The Jewish wedding of Benji, an agent for photographers and directors, and Chris, a creative director and writer, was one for the books. Featuring an outdoor chuppah, soulful music by Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Shir, an “Outdo the Grooms” dress code, and even a drag queen, this was truly an epic celebration.
The chuppah was incredibly moving, and between hearing the couple’s rabbi speak about the significance of performing his first-ever same sex chuppah to the very special Sheva Brachot, all read in English translation by dear friends of the grooms who are also all gay Jewish men, there was hardly a dry eye in the house.
As a photography agent, Benji knew only the best of the best would do when it came to capturing the big day – and he and Chris ended up choosing Smashing The Glass Recommended Vendor Liam Smith for his candid shots and unique eye.
Read on for the full story in the grooms’ own words…
How We Met
Chris and Benji, the grooms: We met on JSwipe! After Chris made the move from Cape Town, South Africa, to London in December 2020, he immediately opened JSwipe once his plane landed at Heathrow. Who was the very first Nice Jewish Boy in his feed that superliked him (You get one superlike free on JSwipe I think a year?)? Benji!
Chris swiped right and they began chatting while Chris waited out his isolation period (Covid romances… *sigh*). Their first date was during lockdown, so they walked around Little Venice in London and (24 000 steps later, according to Chris’ Apple Watch, in the early-January snow) the rest is history.
An Outdoor Venue
With Chris being from South Africa and Benji’s family in London (as well as living in New York), finding a country was hard enough, let alone a venue! In the end, they settled on Shenley Cricket Club just outside of London. It’s a beautiful green space, which meant they could have their chuppah outside in the late summer like they always dreamed.
We also stayed for our accommodation at Sopwell House the night before (NAUGHTY but there are no rules we’re a gay couple who live together hey haha!) and night after and did our pre wedding photos and video content and got ready there with our best people there.
Theme + wedding planner
Benji and Chris didn’t have a theme, per se, but the dress code was ‘Outdo the Grooms’! This opened up the fashion floodgates for their guests to dress to express themselves rather than fitting into a particular box. Some family chose to co-ordinate their outfits with their little ones, and others went all-out with the sequins and flare! Partnering with Alexia Goldstein of LEXEvents helped tie the day together.
Stationery
We made the most fabulous benchers using a vendor we found from a friend who makes gender neutral benchers for weddings and we tailored them ourselves. The website was called The Seder Oneg Shabbos we had them made in America and snuck 90 of them in hand luggage back to the UK. We bought our kippot off kippot.com and the rest of the bits for the wedding we got off Zola and Printed.com
Outfits
Chris and Benji decided to go fully customised for the day. With suits made specifically for them, the grooms chose a complementary verdant green palette and each unique Doc Marten shoes. Special touches like Chris’ family tartan were used for their pocket squares, and Benji chose an unconventional custom bolo tie, while Chris chose a woven neutral cream tie.
We did change our outfits three times well kind of. For dancing we removed our suit jackets and changed our shoes to white trainers with multicoloured flashing soles. Then later on in the evening we changed to a more chill shirt and chinos we had as a backup incase our trousers ripped or we sweat too much.
Rings
We bought our wedding rings from Le Gram. Funny story Benji’s probably the first groom to ever snap his wedding ring in half on the wedding day.
Ceremony & Chuppah
A very special feature of the chuppah was that the English translation of all 7 Sheva Brachot were read by dear friends of the grooms who are also all gay Jewish men. This was particularly meaningful, as they have all grown up Orthodox or with Orthodox traditions, which meant that a truly warm and unique moment was created when they could participate in a religious ceremony as their full selves.
Futhermore, Rabbi Adam Zagoria-Moffet brought tears to everyone’s eyes as he spoke so beautifully about this being his very first same-sex chuppah. The grooms also chose a custom-made chuppah cover that bore stunning hand-stitched jewish imagery, as well as both the grooms’ Hebrew names.
The ketubah design was a simple yet striking design by Leana Tapnack, a very close friend of the grooms.
Our music choice
Coming down the aisle first our rabbi, followed by Benji’s seven nieces and nephews, along with Chris’s best people to the tune of ‘Erev shel Shoshanim’ , followed by Chris who walked with his parents to the tune of Hallelujah, played soulfully by Shir, followed by Benji and his parents, who walked to ‘You Will be Found’ from Dear Evan Hansen.
Throughout the ceromony we had ‘Broken Strings’ by James Morrision and Nelly Futurado turned into a Hebrew good vibes song not the breakup song its known for (We just loved the tune too much to not use it) and finally we were serenaded by Yoav singing the classic beautiful ‘Im Eshkahekh Yerushalayim’.
