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A Traditional Jewish New York Wedding with Some Sex and a Lot of City

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Happy Valentine’s Day, STG gang! We have a very, very special real wedding to share with you today. It’s such a doozy, that we’ve been sitting on it and waiting for the right moment to publish since 2003. How’s that for restraint?

Charlotte and Harry met under rather unusual circumstances and couldn’t have been more different from one another. But, as the old saying goes, opposites attract, and Charlotte soon found that she had met her one true love in Harry.

Bride Charlotte is a hopeless romantic at heart, and so her wedding was, of course, the definition of tradition. Every detail was planned to perfection by wedding planner and very shouty man, Anthony, who brought Charlotte’s vision to life.

Even though we’re not the New York Times (sorry, Charlotte), we’ve done our very best to do this post justice, so we’ll quit while we’re ahead and hand over to Charlotte to tell us all about her big day.

Charlotte-Harry-Sex-and-the-City-Wedding Charlotte-Harry-Jewish-wedding-Sex-and-the-City
How we met

Harry was my divorce lawyer from my first marriage to my ex-husband, Trey who… let’s just say… didn’t last long. Harry and I hit a few stumbles at first: for example, the fact that I wasn’t Jewish and Harry’s profuse sweating. But, in the end, I converted to Judaism and we always keep the the thermostat at 64.4 degrees. Fairytales do exist, people!

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A New York synagogue wedding

We decided on a traditional synagogue wedding in our hometown of New York. As the space was already so spectacular, we just had a simple white, fabric chuppah under the bimah with some elegant arrangements of lilies.

I wanted to do everything according to Jewish tradition. I wanted to smash the glass, sign the Ketubah and dance the Hora, even if it involved getting thrown around on a chair in a most unladylike way.

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Thinking of converting to Judaism? 5 questions to ask yourself before making the decision

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I am delighted to introduce a fabulous second guest post from Michele Schwartz, editor of The Modern Jewish Wedding, a popular website for Jewish/ interfaith couples and wedding planners.

Charlotte Harry Sex and the City
[image: Sex and the City via HBO.com]

“I know that game. I invented that game. So, they’re Rules Rabbis,”
Charlotte York Goldenblatt from Sex and the City.

It’s true.  When considering conversion to Judaism from another religion, whether for a wedding, or just because, rabbis will traditionally turn you away. Rabbis are known to test your commitment by saying “NO!” three times. Then it is up to you…

If you are considering converting for your ‘beshert’ (your meant to be), here are some questions that will be useful to ask yourself and your intended before taking the plunge.:

1. How do I know if Judaism is right for me?

You’ll know! I hate to sound trite–but, you’ll know. If you are pressured to convert or feel as if you must do so just to be married, then you should stop reading now and read my previous post on incorporating Jewish traditions into your interfaith wedding. However, if you are committed to having a Jewish home, raising your children Jewish and are intellectually curious about Judaism–then read on. The best place is to start is with curiosity.

  • Read, read and then read some more.
  • Attend services at several different local synagogues.
  • Take a class. Most congregations offer a weekly text study you can attend. You can also check out your local Jewish Community Centre or even a local university to find classes or lectures that spark your interest.

Kensington Roof Gardens Jewish Weding
[image: Lee Ann & Andre’s London wedding / Gavin Hart Photography]

2. Even if I don’t convert can I work Judaism into our marriage and home?

Absolutely. Most people begin the road to formal conversion after first experiencing life in a Jewish family, home or community. Jewish rituals don’t negate anything you were raised to believe. You can get married under the chuppah, you can participate in congregational services, learning and holiday celebrations, you can attend or host a Passover seder, you can light candles on Shabbat and enjoy a day of rest on Saturday. If nothing else feels right for you–learn a new recipe or two and eat Jewish soul food.
TUSCANY WEDDING
[image: Daphna & Godwin’s Tuscany wedding ]

3. How “Jewish” do I want to be?

There are lots of different flavours of Judaism. But no one is more Jewish than any other (despite what you might hear or think). You should try them all–and decide for yourself what feels right for you. Do you like traditional music and lots of Hebrew in your worship service? Do you want to belong to a community that keeps strictly kosher? Do you feel more comfortable in a setting where there are same-sex couples and no one frowns at ear piercings or tattoos? Judaism is a big tent–you have to find the most comfortable seat for yourself.

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