If you could use an extra infusion of Jewish joy right now, look no further – we promise you the Jewish wedding of Judith, a senior manager at an IT consultancy, and Josh, a teacher at a secondary school, will put a BIG smile on your face.
We’re in love with all of the personal DIY touches the couple incorporated into their big day to make it 100%, totally them. We can’t get enough of the fun DIY activity sessions Judith and Josh set up for their guests, featuring everything from a giant Guess Who game with members of the wedding party as all the faces to an art station where guests could decorate mini canvases! Don’t miss them in the wonderful photos by Natalie and Max.
Another thing we love is that when it came to music, the duo opted to invite friends to do guest DJ sets all through the wedding with the theme of “music through the ages” – how fun is that?!
This was a wedding with lots of moving parts to be organized, and Judith and Josh wisely opted to work with Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Events by Natasha as their on-the-day coordinator to make sure everything ran smoothly. In Judith’s words, “Natasha and her team were absolutely fantastic on the day – they prepared everything so beautifully, and were really instrumental in making things run smoothly and to time. It really allowed us to just “press play” on the day and see all the hard work being put into motion, without us having to worry about anything.”
Read on for more fabulous details in the bride’s own words!
How We Met
Judith, the bride: We met as many modern couples do, using the help of the handy dating app Hinge! Josh was drawn in by the colourful rainbow makeup and unitard displayed on Judith’s profile (evidence of one of the many themed zoom hang-outs Judith had with her dance troupe over lockdown), and Judith was impressed by video footage of Josh scaling the boulder at Mabley Green, showing his climbing prowess and shared interest in bouldering.
We met for dinner and a drink at a local Japanese bar, and enjoyed each others’ company over some tasty sushi. The conversation flowed, and the smiles and laughs kept coming. It was Chanukah, and towards the end of the date, Josh asked whether Judith had been lighting candles to celebrate. Much to her surprise, he reached into his bag and produced a full Chanukiah, set of candles, and a lighter. Together, in the middle of the bar, we smiled across at one another in the candlelight. Judith thought it was a great story to take back to her family… little did she know that this would be the person she would want to smile and light candles with for the rest of her life!
A Country House Venue
We got married at Parklands Quendon Hall in Essex. We wanted to get married somewhere surrounded by greenery, and somewhere large enough to accommodate a large guest list of family and friends. We visited many venues, but as soon as we set eyes on Quendon we knew that it was something special. They had great options for both outdoor and indoor ceremonies – and we were lucky enough to be able to have our dream outdoor ceremony in August. We loved that it was exclusive hire and that weddings were their bread and butter – they really helped us throughout the planning process and it was great to know we could use all of the space as we chose.
Theme and on-the-day coordinator
We made many decisions to add our own special touches to the day, and make it feel like “us”. For example, we drafted a personalised ceremony booklet, that helped explain the Jewish marriage ceremony and the special extras we added to make things resonate with us (such as Judith wrapping Josh’s tallit around him after the bedekken, to represent reciprocation and equity in our relationship).
We wanted to make sure there was fun for everyone, so we had fun DIY activity stations (e.g. a selfie station, an art station where guests could decorate mini canvases, a giant Guess Who game with members of the wedding party as all the faces, and a guestbook with a polaroid camera). We loved adding those special little touches – for example, we gave each table a number and a personalised name of a place that was close to our hearts, and wrote a short story about it on the back of the table sign.
Our guests really loved this, and felt privileged to be on a table with a location that also in many cases meant something to them too. We added other touches as well, e.g. on the tables we placed some origami napkin folding instructions and a poem to encourage guests to take fun photos, and we left a box of sanitary products in the women’s toilet so no one would be caught out. All of these little things were noticed and appreciated.
We were fortunate enough to have some friends make a beautiful personal logo/branding for us for the wedding, which we included in all our printed designs and helped bring everything together. We managed to do a lot of the printing quite cheaply through Vistaprint or Printed.com, but for the benschers we used Resolution Print.
We booked Events by Natasha to be our on-the-day coordinator. We booked a package that started before the wedding, so we could get her advice on things such as our schedule, seating plan, etc. Natasha and her team were absolutely fantastic on the day – they prepared everything so beautifully, and were really instrumental in making things run smoothly and to time. It really allowed us to just “press play” on the day and see all the hard work being put into motion, without us having to worry about anything. We are quite detail oriented and had lots of bits and pieces to set up on the day, and Natasha took it in her stride.
Invitation + Stationery
We created a wedding website through With Joy. This included our story, wedding schedule, who’s who (with photos of the wedding party), info on travel, registry etc. We sent invitations via email through this wedding website, where we were able to choose a beautiful theme.