Shir provided moving vocals, with singer and chazan Yoav Oved and the lead vocalist and guitar player of the band Ivor Goldberg. The most incredible violinist Bar Markovich, Ronen Kozokaro who serenaded the couple under the chuppah for the Hebrew version of sheva brachot. At the party our first dance was ‘Grow as You go’ by Ben Platt.
It’s the first song Benji and Chris really connected over and it felt like the right song for this moment. Finally we ended the night with an hour and half DJ set by the incredible DJ we first heard at BUTTMITZVAH called Jeremy Stubbings.
Flowers
The grooms chose a minimalist approach to decor, opting for greenery like eucalyptus, leaves and even some fragrant rosemary. These artful flourishes were made possible for the chuppah and the dining hall by Flowers by Alina.
Photographer and videographer
For capturing their special day, it was a right in Benji’s wheelhouse, being a photography agent. The grooms chose Liam Smith for his candid shots and unique eye. As a discreet (almost invisible) presence, Liam was there to catch even the small glances, as well as the big moments of pure joy.
For video, the grooms were recommended Hershy Hager. An energetic and creative videographer, Hershy found beautiful moments with the grooms and guests alike.
Food and cake
Our caterer was the fantastic Jonathon Robinson from Jasmine Catering he did a full Israeli luxury bbq feast. It was incredible! We also had Benji’s favourite drinks for the reception no other than Soho House’s finest a Picante, Soho Mule and Eastern Standard’s along with very nice Champagne. What a treat!
Wedding Gifts
We actually decided to post a surrogacy fund instead. This is what we put:
Thanks for clicking on the ‘Give us free stuff’ tab! But, while we appreciate your generosity, we’d like to say a few words.
It goes without saying (but it’s us, so we’re going to say) that no gifts are necessary. But, building the life we dream of, while bedecked with many beautiful things, features 1 main thing: a family. For two men, creating a family comes with a few more challenges than it does for other new couples – and we’re not talking about fighting over china patterns…
To start our family, we would sincerely love to have a baby. Having children comes with many expenses for any young family, and for two men there are many costs in addition to nappies and baby grows.
So, we ask that, if you are looking to give a gift, you consider contributing to our surrogacy fund.
We can’t make any promises, but said baby obviously doesn’t have a name yet, so machers may get first dibs…
Extra Details
While the wedding had unique touches all ’round, the really fun part came when the DRAG QUEEN hit the dance floor! As long-time fans, the grooms invited the insanely talented, hilarious and outrageous, Miss Portia De Fosse made the evening an absolute scream!
Leading countless rounds of dancing and MC-ing the Musical Drag Bingo (where guests could even win prizes!), Portia De Fosse took the evening to a whole new height… and that’s even without the in 8-inch heels!
Honeymoon
Chris and Benji adore wine and pasta, so where else would they go, but Tuscany?? The newlyweds were treated everywhere they went, but had a particularly special stay at the i Pini Vegan Agrivilla just outside the city walls of San Gimignano. Other memorable spots include the Terra di Seta kosher winery and il Castello di San Ruffino hotel.
Advice to couples currently planning their wedding
Other than all the existing wisdom already out there about just enjoying the day and letting it all sink in, we only really have one piece of advice: switch your phones off the day before! You’d be surprised how many guests have last-minute requests… ;D
CHRIS & BENJI’S LITTLE WHITE BOOK
Photography – Liam Smith {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Band – Shir {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Videography – Hershy Hager
Venue – Shenley Cricket Club
Planner – LEXEvents
Flowers – Flowers by Alina
Catering – Jasmine Catering
Ketubah – Leana Tapnack
Stationery – Zola, Printed.com
Chazan – Yoav Oved
Singer and Band Leader – Ivor Goldberg
Violinist – Bar Markovich
Drag Queen – Miss Portia De Fosse
Chuppah Canopy – Novel Atelier
Benchers – The Seder Oneg Shabbos
Kippot – kippot.com
Rabbi – Rabbi Adam Zagoria-Moffet
Smash The Glass Pouch – Smashing The Glass Etsy Shop {or join Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club and get one for free!}
If you’re a Jewish or Jew-ish bride-to-be, you’ll want to join Smashing The Glass’ Brides Club. Guided by the world’s number 1 Jewish wedding expert, Karen Cinnamon, Brides Club is the private community for Jewish and Jew-ish brides that removes wedstress and indecision and gives you what you need to plan with confidence during these uncertain times. Join our Brides Club here.
