Amanda will be marrying Adam on 25th March 2018 in a Jewish wedding at Braxted Park, UK.
THREE FACTS: (1) Amanda & Adam met outside in a bar in Tel Aviv (2) Adam has a ridiculous sense of humor (as described by Amanda!) and we love him all the more for it (3) Amanda & Adam’s wedding is 100% focused on all the people and things that mean the most to them.
“Wait… but why?”
Adam: “Are there any other roles we can give out on the day of the wedding?”
Amanda: “Well, there’s always the toast to the Queen…you know…where you sing the national anthem….*trails off*”
Adam: “Wait, you do what?! But why?!”
Amanda: “Sing the national anthem?
…actually, I have no idea why we do that…it does feel weird when you say it like that. My mum will know…”
*Calls mum*
Amanda: “Mum, why on earth do we toast the queen and sing the national anthem at weddings?”
Mum: “Good question…I always remember it being a signal to the smokers that the speeches were over so they could go outside.”
Amanda: “But that can’t be the actual reason…
Mum: “Hmm no, it can’t be. I’m actually not sure… ?”
(As it happens, after a bit of further research, I discovered that the toast to the Queen is deemed a mark of respect for the country we live in, immediately following the toast to the State of Israel. I’m still not sure if anybody outside the UK has these traditions? I don’t ever remember hearing of a Jewish wedding in the USA where they sang the Star Spangled Banner….
This conversation is just one recent example of how as a couple, we’ve begun to really challenge what we know about weddings and those things that we do at them ‘just because’. For us, Adam’s fairly non-religious upbringing means he questions things in a way I would never have thought to. We are also lucky enough to have close friends who have taught us to challenge the status quo, think outside the box and make things meaningful to us.
This has led us to plan a wedding that is not dictated by ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ but instead is guided by our personalities and the things that are meaningful to us. Apart from allowing us to really get behind the decisions we’re making, this has also saved us from spending a load of money on things which simply aren’t important to us. As a result, we’ve eliminated a wedding cake, wedding cars and the aforementioned ‘toasts’ from our day. It is also playing a huge part in our conversations around the type of religious ceremony we’ll have (but that’s a whole other blog post!)
Aside from simply eliminating the things we don’t want, this approach to our wedding planning means that we’ve agreed on some more traditional bits that we want to keep. For example, my Dad will be walking me down the aisle because I feel strongly about having a few moments with him before the ceremony and I’ll most likely be spending the whole morning getting ready with my Mum.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against doing things traditionally (however you define that), but I’ve come to realise how important the ‘why’ behind our decisions are. For somebody who spends 90% of my time at work asking people to explain why they have done things, it’s a wonder it’s taken me so long to get here!! I’ve found that understanding why you’re doing something gives you so much more confidence in your decisions, whether its the job you’re doing, the places you’re planning to travel to, or the wedding you’re trying to create. If you know why you’re doing something, you can’t go wrong…even if the reason is simply ‘because I really like it’!
As we continue to make these decisions, we’re so lucky to have 4 supportive parents behind us. Those who know me, with know that on occasion(to put it mildly), I can overthink things, losing perspective on what really matters. Our parents’ laid back and flexible approach has steered us back on track, without pushing us in a particular direction. They are completely open to learning new things with us and in some ways, they’re more excited than us to do things a little differently!
Click here to read all Amanda’s planning posts to date.
Amanda & Adam’s Wedding Vendors booked so far:
Venue – Braxted Park
Photographer – Steve Carter Hewson
Band – LDN Party Band