For our printed items (such as signs, table numbers/names, ceremony booklets, stickers, etc.), Judith did the majority of the design work using Canva, and incorporated a beautiful logo/branding that was created for us by our friends at Kiss Branding. We then printed via Vistaprint and Printed.com, at very reasonable prices. We had our benscher covers printed and attached to the books by Resolution Print. As we supplied our own design, they are very unique.
Hair + Makeup
I found Karen Starr online and really liked the natural hair and makeup looks. She was very responsive and reasonably priced, so I booked in a trial. She was brilliant, making me feel so at ease and I felt she did really well at enhancing my features rather than masking them. On the day, she and her assistant did hair and makeup for myself, my bridesmaids, and my mother in law, and they were all really happy and looked gorgeous.
It all stayed in place until the end of the night, and I was really comfortable throughout. Highly recommend!
Dress
The dress was from Fairy Goth Mother, and designed by Lillian West. I wanted to go for a relaxed boho style A-line dress, and this was perfect. I was a little concerned about modesty for the ceremony, but as we were about to leave the shop the assistant found that it had beautiful detachable sleeves! This meant I had two looks in one for the day, and didn’t have to purchase a separate cover for the ceremony.
Accessories + Shoes
I bought most of my accessories via Etsy! That included my hairpeice, necklace, and earrings. Etsy is a great source of inspiration too, and you can find beautiful things at a reasonable price – just make sure to check the reviews. I needed a double layered veil for the bedekken, and found a beautiful one at Lace and Favour by Rainbow Club. Elbow length was perfect for me.
For my shoes, I wanted to reuse rather than buy. I had some gorgeous swing dance shoes that were a bit scuffed, so I bought some leather shoe paint from Angelus and after a few coats they looked good as new! This was brilliant as they were already worn in and comfortable.
Bridesmaids
I had three Maids of Honour. They are all very different, and one of them lives in Lisbon, so we went online to find suitable dresses. I wanted them all in the same colour and fabric, but was very happy for them to choose a shape/style that worked for them. We used JJs House to find three lovely dresses in Dusty Blue. We did have some issues with the sizes. JJs have a try on service, which my bridesmaids used, but then when ordering the final dress they came out differently from the sizes they had previously tried. All was sorted, but it was a bit frustrating.
Ceremony & Chuppah
We had many great conversations with our Rabbi before the big day, which meant he incorporated some of the explanations about the ceremony that really resonated with us. We decided to do an on-the-aisle bedekken, and we also added our own touch of Judith wrapping Josh’s tallit around him after the bedekken as an act of reciprocation.
Our brilliant florist – Flowers by Alina – provided the chuppah and decorated it beautifully. It was a very relaxed and straightforward process to work with her to decide what aesthetic we wanted, and she really brought it to life. We decided to use the standard United Synagogue ketubah, which is actually very beautifully designed. We are about to order a frame for it so we can hang it proudly!
Our music choice
We decided to do things our own way, and invite our friends to do guest DJs sets at the wedding with the theme of “music through the ages”.
Judith is a swing dancer, so it was natural for the first set of the evening entertainment to be swing music from the 30s and 40s. This got everyone up on the dance floor and her dance friends really put on a show! We then moved through to 60s hits, and then to 70s/80s disco jams, which encouraged all ages to have a boogie. We then had some epic 90s/00s bangers, before ending the evening with modern tunes.
The atmosphere was amazing, and our chosen friends were honoured to play a part in our special day. Not to mention, it was also a lot cheaper than hiring a professional DJ! One of the incredible best men coordinated the rest of the music throughout the day, always making sure there were some great tunes playing in the background.
We were lucky to have a sound desk and part lights that we could borrow, and we did need to make sure we bought separate liability insurance and had various tech PAT tested – so if you want to do DIY music this may be something to think about. Make sure to chat with your venue on their expectations.
Flowers
We went to the fantastic Flowers by Alina for all our flower needs. We heard about her through a family friend, and were so happy with the service. We met with her a couple of times before the day, and she really took the time to understand what we wanted, and offered us options for how we could keep costs within budget. The final result was absolutely gorgeous – the flowers were fresh and vibrant, and we had so many compliments from the guests!
Photographer and videographer
We met Natalie and Max at a wedding fair held at our venue, Parklands Quendon Hall. Judith caught a glimpse of some sample wedding albums and loved the light and airy style, and the candid documentary style shots. They got chatting and really clicked. Natalie was so helpful in the run-up to the day, sending a great wedding-prep booklet that she had written with hints and tips, and in our pre-wedding meeting really got things organised so everyone was on the same page.
