There’s not much we love more than seeing a couple fuse two diverse backgrounds into one beautiful Jewish wedding. Add some jawdroppingly gorgeous scenery into the mix, and we’re more than sold. So needless to say, we fell head over heels when we first set eyes on Soreliz and Rob’s rustic wedding in the beautiful California redwoods, full of intention and symbolism reflecting the couple’s values, cultures, tradition, beliefs.
Rob comes from an Ashkenazi background, while Soreliz’s is a mix of Sephardic and Catholic, and all these traditions – plus some Buddhist and indigenous practices – came together to make one very special day. The ceremony was mostly in accordance with Jewish tradition, but Soreliz and Rob put their own spin on many aspects of the day. For instance, they chose to have a two-way badeken, where Rob placed a crown on Soreliz’s head and in return Soreliz placed a kippah on Rob’s.
Soreliz and Rob also picked a fabulous ketubah with tons of personal meaning to who they are as a couple, designed by Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Nava Shoham. The duo opted for her rainbow tree design, both for its vibrant colors and for the special meaning trees have for them, and they couldn’t be more thrilled with the finished product – or with Nava’s professionalism and creativity throughout the process!
Do have a scroll through Manuel Ortega’s wonderful photos of this unique Jewish wedding – and read on for more of the story in the bride’s own words!
How We Met
Soreliz, the bride: We are retired psychotherapists. Our journey began in mid-December of 2018 when Rob, seeking to network with fellow psychotherapists to grow his private therapy practice, decided to post an email on a therapy listserv that Soreliz saw. When Soreliz read Rob’s post, she felt curious and intrigued by what Rob had written, especially his connection to nature, his interest in nature-based therapy, and his Buddhist meditation practice. Upon seeing his photo in his email signature, she felt an urge and intuition that she should connect with him, even though she thought, “he could be gay or married, but one never knows.” There was something in his eyes and his smile that intrigued her.
Boy, was she glad she followed her intuition. When Rob received Soreliz’s email, he felt glad to receive it and was thinking of the proposed meeting strictly as a networking meeting, which ostensibly, it was. Curious to know a little more about this woman he was about to meet, Rob did a little background research on Psychology Today and found Soreliz’s professional profile to be both unique and intriguing, and her photo more than attractive, which never hurts in a networking meeting. Wink, wink.
Rob and Soreliz met at Cole Coffee in Rockridge, Berkeley, CA, for a networking conversation to learn more about each other’s work. After about an hour of professional banter, both Rob and Soreliz were curious to find out more about each other, and so the conversation became more personal. Soreliz felt that Rob was very grounded, found his travel stories fascinating, and noticed a sense of calmness about him. During the conversation, Soreliz was glad to discover that Rob was single. And she realized there were lots of common interests between them—spiritual practice, love of nature, psychotherapy, and a passion for travel and adventure. Moreover, there was a flow and ease to their conversation, and she noticed an undeniable attraction to him. Soreliz also loved Rob’s abalone necklace that he frequently wears. The fact that he wore it spoke to his connection to nature and resonated with Soreliz’s love of all things related to the ocean, as the double water sign that she is.
Rob found himself impressed by Soreliz’s courage in leaving her stable job of 14 years at Oakland Children’s Hospital as a community-based, mental health social worker and setting off on her own path, taking the risk to open her own private psychotherapy practice. Rob found Soreliz to be down-to-earth, very present in herself, open, and a good listener. Rob appreciated that Soreliz wanted to talk on a more personal level to get to know him more. He also noticed the beautiful light blue floral-patterned tunic that she was wearing and the contrast it made with her beautiful light brown skin. Her direct gaze captivated him. As the conversation organically transitioned from professional to personal topics, Rob became increasingly interested in finding out more about this attractive young woman who bought him hot chocolate, always a good move with Rob.
