Mel will be marrying Mitch on Sunday 18 March 2018, in a Jewish wedding at Warren Weir at Luton Hoo, UK.
THREE FACTS: (1) Mel and Mitch met online on JDate (2) Their Jewish wedding will be classy and traditional with plenty of modern touches (3) Mel is a member of Smashing The Glass’s private Jewish & Jew-ish Brides Facebook Group. Not yet a member? Come join us here!
Food glorious food
Imagine you’re arriving in New York. What’s the first thing you would do? Visit Times Square? Go shopping? Stroll round Central Park?
Mitch and I went to New York in 2015. “Mel, what did you and Mitch do when you arrived in New York?” I hear you cry.
We ate.
Then got on a train to Hoboken in New Jersey. For one reason and one reason only. Not to visit the United Synagogue of Hoboken. Nor to visit the Hoboken Historical Museum. But to visit one of my dream places. Somewhere to tick off my bucket list.
For those of you who have watched Cake Boss will understand why. Or simply if you have an appreciation for delicious baked goods. Travelling all that way meant that it was only right to sample a selection of sweet treats; Cupcakes. Cookies. Brownies. Cannoli’s. Carlo’s famous lobster tails (not actual lobster). There is a Carlo’s Bakery on Times Square which would have been easier, quicker and arguably a much more sensible option. But of course I had to visit the original bakery. We did also pay the Times Square bakery a visit (Read: several visits).
I would be lying if I said this one wasn’t of the main reasons I wanted to go to New York…
I am a massive foodie. I love food. Luckily Mitch loves food just as much as I do — a recipe for a happy relationship!
Image: Blake Ezra from Lauren and Mark’s Jewish Wedding (Catering by Food Story)
A Key Part of our Big Day
You may now appreciate why we feel the food is one of the most important things for us at our wedding. I’ve always thought after a wedding everyone remembers the food and music — more so if one (or G-d forbid both) was awful.
We recently went for our food tasting which was one of the things I was most excited about. Our parents came with us so we could have a second (third, fourth and fifth) opinion.
I thought the whole process would be really straightforward. Being the supportive network they are, our parents said we should select the dishes we want to try and we can then all make a decision together on what dishes we want at the wedding.
Image: Blake Ezra from Lauren and Mark’s Jewish Wedding (Catering by Food Story)
Non-offensive catering
We don’t keep kosher. Most of our friends and family don’t either, but there are a small handful that do. This was our justification for opting for a ‘non-offensive’ meal catered by the venue, and buying in specific meals for our glatt kosher guests — only about 10 of our guests require this so it made financial sense for us, rather than having a kosher meal for everyone.
I like to be organised so I sent our tasting choices to the venue well in advance so as not to be in a panic. I could now sit back and look forward to the tasting evening.
The week of the deadline to send our tasting choices to the venue, I decided it would be a great idea to let our parents know what we had chosen. Oh silly Mel!
The starter was the contentious issue…
“Oh goat’s cheese is a little risky. A lot of people don’t like it.”
“Beetroot is nice but people might spill it down themselves and stain their clothes.”
“Sounds great. But I definitely don’t want horrible cheeses! We need to change the starter options.”
Cue panic from me, having to contact our wedding coordinator and asking what other options they could offer. After already requesting other options for dishes on two separate occasions, and saying we wouldn’t need to ask again. Luckily she was completely understanding and immediately contacted the chef.
Image by Ria Mishaal from Miranda and Gabriel’s Jewish Wedding (Catering by Food Story)
You’re the customer
At the time I kicked myself for telling our parents what options we went with. In hindsight, I’m so glad I did. Otherwise we would have had some very unhappy (and hungry) parents at the food tasting.
After finally sorting out the tasting menu, Mitch and I along with our parents went to the venue on a very wet Tuesday night. We were all excited to try everything and enjoy a nice evening together with lots of food, wine and champagne.
I went into major geek mode (absolutely not a bridezilla!) and printed out a scorecard for everyone so they could comment on each dish and rank their order of preference. That way there could be no arguments. It actually worked out very well, to the point where everyone (mainly Mitch’s mum) was having great fun playing food critic.
Sadly, our initial excitement soon dwindled when were a little underwhelmed with the main course. Despite having 4 dishes to try, there wasn’t one that we all loved. Hating confrontation and fear of offending, I was really nervous about saying anything. But everyone rightly said that we should let them know we weren’t happy, especially when the food is one of the most important elements for us. Our wedding coordinator was great. She even brought out the chef so we could tell him our thoughts.
We discussed some new ideas with the chef and we were invited back for a second tasting for the main course. The second tasting was brilliant and we have now chosen a main course that we love, along with the starter and dessert. *And relax*
Despite my initial concern about confrontation, it was soon sorted and made me remember that as a paying customer we have the right to get something we are happy with. It’s important to remember that suppliers work for you. They are there to provide a service you’re happy with. So don’t be afraid to say when you want something changed or if you’re not happy about something.
Image by Ria Mishaal from Miranda and Gabriel’s Jewish Wedding (Catering by Food Story)
In Hindsight
‘It will all work out in the end.’ That’s my new mantra about everything wedding related!
All of the to-ing and fro-ing deciding on what dishes to try made me start to wonder. Should we make choices about our wedding to please ourselves or keep our guests happy and make sure they have a great day? I keep telling myself to remember that the purpose of all of this is for Mitch and I to get married. Everything else is a bonus. But at the same time, I want our guests to have an amazing day too. That’s fair right? So if they hated the food, would they leave with a negative view of the day?
It’s something I have been battling with pretty much the whole time. What will our guests think of this? Will our guests like that?
A happy medium
What I’ve come to realise is that we are never going to please everyone. And that doesn’t just go for the food. Some people may not like the music the band play. Some may think the location is a little out the way. Some may not like the wine. Ultimately, we have to draw a line and make the best possible decisions. There may be compromise along the way but we will end up with the wedding we want and hopefully have a couple of hundred happy friends and family too.
You might be thinking I’m slightly contradicting myself, after being adamant in a previous post about it being our wedding so we should do things our way. I still firmly believe that. Compromise doesn’t mean we won’t have the wedding we want. So we won’t be having a goat’s cheese starter. But that doesn’t mean we won’t have a meal that we love. And, hey, I can eat all the goat’s cheese I like on our honeymoon.
Image: Blake Ezra from Lauren and Mark’s Jewish Wedding (Catering by Food Story)
Click here to read all Mel’s planning posts to date.
Mel & Mitch’s Wedding Vendors booked so far:
Videographer — Denee Motion
Band – XS Showband
Photographer — Chiko Photography
Flowers — Alexandra’s Florist
Table decorations – Wedding Venue Decorators
Venue — Warren Weir