It’s a familiar story: Hailey, an attorney at a technology company, and Jeffrey, a management consultant, had planned a Labor Day weekend Jewish wedding at a historic Santa Barbara club, with a weekend’s worth of plans for their 150 guests flying in from all over the world.
That was pre-COVID. Once the pandemic hit, the couple made the decision to go forward with a 12-guest micro wedding on their original date, which the bride’s aunt and uncle generously hosted in their backyard. We’re obsessed with Hailey and Jeffrey’s cool copper chuppah adorned with greenery and white and pink blossoms – not to mention their beautifulblue and white paper cut ketubah was purchased from Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Ketubah.com. Don’t miss Wedding Nature Photography’s gorgeous pics!
We also love the favors the pair put together for their guests, each containing a mask hand-sewn by the mother of the bride, a kippah, and a personalized embroidered handkerchief, plus a “Jeffrey and Hailey” granola blend.
And how sweet is it that the mother of the groom secretly reached out to the original guest list and asked them to submit a video with stories and well wishes?! She kept it all under wraps until the night before the wedding, when she surprised Hailey and Jeffrey with an incredibly touching video. Awwwww!
There’s so much more to say about this beautiful day, but we’ll leave the rest to Hailey, who looked stunning in her Pronovias dress (which she’d bough for the big bash, but happened to work perfectly for this intimate celebration)…
How we met
Hailey, the bride: We were matched on a dating app called Coffee Meets Bagel. After we met in person, we realized that we had one mutual friend in common: a Jewish matchmaker!
From Private Club to Backyard
We had originally planned to have our ceremony and reception on the grounds of a private and historic club in Santa Barbara, California over the Labor Day Weekend. We invited 150 guests and planned an entire weekend’s worth of events for our guests who would be traveling from around the world to join us on our special day. I had arranged all our vendors and many of our wedding details by the time COVID-19 hit in early 2020.
With so much uncertainty about when it would be safe to host a large event, we decided to have a micro wedding on our original date and throw a big party with our guests some day in the future. My aunt and uncle graciously offered their home and backyard as a wedding venue so that we could get married under oak trees and celebrate with social distance surrounded by our immediate family.
We planned to livestream the ceremony and have guests join us for a Zoom toast at the end of the evening. Santa Barbara experienced a heatwave on the day of our wedding, which led to technical difficulties that prevented the livestream from working. While we were disappointed that our guests couldn’t view the ceremony live, we felt completely surrounded with their love from afar and were so glad to celebrate with them over Zoom! We are so grateful for the technology that makes our loved ones feel just a little bit closer.
We took many safety precautions for our micro wedding: we held the event outdoors, our 12 guests were seated far apart, vendors and guests all wore masks, and we provided lots of hand sanitizer. Our hope for the micro wedding was that it would still feel like the magical day we had planned, even with a small guest count and a much shorter reception. I wore my original wedding dress and we had our first look in my parent’s backyard, then took formal photos on the luscious grounds of the Santa Barbara County Courthouse.
Our backyard ceremony was very similar to the original one we had planned, with some small changes to account for social distancing. During the short reception we had a grand entrance and first dance, our parents both gave toasts, and we all enjoyed cake and cupcakes before ending the night with a sparkler send off. Thanks to family, friends, and DIY tutorials on YouTube, we had the magical micro wedding of our dreams!
Santa Barbara Vibes
Our wedding style was romantic, laid back, and emphasized the natural beauty of Santa Barbara. We were able to use many of our original decor items with our backyard setting which saved on some costs and planning time. The ceremony was in an open area surrounded by oak trees and we created an aisle using wooden lanterns with candles leading up to our chuppah. Our reception was next to a pool under twinkle lights and our tables were decorated with simple lanterns and candle centerpieces my mother and I put together.
Invitations
We sent out Save the Dates well in advance of our wedding so that our guests could make travel arrangements. Once we decided to have a micro wedding, we sent out invitations to our virtual ceremony and provided additional updates on our wedding website and over email. We also sent guests a handkerchief that said “Happy Tears” with our wedding date and a custom kippah.
Hair + Make-up
I decided to do my own hair and makeup to keep things light. I watched makeup tutorial videos and used my favorite curling iron for a casual hairstyle. I was grateful my makeup didn’t melt off in the high temperatures!
A Pronovias Dress
I visited a few different shops before I found my dress. I tried on a variety of dress shapes and styles before I learned that I wanted an A-line and romantic dress. This led me to my Elara by Pronovias dress. The delicate vine design on the lace and blush undertones of the skirt matched my style and our overall wedding vibe. I had already purchased my dress by the time we had to reimagine our wedding and I knew that I still wanted to wear it, especially since it still felt appropriate for our new venue.
Accessories and Shoes
I wore a pair of crystal floral earrings by Dareth Colburn Designs from Etsy and silver wedge sandals that I already owned. I carried my lipstick in a vintage beaded clutch for touch ups.
The handsome groom
Jeffrey, the groom: When I moved from the United States to London for a few years, my British colleagues taught me how to appreciate a good suit. I had originally planned to wear a tuxedo for our larger wedding but for our micro wedding I opted for a navy suit, white shirt, and cufflinks. I happened to pick up this outfit at my favorite shop Reiss during our most recent visit to London. One of my groomsmen taught me how to tie my bow tie over video. My flamingo socks paid homage to Hailey’s love of whimsy and all things pink.
