Real Jewish Brides: How Nargiz Is Making Both Jewish And Non-Jewish Guests Feel Included

Nargiz will be marrying Ryan on 9th November 2019 at Farmington Hills Manor, in Farmington Hills, Michigan, USA. Click here to read all Nargiz’s planning posts to date.

THREE FACTS: (1) Nargiz was born in Baku, Azerbaijan, and the wedding will combine her family’s traditions – they are Mountain Jews, or Gorski, and their culture is a mix of Persian and Middle Eastern influences – and Ryan’s American Ashkenazi background. (2) Nargiz’s mother tragically passed away last summer, so she has been facing wedding planning without her mom by her side. (3) Nargiz is a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!

Different cultures, religions and ethnic backgrounds

In today’s world, it is very common for people of different cultures, religions and ethnic backgrounds to cross paths. It’s not like how things used to be 100 years ago in Russia, Azerbaijan or nearby countries. Back then, people stayed in the same city and town where their parents were born, and where their grandparents were raised. As a result, people and different cultures were not integrated as much.

Today, more and more people have moved their families to different cities, countries and even different continents. Everyone has their own reason to do so.

Friends and family from all over the world

My family moved to America from Azerbaijan. America is known to be a huge melting pot. Since I have been in America for over 20 years now, I have made friends who come from different backgrounds. I have Jewish friends whose grandparents emigrated from Russia, Ukraine, Poland, and other eastern European Countries. I have friends whose parents and grandparents came from Iraq, Italy, Argentina, Albania, Lebanon, and Syria, just to name a few. My friends’ different backgrounds and traditions makes our friendships more interesting, fun and enlightening.

What’s happening during the ceremony?

Some of my friends have never been to a Jewish wedding and I am very excited for them to come to mine and experience one. Most wedding receptions are very similar. People eat, they dance, they cut the cake, etc., but the wedding ceremonies from different religions and cultures tend to differ.

In order for all of our non-Jewish guests to feel included and understand the Jewish wedding ceremony, we are going to have a wedding program outlining all the steps and their symbolism. I think wedding programs that list the different steps in the ceremony are a great little touch to add to a wedding. This way, non-Jewish guests [and even some Jewish guests] can follow along and understand what is happening during the ceremony.

When I go to a non-Jewish wedding and I watch the wedding ceremonies, sometimes I have no clue what certain things mean for that particular religion or background. It would be nice to have something to read and follow along. I think it makes the ceremony more meaningful when you understand what is actually happening.

For our ceremony, we are doing the badeken and ketubah signing, the Sheva Brachot and wrapping the tallit, the circling, breaking of the glass, and the yichud. We are going to do the Ketubah singing and the badeken during the same time.

Our ketubah signing will include our close family, friends and bridal party. It will be a more intimate part of the ceremony. Then, we will follow by walking down the aisle and doing the other traditions. With the wedding program, people will be able to understand what different aspects of the ceremony mean in our religion.

Different kind of music

Another way to make non-Jewish guests feel included is through music. No matter the language a song is, if the beat is great, everyone will dance. We plan to have all kinds of songs played at our wedding, Russian songs, Azerbaijani songs, Israeli songs and of course songs by American artists. I think if you have delicious food, great music and alcohol, everyone will have fun and enjoy their night!