We love it when a couple focuses their wedding on the things that really matter – which is exactly what today’s couple, Krystal, a chief in the Navy, and Richard, a construction manager, did. Early on, they decided they wanted to craft an intimate, budget-conscious day centered around family and faith, and their joyous San Diego Jewish wedding at The Prado at Balboa Park was exactly that.
Including family was key to the couple every step of the way. Krystal planned the wedding alongside her mother, mother-in-law, sisters, and sister-in-law, and on the day family members did everything from reading the seven blessings to leading the toasts. Including the memories of relatives who had passed away was also top of mind for Krystal and Richard, and, in addition to a memorial table with 4×6 picture frames with photos and names, during the ceremony the couple’s rabbi read out the names of late loved ones.
Family members also signed the couple’s stunning ketubah, which they found via Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Ketubah.com. They chose the Infinite Love Papercut design for its bright colors, and they loved working with Ketubah.com for their quick response times, variety, and ease of changes for text or delivery dates.
Krystal was a member of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club throughout her wedding planning, and we’re so touched to hear that she found the group a big source of support in everything from figuring out how to honor loved ones who have passed on, trimming down a guest list, and whether – and how – to manage a successful hora with a smaller crowd.
This was truly an incredible wedding – don’t miss the joy-filled photos by Bruna of Elegance in Frame Photography to see all the love and happiness of the day!
How we Met
Krystal, the bride: Picture it, San Diego, 2020. It was Richard’s first time out in years and my first time out since returning from a six-month deployment. It was going to be a much needed ladies night since restaurants and bars were finally open again.
As the ladies were looking for an empty table, Richard was holding one down for the fellas who just stepped away. I asked if we could share his table to finish our drinks, he kindly obliged, and the rest is history. I remember he wore a black t-shirt with a hamster in the pocket (proof he didn’t go out that night looking for a girlfriend) and conversation sparked because we’re both Denver Broncos football fans.
He had such a bright and handsome smile that the first time he laughed, I swooned. Classic story of guy meets girl during a pandemic, right? It’s funny because earlier that week I deleted all the dating apps on my phone and told myself I was going to be single for a while. Well, clearly Hashem had other plans for me. We met on a Saturday night, first date was Tuesday, and by Thursday he asked me to be his girlfriend. 10 months later, he proposed!
A Balboa Park Wedding
Our ceremony was at the Casa Del Rey Moro Garden Terrace at The Prado at Balboa Park and our reception was in the Alhambra Room at The Prado. Initially we wanted to get married at a golf course since Richard proposed at Arrowhead Golf Course in Colorado, but we were open to options from his parents backyard to upscale restaurants across the city. We decided on the Prado because the views were beautiful, it was all-inclusive with food, drinks, etc., and best of all, it fit within our budget! Our event coordinator, Rachael Wilkerson, was absolutely wonderful!
As a first time wedding planner, I had a lot of questions and she reassured me that no question was too dumb and no detail too much. She worked with us for all the little changes and last minute requests. The staff juggled two weddings on the same day and you would never know it. They were so attentive and more focused on keeping the timeline for dinner, toasts, cake cutting, etc. than we were!
What ‘Smashing The Glass Brides Club’ Did For Us
I loved seeing fellow brides’ unique ideas for how to honor loved ones, chuppah decorations ideas, traditional hora songs, and how to trim down a wedding guest list. It was really cool to see which brides were getting married on the same day as us and how far along they were in their planning process. It was also nice to compare notes on florists, photographers, and what stressors we shared.
Keeping It Intimate
Early discussions for what we wanted our wedding to look like kept coming back to a small ceremony with our rabbi, immediate family, and us. Anyone else we invited was a bonus. Richard and I reviewed the guest list so many times not knowing how we’d decide which auntie, uncle, or cousin couldn’t be invited. Coming from a large family that was incredibly difficult and by the end of it we took our guest list from 100 back down to 40. The result was exactly what we wanted: an intimate wedding where both families were able to talk and get to know each other.