This “networking meeting,” turned into a four and a half hour flowing interaction, but it did not feel like a long time because both were so absorbed in the conversation. After the meeting ended because Soreliz had to go feed her son, it started to rain, so Soreliz asked Rob if he needed an umbrella. Rob said, “No, it’s not raining that hard, I’ll be okay.” (Rob can be a little bit shy when he first meets someone.) As they were about to part ways, Soreliz told Rob that she would like to see him again. Rob seemed caught off guard by Soreliz’s directness, and was also trying to keep a professional demeanor, so he did not directly respond at that moment. However, Rob liked the idea of walking under the umbrella together to his car and quickly changed his mind. 45 minutes after parting ways, Rob sent a follow-up email to Soreliz with some information about a photographer they had discussed during the meeting, saying he “so enjoyed their conversation,” and “looking forward to seeing you again soon.” (Hint hint). And the rest is history.
A Wedding in the Redwoods
We got married at the Waterfall Lodge, in Ben Lomond, CA. We picked this venue because of the beautiful setting in the redwoods, including a waterfall. We both love nature, trees, waterfalls, and this venue was the best fit of all the places we looked. Rob fell in love with the venue immediately.
I actually was not able to see it until much later, due to my pet passing the day Rob had the tour. But he took photos and videos, and I eventually visited it and fell in love with it too. They also had some great discounts for weekday and small size weddings. There are beautiful rustic cabins on the property, and most of our guests stayed here.
Inspired by Nature
We did not have a particular theme or color scheme, but our colors included reds, pinks, oranges, purples, mauves, and whites. I guess you can say it was somewhat rustic and nature/mountain themed, since it was in the woods and mostly outdoors. We planned our entire wedding ourselves and only used a day-of coordinator, whose services I would not particularly recommend.
But it is very helpful to have, at a minimum, a day-of coordinator to help coordinate all the details and make sure your wedding goes as planned, everything stays on schedule and runs as smoothly as possible, and you’re not worried about absolutely anything. Some venues will require a day-of coordinator; ours did.
Invitation
We chose a mountain/forest design template from PenelopesPaperPantry, on Etsy. Our invitations turned our beautifully, and they also did amazing job with our wedding programs.
Hair + Makeup
I decided to go with something simple, waves, and my hair parted in the middle. I didn’t want to be worried about my hair getting messed up or keeping a hairdo perfect throughout the wedding. I don’t generally wear makeup, so I wanted something more natural and opted for airbrushing. I found an amazing hair and makeup artist, Megan Brown with Nomadic Stylist. I highly recommend a trial makeup and hair style prior to the wedding, so you know what you want/don’t want and your stylist’s abilities.
Dress
I do not believe in spending thousands of dollars on a dress you will never wear again! So, no designer dress for me. I searched online for “red wedding dresses,” as I knew I did not want to wear a white dress, but red instead, one of my favorite colors. It did not take me long to find my dress on JJ’s House. What I loved about dress is that it had a long white lace tail, white embroidered cups, and the rest was red.
Accessories + Shoes
I wore a crown that my friend made with baby’s breath flowers. The crown was pruchased at Etsy. I have plantar fasciitis, so I needed to wear comfortable shoes; I opted for these very cute and comfortable sneakers from Keds.
Ceremony & Chuppah
The Kallah and Tisch culminated in the Bedeken (veiling ceremony). Rob and I had not seen each other since the day before. My Shomeret (kind of like a maid of honor), guided me (with my eyes closed) and all the women to gather near the ceremony site. Rob was guided by his Shomer (best man), and he and the men were drummed down the hill, where they had gathered for the Tisch, to meet me and the women who had formed a circle around me.
Rob had to break the circle, and this symbolized the consummation of our marriage (the sperm meets the egg). We were placed back-to-back and then turned to see other (and Rob sees the dress for the first time). The Bedeken is traditionally a time when the groom veils the bride, having confirmed that it is, in fact, the woman that he proposed to. We chose to Bedeken each other, and instead of using veils, we placed a crown and a kippah on one and other.
We looked at many chuppah designs online, including on Smashing the Glass. We wanted something simple but colorful. The chuppah flowers and installation were done by Willi Wildflower. The chuppah itself we rented from Christina Anderson at TimberSong.
