Laura and Elad‘s Jewish wedding in Tel Aviv | Photo by Ronen Boidek
Some of my very favorite Smashing The Glass real weddings have taken place in Israel. I always dreamed of getting married there myself, and even though in the end we decided to get married in our hometown so that my husband’s 97-year-old grandmother could be at the center of our celebration, I love living vicariously through all our gorgeous Israel brides.
In addition to being such a meaningful place to hold a Jewish wedding, Israel also happens to be pretty unbeatable when it comes to sunny weather, unbeatable food, great views – from lush green forests to pristine beaches, vast deserts to stunning mountain – and the best parties I’ve ever been to. Just check out our real Israeli weddings section if you need any more proof!
Photo by Valeri Prochin
The downside? It can be more than a little overwhelming to plan a wedding long distance, in a country whose language you might not even speak, and with somewhat different cultural norms than the US or UK. There’s also some tricky bureaucracy to contend with. But never fear! I sat down with Gev Rotem of Bebke, one of the very best Israeli destination wedding planners around, to demystify the process of planning the Israeli destination wedding of your dreams, one step at a time.
Bebke are known for planning some of the most creative, vibrant Israeli destination weddings around – you can see some we’ve featured on Smashing The Glass here – and there’s no one I trust more than Gev to be on top of all the up-to-the-minute ins and outs of crafting your perfect wedding in Israel from abroad.
Photo by Moran Mayan
How Do You Find Vendors?
It can be really daunting trying to find vendors overseas, especially when there are language/cultural barriers, although most Israelis do speak good English. When you’re less familiar with the landscape, it can also be trickier to make sure you end up with a trustworthy team you can depend on to bring your wedding dreams to life.
Recommendations from friends and family can certainly be helpful, but we also have a handy list of Israeli Recommended Vendors, carefully vetted to get you started, and, again, our past Israeli real weddings come with a vendor list at the end of each post, so if you see something you like, you can get in touch.
Even better is working with a trusted planner like Gev, who can not only source fantastic vendors you can trust who’ll be the perfect fit for your version, but will also make sure you get the best rates possible.
Photo by Jen Sladkov
How About a Venue?
When it comes to nailing down that perfect venue, Gev shared some great insights – including one reason for working with a planner that you may not have considered: “There are lots of great villas and private properties open to hiring themselves out for weddings, but the problem with these tends to be that after a couple of events, their neighbors start complaining and they end up needing to shut down. For this reason, we hold lots of weddings at one-off locations where we can fly under the radar – and we have a team constantly looking for new options.”
Photo by Jen Sladkov
While there are also plenty of gorgeous established venues in Israel, Gev notes that your typical Israeli venue holds an average of 250(!) events per year – which means they tend to offer only set packages geared toward Israelis, leading to cookie-cutter events which may not be quite in line with what couples from abroad are looking for. These venues often aren’t open to the kinds of bespoke touches those of us coming from the US and UK might want to include to craft a wedding that truly reflects them as a couple.
Laura and Elad‘s Jewish wedding in Tel Aviv | Photo by Ronen Boidek
What Kinds of Unique Venues Can I Find in Israel?
Gev loves to help connect his couples with unique, only-in-Israel venues like olive and pecan groves, open fields, glamorous villas, old houses in Jaffa or ancient structures in Jerusalem, and locations amidst atmospheric archeological ruins. Israel’s got so many fabulous spots so full of character that are unlike anything you’d find at home, and Gev strongly believes that if you decide to get married there you should take advantage, rather than try to find a venue that imitates a New York club or an English garden.
Photo by Moran Mayan
Finding A Fantastic Wedding Planner
We strongly recommend you enlist the help of an experienced Israeli wedding planner to help plan your Israeli wedding from abroad – your planner can be a real lifesaver, especially if you don’t speak Hebrew well (or at all), but even if you do!
Communication styles and customer service standards can be a little different in Israel, and dealing with vendors might be a little different than you expect – so it’s definitely a plus to have an experienced pro on hand to make sure you get what you need, avoid miscommunication, and secure the best possible rates.
Photo by Mor Elnekave
A good planner can also make sure everyone is on the same page regarding expectations, since in some regards Israeli standards can be very different from those elsewhere – for instance, in Israel it’s common to provide seats for only about a third of the guests at the chuppah, whereas it would generally be considered inappropriate not to provide seating for every guest in the US or UK.
Planners will deal with the more ‘boring bits’ like overseeing the negotiation of vendor contracts, the ins and outs of marriage registration, and the intricacies of holding your ceremony in Israel – they can even help you out when it comes to dealing with the Rabbinate.
