Photo by Rafe Abrook
Wedding planning is such an exciting time in your life – but there’s no denying that it can be stressful, too. Between decision overload, family drama, budget challenges, and more, it’s all too easy to get bogged down in the details and lose focus on the big picture: you’re marrying the love of your life!
It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s not always easy, but with some smart decisions you can keep wedding planning joyful and, yes, low-stress – and I sat down with Natasha Levine of Events by Natasha, one of London’s top Jewish wedding planners, to chat through some top strategies for keeping wedding planning fun and drama-free.
In her years in the wedding industry, Natasha’s seen it all – and I’m so happy she’s sharing her hard-earned wisdom with us.
Photo by David Pullum Photography
Top Tips for Low-Stress Wedding Planning
When I asked Natasha for her very biggest tips to keep wedding planning stress-free, she shared four bits of wisdom – all of which speak to some of the most common struggles I hear from Jewish brides and grooms.
First off, when it comes to selecting suppliers and planning various elements of the day, break it down and isolate each element. If you look at the big picture, it can be very overwhelming, but focusing on one individual component at a time feels much more manageable.
Second, try to not take on board too many opinions from friends and family members. It’s natural that your loved ones will want to help and guide you as best they can, but everyone has different experiences, tastes, and expectations. What might be a wonderful band for one couple might not be the best for another. Too many opinions can lead to confusion, overwhelm, and stress.
I wasn’t at all surprised when Natasha reported that the most common wedding planning stressor among her couples is family. So many of us have a natural desire to keep the peace and try to please all the major players in the big day – but sometimes that’s just not possible, and letting go of that need to satisfy everyone is one of the hardest yet most essential steps toward a joyful wedding planning experience.
Photo by David Pullum Photography
Third, delegate where possible. Don’t take on too much of the planning yourselves if you don’t have to. Ask a trusted family member to help source some suppliers or assist in gathering names and addresses for sending out invitations. Alternatively, you could hire a professional like Natasha to assist you with the entire planning production – a great planner will always be on hand at the other end of the phone, and they’ve got years of experience and contacts that can smooth the process (and save you money, too).
Finally, take breaks. Even with the best of intentions wedding planning can be overwhelming at times, and it’s important to remember to take breaks and engage in activities that help you relax and rejuvenate. It could be spending time with your partner, going for a spa day with your girlfriends, a weekend away, or any fun days out in your nearest city.
Photo by Rafe Abrook
Families and Jewish Weddings
As we all know, families tend to play a big role in Jewish weddings – and while that’s part of what makes them so joyful, it can often be a part of what makes the planning so stressful. Natasha shared her top tips for dealing with challenging family dynamics in wedding planning:
Open communication: Encourage open and honest conversations with your family members. Express your thoughts and concerns while also listening to their perspectives. Effective communication can help resolve conflicts and reduce tension.
Set boundaries: Clearly establish your boundaries and communicate them kindly but firmly. Let your family know what aspects of the wedding planning are important to you and where you need their support. If there are any areas, such as favours or bridesmaid dresses, that you’re not so concerned about, you could always delegate those to family members. Your loved ones will feel like they’ve been given important responsibilities, but ultimately if their tastes aren’t quite the same as yours it won’t majorly impact the day.
Seek professional help: If family dynamics are particularly challenging and causing significant stress, a wedding planner or coordinator will aid this stress. They can act as a buffer, handle difficult conversations, and ensure that the planning process runs smoothly.
Focus on your priorities: Remember that it’s your wedding day, and it’s important to prioritise your own happiness and well-being. Keep your focus on the love and joy that brought you and your fiancé(e) together, and try not to let family-related stress overshadow the enjoyment of this time in your lives.
Photo by David Pullum Photography
Dealing with Wedding Budgets
Another big source of wedding angst is money. Natasha’s top tip? Prioritize. You may want to spend more on a photographer you love and less on favours, or go for a single-tier cake instead of a three-tiered version.
It’s also smart to have both your target budget and a slightly larger buffer budget in mind, so even if things run a bit overboard you won’t need to panic.
Keeping note of the costs of everything you book in a spreadsheet is a great way to stay on top of your spending, so if it does look like things are heading over budget you’ll be able to decide how to deal with that sooner rather than later.
Photo by David Pullum Photography
Benefits of Working with a Wedding Planner
So how exactly can working with a wedding planner help keep your planning journey low-stress and fun? In Natasha’s words, it’s all about taking baby steps.