Much thought, intention, love, and energy went into planning our entire wedding, together. We used the Jewish Wedding Now book, by Anita Diamant, as a guide, in addition to receiving guidance from our officiant, but we did not follow every traditional aspect of a Jewish wedding. We setup an altar under the chuppah with photos of both of my maternal grandmothers, and both sets of Rob’s grandparents, all deceased. We wanted to honor them and feel their presence on our wedding day, and they were definitely there in spirit!
Rob is Ashkenazi Jew, and I am Sephardic, which was a recent discovery for me, so we mixed some of the elements of each tradition. Our wedding was mostly Jewish in nature, but there were also elements of Catholicism, Buddhism, and indigenous practices. We did not have a rabbi, but our officiant was Jewish and extremely knowledgeable of Jewish tradition and ceremonies.
After walking down the aisle, to the Ave Maria, my Samoan friend drummed as we performed the Hakafot in front of the chuppah; I circled Rob three times, he circled me three times, and we circled each other once. Our two sets of parents sat under the chuppah. We lit the Havdalah candle and our officiant read a Baal Shem Tov marriage quote. The officiant then conducted a closed-eye grounding meditation, where we honored our ancestors, the land and its spirits, and the suffering of the world, while offering our gratitude for all our blessings.
Other elements of our ceremony included the Schehecheyanu blessing, two kiddish blessings, a modified version of the Sheva Brachot (7 blessings, read by our friends), a Tallit Wrapping blessing, the breaking of the glass, and culminating with dancing the Siman Tov u’Mazal Tov. The Yichud and ketubah signing took place after the ceremony. My favorite part of the ceremony was the exchange of our vows. It was entertainment and very sweet.
We feel our wedding day was unique and special because we planned a wedding full of intention and symbolism, that reflected our values, cultures, tradition, beliefs, and who we are in the world. Prior to our ceremony, the Kabbalat Panim took place: the women attended the Hachnasat Kallah circle, where I, the bride, was celebrated and seated on a throne-like chair, and the men attended the Tisch, where Rob gathered with the “boys,” and they offered words of wisdom.
Another creative element of our wedding was a poem that my father recited during the ceremony. It was a love poem by Pablo Neruda, Sonnet XVI.
Ketubah
We LOVE our Ketubah and look forward to displaying it at our next permanent home. Rob researched many ketubahs online, and we chose Nava Shoham‘s amazing work. We were both impressed with the artistic talent and quality of the work exhibited in the beautiful ketubahs on Nava’s website. We chose the rainbow tree because of its vibrant colors, design, and because trees have a deep and special meaning to us. Our friends and family also loved it.
We did not want to spend thousands on our ketubah, and Nava’s website provided many affordable options. She has many texts to choose from on her website, and we were able to modify parts of our chosen text that resonated with our values and needs. We couldn’t be happier with our ketubah and Nava’s professionalism and creativity.
Our music choice
For our prelude we played ‘What a Wonderful World’ by Luis Armstrong, ‘Till There Was You’ by the Beatles, ‘Give Yourself to Love’ by Kate Wolf, and ‘Ong Namo’ by Snatam Kaur; for the procession my son played, on his classical guitar, a potpourri of songs including ‘Just the Way You Are’ by Bruno Mars, Schubert’s ‘Ave Maria’, ‘Black Bird’ by the Beatles, ‘Canon D’ by Pachelbel, ‘I’m Yours’ by Jason Mraz, and ‘Here Comes the Bride’ by Wagner.
For the procession, I walked down the aisle to the ‘Ave Maria’; this was the only Catholic element in our wedding, as I was raised Catholic. The recessional song was ‘I got You (I feel Good)’ by James Brown. Our first and only dance was ‘At Last’ by Etta James. We also played background music during the cocktail hour and band intermission, which consisted of mostly jazz and funk playlists. For our party, we had a San Francisco Bay Area-based Latin live band, Bululú
Flowers
We did not want to spend a fortune on a florist, so my sister-in-law, who is very creative, knowledgeable, and amazing with flowers, made my bouquet, and she also designed and decorated the tables centers. My bouquet was made of purple and white calla lilies.