I’d describe our wedding style as elegant and classic. Our colors were teal and sterling silver so all decorations, cake, etc. fell within that color pattern. My wedding planner wasn’t just one person, it was a combination of my amazing tribe: my mom, mother-in-law, sisters, and sister-in-law. We had regular phone calls and Facetimes discussing colors, flowers, accent pieces, music, timelines, etc.
My sister-in-law and sister, Cassandra and Roxanne, were instrumental in day of wedding coordination. They both are very organized, detail oriented, and have genuine personalities who get along with anyone. Cassie, Roxanne, and I discussed what my vision was, the timeline of events, and they executed it to perfection! I jokingly told them they should start a side job being a wedding day coordinator because the day was flawless and it was all due to their teamwork and attention to detail.
Hair + Makeup
This is another part of our wedding day I decided to not stress over or spend a lot of money on. I did my own makeup and asked my oldest niece to do my hair from a picture on Pinterest. My niece is so talented and made that picture into a reality with no less than 70 bobby pins in my hair. The local makeup artist, Sonia, I was going to use was booked on our wedding day or I probably would’ve booked her.
Dress
My dress was from a local formal and bridal shop called PreVue. We walked in, I told our attendant my budget and vision and she brought me three options to try on. I wanted something elegant, classy, and timeless. I don’t wear very revealing clothing regularly, but especially when I’m going to be in front of a rabbi and my mom, it needed to be super appropriate. When I tried the first dress on and my mom and mother-in-law started tearing up when I walked out, I knew it was the one! We had one more store as a backup in case we didn’t find what I wanted at the first, but we cancelled our appointment and went to and early dinner to celebrate!
Accessories & Shoes
Something borrowed was my sister-in-law, Cassie’s, Chanel pearl earrings. Something blue was a clever and stylish anklet from my mother-in-law that had a blue heart. I decided not to do a “traditional” garter toss early on (which to be honest, I don’t know why it’s still a tradition… it’s weird for your husband to put your hand up your dress in front of Grandma, right?) so instead of a garter, she gifted me the anklet instead. Something old was my mother’s pearl necklace and I don’t think I had something new for the wedding. Shoes were from the clearance rack at David’s Bridal.
Again, low stress on the shoes because I immediately changed into slippers after pictures and first dance!
Bridesmaids
My bridesmaids were my two sisters, Vanessa and Lauren, and sister in law, Cara. I love the design of traditional Indian Sarees so their dresses were teal/light blue sarees ordered from online. It took about one month for delivery and then planned any alterations could be done within two months. I said earlier to not stress the small stuff and the small stuff for me were the bridesmaid details on hair, shoes, jewellery, etc. I let them decide what they wanted to wear, as long as they had the same bouquets and sarees, I was happy. There is entirely too much going on in a wedding to micro-manage those type of details.
Ceremony and Chuppah
We loved that leading up to our ceremony, our rabbi, Rabbi/Cantor Arlene Bernstein, discussed how she likes to do ceremonies and if we had any additions or parts we didn’t want to include. She made sure that our ceremony represented us and our families. I mentioned to her that I would like to honor my father, Isaiah Kelley Jr., in the ceremony somehow and she was happy to oblige. One of my favorite parts of the ceremony was when our rabbi read the names of those who had passed away and were forever in our memories.
It was especially impactful to those in attendance who weren’t expecting to hear their loved ones names and you could visibly see them getting emotional. It was a beautiful moment.
Our second favorite part of the ceremony was the seven blessings. Rabbi Bernstein made it clear that those in attendance were not just there to passively observe a wedding, but actively support our marriage and that started with different family members reading the seven blessings over us. Each family member felt honored to be called up and bless us, truly making our ceremony a family affair to remember.