Bridesmaids
My bridesmaids did a wonderful job making me feel loved. They hosted a virtual bachelorette party and sent me an amazing gift basket themed like Austin, Texas, where we had originally planned my bachelorette party. While my bridesmaids couldn’t attend the wedding in person, they still wore their grey chiffon bridesmaid dresses for the Zoom toast during our reception!
Ceremony
Having a traditional Jewish wedding was important to both of us and we also wanted to update some of the traditions to reflect our relationship. For the hakafot, we each circled each other three times, then circled once together as a couple. My family’s rabbi officiated the ceremony and seamlessly weaved together our love story with the Jewish wedding customs.
The kiddush cup we drank from belonged to Jeffrey’s great-great-grandfather, and the glass Jeffrey smashed at the end of the ceremony fits into a mezuzah that we will place outside of our home. After the ceremony, we spent a few minutes alone together on a scenic deck to soak it all in.
Ketubah
Our ketubah was purchased from Ketubah.com and two family friends signed it as witnesses. My sister-in-law and her husband signed our marriage license.
Chuppah
We rented a copper chuppah from a local event planner and our florist created a stunning arrangement with greenery and a variety of white and pink blossoms that matched my bouquet. Jeffrey’s father’s tallit created the perfect canopy.
Music Choice
DJ Darla Bea provided emcee services and music throughout the evening and made it feel like a true wedding. Jeffrey’s parents escorted him down the aisle to an acoustic cover of The Beatles ‘Here Comes the Sun’, followed by our adorable nieces as flower girls. I walked down the aisle with my parents to a piano and violin duet of Canon in D.
After we kissed under the chuppah, we danced through our processional to Hall & Oates ‘You Make My Dreams (Come True)’. One extra special moment was when Darla Bea played my parent’s wedding song and dedicated it to them during the reception.
Flowers
Jen with The Twisted Twig did a phenomenal job bringing my floral vision to life. My bouquet contained a lovely combination of subtle greenery, unique white blossoms, and bright bursts of pink, including eucalyptus, garden roses, anemones, and ranunculus. Our chuppah was filled with similar colors and textures and served as the perfect backdrop for our ceremony and family photos. Our flower girls carried homemade flower baskets filled with white rose petals.
Photographer
Taran with Wedding Nature Photography captured every wonderful moment throughout the day. He blended in so well that we hardly remember seeing him! Since most of our guests could not be there in person, we love that we can share such special photos that truly capture the joy we felt that day.
Food and Cake
To keep our event short and sweet, everyone ate dinner beforehand. We gave our guests individually packaged cupcakes and mini bottles of prosecco to enjoy during the short reception. My mother baked a three-layered ceremonial chocolate cake using my grandmother’s recipe and decorated it with a cake topper from my sister’s wedding. Jeffrey and I saved a few slices in the freezer to enjoy in the future. My parents still have a piece of their wedding cake in the freezer, 41 years after their wedding!
Favors
Guests received practical favor bags containing masks my mother sewed, as well as a kippah and a handkerchief we had embroidered for each guest with their name. We also gave family members a special edition “Jeffrey and Hailey” granola blend that we made using my mother’s famous granola recipe.
Special Video messages
My mother-in-law secretly reached out to our original wedding guests and asked them to submit a video with stories and well wishes for our wedding day and beyond. She worked with a video company to put together an incredibly touching tribute video, which she surprised us with the evening before our wedding.
Jeffrey and I laughed and cried as we watched the video. Seeing all of our guests’ faces truly made us feel like they were right there with us. We carried those feelings of love and support with us under the chuppah and will carry them into our marriage as well.
Honeymoon
As fans of wine, croissants, and scenic views, we originally planned our honeymoon to explore Paris and visit Southern France. Instead, we took a short trip to a beach town in Southern California where we drank champagne and reminisced about our magical day. I know that we will make it to France one day!
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
Allow yourself time to feel disappointed if your wedding plans have to change. It’s helpful to remember that you get to marry your life partner – the rest is just a bonus!
Find ways to incorporate the people and special elements that matter to you. My sister and brother-in-law live in Italy and could not travel to the United States for the micro wedding, so we made sure to call them on Facetime throughout the wedding weekend, and my sister got to watch our first look in my parent’s backyard on Facetime.
Get creative and stay organized. When we reimagined our wedding, I created many Google docs to keep track of all the moving pieces, including refunds from vendors, updates to the budget, and an updated timeline that I shared with family members who helped set up the event. I looked at all the planning we had done so far and got creative in terms of what we could reuse so that we could focus on the main elements of our micro wedding.
What ‘Smashing The Glass’ Did For Us
Smashing The Glass was a great resource for up-to-date information about what real couples were doing during the pandemic, including all the special little details to help guests feel included when they were living far away.
Hailey & Jeffrey’s little white book
Photography – Wedding Nature Photography
Ketubah – Ketubah.com {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Venue – Private Home in Santa Barbara, California
Bride’s dress – Pronovias
Bride’s accessories – Etsy – Dareth Colburn Designs
Groom’s attire – Reiss
Flowers – The Twisted Twig
DJ – DJ Darla Bea
Stationery/Invitation – Minted
If you’re a Jewish or Jew-ish bride-to-be, you’ll want to join Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club. Guided by the world’s number 1 Jewish wedding expert, Karen Cinnamon, Brides Club is the private community for Jewish and Jew-ish brides that removes wedstress and indecision and gives you what you need to plan with confidence during these uncertain times. Join our Brides Club here.
