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The Ultimate Guide to Choosing a Ketubah You’ll Still Love in 50 Years {with Melanie Dankowicz}

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Flowery-Lace-Ketubah-in-gold-by-Melanie-Dankowicz

Photo by Owen Billcliffe

So much of wedding planning is about curating a perfect moment in time. Gorgeous flowers, delicious cake, music that gets everyone on the dance floor – it’s all so special, but at the same time so fleeting. 

But your ketubah? That’s forever.

Connection Ketubah with orchids by Melanie Dankowicz

Your ketubah is more than just a formality – it’s one of the most meaningful parts of a Jewish wedding. It’s at the heart of your big day, a reflection of your values – and if you choose wisely, it’ll also be a piece of art you’ll delight in seeing on your wall every single day for years to come. 

Garden Ketubah in Rose Gold by Melanie Dankowicz

Elizabeth and Bernie‘s Jewish wedding | Photo by Maya Myers

To help you choose a ketubah that’ll still make your heart skip a beat on your 50th anniversary, we chatted with renowned papercut artist Melanie Dankowicz. With her decades of experience creating exquisite Judaica that blends tradition and contemporary elegance, Melanie knows exactly how to design a ketubah that will stand the test of time. Read on for her top tips on choosing one that’s just right for you. 

Photo by Stevie Dee

Quality is Everything

You and your partner are in it for the long haul – and your ketubah should be, too. Your ketubah should last as long as your marriage (and then some). That’s why Melanie emphasizes choosing archival-quality materials. The paper, inks, and finishes should all be designed to last – no fading, yellowing, or crumbling allowed.

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The Art of Displaying Your Ketubah {with Love Letters}

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If you’re the kind of person who curates your home like a Pinterest board – a palette of soft neutrals, clean lines, and a minimalism aesthetic – but find it hard to add a touch of Jewish pride that actually fits your space, you’re not alone.

Traditional Judaica holds deep beauty and meaning, but it doesn’t always fit the kind of home you’d see in Architectural Digest. And so many ketubahs feel more like they belong in your bubbie’s apartment – rich with history, but not quite the clean, modern vibe so many of us are drawn to now. So instead of being displayed, they’re often rolled up or tucked away, when really, they deserve their own special place.

That’s the problem Love Letters Ketubahs set out to solve.

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Ketubah 101: Everything You Need to Know about the Ketubah

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Alana and TJ‘s Jewish Wedding | Photo by EFEGE

Your ketubah is more than just a piece of paper—it’s a beautiful, meaningful document that represents your love, commitment, and the unique story of your marriage. But if you’re just diving into the world of Jewish wedding planning, you might be wondering: What exactly is the significance of a ketubah? Do we really need one? How do we pick the right one for us?

To answer all these questions (and many, many more!), we sat down with Adam Paskow, founder of Judaica brand Tchotchke, to get the lowdown on all things ketubah. 

Evilish Eye Ketubah

Tchotchke, best known for their playful menorahs, mezuzahs, and kiddush cups, has just launched their brand new ketubah line. Featuring whimsical designs with a nod to tradition, each piece is designed for couples who feel that Judaism is an expression of ourselves and the spaces we inhabit. Based in New York City and shipping internationally, Tchotchke’s ketubah designs are some of the coolest we’ve seen—and we see a lot!

Papercut Ketubah

Whether you’re looking for guidance on selecting a design, navigating different text options, or even choosing the best pen for signing, we’ve got you covered. Keep reading for your ultimate ketubah crash course.

Ketubah 101

Alana and TJ‘s Jewish Wedding | Photo by EFEGE

What is a ketubah?

Simply put, a ketubah is a Jewish wedding contract. It was originally created to financially protect women in case of divorce or widowhood, and ensure that the wife was properly cared for throughout the marriage. For most of us these days, it’s more of a symbolic representation of a couple’s union.

Why should we get a ketubah?

The reason to get a ketubah has evolved for most of us—what was once a legal document, for many people, is now a personal artifact from the most magical and transformative day of your life. We believe that couples should have a ketubah they want to hang proudly in their home not only for sentimental reasons, but also to celebrate their Judaism, regardless of what Judaism means to them. It’s our responsibility to fill our homes with Jewish art to preserve our history, customs and culture.

Full Cup Ketubah

What does a ketubah say?

We have many options of ketubah text to choose from, as well as an option to write your own. While these days, different denominations have different requirements and allowances for ketubah text, it is essentially a contract between partners on their wedding day, stating their obligations to each other. Some denominations use text that is relatively standardized, for example, an Orthodox ketubah does not generally differ from couple to couple, whereas a secular couple may choose to write their own ketubah, treating it more like an extension of their vows.