Photo by Mor Elnekave
So we’ve covered why you should choose to work with a planner – but what about choosing the right one for your particular wedding? Gev recommends seeking out a planner who knows and cares about not only Israeli culture and weddings, but the culture (or cultures, if you two have different backgrounds) you’re coming from as well. This means your planner will be optimally suited to craft a one-of-a-kind wedding that seamlessly merges your own backgrounds with the wonderful, vibrant culture of Israel – a wedding that’s totally you, but that also draws on the best of your destination.
On a personal note, if you’re looking for an awesome planner for your destination wedding in Israel, Gev and his team at Bebke hit all these points and more. They’ve got tons of experience working with couples from abroad to craft unique, bespoke, creative events that bring together the best of the two of you as a couple, your backgrounds, and the magic of Israel.
Photo by Mor Elnekave
Wedding Planner / Wedding Designer – Do I Need both?
For an Israeli wedding, you may find yourself in need of a wedding designer in addition to a wedding planner. While in the US or UK you might expect your planner to take charge of the creative side of things as well as the logistics, in Israel that’s often not the case: a typical Israeli wedding planner will help you with all the logistics of the wedding, sourcing vendors, and negotiating on your behalf. They’ll be there for every aspect to help you plan and facilitate the best wedding possible and to limit your work and stress levels.
However, there’ll also be the expectation that you’ll simultaneously be working with a wedding designer, who will be the creative and work on making your venue look gorgeous, and also tends to be the florist, as flowers go hand in hand with making your venue look pretty! Some venues have an in-house designer that you have to work with, and some venues require little to no extra design at all.
But in most cases, you’ll want both a wedding planner AND a wedding designer. That is, unless you opt to work with a team like Bebke, where the event planners are themselves experienced designers who can combine all aspects of planning in one convenient package – kind of like what you’d expect from a top-tier planner in the US or UK.
Since Bebke handle all the details, both creative and logistical, they’re able to make sure every aspect of the wedding flows together into one coherent story (everything from the details as to why a certain food is served, to the way the waiters are dressed, and to building up the venue with their unique design and event flow) – so you not only get a seamless end result, but a more streamlined process with fewer wedding pros to juggle.
Photo by Matan Katz
What’s the Schedule for a Typical Israeli Wedding?
According to Gev, a typical Israeli wedding is between 7-8 hours – but for overseas couples looking to make the most of their precious time together in Israel with their guests, Bebke tends to allow an even longer schedule for destination weddings: “After the main event, we love doing an outdoor afterparty with a bonfire and late-night snacks – and for adventurous couples, we’ll often arrange a glamping site for everyone to stay the night. For those less into roughing it, we’ll set everyone up in a hotel with breakfast in the morning – possibly followed by a pool party!”
Photo by Mor Elnekave
How Can You Help Guests From Abroad Make The Most Of Their Stay?
If you’re planning a destination wedding in Israel, chances are you’ll have lots of guests flying in from abroad. For many, it’ll likely be their first time visiting the country – so, if you’re able to, it’s a nice touch to set them up to get the most out of their time in Israel.
Gev says Bebke helps their couples set up a wedding website to get guests oriented – you can give them suggestions on where to stay (the Bebke team also helps their clients secure block bookings with discount codes), fill them in on the transportation situation, what they can expect from the weather, how formally they should plan on dressing for the wedding, etc.
Photo by Mor Elnekave
You might list some suggested activities on your wedding website too, and Bebke works with their couples to book some brief group tours to show guests a handful of Israel’s notable sites.
It’s a nice touch to make up welcome bags for guests flying in from far away, and with an Israeli wedding there are so many fun local items you can throw in. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- A map of the city where guests are staying
- Local snacks – Bamba and Bissli are classics!
- Water bottles
- Goodies from the shuk – maybe some halva for snacking, or little bags of zaatar or another spice blend to take home
- Mini Dead Sea beauty products
- Sunscreen
Photo by Matan Katz
How Many Events Do You Recommend for a Destination Wedding in Israel?
When you’ve got a crowd flying in from overseas, Gev thinks three is the magic number: one cocktail event a night or two before the wedding so that the big day isn’t the first time all the guests meet each other; the wedding itself; and then one final event a day or two after, like a beach party or casual brunch, where everyone can have a chance to talk in a more relaxed atmosphere – and chat about the amazing experience they had at your wedding, of course!
Photo by Jen Sladkov
Who Can Have A Legally Binding Ceremony In Israel?
Getting married in Israel can be a little complex. All official, legally binding marriages are religious – there is no civil marriage in Israel, per se.
