How to write a wedding speech… by Mr STG

This is a guest post by Mr STG (Karen’s husband)

“Your wedding speech – it’s important”

I say your speech but I do not mean to imply that it’s only about the groom’s speech. At our wedding Mrs STG made a great speech. Why was it great? Because it was well thought out, it was original and it was straight from the heart….that’s Mrs STG all the way.

Further to my first post, I have thought about what additional contribution I could make to the ever flourishing Smashing The Glass and I thought back to our wedding to think about what I might be able to offer and I kept on coming back to my speech.

My speech was not something I was really looking forward to with relish. Like many of us I am not naturally given to making speeches even though through work I have had training and the need to do so, but making a speech at my own wedding felt very different. Why was I especially apprehensive? On reflection I think it was because this was a one-off opportunity to speak to the group of people who meant the most in the world to me.

The reason for this offering is to suggest that you take great care in making a speech and that you make it the very best you possibly can because it really is important.

Karen, founder of STG, making a speech at her wedding to Mr STG

It’s Important

This is the first point I wish to share. It really is the opportunity to express; your gratitude, your love, your feelings and perhaps above all else yourself.

When I say “the” opportunity I mean that there are very few other life events when your world comes together to celebrate and be joyous and that is why I strongly suggest that you seize the opportunity.

Don’t waste the opportunity

I distinctly remember attending a wedding when after a long day of ceremony and reception in the late summer sun….(I suspect you already know where I am going with this one) a groom got up after an equally long dinner and rambled and mumbled some incoherent thanks, he had to be prompted a few times to mention certain bits and pieces and I remember thinking at the time what a waste of such an opportunity.

PPPPP (aka Preparation Prevents P*** Poor Performance)

Your wedding day is a maelstrom second to none. There is an enormous amount going on and unless you are one of those very fortunate people who can get to their feet without preparation and deliver a coherent, witty, entertaining speech whilst remembering everything that you wish to say then you will need to prepare.

I knew I wanted to speak to a few people directly in my speech whether to express love and / or to thank amongst other things. The task was how to collate and deliver those themes in a way that involved everyone and without being boring. I suspect that this is the basis of everyone’s desire who gets up to say something on their wedding day.

Write Down Your Speech

My advice is that you need to write out your speech and I mean every word. The exercise gives you the thinking time to organise what you want to say, to give your speech structure, shape and form.

This bit does come from some of my training. Your “audience” will be the most receptive and supportive of audiences you are ever likely to speak to but they still need to know what they are going to get.

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Smashing the Bride’s Glass Ceiling

This is a guest post by Lucy Jenkins (pictured above),
a newlywed television publicist living in London, whose wedding I featured on the blog last month.

Over the last few years there has been a huge renaissance in the rise of feminism, with women pushing for the right to equal pay, equal rights and against every day sexism. In the wedding industry, an industry which revolves predominantly around women, it seems bizarre that there are so many antiquated rules that determine how we create our wedding days.

Over the past year I was asked on a nearly daily basis how ‘my’ wedding plans were going, and very rarely did anyone assume that my husband was involved in the intricacies of the planning process. There were constant references to ‘Lucy’s wedding’ and a general assumption that the big day was higher up on my agenda than his. It is an extraordinary set of circumstances and outdated behaviour that a wedding day seems to belong to the bride, and yet her voice is the only one that we do not hear.

After many years working in publishing and now in television I spend my days talking non-stop, and you’d think that when I leave the office that my ability to talk and talk and talk would diminish, but it never seems to. When Matt and I first met, on a flashing dance floor of a club, he offered to buy me a drink and we spent the next three hours sitting in the corner talking about anything and everything under the sun.

Our first few dates lasted until 2 or 3am, moving from restaurants to bars, watching last orders being called around us while we were lost to the world deep in conversation. We are both chatterboxes, we love regaling our friends with stories, working any problems out by talking them through, having heated debates and are most definitely not known for our shyness. And yet when it came to planning our big day he seemed a little taken aback that I wanted to stand up on stage and say a few words.

Image: Jez Dickson

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