Petals Ketubah

Can we have a ketubah for our interfaith wedding?

Absolutely. We have an interfaith text option that celebrates mutual respect, understanding and compassion for each other’s beliefs while recognizing that shared religion isn’t a necessary ingredient for a healthy, happy, fulfilling union.  

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How to Choose Your Ketubah {with Danny Azoulay}

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The absolutely enormous variety of ketubahs out there can overwhelm even the most know-what they-want, self-assured kind of couple—let alone the rest of us. But choosing your ketubah doesn’t have to stressful – and with a few helpful tips, it can be one of the most meaningful and enjoyable parts of your planning process.

We asked internationally acclaimed Israel-based ketubah artist Danny Azoulay, who has been designing ketubahs for years, for some guidance on how to choose the right ketubah, one that reflects your shared vision and aesthetics as a couple and speaks to all the hopes and dreams you bring to your married life. Danny shared some truly great advice, so if you’ve yet to select your ketubah, do read on!

Get Started

As a first step, Danny suggests narrowing the field. Limiting your search from the beginning by asking yourself these basic questions can help you avoid getting overwhelmed. You’ll probably find you have a good idea what you like and what you don’t care for as much, so a try to not get waylaid with choices that will utterly throw you off course.

First off, think about the style you prefer. Are you looking for:

  1. Something classic
  2. A traditional design
  3. Contemporary
  4. Eclectic

Then, figure out your color scheme:

  1. Soft palette: pastels
  2. Whites and off-whites
  3. Bold colors
  4. Metallic embellishments; gold or silver

Stay on Budget

First, the good news: there are beautiful ketubahs available to suit all budgets, so no matter how much or little you have to spend, you can find something beautiful and meaningful.

But, if ketubahs are your thing and you have a little wiggle room in your budget, Danny suggests that this might be an area where you’ll want to splurge a little. After all, your ketubah is one of the few things from your wedding that you’ll get to take home with you after the celebrations are over—and so many STG couples proudly display their ketubah as a piece of art in a prominent place in their home.

Narrow It Down

Another suggestion of Danny’s is, after you have narrowed your search, to place your 3-4 semi-finalists side by side—either as printouts or on the screen. Seeing one next to the other really can prove helpful in being able to reach a decision, or at least at narrowing it down to the finalists.

Now, you need to ask yourself, which one do you want to live with and look at for the rest of your life (Sounds familiar, right?).  After a day or two, return to that question with fresh eyes one more time to be sure of your decision.

Work Together

When you make your choice, it’s not just the final result that matters; you’ll also want to think about what the process of creating your dream ketubah will be like. Remember to pick a company or artist that is professional; one you’ll be able to work with easily and who has good lines of communication. Danny Azoulay says this is a major consideration:  “The process of text and personalization requires that your ketubah maker be aware of all the possible pitfalls involved with different text requirements, and especially about timeline.” He also encourages couples to contact the artist they’re considering and feel them out before committing.

Choose Your Text

Now to the most important part: the text. When figuring out your ketubah text, the first thing you’ll need to do is check with your rabbi or officiant. They may have a set text they require to use.

If that’s not the case for you, you’ll have some choices to make. You can search for a text that is representative of their beliefs, values and view of the life you will create together as a couple. You could also consider writing your own text.

Regardless, if you’ve found an artist you like, be sure to check out the texts that artist can provide, and how flexible they are when it comes to using custom text. No matter how gorgeous their art, if they can’t work with the text you need it’s not a fit.

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Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained – The Ketubah

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Ketubah
All imagery by Blake Ezra Photography. 

Welcome to the first post in our 8-part series of Jewish Wedding Traditions explained.

This week it’s all about the Ketubah. The Ketubah is the name of the traditional Jewish marriage certificate; in Hebrew the word Ketubah literally means ‘something written’.

The content of a Ketubah has always traditionally been a one-way document detailing what the groom must provide to the bride in their married lives together, which includes three main things — clothing, food and physical relations.

This ancient document used to deal with concepts such as payments for marriage, which in today’s modern world simply aren’t applicable to most of us. One passage says, “All my property, real and personal, even the shirt from my back, shall be mortgaged to secure the payment of this marriage contract.” We can understand it not as a way to “secure the payment” of the marriage, but as the groom saying to his bride, ‘everything I have is also yours, down to the shirt on my back’.

The Ketubah - Jewish Wedding Traditions Explained
If you’re planning a wedding the Ketubah can be a great thing to personalise to make it more relevant to you. A Ketubah can be decorated in many different ways, with illustrations around the text or colours that represent something about you, indeed there are many artists who custom-make Ketubot, all with a presence on the internet.

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