I’m so excited to share with you my latest Facebook Live with the incredible luxury wedding planner Michelle Jacobs of Elegante by Michelle J. Based in London with a focus on destination weddings and wedding weekends, Michelle is truly one of the best when it comes to working with Jewish and Jew-ish couples to craft standout wedding experiences (and is a favourite among STG brides!), and I was lucky to be able to chat with her at The Wedding Gallery in Central London about ways to make your wedding pop while at the same time keeping everything accessible for guests.
Michelle is just so full of wedding wisdom, and if you’re working to create a one-of-a-kind, ultra-memorable day everyone will enjoy (and honestly, who isn’t?), this Live is 100% worth your time. Starting with the premise that happy guests are what make or break a wedding’s atmosphere, Michelle’s got tips that apply to weddings of any budget and style.
Chloe and Danny‘s Tuscan Jewish wedding, planned by Michelle! Photo by David Bastianoni
Focus on Guest Experience
We started off by chatting about how you can make sure your guests have a fantastic experience at your wedding from start to finish. This starts from the moment you send out those invites: pumping your guests up for your big day is step 1 to creating a killer atmosphere on the day.
How to do it? First off, if you’re getting married somewhere far off or out of the way, make sure they know how to get there and what kind of arrangements you’ve made to help get them home (or back to their hotels) at the end of the night.
Second, if you have guests who may not have attended a Jewish wedding before, make sure to keep things accessible for them. Creating a wedding program outlining and explaining the elements of the ceremony is a wonderful way to do this. It’s also thoughtful to let guests know in advance about anything that might catch them off guard, like if they’ll be asked to wear kipper, or if you’ll be having separate dancing or separate seating for the ceremony.
Another type of guest who might need some special looking after? Anyone attending alone who doesn’t know any of the other guests. One idea is to assign a group of people to take care of your solo guests on the day (and seat them all together); another is to start a Facebook group for your guests in advance of the big day so they can get to know each other a bit beforehand!
Chloe and Danny‘s Tuscan Jewish wedding, planned by Michelle! Photo by David Bastianoni
Take Charge of Your Seating Chart
Seating charts can be one of the most difficult – and contentious – aspects of wedding planning, but they don’t have to be! And Michelle’s got some great tips on how to make sure seating assignments run smoothly.
First off, don’t leave it to the last minute – putting together a good seating chart does take time, and you don’t want to have to rush through it. Think about where people will be comfortable – not just who they’ll be comfortable sitting with, but whether they’re the type who’ll be on and off the dance floor all night, or if they’re more the sort who’d appreciate a quiet corner.
Michelle and I also chatted about seating guests who know each other together vs. mixing it up and placing guests with strangers with whom you suspect they’ll hit it off. While the former is more common, there are pros and cons to both approaches.
Decoding the Dress Code
If you think there’s a chance your dress code may be anything less than crystal clear to your guests, be sure to find a way to concretely express the kind of attire you’re expecting. Your wedding website is a great place for this information to go!
Focus on the Ceremony
Michelle and I both feel strongly that you can’t let your ceremony be an afterthought – it’s the reason everyone is coming in the first place, and should be treated like the main event, both in terms of planning time and the budget you set aside for it.
Michelle helped Emma and Pete plan a Mary Poppins-themed wedding – talk about unique! Photo by Claudine Hartzel
To Theme or Not to Theme?
Michelle firmly believes that a wedding has to be authentic to the couple. The choices you make should mean something to the two of you – and this may lead you to a theme, or it may not. Either way, if you incorporate the things that matter to you into your wedding, people will go away thinking that you had the right wedding for you – and that’s what makes it memorable. Don’t feel pressured to do something random that’s not really you just because you want to make a splash.
Fantastic Favours
Favours can be a great way to leave your guests with a souvenir of your big day – but it’s important to come up with something they’ll want to take with them at the end of the night! Favours don’t need to be expensive, and indeed sometimes the least expensive are the most memorable. At my wedding, I typed a couple of sentences to each guest on the back of a menu, and my guests so appreciated this personal touch! But if you don’t hit on something that really resonates with you, favors are totally not necessary – Michelle says she plans more weddings without them than with.
Michelle’s couple Emma and Pete opted for bottle dancers! Photo by Claudine Hartzel
Entertainment
Michelle is a firm believer that weddings should be entertaining! This means not only devoting sufficient budget to entertainment, but also making sure whatever you choose is enjoyable and inclusive to your guests. One example she loves? Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Balagan, a roaming acoustic band who go from table to table playing their fantastic lineup of Jewish (and other) music!
Speeches
Michelle believes speeches can – and should – be considered as part of your wedding entertainment, too! If you’re thinking that ups the pressure… well, that’s the whole point. Michelle says well-written, well-delivered speeches can be one of the most memorable aspects of a wedding. People talk about them. On the other hand, lackluster speeches can really kill the vibe at your wedding.
If you’re not comfortable writing a speech, Michelle recommends you consider working with a professional – yes, there are people you can pay to write you a killer wedding speech!
Whoever authors your speech, make sure you practice it and time it – no speech should be longer than 7-8 minutes maximum, and the shorter the better. When in doubt, leave them wanting more. Also, don’t try to squeeze too many speeches in!
Chloe and Danny‘s Tuscan Jewish wedding, planned by Michelle! Photo by David Bastianoni
Break the Ice
If you’ve got a mixed crowd with lots of people who don’t know each other, ice breakers can be a lifesaver! And there are plenty of fun ideas that don’t cost any money – put a fun quiz on each table for everyone to do together, introduce your guests to one another when you’re making the rounds.
Coping with Coronavirus
We talked a bit about precautions couples might want to take in light of coronavirus, but given how fast the situation has changed since we recorded this Live, please see our guide to Coronavirus & Your Wedding in 2020.
We finished off with Michelle telling us her absolute favourite part of a Jewish wedding: the chuppah! This was truly a great session, filled with so much wisdom and so many great ideas. Michelle is truly a master, and it’s always a joy to chat with her.
If you missed the live show, you can watch the replay below. Make sure you like the Smashing The Glass Facebook page to be notified of all future shows!
Get In Touch with Michelle
+44 (0)203 930 9459
michelle@elegantebymichellej.com
www.elegantebymichellej.com
Instagram | Facebook
Location: Based in London and traveling throughout Europe
Join our Members Club for Brides and save 10% on Elegante by Michelle J
