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The Pros and Cons of a Destination Wedding

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Having a destination wedding, just like any other choice in life — has it’s long list of pros and cons. When Alex and I first began the conversation of  where  we’d like to tie the knot, we we’re slightly overwhelmed with the possibilities. The world was ours. Would we travel abroad? Stay within the country? East or West Coast? In the end, only three options really made sense for us: Florida – where my parents live, Arizona – where Alex’s parents live, and Washington, DC – where we’ve built our home together.  

Two weeks after we got engaged, we flew out to Tucson, Arizona to visit his parents, as they threw us a lovely engagement party. At that point in the planning (only two weeks in), Alex and I barely had a grasp of what we wanted from the big day. Since we were already in Arizona, we figured we might as well take advantage of that, and explore some venues. The week prior to our trip, I contacted 5 different venues for fall / winter 2016 availability and pricing. Collecting a little binder of information prior to landing in Arizona. And good thing I did, since the moment we landed, wedding talk seemed to be the only conversational topic.

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Image: Julian Wainwright, taken from Melissa & Ishay’s Jew-ish destination wedding in Thailand

The morning of the engagement party, Alex’s dad drove us around the city to various appointments, narrowed down to 4 at that point. Once we stepped foot on Tubac Golf Resort, we knew we had found something really special. We loved the atmosphere, the ranch-style hotel rooms, the layout of the property, the ballrooms, the heated-covered patios, the gorgeous well kept lawns where we’d potentially hold our ceremony — everything.

For various reasons, Florida and DC were ruled out. So Arizona made the next most sense. And after our tour of Tubac, we felt it was the right place for us. We didn’t give it much more thought than that. I signed the contract that very week we returned home to DC. And then, the rest of the planning, booking, and arranging began!

Planning the wedding from 2,500+ miles away hasn’t been the easiest, I will be the first to say that, and in fact it’s caused a reasonable amount of stress. I wanted to share my pros and cons list with any future brides still deciding, or to any brides that have already settled on a destination wedding for them to relate to.

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Image:  Susan Stripling, taken from Natasha & Jez’s Jewish destination wedding in Cap Ferrat, South of France

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Real Jewish Brides: Choosing Our Wedding Stationery

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Right now, Alex and I are in that really fun stage of wedding planning. Meaning, our invitations have been mailed out (phew!) and we’re just now starting to receive our guests RSVP’s back in the mail. Which for whatever reason, makes wedding planning  that  much more exciting. (what is it about snail mail that’s so deliciously appealing?)

Currently, coming home to check the mail is my favorite part of the afternoon, and because of that, I thought I’d talk about the process of choosing our wedding stationary.  

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Save The Dates

This is essentially a piece of postage that formally alerts your friends and family, that at some point in the not-so-distant-future, they will be receiving an actual wedding invitation. An invitation for an invitation, if you will. Alex didn’t care much about it (or think it was necessary) so he let me take the lead on the design and the entire process. Which I was more than happy to do. The save-the-date is the first piece of tangible evidence that shows we are going to be wed (minus my engagement ring, of course)!  

I booked a quick 30 minute engagement shoot with a local DC photographer, and scheduled our shoot in Georgetown. It was a ridiculously cold morning in March, but at the end of the shoot, we had nearly 200 photos to choose from before we settled on the one we ended up using.  

I loved the various save-the-date options I found online, however the price and lack of flexibility of the designs offered was enough to steer me towards a DIY project. And that’s exactly what we did.

I browsed Etsy until I found something similar to my vision. I worked 1-on-1 with a designer who tweaked everything to my liking. She emailed me a template, which I then uploaded and printed it locally at a shop. 100 copies for just about $50 (not including postage or addressing labels).  

