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Real Jewish Brides: Fran… My Favourite Wedding Blogs and Instagram Accounts

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My favourite wedding blogs and Instagram accounts that have pretty much been saved in my favourites for the past 17 months! And with the one month countdown in full swing I wanted to share them with future brides as they have been a godsend to my planning journey! 

Smashing the Glass

Of course the fountain of all knowledge and the must-go to place for Jewish and Jew-ish weddings! Full of suppliers and wonderful real weddings it really is a fantastic resource! I used it extensively in researching chuppah ideas and general Jewish themes for our wedding. I also love the Smashing The Glass YouTube channel which gave me lots of inspiration for what I want from our videographer! 

www.smashingtheglass.com
@smashingtheglass

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Smashing The Glass

Love My Dress

Both a wonderful blog and Instagram account, full of a range of style ideas and real weddings. They also have a wonderful list of suppliers called Little Book For Brides which gave me some ideas and pointed me in the right direction for a few things! In terms of Instagram they show real brides and snippets of featured weddings which I have spent many a lunch break screen shot-ing and saving for planning meetings with my mum and sister!

www.lovemydress.net
@lovemydress

Green Wedding Shoes

Although American I love how quirky and cool this account is! Full of rustic vibes and beautiful colours I want all of them in my wedding! It covers a range of areas from lifestyle to holidays as well as weddings so you get a good range of ideas and inspiration when dreaming about life post wedding!

www.greenweddingshoes.com
@greenweddingshoes

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Green Wedding Shoes

Ulyana Aster

Oh wow! This woman posts the most insane hair styles that have bridal hair written all over them! She posts videos as well which was great when thinking about whether a particular style would work for my hair length! I spent many an evening swooning over the styles and stealing some ideas for my own hair!

www.ulyanaaster.com
@ulyana.aster

Wedding Ideas

The Instagram account for the magazine. I found it quite good for real bride features and looking at the couple photos they post as ideas to share with my photographer. Although it wasn’t always my style of wedding it is a UK account so you can actually locate the items they post about with ease!

www.weddingideasmag.com
@weddingideas

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Wedding Ideas

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The Pros and Cons of using Pinterest to Plan Your Wedding

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This week marks the two-digit countdown to our wedding and things are starting to get a bit scary real! Suddenly all those little things we thought we would leave for a while actually need doing and the dreaded bills are starting to fly in! My Pinterest dream is about to become a reality. But the question is will my wedding live up to the Pinterest dream I had hoped for, and is it possible for weddings to live up to the dream?

I’m not going to lie, I had a very full ‘wedding dreams’ Pinterest board way before I even had a ring on my finger and now as I sit scrolling through it I am curious to know how my ideas changed, if they changed and why they changed.

The ring

I always knew I wanted a ring that was a bit different. Those that know me know I don’t like to go with the trend and it was definitely the case with the ring. My pinned rings are very close to the truth of what I ended up with but that’s because Gideon and I played a lot of ‘let’s look in jewellery windows and pick rings we like’ so I am pretty sure he had a very good idea of what I wanted. That paired with me repeatedly telling my sister and mum what I wanted meant that my Pinterest ring dreams came true. Sapphire and diamond rings are all over my Pinterest board and it’s a Sapphire and Diamond stunner that lives on my hand.

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The dress

As you know I have blogged about my wedding dress and shared with all of you the highs and lows of getting it. I think that one of the main problems with dress shopping is the Pinterest dream people are looking for.

As brides to be we all spend hours scouring the internet for the perfect dress and when reality sets in; my body (and I’m sure I am not the only one) did not fit the dress my Pinterest board had suggested and nor did my budget. The one down fall with Pinterest is that the wedding dresses don’t come with a price tag (maybe a new idea for the IT savvy out there!) so I might have been dreaming a bit out of my price range.

I think dress shopping on Pinterest does need to come with a warning. You can look and enjoy, peruse at your leisure but be realistic. Be true to yourself and remember the line that every bride says: ‘you never end up with the dress you think you will end up with.’ Bare all that in mind and you can pin those dresses to your heart’s content.

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Decorations

I went a little bit pin heavy here. My dream has always been to have this whimsical, barn wedding where everyone is happy and merry and is transported to a world away from London. I have pretty much stuck to it. We are getting married in a barn with fairy lights (despite Gideon’s loud protests) and we are creating a relaxed wedding with as much dancing and fun as we can feasibly fit into the day.