We wanted a classy and minimal chuppah design with teal and white floral arrangements. Our chuppah tallit was ordered from the Ketubah.com and our tallit we were wrapped in during the ceremony came from our shul’s Judaica store. The chuppah vendors, Enticing Tables, were an amazing local business who were incredibly responsive, efficient, and professional.
Ketubah
I picked out three options for Richard to choose from and he liked the Infinite Love Papercut design the most. We wanted a design that had our colors of teal and silver or at least brighter colors that would pop on our entryway wall and after scouring the inventory, this was the one. I highly recommend Ketubah.com due to their staff’s quick response times, variety in ketubahs and wedding shop items, and ease of changes for text or delivery dates.
We chose the Conservative/Lieberman text with the added “best friend” text that included the following lines because our faith, spiritual wellbeing, and devotion to create our own Jewish home remains essential to us.
“May there be peace in our home may we be blessed with goof fortune, health, and happiness, and may our devotion to the faith of Israel ennoble us. With my beloved by my side, every day is good to awaken to and every moment a gift”. Our ketubah was designed by Nava Shoham.
Our Music Choice
Part of the RSVP for our guests was to write any song requests. We took these requests and sent them to our DJ to use in addition to his selection. Our first dance song, ‘Forever After All’ by Luke Combs. It been our song for about a year so we knew it was perfect for our first dance! Wedding Party Processional: ‘Thank God I Found You’ by Mariah Carey. Bride Entrance: ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’ by Kina Grannis. Recession: ‘At Last’ by Etta James
Flowers
We went the non-traditional and a little controversial route for flowers… we found a vendor on Etsy! There was a debate about real vs. faux and how it’s a real wedding, real love, so there should be real flowers. Let’s take a minute and talk about that. Yes, we have real love, but if we don’t need to spend thousands on flowers, we didn’t want to. Every local florist quoted no less than $3,000 not including delivery fee simply because it was a wedding. Weddings can be expensive and stressful, but they don’t have to be.
So instead of spending an arm and a leg on just one part of the wedding, we went to Etsy to find what we wanted. My favorite flowers are Japanese Lillies and our vendor was able to add the lillies and stay within our color scheme. Touch of Amor Floral created the three bouquets, three boutonnieres, three chuppah arrangement, and 13 table center pieces. Instead of spending thousands, we spent about $700 on flowers that we can use as decorative pieces moving forward.
The only real flowers we had at our wedding was on the memorial table for those who had passed (parents, grandparents, etc.) in our reception entryway with candles. That arrangement was from the florist at a local grocery store and we picked it up the night before the wedding so they were fresh for the next day.
Photographer
We used the wonderful, lively, and beautiful Bruna with Elegance in Frame Photography! She is unbelievable at her craft and we can’t say enough good things about her and her associate Rich. We found her on The Knot website searching for photographers and she was the most responsive and within our budget. We had one phone consultation about dates, times, etc. and the rest was easy. We knew she was the right choice after the first phone call. Bruna reminded us to relax, be in the moment, and she’ll take care of the rest. And, boy did she! She was with us all day (~9 hour day) captured the most intimate and joyous moments of our day and when we looked at the album she created, we both cried as if it was our wedding day all over again. We will be using her in the future!
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
Some of the best advice I got was from close friends, family, and fellow brides in the Smashing the Glass Brides Club group. They said, “don’t forget to eat” and “enjoy the day because it goes by so fast”. The enjoy the day part was so true, because before I knew it the night was winding down and we were off on our honeymoon. The eating part is important too because once you get the day going with mimosas, conversations, makeup, hair, laughs, and music you realize it’s been hours since you’ve eaten anything and won’t get to eat again until the dinner. No one wants a tipsy bride in heels walking down the aisle, ha.
My advice for couples wedding planning is this: have the wedding that YOU want. Ask yourself, what are the essentials for your big day? For us, if we had nothing else but our rabbi, our parents, and went to dinner with family afterwards, that was a win.
