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Real Jewish Brides: Karen…. Just one week to go!

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One  week today! It’s real. It’s happening and I cannot wait! Mostly because I’ve worked so hard to make sure that all the fine details are arranged but now I’m ready to kick back and enjoy it all.

I decided at the 4 week mark to buckle down with preparations, in an attempt to avoid last minute stresses. Despite the temporary hibernation from my social life, it’s worked. Thankfully, my list obsession has paid off and my token catch phrase “Ok, I’m on it” has caught onto numerous family members. It’s the “Roger that” of wedding planning in my family! Addressing who’s flying in on which date, how many tables to order and arranging the seating plan has stripped the glamour and challenged my attention span. So it was with great excitement that I decided at the 1 month countdown, to take to the West End…and shop!

First on my agenda was Beauty and Skincare. Allowing time for any potential irritations I redeemed a voucher at Cowshed Shoreditch House for a signature Cowshed facial. It left my skin feeling refreshed and radiant and I would recommend doing this at least a month in advance, so you can follow up with a less intensive facial closer to the wedding. I’ve been using Clarins Blue Orchid Face Oil twice a week at night to maintain the positive results and their Eye Contour Gel to keep the eye area fresh and bright. A make-up kit is incomplete without Urban Decay’s All Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray. This is a must-have for your wedding day as it sets your make up so well, it’ll beat all the happy-tears! I trialed it during the summer and even after two trips on rush-hour tubes my make-up hadn’t budged.

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What you need to know about getting married within the United Synagogue

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It’s all well and good to put all of your time and attention into flowers and party favours but the most important part of your wedding is your ceremony. The ceremony has had VIP status for both Elliot and I since we started planning because it’s a massive moment in our lives, and we want to take as much from it as we can.

We have organised our music choices, selected our rings and met with my Rabbi from Dublin, Rabbi Lent who I’ve known for many years, to discuss the ceremony. He has been very accommodating to our questions and requests about the ceremony and followed up with us on a wedding What’s App thread! All of this sounds lovely but there were some important things to organise, which, if you choose to get married within the United Synagogue*, you’ll also need to know…

I didn’t know much about Jewish marriage laws until I started “marriage lessons”, which I was encouraged to take from my Rabbi. These sessions are organised by the United Synagogue  and their co-ordinator connects you with one of their tutors who relates to your level of observation, to explain the marriage laws to you. The boys need to do them too, and you don’t have to go to classes together.

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My married friends have all been to these classes and while you might say that “it’s not for you”, I found the information given to me about the laws of Niddah (purity) and its purpose (to help a couple to focus on their marriage) to be enlightening and stringent but not as awkward as I had anticipated.

Maybe it was my lovely tutor, a lady a few years older than I, who with seven children had time to organise baking parties and sit with me for an hour a week (I had six lessons, but you can have less if you want), without a wrinkle in sight! For some, this may seem like a waste of time as it’s something you’ll never abide by, but the customs and symbolic references will excite every bride-to-be (for example, white is worn because you are like an angel on your wedding day and given a sin-free state…result!)

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Real Jewish Brides: Less then 3 months to go… and I’m still obsessed with lists

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Lists. Emails.  Research. Repeat.  This is my current mantra as I pass the 3 month mark.  The first To-Do List  I wrote was  appropriately  titled “A Big List”.  In it contained tasks, comments and  follow-up actions  of  what I thought, was everything I needed  to  think about  and arrange  in the lead up to the wedding.

Since then,  that list has expanded, contracted and developed appendices.  Why  oh  why did Netflix have to screen Gilmore Girls now? Ddon’t they know how long it takes to proofread addresses and invitation artwork? Why do people tell you once the “big things” are done, the rest falls into place? The  big things are the easy part. It’s the finer details  that  test your decision-making capabilities, ignite  a  creative spark you never knew you had and  challenge  your emotional resistance.

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This month, I’ve ticked off a little bit of everything- invitations, menus, lighting, flowers, religious traditions  and fashion  and it’s been great fun!!  I’ve certainly received an education when it comes to stationery.  I used Etsy, and  Style Me Pretty to kick-start my imagination and quite quickly came up with a modern and elegant design for the main invitation.

Linda Abrahams, the stationery supplier I used, was really enthusiastic and focused on delivering this design and so  I set my objective: let’s get this done  and dusted!  As  numerous  versions of the  design  were emailed back and forth with  comments and  amendments, it became very clear that the only way to reach the final draft stage was to get  specific  with the details.

I had no idea about card weights, types of personalisation and envelopes…surely your guests don’t judge your invitation on the quality of the envelope it comes in? It  goes straight in the bin! But, I confess…I spent at least four hours, avoiding the treadmill, trying to make this decision.  I was guided with beautiful samples of card weights and tutored in the topic of table plan versus escort cards. And so the final draft was approved and I could tick it off the list!  My lesson outcome: Study the options and start stationery early.

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Real Jewish Brides: Introducing Karen + Elliot… how they met to the present day

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Elliot and I met on Banana Beach in Tel Aviv in August 2013 when we were celebrating the weddings of  our respective friends. Knowing of each other through mutual friends, he tagged along with my group of friends to enjoy the rest of the evening. We chatted while strolling down the promenade and while I tried very hard to interpret his thick Scottish accent, the cynic in me thought ‘nice guy, nice night, case closed’. Facebook helped us to connect and we got to know each other a bit more. I was living and working in Manchester and Elliot, who lived in London, was about to take a trip to Columbia so there was no way we’d have a chance to meet for a while.

Fast forward 6 weeks to our first date in London. I was working in retail so my weekends off were scarce and precious but I was intrigued to know if there was a face-to-face connection after weeks of texting. Turns out…there was. So, that was the start to our year and a half long-distance relationship, all the while still trying to register Elliot’s charming Scottish accent. We had to factor time into everything: my unsociable retail hours, our late night phone calls, fabulous date destinations and the Virgin Train timetable.

Last August, I took the plunge and moved to London. Faced with a new job, a new city, new apartment and having a full time boyfriend, the only challenge to this was downsizing my closet!! How did we ever go three weeks without seeing each other? Three days apart seemed forever. So…what was he waiting for?!

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Elliot and I travelled to Florence to celebrate my Birthday in January of this year. The morning of my birthday, I opened a few cards that my family had sent me and thought it to be a bit strange that Elliot didn’t write me a card…typical…he forgot!! That afternoon we went to Piazza Michaelangelo, avoided an infuriating busker and took in the stunning view. Elliot pulled an envelope from his coat and asked me to open my Birthday card. I opened it to find a beautiful message (which I could barely read for his illegible handwriting) and an engagement ring taped to the bottom of the card. I was so surprised, in awe of a beautiful family heirloom and elated with happiness, that I burst into tears.

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