly unable to use it during the ceremony. The design represented his typical bright and surrealist style and incorporated elements of our two personalities – there was even a globe to indicate our shared love of travel.
Our music choice
Since we had a lot of guests joining us from Israel (lots of Dave’s family and friends are Israeli), we wanted to strongly represent this in our wedding music choices. This heavily influenced our choice of chazan and band, who were Guy Barzilay and XS Showband. We wanted a standout ‘big band’ style showband who could cater for all of our varying tastes and XS were perfect.
Not only did the band manager Fran massively support us in the run up to the wedding too by creating our day of plan and processional order, they also provided an amazing lady to run the event and we owe so much thanks to them for the smooth running of the day.
We requested two long party simcha sets with a mixture of Mizrahi and Israeli music – the energy was so much fun and everyone was on the dance floor. I had quite a big non-Jewish contingent at the wedding and they commented on how it was the most fun they’d ever had at a wedding.
I can’t express enough our love for Guy; we knew from the moment we heard him sing at a friend’s wedding that we had to have him at ours and he did not disappoint. His voice is simply incredible. Dave and his parents, bridesmaids and our siblings, walked down to ‘Meheira’ and I came into ‘Boi Beshalom’. We had a mix of party tunes from jazz and 80’s inspired right down to garage/hip hop vibes, the party carried on all the way until midnight.
Particularly special for us was having two guest performances from David’s sister, Daniella, and a good friend of ours, Rosanna. Both have the most amazing vocals and it really added a personal touch being able to have them involved in this way.
Our first dance was to a fairly unknown song by Jason Reeves. It’s quite a slow song so we set Arthur Murray’s dance school quite the challenge when we asked them to come up with a choreographed routine for it. Of course they did not disappoint and we really loved having the opportunity to practise the routine together in the run up to the wedding.
Flowers
To accompany our chuppah, my bouquet was a mixture of whites, soft pinks and greens with roses scattered here and there to add a romantic touch. Our groomsmen’s button holes followed this theme with a rose each.
I wanted to keep my bridesmaids bouquets simple to contrast with their dresses. I love baby’s breath so their bouquets were small bunches of gypsophila and this was also used to adorn their hair.
We had a mixture of table centres with half of our tables having big statement assortments and the other half a more subtle display. The big centrepieces consisted of tall sprays held inside glass vases; these included twigs, greenery, heads of flowers and floating candles – these really commanded attention on the table. The other half were bedecked with groups of stacked cylinder glasses vases filled with water, petals and floating candles.
We used Flowers by Alina and she was brilliant throughout the whole process, particularly in turning our creative ideas into reality – nothing was too crazy for her and she met every challenge with a solution.
Photographer
We were really happy with our decision to have The Crawleys photograph our big day. This was one of the only decisions we made without outside influence as we really wanted someone who represented our unique, slightly edgier style. Whilst most of our wedding was very traditional, it felt like a little victory having these amazing tattoo covered, beard wearing gents (just Lee) capture our wedding. We loved their more documentary, artsy approach and had so much fun crawling around on the grass acting out Liam’s spontaneous compositions.
Liam had a really down to earth, supporting presence and we loved having him around; it was like hanging out with a good friend. The finished images are not just beautiful but they are marvellous works of art.
Videography
For videography we chose Galaxy Video because I had seen an example of a cinematic trailer that they had done for a friend and was wowed by the quality.
The trailer they produced for us is better than we could have imagined. It flows so beautifully and tells a story which keeps the viewer gripped right up until the end. We love how they managed to really capture the emotion and playfulness of the day. It was a day that we really threw ourselves into, dancing like crazy and enjoying all of the love, and Galaxy represented this down to a T.
Food
We had Reich for our catering because we had a fairly big religious contingent and wanted to keep the standard of kashrut high. We were so amazed with the quality and presentation of the food that they presented.
We skipped a cake in favour of a trio of desserts; chocolate volcano cake to really represent our sweet tooth accompanied by an exotic fruit salad and coffee ice cream.
One of the running theme’s throughout our day was the presence of coffee and our love for it. We asked Reich to produce a signature espresso martini for us, a drink that they had never tasted let alone made before, and they did not disappoint.
Ice cream truck
Dave’s parents surprised us with an ice cream truck at the end of the night because they know how much we love ice cream.
Entertainment
Entertainment was provided by two of our loved ones who sang and serenaded the guests with their amazing vocal abilities.
In the style of Israel weddings, we also had the Magniv mobile photo magnet team taking photos of everyone throughout the festivities so that people could have a keepsake to take home from the day. We didn’t want to have a fixed photo booth which we felt would take guests away from the party and so having a roving team of photographers was an obvious choice. The Team at Magniv were so reliable and fantastic on the day, even providing us with a few larger print outs for myself and Dave to cherish forever. We would recommend them to anyone throwing a big event!
