We love it when a couple makes family the center of their Jewish wedding. And that’s exactly what Melanie and Benjamin did, starting with their choice to hold their intimate celebration at the groom’s childhood home. If we had a backyard like this to get married in, we’re pretty sure it would be our choice too – don’t miss the incredible photos of the outdoor sunset chuppah from Stefanie Kamerman Photography.
Family members near and far pitched in to help make the day a success – Benjamin’s sister Jessica even planned the wedding! – and we love the way the pair brought in British elements to honor the bride’s English background, from the flowers to the marmalade favors to the vintage English blue-and-white China.
Most special of all, though, is that the groom’s father, who was diagnosed with cancer just after Melanie and Benjamin got engaged, successfully completed treatment exactly one month prior to the big day, so the day served as a double celebration.
Now over to the bride, who looked ravishing in Lazaro Bridal (speaking of which, don’t miss her wild dress fitting story!)…
How we met
Melanie, the bride: We met on Tinder. When I first got on the app – the app didn’t work correctly. I entered the age range for men I was interested in as 30 and above – he was 28 at the time. Lucky for Benjamin, the age range I entered didn’t go into effect immediately and his profile popped up for me to swipe on. He was too cute to not swipe right on and it was a match!
I immediately freaked out and messaged Benjamin saying I swiped because I thought he was an absolute doll face but he was too young for me. Luckily Benjamin is very persistent and did not let this get in the way. He proceeded to ask me on lots of different dates which I declined because of our age difference. He decided to change up his strategy and started name dropping different restaurants. He dropped the name of a swanky jazz restaurant I had been dying to try – the rest is history.
Backyard Wedding
We got married at the groom’s childhood home. The ceremony took place in the front yard under a canopy of cafe lights and the reception was out back by the pool. We knew we wanted a small wedding before we picked the venue. As we were perusing venue options, we realized how wrong and out of place a big hotel ballroom would feel for such a small, intimate affair. After a weekend visiting the Ben’s parents for a small party they were hosting, sitting around the kitchen table for an evening cup of decaf coffee, we realized that this house is the perfect place to get married.
British Vibes
I’m British, so although there was no theme, English elements were incorporated in various parts of the wedding. The flowers, the party favors (homemade marmalade), the vintage English blue-and-white China from Something Vintage…etc. Yes, Ben’s sister planned the wedding.
Invitation
We used Shine Wedding Invitations for our invites. They have five main styles to choose from, but they’re meant to be personalized and mixed-and-matched, so we opted for the one wrapped in a beautiful pale gray vellum and enclosed with a muted silver wax stamp. It felt very regal without feeling gaudy or over-the-top.
The font was a young-looking script and we kept the text minimal. We didn’t want the invitations to look too crowded with words. The inside of the envelopes were lined with an abstract, heather silhouette of peonies.
Hair + Makeup
I don’t really wear a lot of makeup anyway, so I didn’t want to wear a lot on my wedding. I wanted to feel like a more polished, enhanced version of myself, which translated into dewy skin, a soft liner on the upper lash line and a few moments of sparkle here and there. Glamsquad came to the house and did my hair and makeup.
A Lazaro Bridal Dress
Dress is Lazaro Bridal from Love Couture Bridal in Potomac, MD. I made a last minute appointment (called Thursday for that Saturday) and casually asked them if they carried the dress. So far it was the one I liked the best from the other shops we’d been to. I got a short email back saying “yes- we have it. we’ll pull it and have it in the dressing room for you”.
The part they left out of the email was that Lazaro, the designer himself, was going to be there for a trunk show on that same day. Pretty big detail I had no idea about. I think she must have assumed I knew and that’s why I was calling asking if they would please squeeze me in.
Fast forward to the day of the appointment – I filled out basic paperwork while I waited to go back (Completely clueless to the fact that I’m about to meet the designer in person. First 20 minutes in the room with Lazaro were hilariously awkward because we couldn’t figure who the heck he was and why he was intently looking over the dress I had put on). Elle, the woman that was assigned to do my fitting came to get me and glancing at my information I filled out for the receptionist on a clip board She said “Cherner- I’ve fitted another Cherner bride before.”
I couldn’t think of any Cherners that had been married recently so assumed she was confused. I smiled and said “oh interesting, wonder who that could have been?”. An hour or so into the fitting (I am now on a total high/state of shock as myself, soon to be aunt, and soon to be grandmother have now figured out who this very well dressed mysterious man is in our room ) Elle starts to help me into the next dress Lazaro has picked out for me to try and says- “Cherners…yea they are in the car business- they had twins.”
