An International Interfaith Jewish Wedding Focused on Friends and Family at South Farm, Royston, UK

How We Met

Kelsey, the bride: We both arrived in Cambridge in 2019 to study at the University of Cambridge. Kelsey came from Boston, Massachusetts to do a PhD researching the role of play in children’s healthcare, and Owen came from Sydney, Australia to do an MMus in Music and sing with the Choir of King’s College. We were both members of Hughes Hall and met on our very first night in Cambridge the college hosted welcome drinks at the bar. We got to talking that evening and quickly became close friends during those first few whirlwind months of settling in.

Then, abruptly, the pandemic. As international students, we both made the difficult decision to stay in Cambridge amidst the uncertainty of those early months of 2020. As some of only a handful of people still in our college, we spent an inordinate amount of time together going for long walks, cooking together, online pub quizzes, meeting each other’s family and friends via video calls – we had basically started dating before we were actually dating. Friends and family, both near and far, were constantly asking us what was going on between us… it took nearly nine months of friendship for us to realize it too!

Venue

We got married at South Farm in Royston. Choosing a location for the wedding was a very big decision because our families and many of our guests were travelling from the United States and Australia, where our respective family homes are. Eventually we decided to invite everyone to the little part of England that had become our home over the past six years, as neutral territory of sorts.

We were looking for a venue in Cambridgeshire that felt authentic to this part of the UK, as well as a place that felt welcoming and would be flexible enough for us to put our own stamp on the day. South Farm, a beautiful working farm in the countryside, ticked all those boxes. Aside from the rustic beauty of the indoor and outdoor spaces at the venue, something we really liked was that they grow much of the produce used in their catering on site. We also immediately found the entire South Farm team to be consistently kind, welcoming, and supportive throughout the planning process. We felt completely looked after from start to finish.

Theme

South Farm provide a day-of coordinator for all couples (ours was excellent!) as well as their broader team of planning, administrative, and catering staff who worked with us throughout the process. Having that support allowed us to focus on the details that made the day feel personal.

We really wanted the wedding to reflect our homes and the different places and influences that have shaped us: Kelsey baked the challah for the hamotzi; we served Australian wine from the Hunter Valley near Owen’s family home for the kiddush; the bar served cranberry cocktails inspired by Kelsey’s family home on Cape Cod; and one of the late-night snacks were mini Australian meat pies. To bring in our current home in Cambridge, we fulfilled Owen’s dream of having a multi-tiered cheese-cake, made of wheels of cheese from a brilliant local supplier – The Cambridge Cheese Company. These little touches helped to create the ‘theme’ of the wedding: celebrating the many places we call home.

Dress

My dress was from a London designer. I first saw it online and assumed it was a pipe dream, so I spent time trying to find something similar elsewhere, but nothing quite compared.

Eventually I decided to travel to London to try it on, and knew instantly that it was the dress for me. It made me feel elegant but relaxed, and I thought it was perfect for an autumn wedding. I couldn’t imagine wearing anything else.

Ceremony & Chuppah

Before the ceremony began, we held a small ketubah signing ceremony with our families, wedding party, and our close friends who were participating in the ceremony. This aspect of the day was borrowed from Kelsey’s sister’s wedding, and so her sister and brother-in-law led us all in this beautiful pre-ceremony. After the ketubah was described and signed, each person in this special group came up to us one by one to quietly share their well wishes and pour a small amount of wine into a carafe. That wine, then filled with the love and blessings of the people closest to us, became the wine we drank together during the ceremony. It was an incredibly moving way to begin the wedding day, surrounded by some of the most special family and friends in our lives.

One of our closest friends served as our celebrant, creating a ceremony that was beautiful, funny, and so personal to us. We had asked several friends and family members to be part of the ceremony through the seven blessings, where they each offered their own, personalized version of a blessing around the topics of a loving home, spirit and humour, art and creativity, wisdom, health, community, and love. The music was also very special during the ceremony: Owen composed the piece of music that Kelsey walked down the aisle to, which was played by dear friends, and friends from choirs in Australia and the UK performed two beautiful pieces of music as part of the blessing for art and creativity.

Owen constructed our chuppah(!), adding an extra layer of symbolism to the home that we have built together in the UK. For the canopy, we used the same fabric from Kelsey’s sister’s wedding along with Kelsey’s grandfather’s prayer shawl, so we felt our family with us.

Ketubah

We chose the language for our ketubah together, deciding on wording that was reflective of the promises we wanted to make to one another. We wanted the ketubah to be demonstrative of the partnership and equality between us. We took inspiration from other interfaith couples who had talked to Smashing the Glass as well!

We then worked with a local Cambridge artist, Richard Briggs, to create a custom design. He illustrated the spot along the River Cam where Owen proposed, and that scene sits just beneath the vows written in the ketubah.

Our music choice

Aside from our amazing friends and family who played and sang music throughout our ceremony, we hired an excellent band The Django Rags who played during our cocktail hour, and we also hired DJ Isabelle De Polla, who did the music for our party. Ahead of the wedding we sent Isabelle playlists and song suggestions so she could understand the kind of atmosphere we wanted for the dance floor, and she absolutely made it happen. There was a great energy all night – she also took a few song requests from family and friends that instantly brought people onto the dance floor.

Flowers

A close friend actually created all the floral arrangements for our wedding. She has a beautifully relaxed, whimsical style that we loved, and felt like such a perfect fit for the venue and our wedding day. She guided us through the local, seasonal flowers available in early autumn, and she also incorporated blooms that subtly echoed Australian native flowers for the groom and groomsmen’s buttonholes. The arrangements for the chuppah, tables, and bouquets added such natural beauty and colour without ever overwhelming the venue itself.

Photographer and videographer

We worked with photographer Lee Allison, one of South Farm’s recommended vendors. From our first video call we felt comfortable with him – he had a calm, friendly presence that made us feel like we would really be at ease on this big day.

He blended seamlessly into the celebration and captured so many natural, joyful moments. The photos truly reflect the atmosphere of the day and the people who made it so special.

Advice to couples currently planning their wedding

We believe that the thing that made our wedding day feel so seamless and truly enjoyable was the trust and support we had with the South Farm team. Our coordinator and the entire staff were consistently warm, reassuring, and incredibly organised. They made us feel completely supported throughout the process, and it was clear that they made our guests feel comfortable and welcome too – we couldn’t have asked for more.

Our advice to other couples would be to choose a venue or coordinator that you can trust and get along with, and who are clear about working with you to make the day, location, and atmosphere special to you both as a couple. Having that confidence allowed us to relax and be fully present on the day. Even though South Farm host weddings almost every day of the year, they made us feel like ours was the only wedding they had to pay attention to.

KELSEY & OWEN’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK

Photography – Lee Allison
Venue – South Farm 
Ketubah – Richard Briggs
DJ – The Django Rags and DJ Isabelle De Polla
Cheese-cake – The Cambridge Cheese Company

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