We are so in love with today’s stunning same sex Jewish wedding! New Yorkers Max, Director of Startup Ecosystem Development at SAP, and Zach, Director of Artist Relations + Partnerships at Great Bowery’s Trunk Archive, crafted a day that perfectly blended Jewish tradition with impeccable contemporary style.
Same sex Orthodox weddings are still in their early years, and we love that Max and Zach – along with their officiant, Rabbi Avram Mlotek – are at the forefront. The pair worked with their rabbi to craft a ceremony that aligned with their values as Modern Orthodox Jews AND as members of the LGBTQ+ community.
While much of the ceremony looked like any traditional Jewish wedding, one difference is that instead of a traditional ketubah, Max and Zach opted to use a Shtar Shutafut, a Halachic Partnership Contract, to formalize their marriage. The couple worked with Rabbi Mlotek on the text. They also exchanged rings under the chuppah, and each smashed a glass.
It’s so heartwarming to see how Max and Zach were able to craft the wedding of their dreams, without having to compromise on any aspect of their identities – and you can really see the joy in each and every shot by photographer David Perlman.
There’s so much more to say – like how much we love that the duo named their signature cocktail the Goldie Spritz, after their rescue dog! – but we’ll turn you over to the grooms for the rest…
How we Met
Max and Zach, the grooms: We first matched in November 2018 when we were both home visiting our families on Long Island, NY for Thanksgiving. We instantly clicked on our first date in December 2018, which coincided with the second night of Chanukah. We were engaged on March 13, 2022 and the rest is history.
A Venue for a Crowd
Our wedding took place at Crest Hollow Country Club in Woodbury, New York. We picked Crest Hollow as they could accommodate a large crowd, offered Glatt Kosher catering and was located near both our families.
Black and White
We coordinated the entire wedding ourselves and opted for a classic grayscale color theme. All of our collateral was designed in black, white, and silver.
Attire
Our wedding was formal attire. We both had shawl collar tuxedos made by Suit Supply. Our “Grooms’ Team” also wore tuxedos and the women wore dresses that aligned with our grayscale color palette.
Ceremony and Chuppah
Our same-sex Modern-Orthodox Jewish wedding was full of traditions. We built an incredible relationship with Rabbi Avram Mlotek who helped us craft a ceremony that aligned with our values. These types of ceremonies are still in their early years and we’re proud to be part of a community of progressive Modern-Orthodox Jews that embraces the LGBTQ+ community.
A space was dedicated during the cocktail hour where our legal and halachic (Jewish legal) marriage documents were each signed by two witnesses. After the signing, our moms broke a plate to symbolize the seriousness of our commitment to one another since the plate can never be put back together.
After the cocktail hour, guests gathered in the English Garden for our Chuppah. Since October weather in NY is unpredictable, we had blankets on hand in case anyone was cold and the venue had golf carts available to transport guests around the property. We couldn’t have asked for better weather.
Our family walked down the aisle first, followed by each of us, escorted by our parents. We were welcomed at the Chuppah with the singing of Vezakeini, a prayer about yearning to raise children and grandchildren that light up the world. During the song, we both donned a kittel (white robe) and tallit (prayer shawl), to signify the purity and newness of marriage. After the opening blessing and reading of our Shtar Shutafut (Partnership Contract), we exchanged rings. Seven different blessings were read under the Chuppah by close family and friends followed by both of us breaking a glass.
Shtar Shutafut
Instead of a traditional ketubah, we opted to use a Shtar Shutafut, a Halachic Partnership Contract, to formalize our marriage. We worked with Rabbi Mlotek on the text and designed our Shtar with Emma from Happy Project Shop on Etsy.
Our Music Choice
We hired a vocalist, keyboardist, saxophone player and electric violinist for the cocktail hour. We were welcomed at the Chuppah with the singing of Vezakeini, a prayer about yearning to raise children and grandchildren that light up the world.
A band kicked-off the first dance set featuring traditional Jewish and Israeli music and we then transitioned to a Azamra DJ for the remainder of the event. A portion of the first dance set was set aside for “shtik”,where friends and family danced and performed in front of us to bring us joy. Our first dance was set to ‘Simply the Best’ by Tina Turner.
Flowers
We kept the aesthetic clean, simple, and masculine. We worked with an incredible floral designer, Virgil Alessi, from Flowers by Brian to craft three centerpiece looks featuring calla lilies and floating candles. We also used calla lilies for the bouquets we gave to the women in our “Grooms’ Team.”
Photographer
Given that we’re both from creative backgrounds, photography was a major priority for us. We loved David Perlman’s style and were thrilled to be able to work with the lead photographer from his studio to capture our special day. We love how the images turned out!
Extra details
There were a few creative touches that made our wedding special to us. We created a signature cocktail, The Goldie Spritz, that was named after our rescue dog, Goldie. A photo booth was available throughout the evening and gave guests a fun opportunity to capture memories. As children at heart, we finished off the evening with a cotton candy station – that got rave reviews from our guests.
Advice to other couples planning their wedding
Staying organized and being proactive with providing all info to our vendors and families ensured that the day ran smoothly. We used Airtable to manage our guest list, seating charts, and to track gifts and thank you cards. On the experience side – we highly recommend changing from dress shoes to comfy sneakers during the party.
MAX & ZACH’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK
Photography – David Perlman
Venue – Crest Hollow Country Club
Groom’s attire – Suit Supply
Flowers – Flowers by Brian
DJ – Azamra DJ
Catering – Crest Hollow Country Club
Shtar Shutafut – Happy Project Shop
Rabbi – Rabbi Avram Mlotek
Smash The Glass Pouch – Smashing The Glass Etsy Shop {or join Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club and get one for free!}
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So many fun photos celebrating all the traditional elements in the wedding.
Love it!