I was thrilled with how they came out. They were in the mail in the very beginning of April. Providing our guests with a full eight months of notice – which for destination weddings seems to be standard etiquette. Fast forward through the summer…

Save The Date

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Real Jewish Brides: How I selected all my wedding vendors in under 10 weeks

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We got engaged in January, and within 10 weeks, I had booked  all  our wedding vendors. I know, I know. That seems super fast, and a lot of brides are curious to know how I made such quick decisions in such a little amount of time, so I’m here to share my secrets…..

To preface, Alex and I are tying the knot across the country (in the USA) from where we currently live (think 3,700+ km). Rather than having the luxury of meeting potential vendors in person over coffee, at their respective studios, as many brides do, it meant that I was left with word-of-mouth referrals, online reviews, and phone conversations as the sole resources to make my final decision.

To be perfectly honest, the only vendor I really cared about meeting in person was the photographer, and of course seeing the venue IRL (in real life). The biggest challenge, in my opinion, is pin pointing where you want the wedding to be. The venue! And it’s true with what they say — Once you have that locked down, the rest sort of falls in line.

Securing a venue gives you a date and a place. You literally cannot do anything without those two. Picking our venue was slightly overwhelming, but once we stepped foot on Tubac Golf Resort and Spa, we knew we hit the jackpot. As I said before, we loved everything about it, and it incorporated everything both Alex and I envisioned for our wedding. We signed our contract within a week of our return flight to Washington, DC. Boom! We had our venue.

OK, so moving onto the other vendors: photographer, cake baker, musicians, florist, and a wedding planner! Now that’s when the ten weeks of non-stop planning really began.

Luckily Tubac had a list of their preferred vendors, folks that are (1) reasonably priced, (2) familiar with the space, staff, and (3) previous brides had been happy with — all aspects are important to a bride-to-be. I used Tubacs preferred vendor list as a springboard in my hunt.  I decided to focus on one vendor category at a time, and went in the order of which vendors I booked.

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Wedding Planner

Before I began with anything else, I figured that I wanted to secure a wedding planner. Someone to assist not only the day-of, but also guide me through the planning stages.

I had two phone interviews with two women who had been in the business for a long, long time which is great. I wanted someone with years of experience under their belt. They were both wonderful, but one wasn’t available on our wedding date to assist with day-of coordination, and the other was highly recommended by Tubac. It was a no brainer. We hired Jeri, our wedding planner and moved on.

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Real Jewish Brides: Introducing Dara + Alex… how they met to the present day

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Alex and I are in that small, but steadily increasing, minority of online dating success stories. Specifically, a match.com success story. After several email exchanges on match.com’s platform, we met for our first date on an unseasonably warm November evening. The first thing I noticed about Alex was his fantastic hair, sharp blue eyes, and a sense of humour that I fell in love with long before the appetizers were delivered to the table. Our first date was nothing but fun, lively, and hilarious. Which truly set the tone for our entire relationship… constant laughter.

The next day, following our first date, around lunch time, Alex called. Actually called, called, to tell me what a fantastic time he had, and how he’d love to see me again. And so it began. For the next six weeks, we met up once or twice a week for fantastically planned dates, Alex always following up with an actual phone call the afternoon following a date. That is, until the very last night of Chanukah 2014 rolled around. I told him (boldly, it took every ounce of courage) I didn’t want to date anyone else, only him. And he replied that he had stopped seeing other people after our first date, and was glad I was finally on his page (swoooooon).

Real Jewish Bride
Rachel Naft Photography

Dating Days

Once we were ‘officially’ together, the fun really began. It was a whirlwind of a romance. We spent so many weekends traveling to various cities across the country. We were both very serious about each other and the relationship from the get-go. Alex did a fantastic job of making that perfectly clear: he made me a key to his apartment, cleared out the second closest in his bedroom, and bought me a second set of toiletries to keep at his house – so I wouldn’t’ have to pack overnight bags — all within the first few weeks. By March, I was practically moved into his apartment — spending every night at his place until we hired movers in June. Was it fast? Sure. But when you know, you know.

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