The table centers included deep orange, deep pink, and blush spray roses; pink, purple, orange dahlias; orange and yellow protea pin cushions; queen ann’s lace; veronicas in bright pink; purple, mauve chrysanthemums; safari sunset Leucadendron; and seeded eucalyptus was used on the tables.
The same friend who made my crown made red-rose boutonnieres for the groom, groom’s father, bride’s father, bride’s son, groom’s brother-in-law., and groom’s nephew. All flowers were bought at our local flower market in Oakland, CA.
Photographer and videographer
Manuel Ortega is a superb, talented, artistic, and professional caliber wedding photographer who fulfilled all our expectations and more. We spent days searching for our ideal wedding photographer. It was important to us to work with a person of color, and we are so grateful that we found Manuel, a fantastic photographer who is also Latino.
We could not have chosen better. Unlike many other high quality, professional wedding photographers we researched whose prices are astronomical, Manuel’s pricing is reasonable, affordable, flexible, and it allowed us to stay within our budget, which we greatly appreciated. For our engagement photo session, we met Manuel at a beautiful beach in the Carmel area just before sunset. It turned out to be an ideal spot for our engagement photo shoot and we were very happy with how the photos turned out.
Keith from Lynds Photo is the consummate, professional wedding videographer in every way. We loved working with him as our wedding videographer from start to finish. His 30+ years of experience as a wedding videographer shows in how he conducts himself interpersonally as well as behind the camera. On our wedding day, he did an excellent job of capturing the most important elements and special moments of our big day, using two cameras to make sure he got all the necessary coverage that we wanted.
He brought extra sound equipment to make sure that the audio component of our ceremony was fully captured. The final product was a superb full-length video that captured the essence of our wedding day. After viewing the video, we wanted a few edits to be made and Keith promptly made all those edits. We couldn’t have asked for a nicer, more professional, and competent wedding videographer than Keith.
Food and cake
The food was catered by Five Star Catering, in Watsonville, CA. They were amazing, and the food was unbelievable!
We ordered two non-pretentious but delicious cakes and dessert platters from our local bakery Draeger’s, in Los Altos, CA. One was a chocolate cake, the other a strawberries and cream. We wanted to keep it simple and did not want a traditional wedding cake.
Wedding List
We used the Knot for our wedding list. We did not have a wedding registry, as we did not want to acquire any material things, but on the Knot’s website we asked people to either contribute to our travel fund, or donate to one our favorite non-profit organizations.
Honeymoon
We had retired earlier in the year (May 2022) and decided we would have an extended honeymoon for months and years to come, traveling around the US, and the world. We traveled to Utah, Lake Tahoe, Eastern Sierra in California, Maui, and Spain. We mostly stayed with friends and Airbnb. Unfortunately, we had to interrupt our extended honeymoon due to family emergencies, but we hope to resume soon.
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
Keep it as simple as possible. Don’t focus on having “the perfect” wedding, as some things will not go as planned, and most people will not even notice, care, or remember. Focus on enjoying your big day and being present at every moment. Make sure you eat before the wedding!!! Get enough rest the night before. Relax and have fun!
SORELIZ & ROBERT’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK
Photography – Manuel Ortega
Ketubah – Nava Shoham – 1-800-ketubah {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Videography – Lynds Photo
Venue – Waterfall Lodge
Bride’s dress – JJ’s House
Bride’s shoes – Keds
Bride’s accessories – Etsy
Hair + Makeup – Nomadic Stylist
Chuppah Flowers & Installation – Willi Wildflower
Band – Bululú
Catering – Five Star Catering
Cake – Draeger’s
Stationery/Invitation – PenelopesPaperPantry
Smash The Glass Pouch – Smashing The Glass Etsy Shop {or join Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club and get one for free!}
If you’re a Jewish or Jew-ish bride-to-be, you’ll want to join Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club. Guided by the world’s number 1 Jewish wedding expert, Karen Cinnamon, Brides Club is the private community for Jewish and Jew-ish brides that removes wedstress and indecision and gives you what you need to plan with confidence during these uncertain times. Join our Brides Club here.