Official Jewish marriages are performed by the Orthodox rabbinate, which requires that both partners be halachically Jewish. This means that if one partner (or one partner’s mother) had a non-Orthodox conversion, or is Jewish by patrilineal descent, the couple cannot be legally married under the Orthodox rabbinate.
Photo by Jen Sladkov
Another rule of the Orthodox rabbinate is that a male Cohen is forbidden from marrying a divorced woman or a convert. Same-sex marriages are, unfortunately, also not possible under the Orthodox rabbinate, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a same-sex wedding in Israel.
The good news is that if you don’t want to, or can’t, go down the Orthodox marriage route, it’s totally possible to have a liberal or secular ceremony. The caveat is that this will NOT result in a marriage certificate, at least not from Israel. But it does mean you have the option to hold a beautiful Israeli ceremony, and then do the official bit at home, at another time.
Photo by Alexey Kudrik
The Reform movement can help you plan a Reform wedding in Israel. Likewise, you can have a Masorti (Conservative) ceremony in Israel, but again it will not result in a legally recognized marriage.
Many Israelis who are in a mixed-faith relationship or who do not want a religious wedding either go to Cyprus (Israel recognises ALL marriages performed abroad, including same-sex marriages) or obtain a foreign marriage certificate in Israel from Paraguay, which does not require the partners to be physically present to issue the marriage certificate. These options may or may not be feasible for those wishing to have a destination wedding in Israel.
If both partners are Israeli residents (not necessarily citizens), there’s also the option of entering into a brit zugiut, or domestic partnership.
It’s worth noting that the monopoly on Jewish marriage held by the Orthodox rabbinate, as well as the lack of a full civil marriage in Israel, is the subject of considerable debate and controversy. The Israel Religious Action Centre has information about the background of this debate.
Photo by Matan Katz
What’s a Typical Israeli Ceremony Like?
Gev shared that there are some standard differences between ceremonies in Israel vs. in the US or UK that you should be prepared for – and if any of these don’t sit well with you, talk to your planner and officiant about doing things differently!
One difference is that Israeli ceremonies tend to be shorter – 15-20 minutes is typical.
Another is that chuppahs tend to be simpler in Israel – usually just four poles and the fabric canopy – obviously this isn’t required, though, and you can certainly have the big floral chuppah of your dreams in Israel!
In Israel it’s much less common to have bridesmaids and groomsmen, and as such there isn’t a processional down the aisle in the same way we’re accustomed to. Instead, the couple will usually enter either together or with their respective sets of parents, and that’s about it.
There are also some variations in what happens at the end of the ceremony: in Israel, generally the groom will smash the glass and then the guests will immediately crowd around the couple to congratulate them. Then, guests usually head right to dinner, with no first dance to break things up. At the dinner, you generally won’t find a traditional wedding cake or cake-cutting moment.
Hannah and Eitan‘s Jewish wedding in Tel Aviv | Photo by Alexey Kudrik
What Do You Need to Do to ‘Officially’ Get Married in Israel?
If you meet the requirements of the Rabbinate and you would like to get married in Israel, you will need to open a file with the Rabbinate. This must be done, at minimum, 45 days prior to the wedding day – and, especially for couples who live outside of Israel, it’s recommended to get this process going sooner rather than later.
Ordinarily, the two of you must both appear in person at a marriage registration office (these are located throughout Israel; any one will do) to open your file.
To register, you will need:
- Passports of both bride and groom.
- 3 passport photos of the bride and 3 passport photos of the groom.
- Confirmation of Jewishness from an Orthodox rabbi.
- Both sets of parents’ ketubot.
- A certificate of bachelorhood, if the groom divorced, which can be obtained in Israel provided two people from the groom’s home community can verify that he is single.
These must then be presented to the rabbinate local to the wedding venue, along with the certificate of kashrut of the venue and name of the officiating rabbi.
If you’re anxious about all of the bureaucracy, don’t panic – this organization can help, as can a good wedding planner.
Photo by Jen Sladkov
Gev also pointed out that it’s not it’s not only your own credentials that need to be checked out; your venue’s do, too: In Israel, though all wedding halls should have a valid event permit, many do not. Before booking a venue, it’s important to confirm that a permit is in place, since if one isn’t there’s a very real chance your location could get shut down by the time your wedding rolls around.
So there you have it! If you’re thinking of planning a wedding in Israel, get in touch with Gev at Gev@bebke.com – Bebke even offer all Smashing The Glass readers a 30-minute FREE consultation, complete with recommendations for fabulous venues and vendors in Israel. Just mention STG at the time of enquiry!
Photo by Alexey Kudrik
Contact Bebke
(+972) 97 990 220 / (+972) 544 669 660
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