What I would say is that once again Pinterest’s lack of a price tag meant I had no idea how much my vision was going to cost me. I thought hay bales and signs would be cheap but actually when you start adding up all the little things that you think would make it a perfect day suddenly the cost starts creeping up and Gideon is shouting at me that we are over budget again!

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Niki & Will’s Jewish wedding in a barn (image: onelove)

Pinterest allows you to create a wedding where every single small detail is taken care of but actually in reality nobody would know if the small detail was there or not. Of course it would be lovely to have an entire sofa area made out of hay bales with cushions and rugs but actually people will be fine just sitting on chairs. And yes it would be lovely to have our guests sign 500 different pieces of wood and printing their finger on a poster that we might put up in our house one day. But actually, the reality is that people rarely write on those things because they are too drunk or they didn’t see it (speaking from experience at our engagement party). So it won’t be missed. So slowly I learnt that although the small details and decorations of my dream Pinterest wedding would be lovely they aren’t worth pushing the budget for (did you hear that Gideon? I really am trying!).

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A Reform Jewish Wedding – a guide to an egalitarian ceremony under the chuppah

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Whilst sitting in shul with my mum one Friday night some years ago, I was fortunate to witness an Aufruf being led by Rabbi Miriam Berger. Miriam spoke so beautifully and passionately about the couple that even though I had never met them it brought a tear to my eye. I still remember turning to my mum to say, “When I get married I want Rabbi Miriam to marry me”.  I’m so happy that she is.

Having grown up in a Reform community, having a Reform wedding was always the natural choice for me. To me, Judaism is all about equality, particularly between men and women so that theme pretty much runs through everything. Here is my guide to weddings; the Reform way.

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Anna & Jon both smashing the glass at their Jewish wedding

The order of service

The order of service is pretty much the same as a traditional Jewish wedding. It follows the same order of the groom entering followed by the bride. We will be married under a beautiful chuppah and are joined there by both sets of parents, the rabbi and our chazan/singer.

The tisch

The tisch is traditionally a time where the rabbi reads through the ketubah outlining the groom’s responsibilities mixed in with some singing, dancing and of course drinking. Reform marriage is all about equality and about marriage being a partnership. Therefore a tisch is not part of a Reform wedding ceremony as the groom is not given a list of responsibilities. Rabbi Miriam has informed Gideon that if he wants some whisky with friends for some dutch courage of course he can! And so can I!

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Bride, Montana, sharing toasting her bridesmaids before her Jewish wedding to Justin 

The badeken

The Jewish wedding tradition of badeken is something I have always found quite powerful: the groom seeing his bride for the first time. Of course the tradition behind it is about the groom checking he has the right bride but I still like it!

After a traditional badeken the bride’s veil is put back over her face and remains like this until the end of the ceremony. In keeping with Reform’s emphasis on equality, Rabbi Miriam spoke to us about the importance of a woman being uncovered for the wedding ceremony as she is just as equal and should be as present in the room as everyone else. This of course means the traditional badeken doesn’t quite work. I really love this idea and based on this we are doing something a little bit different for our bedeken…(not giving away any secrets though!)

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An alternative-style badeken at Missy & Yoni’s Jewish wedding

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Real Jewish Brides: Fran… My Perfect Groomzilla!

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Disclaimer: I have used the term ‘Bridezilla’ and ‘Groomzilla’ throughout this blog. I as a bride-to-be have chosen to use these terms in a positive and humorous way. The wedding industry has taken these terms and turned them into something negative. I hope that this blog shows that owning the terms and showing the positives of being a bride and groom who know what they want is not something to fear or shy away from.

Last weekend marked one year since Gideon and I got engaged. It is also 5 years since the start of our relationship. A special time for us both and one which has led me to reflect on Gideon’s role in our wedding process and the role of men in weddings in general.

When most people think of men and weddings they see disinterest or allowing the bride to just get on with things. In one Facebook group that I am a member of, future brides are constantly posting about how they feel lonely in the process or that their other halves aren’t really interested in florists or food or themes. However, for me I have the total opposite. I have a groom who wants our wedding to be the most perfect day. He thinks about every small detail and is just as much involved in the wedding process as I am. Of course I am very much the project manager but he makes a remarkable second in command! We are on this continuous journey together and I love that we are learning things about one another as well as supporting and guiding each other.