My jaw dropped and I stared at her. After a minute of silence my brain catches up to me. I told her “Um, I think you fitted my soon to be mother in law for her wedding dress!! I am marrying one of her twin boys!!!!!” Sure enough that’s what it was. Same woman that fitted Randee in the 80s at a now out of business department store in Washington DC was now fitting me for my dress to marry one of her sons! How she remembered fitting Randee from that long ago – was mind blowing.
The coincidences were way too bizarre to make any of this up. As we were piecing all the coincidental pieces of this puzzle together it was so obvious – this was not just a random last minute dress appointment and this was without a doubt THE dress I was supposed to purchase. I took pictures with Elle and Lazaro and sent them out to our family gushing the story to them- head still reeling. Lazaro did a quick designer sketch of me in my now purchased dress and gave me a huge hug.
That was it – champagne was popped and we all sat back and laughed at how funny the morning had been. Final and best part I think to the whole story is I wasn’t going to go dress shopping. I really didn’t want to do it. My aunt and Jessica encouraged me to go along with it – telling me it was a memory I would want to have. Talk about a memory! I was just planning to order something online second hand to save some money, get it altered, wear it once and never really think about it again because in my head I was like – “it’s just a dress.”
Accessories
Pearl earrings given to me as my engagement gift from the groom’s grandparents, Harvey and Arlene. Harvey told me that when he was serving in the Korean War, he liked to go into the markets sometimes and buy his mom pearls to send home to her. He was the only person that really pressed me about the long engagement Benjamin and I were having. Which I thought was funny in a Jewish family.
On his 86th birthday he asked me – “when are we going to have a wedding?” Sadly he passed away beginning of this summer but he was without a doubt there with us.
I also wore a small gold bracelet that Jessica (groom’s sister) bought me. She and I had been sending little gifts back and forth during the whole wedding planning process/year. I wanted to make sure she knew I thought she was a saint for volunteering to plan our wedding for us from NYC and hoping I was’t being a bridezilla on her.
For our wedding rings Benjamin and I have matching gold bands. I had the Hebrew word for “balance” engraved on the inside for him. He and I are so opposite in personality -that I always felt like we were brought together to balance each other out. My engagement ring was also a band – I don’t wear much jewelry so a band suited my style.
Benjamin didn’t like the idea of it being a plain band though so it has little diamonds all the way around it. I wear my 2 bands together now and it’s perfect! Anything more would be too over the top for me.
Shoes
My shoes (Baby blue Aquazzuras – in 4 inch heel) were purchased for me by Benjamin’s grandmother who lives in Florida. She and I had such a great time shooting text message pictures and links back and forth looking for the perfect shoes! My Aunt Lisa loved this idea and jumped in on the fun!
When we finally found the shoes it turned out we couldn’t get them in the U.S.! Go figure. Luckily, I decided not to give up on them so I dug in and did more research. I found that they had a flagship store in LA. I drove up from San Diego to try similar shoes on in person ensuring my size and then Collin handled the international ordering process for us. Thank you, Collin!
The handsome groom
Brooks Brothers suit in navy.
Bridesmaids
Because the wedding was small (a smidge over 100 people), we didn’t do bridal parties and groomsmen.
Ceremony
We had a very talented violinist perched a few feet away from the chuppah and he really helped set a romantic and intimate mood for the ceremony. We sourced the ketubah through the rabbi, so it was your run-of-the-mill ketubah, but the ceremony was really special. Jewish wedding ceremonies can’t start until after sunset, which, in my opinion, is the perfect time to start a ceremony. The guests were in their seats, looking out into the surrounding lush forest under the most beautiful cafe lights. The whole mood was perfect.
Chuppah
The chuppah was so simple when it first arrived at the house, but after the florist, Westvirjeni, outfitted it with her gorgeous designs, it really looked like a work of art or some sort of supernatural floral installation. It was really a sight to marvel at. The whole design was actually Jennifer Peterson’s (the florist) idea.
Our music choice
We had a violinist during the processional and recessional. Our first dance was Ray Lamontagne ‘You are the best thing’.
Flowers
Jennifer Peterson of Westvirjeni.