Richard is the eldest son and I’m the youngest daughter, so our wedding easily could’ve been a big event with hundreds of people, but we didn’t want that. We didn’t want to spend an obscene amount of money for one day when that money could be put towards buying our first home, honeymoon, or literally anything else. We wanted a classy, intimate, and elegant wedding and that is exactly what we had. Stay true to yourself and don’t stress the small stuff.
Food and Cake
Delicious Treats was a wonder to work with to make our wedding cake vision come to life. I’m allergic to eggs and my mom has a severe tree nut allergy, but she was able to work with those restrictions and make an absolute masterpiece without sacrificing flavor. We had one phone call, a few emails, and she created a delicious cake that everyone wanted second and third servings of. The cake was delivered and set up on time, with no hassle. She was able to incorporate the lillies from the bouquets into the cake which was so beautiful!
Extra details
Our wedding day was significant because it was the next major lifecycle event after my conversion. I’m sure most converts have experienced some level of imposter syndrome, feeling like they weren’t “Jewish enough” at times, but reflecting on the day I never felt more Jewish. Standing under a chuppah with my husband, surrounded by my family, Jewish community, and rabbi, the imposter syndrome just fell away. It’s okay that the ceremonial items we used weren’t passed down from generation to generation because Richard and I get to pass down those items to our children and start those traditions within our family.
The best part of our wedding was how everything was faith and family focused. From the ceremony, to the wedding parties, to the toasts, family and faith were central. I mentioned it earlier, but the seven blessings were read by different members of our family. The witnesses who signed our ketubah were our Best Man and Maid of Honor, my sister Lauren and Richard’s brother, Jonathon. The welcome toast was delivered by my brother, Brandon. We wanted to honor the memory of those who had passed away and who we wish could be there in person, so we designed a memorial table near the entryway with 4×6 picture frames with their pictures and names.
I also didn’t know if we could do a hora with a smaller guest list (we had about 40 people), but when you give my brother Brandon a challenge, he can make anything happen! Before we knew it, Richard and I were on chairs being lifted and everyone clapping and dancing around us. It was such a beautiful (and a little scary) moment that we will never forget! I followed a few questions that were asked in the STG group about which songs to use for a hora or if we should have one with the smaller guest list and they actually gave me the courage to just do it regardless of how big or small our wedding was.
Honeymoon
We went to Portugal! It honestly is the best kept secret of European travel! We started in Lisbon for three days where we explored the city and had an extended day on a guided tour to the surrounding cities. After Lisbon we took the train to Porto where we stayed for three days and went wine tasting in the Douro Valley which was breath-taking! We wrapped up our trip back in Lisbon for the last two days before flying home.
For the travel agent, say it with me: American Express Platinum! Their travel perks like airport lounge access, complementary room upgrades, hotel credit toward meals or spa services, and complimentary breakfasts at each hotel we stayed at made our honeymoon truly a dream. I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight the Intercontinental Hotel in Porto. That hotel was something out of an exclusive European travel magazine, absolutely stunning décor and unmatched customer service and room accommodations. When we go back, we will be staying there again!
KRYSTAL & RICHARD’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK
Photography – Elegance in Frame Photography
Ketubah – Ketubah.com {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Venue – The Prado at Balboa Park
Bride’s dress – PreVue
Bridesmaids – Utsav Fashion
Makeup – Sonia
Flowers – Touch of Amor Floral
DJ – Tony Calhoun aka “DJ Tony”
Cake – Delicious Treats
Rabbi – Rabbi/Cantor Arlene Bernstein
Chuppah – Enticing Tables
Smash The Glass Pouch – Smashing The Glass Etsy Shop {or join Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club and get one for free!}
If you’re a Jewish or Jew-ish bride-to-be, you’ll want to join Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club. Guided by the world’s number 1 Jewish wedding expert, Karen Cinnamon, Brides Club is the private community for Jewish and Jew-ish brides that removes wedstress and indecision and gives you what you need to plan with confidence during these uncertain times. Join our Brides Club here.