As I reflect on our wedding planning so far I can see that I am definitely a slight Bridezilla but Gideon is also a slight Groomzilla — we really are the perfect match! In a recent Brides Magazine article ‘5 Signs you are dealing with a Groomzilla’ it talks about this new phenomena sweeping the wedding world. A groom who cares as much, if not more, about creating the perfect wedding for him and his wife to be. I am going to use four of their signs to illustrate why Gideon is not only the perfect Groomzilla but why that makes him the perfect soon to be husband. For some Groomzilla might sound like a nightmare, but teamed with my Bridezilla it’s a match made in heaven, sprinkled with the odd argument and tense moment of course (we are human after all!).

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1. He won’t budge

Gideon has got his ideas and is quite set on them. I too have my ideas and am quite set on them. I tend to think his ideas are wrong unless they completely follow my ideas or merely add to them. However, he is quite the same. This has led to some interesting conversations such as: serving Pizza at the wedding. Gideon loves pizza. I like pizza. Gideon feels his wedding would not be his wedding unless Pizza featured somewhere. Once he learnt he wasn’t really going to be featuring at the Reception part of the wedding he turned down the option of having it then. After further consultation regarding a main course of pizza, and finally deciding that creating the whole table out of pizza was completely unrealistic!? We have settled on some sort of Pizza at the hotel for those guests still hungry. (This is a Jewish wedding after all!) I love that he is so passionate about our wedding and making sure that it is completely ‘us’ as I think most of our guests would agree it couldn’t be a Fran and Gid wedding without Pizza and I am really glad he didn’t give up on the dream and Groomzillad his way to getting it!

Luckily on most other things he has pretty much allowed me to have free reign and if I put up enough of an argument supported by clear evidence (Pinterest photos) explaining why I think it is a good idea and why his isn’t, I on the whole win!Continue ReadingContinue Reading

Jewish weddings and the importance of the role of parents and family

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A thank you letter

Last week my parents celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. My sister and I planned a surprise party for them and we decided to decorate the house with photos of their lives together. Sifting through the hundreds of photos made me realise how important my family is to me and also what an incredible relationship my parents have. It got me thinking about what makes a wedding so special. What can possibly make one day something you remember for an entire lifetime? And I realised that the answer is family. Our wedding isn’t just about celebrating our love for each other, but celebrating the love we’ve both been blessed with from the day we were born. Love is what makes the day special, it’s what binds soulmates, families and friends together.

I started to think about our wedding and the role that my family and Gideon’s family have had and will have in our wedding. From dress shopping to checking out the venue; from supplier searches to food tasting our parents have been involved every step of the way. For us it is really important that this wedding celebrates Gid and I just as much as it celebrates our two families coming together as one.

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At our last meeting with Rabbi Miriam Berger who is marrying us, we went through each part of the ceremony. As we are having a reform wedding we are able to choose different components and mix and match traditions. One thing that featured throughout the discussion was the importance of the role our parents and family will play in the ceremony. Gideon and I are walked down the aisle by both our parents. Unlike in other weddings where it is just the father I love the idea that both our parents present their child to everyone and we walk down the aisle as a family unit. Both parents play an equal role in our lives so both parents should be by our sides when we marry each other.

Together with them walking us down the aisle they also stand under the chuppah with us. I love the idea that the chuppah is meant to represent our first home together and I love that we stand under it with our parents. To me it symbolises the importance they have played in helping Gid and I actually get to our wedding day but also the bringing together of both families in our home where both families are always welcome and a central part of the building of it.

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When choosing my bridesmaids I made the decision to have only family members. Just my sister, Gid’s sister and Gid’s cousins who I consider family. Having them as the central people on my wedding day is really important and again symbolises to me the importance of family within our Jewish wedding. Of course I have the most wonderful friends who would make the most amazing bridesmaids but to me keeping it within the theme of family allows for everything to be close and really makes it feel like two families are coming together as one.

As our parents have been at the centre of our wedding planning this has at times caused some conflict and disagreements. As is the case in most Jewish weddings our guest list is split three ways; my family, his family and Gid and my friends. With a maximum capacity of 160, two semi large families this has been a sticking point throughout the process. Despite lists, new lists, and new new lists being produced we know that as long as our nearest and dearest are with us it will be an amazing day and as long as the list is sorted by the time we send the invites out it will be all be wonderful in the end.

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