Mazal Tov on your engagement! There’s so much to do before the big day that it’s nice to have it all condensed into one neat checklist. I’ve laid out the biggest tasks that need to be taken care of in chronological order further down the page, but first thing’s first – you need to pick a date!
DATES TO AVOID FOR A JEWISH WEDDING IN 2020, 2021 + 2022
Below you can see all the dates that should be avoided for your Jewish wedding in 2019, 2020 and 2021, according to the Jewish calendar.
Jewish Wedding dates to avoid in 2020
Avoid Purim: March 9th, 2020 (at sunset) to March 10th 2020
Avoid from Passover: (April 8th 2020 [from sunset] to April 16th 2020) to Shavuot: (May 28th 2020 [from sunset] to May 30th 2020). Traditionally, no Jewish weddings take place between Passover and Shavuot except on Lag B’ Omer (that’s the date I chose for my wedding in 2013!) which in 2020 falls on May 11th [from sunset] to May 12th.
Avoid the 3 weeks leading up to and including Tisha B’av: July 8th 2020 (from sunset) to July 30th 2020. Jewish marriages are not allowed during the period of three weeks leading up and including to the Fast of Tisha B’av.
Avoid Rosh Hashana: September 18th (from sunset) to September 20th 2020
Avoid Yom Kippur: September 27th (from sunset) to September 28th 2020
Avoid Succot: October 2nd (from sunset) to October 9th 2020
Avoid Simchat Torah: October 10th (from sunset) to October 11th 2020
Jewish Wedding dates to avoid in 2021
Avoid Purim: 25th February 2021 (from sunset) — 26th February 2021
Avoid from Passover: (27th March 2021 [from sunset] to 4th April 2021) to Shavuot: (16th May 2021 [from sunset] to 18th May 2021). Traditionally, no Jewish weddings take place between Passover and Shavuot except on Lag B’ Omer (that’s the date I chose for my wedding in 2013!) which in 2021 falls on 30th April (from sunset) to 1st May 2021.
Avoid the 3 weeks leading up to and including Tisha B’av: 27th June 2021 (from sunset) to 18th July 2021. Jewish marriages are not allowed during the period of three weeks leading up and including to the Fast of Tisha B’av.
Avoid Rosh Hashana: 6th September (from sunset) to 8th September 2021
Avoid Yom Kippur: 15th September (from sunset) to 16th September 2021
Avoid Succot: 20th September (from sunset) to 27th September 2021
Avoid Simchat Torah: 28th September (from sunset) to 29th September 2021
Jewish Wedding dates to avoid in 2022
Avoid Purim: 16th March (sunset) – 17th March 2022
Avoid from Passover: 15th April (sunset) – 23rd April 2022. Traditionally, no Jewish weddings take place between Passover and Shavuot except on Lag B’ Omer (that’s the date I chose for my wedding in 2013!) which in 2022 falls on 19th May (from sunset) to 20th May 2022
Avoid the 3 weeks leading up to and including Tisha B’av: 17th July (from sunset) to 7th August 2022. Jewish marriages are not allowed during the period of three weeks leading up and including to the Fast of Tisha B’av
Avoid Rosh Hashana: 25th September (from sunset) to 27th September 2022
Avoid Yom Kippur: 4th October (from sunset) to 5th October 2022
Avoid Succot: 9th October (from sunset) to 16th October 2022
Avoid Simchat Torah: 28th October (from sunset) to 29th October 2022
12 Month Wedding Planning Monthly Checklist
So now you are in the know about dates, let’s lay out the biggest tasks that need to be taken care of in chronological order. I’ve used a 12 month timeline as that’s the length of the average UK and USA engagement. It’s just a guide obviously – I myself only had 6 months to plan my wedding and others will have a lot longer.
9-12 months before the wedding
- Create a wedding folder and a Pinterest board and start collating ideas for the style of your wedding that appeals to you.
- Determine your budget and work out how expenses will be divided.
- Reserve a date (see Jewish wedding dates to avoid at the bottom of the post) and send out a save the date. This could be beautifully designed card or e-card and set the tone for your event, or it could be a simple beautifully worded email.
- Start to envision your ceremony. Do you want it to be long and symbolic or short and sweet? Do you want to include all the traditions or just a select few?
- If you have a particular rabbi in mind, book him or her once you’ve decided on a date. If you haven’t got one in mind, find a rabbi or officiant who suits your style and spirit.
- Start a guest list and work out an idea of the number of guests you’ll have as this will generate the most accurate cost estimates.
- Brainstorm ceremony and reception ideas and book a venue.
- Decide on whether you want a wedding planner, and if you do, hire one.
- Research photographers, videographers and entertainment. The really good ones can get booked up early so be sure to commit when you find a supplier you love.
- Ensure that any band or DJ you book plays Jewish wedding music.
- Research caterers and decide if it’s important for you to have a kosher menu or a non-meat ‘Jewish friendly’ ‘inoffensive’ menu.
- Start thinking about your wedding dress and enjoy the experience of shopping and finding your dress!