Favours
Running alongside our coffee theme, we had small packets of chocolate covered coffee beans that we designed and constructed ourselves. Each packet read ‘The Perfect Blend’.
We also had personalised pink kippot for all of the male guests, especially so that the non-Jewish contingent could feel involved in the religious element of the day. For the ladies, we had personalised pink hand fans so that they could keep cool throughout all the party balagan.
Creative ideas
All of the small touches on our day were designed and created by us personally.
The most creative and yet challenging idea that we had was to include an interactive seating chart to make the most of the gorgeous green landscape of the venue.
Using a beautiful, big tree in front of the ballroom, we had around 100 hanging slate hearts – each with an individual or couple’s names on and their respective table number. We included with these a sign handwritten by me with a poem that my mum had created and a couple of copper scissors for guests to cut their hearts down.
We almost didn’t finish the hearts in time as my mum, auntie and myself sat for hours on end in the week before the wedding writing each one with paint pens, cutting the ribbon and tying them. We swore we would never look at another slate heart again after that day. I absolutely loved how personal these were and how they represented a little bit of love from my family to our guests that they could take home and treasure for every. Although in hindsight we might have outsourced some expert help to do the painstaking calligraphy.
We had lots of signs around the venue to help sign post what things were, where people had to go and to represent a piece of our personality. I created all of the signs myself by hand with the exception of the wooden crate welcome sign that my florist provided.
For a guestbook, we wanted something to represent all of our guests whilst also being able to display this somewhere in our home. To tie in with our green, floral theme, I asked an amazing friend to paint a fingerprint tree guestbook on canvas for me. We then left out small fingerprint inks and pens so that guests could each add a fingerprint leaf to our tree.
We also had other elements around the venue. We asked our florist to provide a floral bench pergola to sit in the venue grounds because we wanted guests to really enjoy the scenery. She also brought along a couple of large barrels and three big, light up letters with our initials and ampersand to accompany our sparkly LED dance floor.
For the party and in Israeli style, we had lots of neon accessories and fancy-dress props to really help everyone get into the spirit of things.
Honeymoon
We are planning a long honeymoon to Thailand in December to get away from the cold, London weather. I have been to Thailand before and it was a good choice for us because we wanted somewhere which was easy and stress free, with both relaxing and more energetic activities to keep us busy. We are planning it ourselves as I have been for a long trip there before so have an idea of what and where we should be going.
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
For anyone planning a wedding, we would definitely recommend doing a choreographed first dance and going to dance classes in the build up.
No matter how organised you are, or how conciliatory, wedding planning is extremely stressful. So many moving parts, so many stakeholders to please and budgets to squeeze. It will no doubt put untold strain on the relationship and is a test of the strength of your bond and ability to work through the issues.
One really great piece of advice we got was to get a hobby together that was a safe space away from the day-to-day wedding planning stress – carve out some couple time just for the two of you. We did this in the form of a choregraphed first dance. We went to Arthur Murray in Barnet following a recommendation from another Brides Club member.
Having these classes was a brilliant way to de-stress and spend time together as a couple. Even after we’d had a disagreement, we still had to go to the lesson and dance together. Had to be intimate and in close proximity, even if a burning wedding related conflict was bubbling under the surface. We very quickly got over our tensions through this, forgot the details and learnt to remember what it was all about for – the union of two people who love each other.
We would also very much recommend getting a day of coordinator. Someone who gets your vision and can represent you on the day when you are both pre-disposed. It’s all very well planning a wedding down to the last detail but things can and will go wrong if you are not around to coordinate the final execution. As much as we tried to manage everything and delegate, we feel that a few of the things that went wrong could have been avoided if we had appointed someone to watch over the final delivery.
And remember, no matter what happens, you will have the best day of your life. No matter all the heart ache, pain and stress leading up to that point in time. No matter if something is forgotten; the guest book table isn’t set up, or the fans aren’t placed on each chair… there is no such thing as a bad wedding. The moment you step out onto the aisle it will all wash away and it’ll just be you and your love in your happy place; with all of the people who care about you.
Nicola & Dave’s little white book
Photography – The Crawleys {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Videography – Galaxy Video {offers complimentary 60-second Instagram teaser to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Magnets – Magniv {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Band – XS Showband
Venue – Offley Place Country House Hotel
Production – Main Events
Bride’s dress – Pronovias
Bride’s shoes – Rainbow Club and Converse
Bride’s accessories – Liberty in Love and Britten
Groom’s attire – Suit Supply and Giftpup
Bridesmaids – Oasis, JJSHouse and ASOS
Hair + Makeup – The Makeup Girl
Flowers – Flowers by Alina
Catering – Reich
Chazan – Guy Barzilay
Invitation – Mint Maker Studio and Kisharon
Dance school – Arthur Murray
Gifts for mums – Missoma
I have attended one Jewish wedding in France and it was amazing, they really have fun on the day. this one is very well documented, beautiful venue and people. Great work!