Photographer
Deciding on Stefanie Kamerman Photography, was the easiest choice to make. We told her what we were looking for (nothing aggressively posed or stuffy. We wanted everything to look and feel natural) and she totally got it. She sent us her portfolio and, of course, to her Instagram and we knew that we wouldn’t be able to find anyone who could do what she does, so before she slipped away, we booked her.
Her photos are edited the perfect amount, they’re effortless-looking and capture a moment so elegantly. She knows how to bring the color (literally and metaphorically) into a moment, so she was the perfect choice.
Food and cake
We worked with Molly Russ at Ridgewells. She is a true superstar. I’d send her emails at 11pm and she’d respond five minutes later. We had a very seasonally fall menu and served the main course buffet-style. There were also passed hors d’oeuvres during the cocktail hour.
We didn’t want a classic five-tier wedding cake that ends up being thrown away at the end of the night, so we decided to have one small cake (that was delicious—key lime with vanilla icing) and had tiers of cupcakes under it. It was so cute and so delicious!
Entertainment
We wanted to have a band, but we just didn’t have the space because the reception took place in the backyard. We ended up going with DJ Stavros and he was incredible. He had everyone—even the groom’s 87-year-old grandmother—dancing all night.
Favors
We wanted to do favors, but didn’t want anything tacky, so we ended up going with homemade marmalade that Ridgewells made and handed them out in antique-inspired mason jars. They were a hit!
A family affair
Our wedding was really a family affair. We set the date for our wedding in October 2018 sitting around the family dining room table one night after dinner. About 2 weeks later we found out that Benjamin’s father was diagnosed with cancer. We were devastated. After the initial shock had passed, we all turned full force into positive mode sending family emails out telling everyone that Jon was going to be ok because we were all going to fight this together as a family.
The wedding ended up being such a wonderful event/distraction for all of us. We would get updates on Jon’s treatments and then change the subject for a little bit to talk about happy details of wedding planning. It really couldn’t have been more perfect timing these 2 big events to fall into place and overlap. Jon’s treatments were successful and he ended everything exactly one month before our wedding day. We all revelled in the wedding celebrations on October 12th knowing that we were celebrating both our marriage and the wonderful strengthen and fight Jon had given through his cancer treatments.
Family is such a huge part of our lives and this wedding represented that. My aunt and uncle purchased my wedding gown for me. My grandmother bought my shoes. My other grandmother gave me my something old and something new pieces ( a shawl and small handkerchief I kept tucked into my dress) – Benjamin’s mother and father walked him down the aisle and my mother and little sister walked me. They then stood on either side of our chuppah and participated in our 7 blessings.
At the end our grandmothers wrapped our prayer shawl around our shoulders while the rest of the family gathered tightly right behind them. Standing under the chuppa all I could see were Benjamin, his childhood rabbi and our cantor – but I could feel our family standing there with us. The warmth that filled me with I have never felt before. I honestly thought that the reception/big party after the wedding was the thing that we would most remember for years to come- but it ended up being our ceremony hands down.
Having that amazing sense of family love all around us for such an intimate and huge moment in our lives is something I will treasure forever.
Honeymoon
We are going to go to take 2 weeks next year to go to London and then Paris. We liked the idea of separating the wedding and the honeymoon so that way we could enjoy both fully and not rush through both at the same time. Really be able to savor each experience was important.
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
Remember, you’re planning a party. There’s no reason to get that stressed about it! Things will get messed up, but it doesn’t matter. Don’t waste your wedding day stressing about the table linens being a hair too dark when you should be dancing, drinking or smashing cake in your partner’s face! The only memories you should have from your wedding are happy ones. Don’t let the little stuff get to you. If it won’t matter in five years, don’t let it stress you out for more than five minutes.
MELANIE & BENJAMIN’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK
Photography – Stefanie Kamerman Photography
Wedding planner – Jessica C., the groom’s sister
Venue – Private Residence, Bethesda, MD
Bride’s dress – Lazaro Bridal from Love Couture Bridal
Bride’s shoes – Aquazzura
Groom’s attire – Brooks Brothers
Hair + Makeup – Glamsquad
Flowers – Westvirjeni
DJ – DJ Stavros
Caterering – Ridgewells
Stationery/Invitation – Shine Wedding Invitations
Officiant – Washington Hebrew Congregation
Tent / flooring – Loane Brothers
China rentals – Something Vintage
Photo Booth – Hipstr Company
Smash The Glass Pouch – Smashing The Glass Etsy Shop {or join Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club and get one for free!}
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