Unfortunately, Max (the videographer) was unable to make it last minute due to a personal emergency, so Lindsey was recommended and stepped in. Natalie let me know that Lindsey was the videographer for her own wedding, so I knew we were in safe hands! The photos were provided to us really quickly after the wedding, and are gorgeous. We are so happy with them, and excited to get a printed album. The video has not been released yet, but we are sure it will be stunning.
Food and cake
We had the phenomenal Eat-me Events for our catering. The food was exquisite in taste and presentation, and the staff were incredible on the day. We were so taken care of by the staff, and we had so many people compliment the food. I only wish I had taken some food for later!
They also provided the cake, which was based on some designs that we sent over. It was super tasty, and looked brilliant. They even lit a sparkler as we were ready to cut into it! We really were so impressed by the service and quality of the catering.
Extra Details
Some further things we did to make the day our own: – speeches: we had speeches from our parents, best man and maid of honour, and we did a joint speech ourselves. We spread these out throughout the day, which kept things interesting, and made sure that some of the speeches were later in the evening so that our evening guests could appreciate them.
– we made a giant Guess Who game, featuring the faces of members of the wedding party. The guests loved this and we saw it was always being played. It also helped people learn the faces and names of our family and best people!
– we didn’t want throw-away wedding favours, so we sourced lots of mini succulents and added personalised stickers that said “Take me home!”. People loved these, and it has been so lovely to see people sending us photos of their succulents in their homes! We sourced these through hcflorestbedford@gmail.com
Wedding List
We created a wedding website through With Joy which we used for our registry. We added lots of different entries, including specific items, funds (e.g. allowing guests to contribute toward our honeymoon pot, or future home fund), and charities of our choice.
Honeymoon
We took a couple of “minimoons” after the wedding, to a festival in Northampton, and then to Majorca. These were the perfect blend of celebration and relaxation, that helped us float back down slowly from the high of the wedding day. We are hoping to do a big trip next year to Mexico and South America!
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
– We did a lot of organising and planning beforehand, so that we could forget about it on the day and just enjoy. We had lots of little responsibilities that we delegated out, which made people feel special and involved, but also meant that no-one was too stretched and everyone could enjoy the day
– schedule in “wedmin” sessions at regular intervals so that things keep moving forward, and you don’t feel like every day has to be about the wedding prep. Prioritise your to do list and distinguish between the “must haves” and the “nice to haves”, so you can use your time effectively and not panic if important things are left too late
– discuss with your partner upfront what is important to them for the day, and find a middle ground so you are moving in the same direction. Having a shared vision for the day is important in being able to make decisions – e.g. guestlist size, venue aesthetic, style of entertainment, etc. For us, having lots of people that love us be invited was important, so we had a much larger event, rather than going for a more intimate affair.
– the little details don’t have to cost much, or anything, and they really do get noticed. Think about things that would make you smile and see how you can add them in
– things won’t be perfect, and that’s ok. Try to see things as “happy accidents” – play to your strengths. There is a lot to do when planning a wedding, and some tasks will be better suited to different people. Don’t be afraid to lean on others
– don’t let the stress or pressure of planning get in the way of your relationship. Tackle it as a team, and keep it that way. The main thing that needs to happen is that you get married (say that to each other like a mantra). Everything else is extra!
– family will want to weigh in their wants and needs. Whilst ensuring everyone is happy at your wedding, continue to remind yourself that its your special day. Many will just follow along with your vision.
JUDITH & JOSH’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK
Photography + videography – Natalie and Max
On-the-day coordinator – Events by Natasha {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Venue – Quendon Hall
Bride’s dress – Lillian West found at Fairy Goth Mother
Bride’s accessories – Lace and Favour, Etsy
Bridesmaids – JJs House
Hair + Makeup – Karen Starr
Flowers – Flowers by Alina
Catering + Cake – Eat-me Events
Stationery/Invitation + printing – Canva, Vistaprint, Printed.com, Resolution Print
Wedding Registry – With Joy
Smash The Glass Pouch – Smashing The Glass Etsy Shop {or join Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club and get one for free!}
If you’re a Jewish or Jew-ish bride-to-be, you’ll want to join Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club. Guided by the world’s number 1 Jewish wedding expert, Karen Cinnamon, Brides Club is the private community for Jewish and Jew-ish brides that removes wedstress and indecision and gives you what you need to plan with confidence during these uncertain times. Join our Brides Club here.