For most couples, their wedding will be the biggest event they have ever planned, and the most expensive. They want to get it right. And the best way to do that is not to rush decisions, assuming your timeline doesn’t require it. Before getting into the weeds of wedding planning, Natasha encourages her clients to take time to think things over, as a couple (and later with parents if relevant – but only after you and your partner have taken some time solo!), and put into place your priorities.
Some couples may focus mainly on the room, flowers, and the general aesthetic of the day, others may want to make sure they have chosen the right band; again, it’s all personal preference and taste – so make sure you’ve figured out yours before you get into major (and costly) decision making. As a wise wedding planner once told Natasha, “Do what YOU like, not what everyone else tells you to like. Your day, your way!”
Photo by David Pullum Photography
Once you’ve set those preliminary priorities, a wedding planner will be there to do all the hard, not-so-fun bits of wedding planning work for you. And since planners do weddings day in and day out, they have wide networks of suppliers and are easily able to pick out the best fits for their couples – saving you hours of time scrolling Instagram, blogs, and online reviews. A wedding planner will also organize supplier meetings – and generally they’ll suggest two or three meetings with each type of supplier, enough for you to make a well-informed choice but not enough to get overwhelming.
Photo by Rafe Abrook
Wedding planners will be able to build a clear understanding of each client’s likes and dislikes from an early stage. After her first meeting with a couple, Natasha has a clear understanding of their needs. She likes to translate this into a mood board so that all the ideas can be displayed and kept as a reference point throughout the wedding planning process.
Wedding planners can also save you money and keep you on budget – another big source of wedding-planning stress. Because of their strong relationships with suppliers, planners are well-positioned to negotiate quotes and ensure they are receiving the best prices. In Natasha’s experience, the suppliers in her network are happy to be flexible for her and my clients, as she’ll always bring business back to them if they do – so it’s in their interest to be accommodating and still ensure a high quality of service.
Photo by Rafe Abrook
If the two of you are very busy and have lots of professional or other demands, working with a wedding planner can be an especially smart choice. Natasha recounted a story of one couple she worked with:
I had a lovely couple a few years ago that both worked full time and had limited time in the evenings and weekends to give their attention to wedding planning. They employed me to take the reins and offer them solutions and suppliers that would suit their needs and personalities.
I contacted all the suppliers they needed, checked availability for who was free, arranged meetings for two or three of them, and negotiated prices where I could. I arranged two florists, two photographers, and three band viewings and meetings, so they felt they had choice – and all without them having to send ten emails or spend time calling round suppliers, not knowing if they were any good, or if they were the right fit. This saved the couple a lot of time and energy.
I arranged video meetings where possible, and decisions were made efficiently as I was there to guide and advise the couple on who would be the best fit for them.
Photo by David Pullum Photography
Benefits of Working with an On-the-Day Coordinator
If you don’t opt for a full-fledged wedding planner, booking a more limited on-the-day wedding coordination service from a professional like Natasha is a smart move.
It might seem like all the hard work is done by the time you get to the big day, but the truth is there’s still plenty of logistical coordination to be dealt with – and you and your partner don’t want to get saddled down with those administrative details on your wedding day!
While it’s of course an option to assign the various last-minute bits and pieces to family and friends, working with a professional coordinator ensures your loved ones can enjoy the day stress-free along with you – plus, a coordinator has knowledge and experience that the best-intentioned friends and family might lack.
Photo by David Pullum Photography
According to Natasha, you can expect an on-the-day coordinator to handle the following:
The wedding day coordinator can offer to take anything you need on the day to the venue, making one less thing for you to think about and pack. This can be wedding day stationery for tables/table plans, a guest book, your bridal trainers for dancing, favours, flip flops, a gift box, and anything else that you want them to put out on display.
A wedding coordinator will oversee suppliers, ensuring they arrive on schedule, set up in the right place, and having everything they need, such as plug sockets, tables/chairs, etc. Once the wedding has begun, they’ll also take charge of the flow of the day, making sure everyone is where they need to be and has whatever equipment they need.
In addition to vendors, a coordinator will also manage the bridal party and ensure everyone is where they need to be for the ceremony, photos, and speeches.
Photo by Rafe Abrook
So there you have it! If you’re planning a Jewish wedding in the UK and feel you could benefit from either full wedding planning or an on-the-day coordination package, do reach out to Natasha at info@eventsbynatasha.co.uk. In her words, “Most clients I have go through some kind of stressful situation when it comes to wedding planning, so you are not alone. Remember, there is an end to wedding planning and on the other side is an amazing day waiting for you.”
Contact Natasha
+44 (0) 7974 027773
info@eventsbynatasha.co.uk
www.eventsbynatasha.co.uk
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